Hi!!!! I've just stalked your whole masterlist and read one in a million (which Is AMAZING!) And was wondering if you have any more chapters?
Hiiiiii <3
Thank you so much for reading!! ❤️ I haven't had much time to write for myself since I started my job as a ghostwriter, it's so hard to find free time when my brain is not about to explode 😭
I do have more chapters planned, and I hope I can get to them!!
I hope that's not too disappointing haha but thank you so much for reading, it makes me so happy that you liked it! ❤️ ❤️
Note: A HUGE shoutout to fleetingpieces for all the brainstorming help. Literally could not have done this without you! Thank you so much!
You’re a new manager at a talent agency. Inspired down this path after your next-door neighbor became a famous actor. You haven’t been able to interact with this big brother figure much due to his company’s restrictions. That’s partly why you’re motivated to help as many actors stay true to themselves as you can.
Who are the talents?
Venti is a haraguro actor and one of the firm’s top talents. He seems happy-go-lucky and universally liked. In reality, he’s got a ton of emotional issues that he pushes down through alcohol. You see this state early on when tasked with delivering something to his apartment that he left behind at work.
He totally drops the facade in front of you after that. In fact, he treats you pretty harshly.
His character arc involves a scandal about his alcoholism. He fights the rumors at first but eventually hits rock bottom. It’s only with your support that he has the courage to come clean at a press conference. He even gives rehab a shot. Essentially, you’re his rock.
In the epilogue, he becomes more honest with people. Thankfully, most of his fans rally behind him. He seems more relaxed. His attitude towards you even ends up becoming more tongue-in-cheek, though he’ll deny to the end that he’s totally head over heels for you. He’ll scare off anyone else that gets close though, so you’re stuck with him.
Xiao is a rising star who was scouted at an indie music festival. He’d just been helping out a friend by singing backup vocals in an alternative band. His true passion is music and he performs as an anonymous—always masked—underground rapper. Unfortunately, his manager thinks it’s “bad for his image” so he really keeps it on the down-low.
You see a lot of your childhood friend in him and try to help his musical talent be recognized.
His character arc involves him joining the music scene in earnest. His shitty manager eventually gets fired and the company decides to expand its specialties from acting to acting and music. It turns out his fans really love his ‘cool’ side too.
In the epilogue, he ‘slips up’ and mentions that he has someone he “really cares about” during a live interview. He doesn’t say it in so many words, but everyone can tell from his expression and tone that he means a significant other. Of course, he’s too oblivious to his own feelings. You realize that he means you because he mentions an activity that only you two do together. Of course, you think he means it platonically.
Until Kaeya mentions that “it must be love”. You and Xiao promptly stop functioning.
Childe is an actor with a playboy image. In a sense, this makes him Kazuha’s rival, so you’re quite weary with him from the beginning. He isn’t much of a playboy at all, but a misunderstanding—catching him in a compromising position with an actress—has you believing the rumors are true. In reality, the shitty manager currently assigned to him pushes this persona because he believes it makes Childe more marketable.
His character arc follows his frustration at people not taking him seriously as an actor. They only see him as a pretty face and he’s regularly assigned those roles. While it keeps him quite popular, he doesn’t feel fulfilled. You help him stand up to his manager. Rather, you stand up for him—giving him the warm fuzzies—and when his manager begins deriding you, Childe savagely tells them off.
This leads to a face-off between him and the company president, veteran actor Zhongli. They wager that Childe will audition for a role of his choosing. If he gets selected and does well, then he can rewrite his image. If he fails then he’ll stop complaining and let management have their way. He takes on a grittier role with some fight scenes. He started boxing in his youth and keeps up with it regularly. The new gig allows him to showcase his natural abilities.
Of course, he knocks it out of the park, even securing a best actor nomination. Though he doesn’t win this time, he’s more than honored his side of the bargain and is allowed more autonomy in choosing his roles. You’re assigned his new manager after his previous one is fired for trying to sabotage Childe’s efforts.
