Lost Bet: Game Day Fart Couch
This was for Super Bowl LVIII, that was the longest in history!
...
I drove down the highway with my stomach in knots. Dread was creeping over my hands as I got off the exit. It was Superbowl Sunday, and I was about to suffer the consequences of a bet which I knew Iâd never live down.
Two weeks ago I was with my buddies watching the game at our favorite bar. There was Jimmy, Henry, Ethan, and Carter all drinking beer and sharing nachos. I stuffed a few of the cheap chips and thick cheese spread thinking of how to answer Jimmyâs question.
âCâmon, who do you thinkâll win, Will? You gotta choose right or else,â He giggled. The others chuckled along. We all knew what âor elseâ meant, the punishment for losing that could only come from Jimmyâs demented mind. The others were doing well with their game predictions. I on the other hand only came for the beer and company. Since I didnât care about football or follow teams or trends, all my guesses were shots in the dark, each time missing. It was just me against Henry now, and whoever lost this game would be sentenced to âstink hellâ.
I was nervous trying to gamble. With no reason other than liking the idea of a strong lion, I said âDetroit.â
âAlright, then Henry you got 49ers.â Jimmy smirked, running his fingers through his blond hair. We watched the TV with anxiety, the others looking forward to seeing one of us defeated.
As the game went on, my stomach churned more and more. It was over for me. The Lions lost and the guys cheered for Henry, patting him on his back.
âYou know what that means, donât you Willy?â Jimmy shot at me with his devilish smile.
I groaned. The Super Bowl was going to suck for me. Especially for my nose.
âŠ
I parked my car outside Jimmyâs apartment and rang the buzzer. He lived in the basement unit and I walked down the brick stairs to his patio. When he opened the door he was giddy. âHey the loserâs here! You ready for the best day of your life?â
âOh fuck off,â I tried to laugh. I didnât want to be mean to him but I was pissed at Jimmyâs insistence on these over the top bets he made us participate in. Like he was jigsaw watching over the torturous games.
Walking through his living room the smell of cheeses and meats wafted around. I saw one crockpot with BBQ meatballs and another with Italian beef. There was a pan of baked beans, another with roasted broccoli. I even smelled a pot of curry. This mix made me cringe knowing Jimmy chose that atypical game food on purpose. And a fridge full of bottles of beer.
The others were hanging around already drinking, and they called my name and cheered.
Ethan said, âLetâs hear it for our Fart Huffer everyone!â
I groaned while they cheered for me. Jimmy then led me to the Couch.
Where he gets his ideas, I have no clue. As if he were an immature school boy with the mind of a mad scientist. The Couch was bought used over Facebook and sat three people. Jimmy had modified the cushions so that each one had a hole that someone could sit over. Two of the holes were smaller and opened to some tubing, the third was large went right down into the hidden chamber inside the couch. Looking down into it, I could see a pillow ready for my head to rest.
Jimmy said, ânow put your wrists together, yep thatâs it. Carter you can do the honors,â
Carter walked up to me holding some thin red rope and started tying my hands together.
âSo, wait,â I laughed nervously, âI thought it was just gonna be a hole in the seat,â
âOh no buddy, I had to make sure you can get the full experience.â He led me to the back of the couch and slid a long panel up to show me the cushioned area. It was like climbing into a coffin, or a book nook, or one of those Japanese hotel pod rooms with only a bed. I saw that the tubes were tied up and pointed toward the pillow. When I laid down on my back I could see the ends of the tubes pointing right at my face.
âAnd the last touch,â Jimmy surprised me by pulling an old seatbelt over my chest and clicking into the side. He tightened it before clicking a second seatbelt over my thighs.
âUgh this is so stupid,â I said, âAll this for a few farts?!â I tried to keep acting nonplussed but I was starting to feel nervous and claustrophobic. I didnât realize that Iâd be bound to the couch.
âNot a few, Will, we got all night.â And without warning he stretched a length of duct tape that he must have grabbed when I wasnât looking and quickly strapped it over my mouth. I was too shocked to react at first, my eyes bulging and trying to move my mouth or speak. I started hyperventilating through my nose. He winked and then shut the panel. The others had been watching this all and were laughing at us. Laughing at me.
I rest my head back. How long would this game go on for? Jimmy said the loser would have to âsniff farts all through the gameâ but I didnât know how far he was going to take this. I should have guessed it was going to be worse than Iâd imagined.
