five sauce @fiveyearsofmikey - Tumblr Blog

5sos with their babies

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

dipsetflag-deactivated20141026

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

iverbz

theseancequeen

Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.

Two things I learned.

One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.

Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.

However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.

stephrc79

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

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disc80s

glitterylukess

smiley bub ❤️

1djunk

I am extremely sorry but I will never get over this

isolate

if you didn’t believe that England hates Donald Trump already: the most recent news of his visit today is that the mayor of London approved protestors releasing a £16,000 Trump in-a-diaper balloon to fly 98ft above ground when he visits, and literally no British person is surprised. Welcome to London.

isolate

I’m literally not kidding

isolate

the people who are managing the balloon are called trump babysitters. I’ve never loved my country more.

eligantly

i fucking love this country. Trust us to make the president feel welcome

isolate

the best part about this is that trump expected to have a royally welcome visit but as soon as he made an appearance, thousands of angry British people started chanting “fuck trump!” on repreat for hours.

eligantly

UPDATE: Trump has managed to generate a bigger crowd than Obama did, but for all the wrong reasons. The entirety of London is filled with angry anti-trump protestors, to the point where he is refusing to make an appearance due to fear for his safety.