In the epilogue, he realizes the need for a nuclear approach in confessing to you. You brush off his flirtations, still believing he’s like this with everyone. Naturally, in Childe fashion, it's either go big or go home. He delivers a sincere and up-front confession on live television. Zhongli and Kaeya are left with no small share of headaches, but of course, they approve. You’re a good match.
Hi! noticed you hadnt upddated in a long time, i havent either, writers block is insane. I just wanted to check and make sure youre all ok!
HI omg Helloooo
Oof, yeah, writer's block and work absolutely got the best of me, I just couldn't fit everything in. I will try to slowly get back on Tumblr, I'm sorry for leaving you hanging like that!!
And thank you SO much for checking in sweetheart, it means the world <3 I'm doing fine, just have a lot of work and things to get on top of!
How are you? I hope everything's great and that your writer's block goes away!
My friend sent me this quiz and I have no idea if this is true or not, but it made my day anyway and it would be nice to spread that feeling <3
No pressure tags @heyitssmiller @donttouchmycarrots @asunshinepuff @whataboutmyfries @peggyrose19 @wonder-womans-ex @ttylfedora @madsholland and anyone that wants to get a nice little boost of confidence <3
Y'all are amazing writers, please let this be your daily reminder <3
you typically wait until the last second to believe the truth–because it would destroy you to believe it, and then find out it was a lie. you are someone who has never wanted to want, but has rarely been able to do anything else. the idea that you might have to break down your walls for the sake of someone else, someone who could easily decide they don’t like what is on the other side, is harrowing. why let people get close enough to be rejected? you are enough for yourself. and you will tell yourself that every time you catch yourself staring at their mouth, smirking at their joke, finding a reason to flick their shoulder. until the kiss. that’s when the flood of want, want, want bowls over you and you realize that you are torn between two ways of living. Oh, you think. because despite how complicated you have made it, the moment you kiss, somehow, things seem incredibly simple. they won’t be once you start thinking again, but for now, for this moment, you live in the quiet peace of revelation. Oh.
Okay… love knowing but wow didn’t need that call out
@heyitssmiller @whataboutmyfries @fleetingpieces @im-oknutzy-trash @peggyrose19 @waltzintherain @clearsuitcasecookienerd @spookypotato @rainingsunlight @blue00phoenix @ the rest of my mutuals and whoever else wishes to take! (it’s 3am and i cannot think 😅)
this one comes with a pang. it is the wrinkled brow of something unpleasant sinking in. they’ve left to find some new adventure. or they’ve met someone else. and you have only just begun to understand their true importance to you. you watch them drift toward a future without you, and in that stark numbness of their absence, it hits you. Oh. oh, you want them close. you hopelessly, selfishly want them all to yourself. you’ll support them no matter what, but you don’t want them to want a future that doesn’t involve you. you want them to read the near-invisible signs of your love and decide to take a chance on you. you never want to say that you *used* to know each other. so what are you going to do?
…………see the sad part is this is actually true. in fact, it happened multiple times. with the same person. do i need to move on? hmmm possibly
no pressure tags @peanut-the-goalie @im-oknutzy-trash @fleetingpieces @onlydreamofmysoul @lesbienthespien @anyone else who would like to be called out :)
Oh wow, this was very weirdly ACCURATE and so close to what I've been talking about with my therapist wth 😂
Thank you for the tags!! <3
the kiss
you typically wait until the last second to believe the truth--because it would destroy you to believe it, and then find out it was a lie. you are someone who has never wanted to want, but has rarely been able to do anything else. the idea that you might have to break down your walls for the sake of someone else, someone who could easily decide they don't like what is on the other side, is harrowing. why let people get close enough to be rejected? you are enough for yourself. and you will tell yourself that every time you catch yourself staring at their mouth, smirking at their joke, finding a reason to flick their shoulder. until the kiss. that's when the flood of want, want, want bowls over you and you realize that you are torn between two ways of living. Oh, you think. because despite how complicated you have made it, the moment you kiss, somehow, things seem incredibly simple. they won't be once you start thinking again, but for now, for this moment, you live in the quiet peace of revelation. Oh.
No pressure tags @justdyingontheinside @im-lana @clearsuitcasecookienerd @donttouchmycarrots @wonder-womans-ex and anyone that ants to!