He then appeared through the hole over my face looking down at me with his light blue eyes and asking âReady for round 1?â
âMMPH?â
He twisted around and plopped back onto the cushion. It was dark inside the couch until I heard him fumble on the side and suddenly a few small LED lightbulbs went on, glowing against his jeans-covered ass. My makeshift bed was close enough to the cushions that I could already start to smell Jimmyâs musk through his denim.
âSome help for you to really appreciate your surroundings,â He laughed. I stared up at my friendâs ass and sighed. Iâd have nothing else to look at for the next several hours except for his ass. And the asses of the others for when theyâd no doubt switch places for.
The couch creaked with two others sitting on the other cushions. I heard Henry say âCan I rip now? Iâve been holding them in all day,â
âOf course. The inaugural blast. Make sure to press that button like I told you.â
What button?
Then the sound of Henryâs farting ass echoed through the tube and against the interior walls of the couch coffin.
PPTPRTPRPTRPRTPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
The others laughed at the length and sound of the blast. I heard someone high five him. And a moment later, I heard more noise, the whirling of a fan. Air blew through the tube and across my face, carrying the fart stink with it. I immediately started gagging, my skin burning as the tape clung to my coughing mouth. It stunk pretty bad, like he was going to take a shit soon.
âEnjoy the fart fan?â Jimmy tried looking through the gap between his crotch and the cushion lining, âMade it so you donât have to wait for their stink to reach you!â
The fart cloud wafted over my head and the stink wasnât getting any weaker. I clenched my eyes shut. Heâd built small fans into each tube so all they had to do was press a button on the couch to make the farts shoot out right up my nose.
âHope you have fun in fart heaven, Will, the gameâs about to start.â Jimmy said with a smile in his voice. I watched in horror as he pulled his jeans down, mooning me his smooth pale cheeks and ass crack, shaved taint, and showing me his pink asshole. Without any clothes, the ass that was only a few inches from my face began to stink up the air around me.
I buckled against the restraints that kept me on my back but couldnât roll over. I heard another fart rip through one of the tubes before it was blasted into my face. This was going to be a long hell reeking of gassy assholesâŠ
âŠ
The first hour dragged on. I could hear my friends having fun above me commenting on the game, drinking their beer and burping, chatting about life, all as if I werenât in the room. They only acknowledged me when one of them ripped a fart. If Jimmy had gas Iâd watched his ass shuffle a bit and the disgusting sight of his asshole puckering and farting. see him try to peer down at me with an evil smirk, knowing that without any clothes to cover him, I could feel the gas puff right against my face. His farts were pretty gross, making me think he had helpings of broccoli with breakfast as well, along with feeling the heat against my skin. I was afraid Iâd throw up into the duct tape and choke to death. When one of the other two farted theyâd press the button to activate the fan inside the tube and their farts would be like a punch to the face. And because there were very few air holes around me, each fart hung stale in the air and the couch was getting more and more stuffy with body heat and lingering farts that had nowhere to go but up my nose.
My face was mere inches away from the source of Jimmyâs noxious fumes, and I could feel the vibrations of each fart as it ripped over my nose. I tried to hold his breath, but it was no use. With each passing minute, the stink became more unbearable, and my eyes began to water.
If the stink wasnât going to kill me, the boredom would. I had nothing to do but lay there staring up at Jimmyâs naked ass to constantly remind me how much of a loser I was. I couldnât hear what was going on in the game, only my friendsâ reactions. And the sound of their assholes seemed to echo in the couch and amplified some to ear-piercing volume, making me flinch as if they were farting right into my ears. I was getting a headache from the stink.
From somewhere above a timer went off and Jimmy said, âAlright, switch places!â
He stood up, yanking his jeans back on in the process and giving me only a moment of fresh air as some of the fart cloud left through the cushion hole. My eyes squinted at the flood light above and I tried sucking through Henryâs latest gas bomb so I could get some sweet fresh air.
âLord have mercy,â Jimmy fanned his nose, âYouâre not doing a good job sucking down all our gas, Fart Sniffer.â
âMMPH!â I was getting more angry with Jimmy as time went on. This was really too much for a stupid bet on football teams.
But he walked away and I saw Ethan take his place. He looked down at me through the hole and said, âSorry for whatâs about to come out of my ass, bud,â before turning around and pulling his jeans down. He sat his hairy ass down over the seat with his ass hole at the center of my gaze. Iâd seen Ethanâs naked ass before because one of his favorite jokes was to photo-bomb people while mooning behind their backs, but being this up close and personal really forced me to appreciate just how hairy his crack and gooch were. The same hair carried his musk from both his crack and balls. It felt hot against my face and the stink slowly took over my nose. I grimaced, hoping that somehow his farts would be âbetterâ somehow than what I had to go through under Jimmy. They werenât.
