Fuck Anthony Burch

actually fuck all of them. if you don't like this ~discourse~, please go ahead and block.

[thatonenewdungeonmaster]

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

That's just good ttrpg playing! The DM and players should all be on the same side, having fun creating a story together. We are not enemies!

[faultlessfinish]

This is me being bitter and grumpy about getting narratively catfished and I’ll almost certainly delete it later, but watching people on Reddit be like “I know Glenn hasn’t had any character growth for two years but Freddie won’t let us down” is equal parts depressing and funny. There’s no there there, folks. You can collect puzzle pieces on Glenn all you want, but Freddie doesn’t keep track of them, so there’s never gonna be a finished picture assembled at the end. That’s not an objective of this podcast.  They do not plan. They are up front about not planning. Mostly, they don’t keep track of their character information at all and it doesn’t seem to bother them. When somebody pointed out that Henry’s Forgotten Realms timeline makes no sense, Beth told them to “take it episode by episode and hope for the best.” Freddie has said Glenn’s age is whatever fits “the narrative.” When somebody put all of Henry’s dad facts on the wiki, Will said he wasn’t going to look because he was “afraid to see how often [he’d] contradicted himself.” And then you have all this good stuff: 

[ID: Discord screenshot of reverendanthony: you have to stop for your own sake. we don’t even read the dnd rules, what makes you think you read our own improvised lore. /end ID]

[ID: Discord screenshot of reverendanthony (he): it’s kinda interesting that fans generally still prioritize story above everything else. it’s obviously just a dumb goof podcast but some percentage of people like “if this does not forward the plot of four incompetent dads I have no time for it” /end ID]

[ID: Discord screenshot of sippycup:  also I never know if I missed something from the ep or if y’all are just foisting TF out of your own narratives onto the dads reverendanthony: it’s the fucking latter /end ID] I know they like to go on Talking Dad and say things about narrative and storytelling and character arcs but at the end of the day, this is a DnD-themed episode of Story Break that will go on for as long as they keep making bank. Narrative inconsistencies and unresolved character arcs are not a bug, they’re a feature.  Just because Freddie borrowed “Glenn’s wife is dead” from somebody on Reddit and can get choked up on cue when he talks about Morgan does not mean he has a beautiful arc planned for Glenn the grieving widower. It just means that Hollywood hacks like to kill off women to make men more sympathetic and motivated. Who is Morgan? What was she like, what did she do? Why did Glenn love her? Has he thought any more about the fact that Willy literally said that he had the power to bring her back to life? Did he mention that to Nick? What do you know about her or their relationship besides the fact that she died and he’s sad about it? Yeah. I guess that’s what you can put in fan fiction, because they “don’t have time for that on this podcast.”  I mean, at least there’s a little satisfaction in seeing that some people are starting to pick up on the shitty, lazy storytelling. But I also just feel bad for the ones who are still trying to believe it’s all part of a plan that’s going to have a satisfying ending. And I’m mad on behalf of the people who still care about the story and are gonna be very disappointed. 

[faultlessfinish]

[feralcatman-moved-deactivated20]

a dilf is not a dilf if he’s shitty to his children

[llorumis]

[faultlessfinish]

brennan and orion both say things regularly that feel like they’re reading dndads but probably aren’t. 

[fkanthonyburch]

🧐

[faultlessfinish]

[faultlessfinish]

“There is an aspect of toxic masculinity that puts forward death, revenge, and inherited responsibility as a personal journey.”

[portaltworemade-deactivated2021]

i wish everyone who makes up lore and intricate storylines for poorly written / under developed / side / minor characters a very pleasant evening 

[maomao-the-cat]

[fkanthonyburch]

@faultlessfinish

[irresistible-revolution]

normalize creators replying to fanon shippers with “that’s great that you’re inspired to write your own version of things. keep doing that! but please respect our version of our story.”

normalize fans being reminded that boundaries between fandom and creators exist for a reason.

normalize fans recognizing their own creative potential without seeking canon validation

normalize the idea that fandom is a hobby, not an identity to threaten and fight and harass people over

normalize a healthy understanding of the boundaries between fiction and reality

normalize just chilling the fuck out lmao

[whatliesbeneaththefacade]

Normalize fans recognizing their own creative potential without seeking canon validation

[fkanthonyburch]

I'm just here, lurking and aggressively pointing at my username.

[otherwindow]

you ever look at a character you like and think

[steelivoryporcelain-deactivated]

Remember folks, no matter how it ends:

[paulinekael]

people are allowed to complain about anything they want on their blog and people are allowed to complain about the people that are complaining. ideally, this website should function like a matryoshka doll of kvetching

[wrightiverse]

“I also vaguely remember having a mild panic attack about the fact that I didn't know where our cat was. We don't have a cat.”

“I woke up the next morning and cried at my boyfriend about how badly I didn't want to go to Disneyland, despite the fact that we had no plans to go to Disneyland that day or ever.”

(Illustrated excerpts from: https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/53nx9k/what-happens-when-you-drink-an-entire-bottle-of-weed-lube)

Do not do this thing.

[faultlessfinish]

I know you're probably just going to use this as more 'hate' to feed your messiah complex but please just log off. You're an adult. Get a better hobby than dedicating months of your life picking apart a podcast that no one gives a shit about anyway. Your obsession is so unhealthy, and you're a hypocrite anyway. I understand where you started from but I don't understand how someone can be as fuelled and motivated by hatred as you must be to still be beating this dead horse. Go to therapy.

okay, baby. 

[fkanthonyburch]

"that no one gives a shit about anyway"

O h ??? R e a l l y

[foundthe8wing]

okay okay wait, if you don't all have me blocked I have a genuine question for the dndads stans: am I a "hate blog"

[erin-oneill]

[faultlessfinish]

Everything below the cut in this post is about people saying gross sexual stuff about a 13 year old (Nick).

Keep reading

[erin-oneill]

[outro finishes]

Matt: You can just imagine that all of our characters said bye to their kids and whatever.

Will: Matthew!

Beth: Yeah. I kind of don’t want to say goodbye to them either.

Anthony: Listener, this is a place where you might put in some fanfiction about dads talking to their kids. But we don’t actually have time for that on this podcast.

[laughter] 

[faultlessfinish]

oof