“Morning.” Finn placed a quick kiss on Leo’s cheek as he walked past him and into the kitchen.
“We’re out of milk,” Leo said.
“We’re?”
“You know what I mean. I used the last of it up.”
“It was just cute, that’s all,” Finn smiled, walking over to the bread bin, opting for toast instead.
“Out of bread too.”
“Did you eat this entire kitchen empty?” Finn laughed. Leo shrugged, attention turning back to the bowl of cereal in front of him. “But, ‘we’re’?” he backtracked.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Leo tried to reason, cheeks reddening by the second. Leo had spent most of his nights since the final game at Finn’s.
“No, it’s cute. I appreciate the company.”
“Let me know if I’m getting in the way or I’m out-staying my welcome, though. Please. The last thing I want to do is tread on your toes all the time,” Leo gushed, setting his spoon down and looking down at the table. Finn could only laugh as he walked around to the back of Leo’s chair and hugged him from behind, nestling his nose into Leo’s neck.
“You could never out-stay your welcome… never ever.” His voice was muffled into Leo’s skin. “Although if I have to pick up another one of your socks off of the bathroom floor, we’ll have a different issue altogether,” he warned. He felt the tension in Leo’s shoulders loosen as he laughed a little. A laugh of slight relief.
Finn stood back up, grabbing a bagel from the bread bin and putting it in the toaster, taking the butter out of the fridge as he walked past. “Did you see Alex at all this morning?”
Leo shrugged. “I woke up, like, five minutes before you did. I didn’t hear any snoring, though, so I doubt it.”
Finn nodded, buttering his bagel, looking over as his phone pinged.
‘Stayed round Nat’s. I know you’re worrying. Stop being a baby’
‘Stop being a nightmare. I wasn’t worrying’
‘Whatever. Leave me some milk please.’
‘No’
‘What happened to taking care of your old, withering brother.’
Finn rolled his eyes and ignored the text, sitting down next to Leo as he finished his bagel off.
“Alex has just asked me to leave some milk for him. What should I say?” Leo asked, showing Finn his phone.
Finn shook his head. “Tell him to fuck off.”
“I can’t say that to your brother,” Leo gasped in horror. “Let alone my captain.”
Finn laughed. Leo still hadn’t figured out how to act around Alex. He was so used to seeing him at training, in the gym, game face on all the time. It was only when Leo had come round and caught Alex singing along to the Hamilton soundtrack that he realised his captain was actually a real human off the pitch. Finn got a good kick out of the video and Alex’s reaction upon noticing that Leo was standing there.
“Tell him I’ll grab some on the way back from my run. He can deal without until then. Don’t know why he can’t just pick some up for himself,” Finn shrugged, standing up. He took Leo's bowl from him and placed the dishes in the dishwasher. “You coming?”
Leo shook his head. “I’ll head out later, it looks like it’s going to rain.” Finn looked out to see blue skies and looked back to Leo to ask how he knew but he was engrossed in a video on his phone. He shook off his confusion, walking back through to his bedroom to get changed.
He waved to Leo as he left, haphazardly picking a playlist and leaving. He needed something that would get him going. He thought back to the previous night, how he couldn't keep his eyes off of Logan, as hard as he tried. He wasn’t sure if he was even mad that Leo was talking to him, or if it was because he was talking to Leo. Everything with Logan had been so easy.
Finn rounded the corner and pushed harder, building up speed. The memories from the night they fell out came rushing in. He tried to outrun them; to leave them in the dust. He didn’t want to think about Logan again. He didn’t want to see Logan again, be in the same room as him, be within his general presence. Finn rounded another corner and sped up, passing through the park gates.
The song changed- ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’. Finn cursed as Logan’s favourite song continued to play through his headphones. He pushed harder.
--
“You played well tonight.” Finn turned around to find Logan leaning against the wall behind him, attempting to tie his tie up. Finn laughed as he put down his bag and walked over to him, taking the tie in his hands. He tugged on it, pulling Logan in, lightly kissing him.