PPPPREPTPTRPTPRPTPPPPP
His puckered asshole let out a blast that defined my ears from bouncing off the walls. The heat made me gag before I could even react to the stench. It was beefy, probably from the chili and nachos I smelled earlier, only now at the end of its journey through Ethanâs guts. I coughed into my gagged mouth, listening to my friends laugh at the sound.
âDamn you really got reverb off that one!â I heard Carter say.
It didnât take long for the other asses on the couch to start pumping out more farts. I winced with fear that at any moment someone would use the fan button to inject their fart up my nostrils. My eyes watered from the lingering stink that had been building up inside the couch.
Then Ethan said, âOh no I got another big one, brace yourself Will,â And I watched his fingers come down to spread his cheeks wide. I stared in horror at his asshole puckering, shutting my eyes just before
PPPRPTPRTPRTPRPTPPPPPPPPPPP
I screamed into my gag. It was the same awful beefy cheesy funk from earlier, but hotter and louder and somehow thicker. My skull rattled from the sound and the pressure. They were dying of laughter above me. My eyes were stinking and I kept them shut as hard as I could. But I couldnât pinch my nose or breathe in through my mouth. I had no choice but to gag with each breath.
âŠ
Jimmyâs timer went off and Ethan stood up. No matter how much I tried, I couldnât sniff through the fart cloud and get any fresh air in before the next naked ass plopped down and started my next hour of stink hell. Carter was athletic and, like Jimmy, a blond boy who kept his ass shaved. The manscaping made it less gross to look at, but his pink asshole still stunk from such a short distance so it wasnât that much of an improvement. The seatbelts keeping my body down were uncomfortably digging into my skin and my wrists ached from being tied up. I was glad to hear the halftime concert in the background, I hoped that meant I was at least halfway through this torture.
I heard some muttering over me, and then my heart dropped when the guys on the couch chanted âThree, two, ONE!â
All three asses farted at once, the echoing from the tubes amplified along with Carterâs bare asshole and pierced my ears. The gust from Carterâs ass hit like a punch and the blasts from both tube fans made me feel disoriented. I screamed again because the three farts mixed together into a vile cocktail of nachos, beans, curryâŠa horrible mix of all the nightâs game foods washed down with beer formed an ungodly stink that had farted out all over my face at once. I thought I was going to die.
They were laughing and high fiving again, not caring how miserable I was. âFuckin A dude, I donât know if Willâs gonna make it out of there alive,â
Like with the earlier farts, the stink lingered. At first I thought it would feel like an eternity. Then I realized it would be for eternity for how little fresh air could get into the couch. I was feeling tired and dizzy, claustrophobic, and with a headache that was getting worse. I tried imagining if Iâd won the bet and got to enjoy the game while waiting for my turn to fart bare assed in the loserâs face. If Iâd known how bad it would be for the person in the couch, I wouldnât have agreed to this. I donât think any of them really thought much other than âthat would suckâ. I vowed that Iâd challenge Jimmy to the same wager the next time the opportunity came up and make him have a taste and smell of his own evil mind.
Another fart tore through the pipe and the fan made it gust into my nose. I thought I was going to go crazy down there.
âŠ
Hours passed, and my friends were still going strong. They were determined to make the most of this bet and were constantly trying to outdo each other with their farts. I felt like I was in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.
The last hour of the game. One more hour and Iâd be free. I kept thinking that to myself while staring at Henryâs hairy ass over me. He has more hair than Ethan did, thick black hair all over his cheeks and crack. As if I were looking up at a werewolfâs ass. He told me it was his Persian father that gave him this curse. And as stinky as it was, and how gross it was to look at the sweat matting the hair down in his crack, I was nervous that he hadnât farted yet. I wasnât sure how long it had been, at least five farts had echoed out of the tubes since he sat down.
Then I saw his asshole move a bit. I clenched my eyes shut, bracing for the next awful feeling and the ear shattering sounds. Instead, it was a quiet hiss of air.
Holy fuck did it reek. It was like he shoved deviled eggs up his ass hours ago. I thought I would puke through my gag. Iâd been sweating and anxious for a while now, and this was sending me over the edge. I fought against the seatbelts hoping I could somehow will myself to break through the restraints. All that did was get Jimmyâs attention,
âSounds like Will is really enjoying our gas tonight!â
I wanted to fucking kill him. Henryâs farts had gotten worse over the evening. The heat was making me feel nauseous and every single fart from earlier still lingered in the air, making it feel sickly humid and swampy. This had turned into the most disgusting experience Iâd ever had in my life.
