There are many times in my life where I wish I was another person simply so I could walk up to myself and punch myself in the face without having to act out the rest of Fight Club, too. Overall, though, life is pretty nice. It’s definitely the best thing I’ve ever experienced, and prefer it to all the things I have yet to experience outside of life (read: death), even though sometimes I don’t feel like it. It’s very important for me to stress the fact that money is not something that should make or break a mentality, because if you let things like that destroy you, you will never be happy. You can at least deter the realization that you’re not truly happy, but it will never give you the same feeling, just as other synthetic things will not replace the real thing. Living in Knoxville for pretty much the entire year thus far has made me feel so extremely happy, even though for a while I was unable to even make enough money to pay my own rent on time (and even had to come up with the money by borrowing from others, when I didn’t even have a job). Despite these "hardships", I have not been scared away from getting out of my parents' house and living somewhere a little closer to my patch of happiness through all things I battled with, including but not limited to: stupidity, boredom, anger, sadness, anxiety, depression, aimlessness, and the lack of a drive. There's a very good chance that I would not be here the way that I am now, if it weren't for my decision to move to Knoxville, despite losing my car (RIP Red Velvet) and quitting my job with like 400-500 bucks to my name! It was a decision based on impulse, yet I never questioned why I did it afterwards. Now, I work at a pretty dope retail store and I make enough to get by AND save about 150 a month. Well, before I save, I need to finish paying off the debts I've amassed in order to pay my bills in the first place, but I will be cleansed of these debts by the end of July. It feels great to finally feel like there's nothing holding me back from enjoying life to the fullest. I am very grateful for everyone who has been at my side for the past 6-12 months and for those that have watched me grow, mentored me, or gave me a reality check when I needed it. I suppose it's important, since I supplied that last group of people/things, to definitely thank the universe for being so rough on me to make me who I am. If things were not the same as they are now, I would be much lower down. (But seriously..) I am very grateful for my girlfriend of 3 and 2 years, and my best friends for 8+ years of happiness. I cannot say those years were always filled with happiness, but they were definitely filled with moments that made it worth it, even if it was bad at the time. I feel like this is an acceptance speech, so where's my trophy?
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