“So did you,” he said as he pulled away. He undid the knot Logan had tied and retied it, smoothing down his collar when he was done. “Clearly not good enough, though, seeing as you lost,” Finn laughed as he picked his bag up. Logan shoved his shoulder.
“Fuck off,” Logan laughed, French accent thick. “Still played better than you.”
--
Finn followed the curve of the path, dodging walkers and kids as he continued to push. A bead of sweat dripped into his eye.
--
“No, you picked the last movie. Your movie choices are shit!” Logan lunged at Finn, arms reaching out to try and pry the TV remote from Finn’s grasp. Finn only stretched longer, arm well over the arm of the couch.
“C’mere,” Logan struggled. Finn had a firm arm around his hips, locking him in with his legs.
“Not my fault you’re so little,” Finn teased.
“I am not little,” Logan defended.
“Babe, if this was anyone else they would be able to reach the remote.”
Logan sat back up between Finn’s legs.
“You’re a cruel man.” Logan pouted. Finn laughed harder, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Logan’s torso.
“You know I can’t resist that face.” Finn brushed his nose against Logan’s.
“Did it work?” Logan asked, placing a light kiss on Finn’s lips, hands coming up and cupping his face.
“Nope, Captain America it is.” Finn smiled as he sat back.
Logan dropped his head back in defeat. “We always watch that,” he whined.
“Have you seen Chris Evans?”
--
‘She’s Kerosene’. Another of Logan’s favourites. Finn huffed, changing the song. ‘Poison’. Yet another. Finn cursed again, unlocking his phone and opening up his Spotify app. He halted when he realised the playlist title. ‘Tremblay’s toons.’
--
“Your music taste is awful, Finn. Have I ever told you that?” Logan fell back onto Finn’s sofa, scrolling through Finn’s music library. He started tapping on Finn’s phone.
“What’re you doing?” Finn asked, lying on top of Logan, head nuzzling through Logan’s arms. Logan lifted his arms up so that Finn could situate himself comfortably on Logan's chest and brought his arms back down around him, his free hand running up and down Finn’s back.
“Making you a playlist, mon amour.” Logan kissed Finn’s forehead and smiled. “Your freckles are out.”
“They’re always out,” Finn laughed.
“Oui, yes, I know, but not the little tiny ones that come out between your big freckles,” Logan smiled.
“You spend too long looking at me if you notice those. I can’t even notice those,” he laughed.
“I like looking at you.”
--
Finn cursed again and changed the playlist and started running again. In his frustration he hadn’t noticed the clouds roll in until he felt a raindrop on his forehead. He huffed again and started running again, desperate to take his mind off of Logan. He regained speed, eager to get back to the flat before it started pouring.
--
“Finn, it’s about to rain, come on,” Logan laughed, tugging at Finn’s arm in an attempt to pull him inside.
“I know,” Finn giggled, face up towards the sky, arms out as the first drops began to fall.
“You’ll catch a cold!” Logan laughed as he tried to pull again. The rain got heavier, Finn’s determination to stay out growing with every drop.
“Stay out here with me, come on,” Finn motioned his head and grabbed Logan’s hand, pulling him in and hugging him. The rain turned into a downpour.
Finn looked down at Logan, whose curls were heavy with water. He brushed one of them away from his face, wiping some of the water from his eyebrow. Logan looked up at him, blinking through the rain, laughing when a drop splashed into his eyes.
“This is cute but if you end up sick you are not blaming me,” Logan shrugged, wrapping his arms around Finn tighter.
“I’m fine with that. As long as I’m with you, I’ll deal with whatever the consequences.”
“You’re so cheesy.”
--
Finn entered the shop, pulling his headphones off and running a hand through his hair. He cringed at the feeling of his wet clothes against his skin, shuddering slightly. He found the milk, paid for it and sent a picture to Alex.
‘I got soaked for this. You owe me.’
‘Perfect. You can have your coffee now and get out of whatever grump you’re in. Nat and Kasey are over.’
Finn rolled his eyes and turned the corner onto their street. He entered the building and climbed the stairs, already hearing the echoes of laughter emanating from their flat. He opened the door up to find Kasey, Natalie, Alex, Leo, James and Lily dotted around the sitting room.