And another silent deadly fart seeped out over my face.
I tried screaming âI need a break!â but the tape had muffled it to a pathetic whimper. Tears were streaming out of my eyes. Another fan whirled on and shot an SBD from one of the other asses above me. I needed this hell to be over.
âOh, oh SHIT!â I heard them making a fuss. Something happened in the game. Probably an epic play that I wouldnât be able to talk about with any of my other friends or coworkers, because I was a loser who spent the superbowl being farted on instead of watching and having fun.
Then Jimmy said something that chilled me, âUh, youâre not gonna like this Will, but it looks like theyâre going into overtime.â
Fuck me. It wasnât fair.
Henryâs ass let out an ugly sounding plop of a fart,
PPRPTRPTPPPP
I dry heaved into the duct tape.
âŠ
Another shift brought Jimmyâs ass over me. This time all the foods heâd prepared had worked their way through his guts and made his gas much more potent than before. Iâd sweat through my shirt, feeling almost delirious from the constant barrage of farts. The beans, curry, broccoli, the whole works had sent my friendsâ asses into overdrive, the fans going off every few minutes to drown me in more farts. The air felt ten degrees hotter than it did when I first got in, a heat that only rose with each pump of gas.
The game went into double overtime. So far, the only Super Bowl to ever go into double overtime. The gods of fate really hated me that day. I could do nothing but stare at Jimmyâs pink asshole as I was falling into sensory overload with the sounds, stink, and hot sticky air. I still donât know how I didnât end up vomiting in my mouth that night.
Over and over I had to breathe in every type of fart. Silent and deadly, loud and obnoxious, short poots, long drawn out farts, several popping off in a row, all to the constant laughter of my friends that got more and more cruel as the night went on.
Double overtime.
Shutting my eyes didnât keep me from suffering the stink, or hearing the sounds of their assholes, or feeling the hot air from the pipes or from Jimmyâs naked asshole, or from feeling the vibrations against my skin or the sweat on my face that had to be holding all the stink with it.
And Jimmy was over the moon. He showed off his farting talent by ripping one that felt like it lasted a whole minute, which got everyone to cheer. They were impressed while I had to take it point blank in my face, making my stomach churn.
The only Super Bowl in history to go into double overtime.
I had nothing to do but stare at Jimmyâs asshole and pray that it wouldnât break that record.
âŠ
âAlright, your timeâs up Will.â
I felt like his voice was from somewhere far off. I didnât even react when the back panel of the couch slid open until the gust of fresh air slapped me in the face. I sucked it into my nose, breathing âcleanâ air for the first time in hours.
âDear god that reeks!â Jimmy cackled with delighted disgust. The others walked around just to get a quick whiff of a fraction of what Iâd suffered all night, thick and concentrated.
âJeezus,â I heard Henry join in, âThat must have sucked dude Iâm sorry,â
If I werenât exhausted and still duct taped, I would have swore at him. Sucked was the lightest way to put it.
Jimmy helped me out of the belts that had left red marks in my skin and freed my hands. My wrists and back were sore. My headache pounded worse as he ripped the tape off my face making my skin sting.
âAh well it was fun while it lasted. Not sure what to do with this couch now. Maybe we ought to bring this punishment back in the future.â
The others laughed nervously. None of them really wanted to get the full experience that I had.
âŠ
That night I took a long shower before I went to bed. No matter how much I scrubbed, my face still felt dirty, and I couldnât tell if I kept smelling their gas because so many fart particles had glued to the inside of my nostrils or that I was getting PTSD flashbacks and the memory of the stink wouldnât go away.
I fell asleep thankful it was all over, and hoping I could get my revenge on Jimmy soon. But that night I dreamt I was back in the fart couch, staring at a dozen naked asses all sticking through holes along each side of me and letting out a symphony of farts. I kept screaming in the dream but no one came to save me. Instead I saw Jimmyâs evil smirk as he turned around, spread his cheeks, and made his pink asshole meet my nose and let a fart so loud it shook my skull and burned through the back of my throat and into my lungs.
I woke up with a jolt. It was just a nightmare. A horrible nightmare.
One that I would have every night for several weeks afterward. The Super Bowl was over, but I was still trapped in the fart couch.
would love to see Will get his revenge
Maybe a fart off?
