“You’re dripping,” Alex pointed out.
“Yeah, I got caught in the rain,” he said, toeing his trainers off. He pointed to Leo.
“I told you so!” Leo shouted at the same time as Finn said, “don’t you dare.” He groaned. “I’ll run and get changed. What we watching?”
“Captain America.”
Finn sighed, trudging towards his room.
**
Leo watched as Finn walked through to his room, face fallen. He excused himself and followed Finn, knocking on the door before entering.
“Everything alright?” he asked. Finn looked up at him and nodded.
“Yeah, I just don’t like wet clothes,” Finn said dismissively.
“Okay? You just looked pretty angry when you got in.”
“I got caught in the rain Leo, leave it,” he snapped. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, his own tone surprising him. “No, that wasn’t fair, you haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry for snapping.” Leo leant against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. “Just a lot on my mind.”
“Do you need to talk about it?” Leo asked, head falling to the side.
“No. Yes. No. I don’t know,” Finn sighed, rubbing his hands on his face. He pulled off his top and threw it into the washing basket.
“Is it Logan?”
Finn sighed. “Yeah.” He walked into the bathroom to turn the shower on.
“Did he say something?” Leo asked, following him in. Finn sat against the sink, waiting for the water to heat up.
“No, it was just weird seeing him last night.”
“What happened between you two?”
“We fell out,” Finn shrugged. “The others try not to make a big deal out of it because we’re all so close.”
“How come you guys fell out?” Leo asked.
“We just did. We had an argument,” Finn walked back over to the shower, sticking his hand under the water.
Leo nodded, understanding not to pry anymore. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turned around to walk out when he heard a cough behind him. He smiled and turned back around, giving Finn a kiss. “Enjoy your shower, Baby Red.”
“Hey! You’re a rookie, you don’t get to use that nickname!” Leo heard as he walked back through into the living room. He grinned as he plopped down on the couch next to Lily.
Awww thank you my loves @the-blackdale @willothewhisper @chaos-is-my-king right back at you guys and @autumnangel20 @lelamadeasideblog @arangiajoan @fortheloveofthecarstairs @for-verisimilitude (WHO MAKES MY DAY PAINFUL) @genken64 @no-cheese-procrastination @anarmorofwords @ghafa-dale @jurdan-my-beloved @ninacarstairss @gabtapia @clockworknights @pink-party-dino @reyna-herondale @too-many-aspirations @rinadragomir @itsjusta-j-really @everyone whose url i cant remember rn
@anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @epicsreadsadventure25 @eugeniaslongsword @brightwoods @shadowhuntertrash @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @itsjusta-j-really @cant-think-of-anything and I know I’m missing people (can’t remember urls right now) but I love you all!!!! 💜
@littlx-songbxrd @autumnangel20 @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @lifewouldbebetteronmars @rinadragomir @youngreckless @untowardflower @foxglove-airmid @heronstairs2014 @heyitssmiller (literally all of my mutuals though ik i’m forgetting a lot 💋)
Thank you so much Millssss!! 💕 Right back at you hon!!
@donttouchmycarrots @inloveoknutzy @clearsuitcasecookienerd @whataboutmyfries @asunshinepuff @im-lana @potterlocked24-7 @allie-evans
and so many more, honestly there're so many amazing people in this community <3
Remus woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. He blinked a few times to get the tiredness out of his eyes—which seemed to want to stay glued shut—and stared at the ceiling for long moments.
His first thought was that, for a second, he thought he could hear Padfoot’s laugh. Vague images of a dream he’d had came flooding back to him; long corridors, empty beds and his gaming console. The sound must have been a remnant of that.
The second thought was that the ceiling of his room was weird. He couldn’t quite pinpoint where the bugging sensation came from, but something was off and he was way too tired to figure out what it was. Maybe he should just go back to sleep. Groaning, he turned around to do just that, and that’s when he got a good look at the rest of the room.
He sat up with a start, regretting it instantly when nausea hit him like a wave. Closing his eyes, he stayed still until the feeling ebbed away, then opened them again slowly.
This wasn’t his room. There was no sign of any of his stuff; instead, he saw a big mirror, a dark wood chest of drawers, and a trail of scattered things that either belonged to different people or to someone with diverse tastes: a blue hair tie, a black snapback, t-shirts that at a glance he could tell were of different sizes, with stamps that varied from Disney to Strand.
One by one, memories from the night before popped up as the fogginess from sleep left him completely. That’s right, Sirius had offered his home to him after he’d found Remus outside of his flat; he’d come in to take a shower and had sat on the couch as they watched a movie and drank. Things were a bit hazy from that point on.
Had he really pouted and asked Sirius to stay with him like a little kid? Fuck, please let that be a part of the drunk hallucinations. He turned around slowly, glancing to the other side of the bed with his heart beating fast in his throat, but the spot next to him was empty.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Remus threw the blankets to the side and planted his feet on the floor to get some resemblance of stability, but frowned when he stepped on something. Looking down, he noticed a pillow and a blanket lying rumpled on the floor, next to his side of the bed.
A pang of guilt made its way to his chest when he realised Sirius must have slept on the floor while Remus was on the bed, covered from head to toe and warm. Sirius had been so careful with him. Every touch had been gentle, not invasive but rather trying not to overstep, trying to comfort. So, so very careful.
Remus felt slightly ashamed for thinking Sirius would take advantage of him. Not to mention for the way he'd bawled his eyes out in front of the man. He’d made a fool of himself yet again, something that kept happening a lot as of late and to which he wasn’t used to.
“Oh, God.” He remembered how he’d felt his mother’s hand brushing his hair before he fell asleep and he desperately hoped he hadn’t called out for her in his dream. Bringing a hand to his forehead, he could almost feel that phantom touch, tracing fingertips over his hairline.
He rubbed his face in embarrassment. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face Sirius after all that, but there was no way he could fall asleep again and a quick glance at the clock on the opposite wall told him it was barely eight in the morning. It was still too early to call Leo or go back to the clinic, plus he didn’t know how everything had panned out.
Remus glanced at the bedside table where his phone was lying face down and stretched over to grab it. He flipped it from hand to hand, back and forth, the small thing weighing him down every time it fell on his palm with a soft thud.
He could call.
He should call.
But what if something had gone wrong? What if Cocoa had had a complication during the night? Would they have notified him already if that was the case? Did he want to find out like this, far away from him and helpless to do anything? He didn’t want to show any more weaknesses in front of Sirius, he’d already shown more of his vulnerable side than he’d ever intended to.
Nodding to himself, Remus got up and threw the phone on the bed. He took two steps towards the door. The doctor had told him to go in the afternoon; he could wait a couple of hours before going back to the clinic and then he would know and—
A huff escaped him as Remus hurried back and dialed the number, plopping down on the mattress.
“Thank you for calling Mercy Animal Clinic. This is Jennifer, how can I help you?”
“Yes, hi, my name is Remus? I brought my dog in last night for chocolate poisoning and I—I was just calling to check on him?”
“Of course, Sir. What is the patient's name?”
“Cocoa,” said Remus, gripping his phone a bit tighter. Jennifer hummed and asked for a few more details to confirm his identity, to which Remus replied on autopilot, his mind going blank in a subconscious attempt to protect himself.
“Just a second, please.”
Remus busied himself counting the floorboards while he waited, trying to calm his nerves, but it had the opposite effect as he became very aware of how long Jennifer was taking to find what he wanted to know. He’d started tapping his foot when the receptionist finally came back on the other end of the line.
“Yes, everything was ok during the night and Cocoa will be ready to go home after lunch,” they said cheerfully.
Remus’ breath stopped completely and then he exhaled loudly. He could have sworn he felt his heart unclench, invisible fingers letting go of their painful grip and allowing blood to stream freely again. His shoulders dropped, releasing all the pent up tension that had been building there since he’d stepped into his apartment the night before, and he laid down, covering his eyes with his free arm.
“Sir?” Jennifer said hesitantly.
“Yes. Ok. Ok. Thanks, I’ll be there.” He hung up and let the phone fall at his side.
The silence of the room was an echo of his own head as Remus tried to let the words sink in. He peeked at the ceiling from under his arm. Cocoa was fine. The phrase repeated itself a few times until Remus took a deep breath and swung himself up.
The hall was quiet outside of the room, but he could hear some noises coming from ahead. Remus bunched the sleeves of the jumper he was wearing, not too willing to admit how comfy and warm he was in Sirius’ clothes. Especially not when he was assaulted by memories of Sirius helping him walk through this same corridor the night before and Remus almost gave in to the embarrassment. Sirius probably thought he was pathetic.
Groaning, he steeled himself as he padded the rest of the way, but his step faltered before going into the kitchen, a hand rising to settle on the wall. Something smelled amazing in there. Like melted butter and Saturday mornings back home, with his mom humming as she stood by the stove and the sun streamed in through the open windows. The sound of the sizzling pan was accompanied by a rock song playing in the background, a cool guitar distortion filling the room, followed by a gravelly voice singing a capella.
And there was Sirius in the middle of it all, moving around the kitchen gracefully, head bopping and singing into a ladle. He slid across the floor like Tom Cruise in that old movie as he moved to the fridge and a chuckle bubbled out of Remus’ chest, taking with it most of the heaviness still clinging to him.
Sirius jumped up, accidentally closing the fridge door with a bang, and turned to face Remus fully. It was only then that Remus realized what he was wearing: he had black ripped jeans and a black tee, his hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail; and on top of all that, he had one of those aprons that had a buff man printed on the front, that read “Kiss the chef”.
Remus stared for so long that Sirius followed his gaze and looked down, only to look back up quickly with a blush. “It was James’ idea of a joke.”
James, as Remus was quickly learning, took special pleasure in teasing his friends, although Lily claimed he always failed when it came to her. But Sirius clearly treasured anything that came from his best friend, no matter how silly or awkward.
Clearing his throat, Remus stepped into the kitchen and peered at the stove. “What are you making?”
“Pancakes!” Sirius exclaimed, seemingly glad for the rapid move of the subject. “I thought you could use some hangover breakfast,” he added with a shrug before turning back to the mixing bowl on the counter.
“Oh,” Remus said dumbly, taken by surprise. He scrambled for something to add. “Did you get the recipe from the same place as those cookies?”
Sirius spluttered and threw an offended look over his shoulder. “Mon Dieu, I’m never going to live that down, am I? I’ll have you know, these are my speciality. But I won’t give you anything if you keep that attitude up.”
Laughing quietly, Remus breathed a sigh of relief that Sirius wasn't looking at him with pity or mentioning his sorry state from the night before. So much had happened between them in just one day, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act anymore. He shuffled awkwardly to the island and, as he leaned on it, the name of the song Sirius had been dancing to dawned on him.
“I can’t believe you’re actually listening to Black Dog,” Remus said, covering his face, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry.
“Hey,” Sirius turned to point at him with the batter-covered ladle, “Plant speaks to me on a spiritual level. I’m sending good vibes to Cocoa.”
Remus raised an eyebrow, making an effort to keep the corners of his mouth down. “You do know that the lyrics have nothing to do with dogs, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s the feeling that counts,” he waved his hand dismissively, sending a few vanilla-colored drops flying, “and the song title.” Smiling at that logic, Remus shook his head—as weird as it was, he found it reassuring. Sirius peered at him as he flipped the golden pancakes easily. “I’m glad you look better. How are you feeling?”
Remus tensed up, but it didn’t look like Sirius was making fun of him. Focusing on some point by his feet, he rubbed at his neck. "Yeah, um. Thank you for your help. And sorry about...everything. I guess it was one thing after the other and it was just too much.”
“We’ve been through this, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Sirius smiled tentatively. “Have they contacted you from the vets?”
“Actually, I called just now.” His heart rate picked up as excitement coursed through his body. Saying the words aloud made them even more real, allowed them to settle in and gave way to tiny pinpricks of impatience. “They said everything’s good. I can bring him home after lunch.”
Sirius turned to face him fully and his hand went to grip Remus’ forearm, his smile turning so bright it was almost blinding. “Remus, that’s great.”
Remus smiled too, staring straight at him. “Yeah,” he breathed. After a second too long, he coughed discreetly and moved back. “I just feel like I won’t be able to relax fully until I see him, you know? I wish I could go over now.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Sirius said as he leaned back too, fingers moving to play with the strings of his apron. “Just a few more hours, eh?” Remus hummed noncommittally and, sensing that he needed a bit of a distraction, Sirius turned his attention back to the food. “In the meantime, can you get the plates from over there?” He pointed at a cabinet as he got the pan out of the stove.
Remus did as he was asked and brought them over to the counter, where an array of toppings were waiting. His stomach grumbled as he watched Sirius cutting up some strawberries to place over the pancakes and then drizzling chocolate on top of everything, singing under his breath to the next song on his playlist. It was all oddly domestic. It was nice.
They sat in the living room to eat, though instead of sharing the couch like they had last night, Sirius—now without the ridiculous apron—sat across the coffee table on one of the armrests. Remus took a bite of the fluffy sponge and closed his eyes with a hum. “Ok, you were right. These are awesome.”
Sirius had just taken a mouthful himself, but he beamed before he swallowed and licked some of the chocolate off his finger. “Glad you like them, Re. I don’t think my reputation could have survived another fiasco.”
“Are you sure this wasn’t just a lucky mistake?” Remus joked, if only to ignore the way his stomach jumped at the nickname, prompting Sirius to throw a napkin at him.
For the next two hours or so, the conversation was light and easy while the music kept playing at a dim level. But, as time went on and the plates got piled up on the coffee table, Sirius started getting distracted.
He kept glancing at his phone like he was checking the time or waiting for a call. Remus would have thought that he was overstaying his welcome—Sirius had a life to get back to, after all—if it weren’t for the fact that the man kept the conversation going and going, asking questions and gesturing excitedly when he was telling a story about how he and his friends had once managed to get a flock of pigeons inside a train full of passengers. At this point, Remus was pretty sure that Sirius was not capable of lying.
A lazy breeze drifted in from the open window, bringing in the smell of morning dew and ruffling Sirius’ hair so that a few strands fell in front of his face. As he brushed them back, he raised his eyes and pinned Remus with a look that was slowly becoming very familiar. That look that said he wanted to say something but he was choosing his words carefully.
Remus was pretty sure he knew what that meant. So far, everything he’d blabbed about the night before had been skillfully avoided—mostly by Remus averting his eyes every time Sirius looked at him like that. He wasn’t looking away now though. Wasn’t sure he could, honestly; not with such intensity and thinly-veiled concern directed his way. Sirius opened his mouth, the words starting to form at the back of his throat when Remus’ phone pinged.
He jumped slightly and went to quickly fish it out of his pocket, holding on to the getaway it provided. Talking about his behaviour or the few hints he’d let slip about his past was not something he was ready to tackle. A quiet sigh dropped from Sirius’ lips as he got up to take the plates back to the kitchen, while Remus stared at the notification flashing on his home page. “Oh, Padfoot just uploaded a new video?”
The sound of ceramic banging in the sink startled Remus into looking up. “Um...you ok?”
“Yes! Too much soap,” Sirius’ voice came back, muffled slightly by the running water.
Remus snorted and got comfortable on one end of the couch, resting his back on the side and pulling his knees up. He wiggled his toes as he waited for the page to load, digging them into the plush sofa and then tapping his feet when the video finally started. It began like usual, with the starting screen of a game and Padfoot’s cheerful voice.
“Hello everyone and welcome! You’ve all been nagging at me to play with Prongs more often, so I hope you appreciate how much effort it took to get his ass out of bed.”
“That’s so not the introduction I was expecting,” another voice complained.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want to do it?”
“Why, yes, thank you. Hello y’all! By popular demand and because I know you like me more than this silly goose, I am here to play some games and have fun! Mostly at Padfoot’s expense.”
“You’re the only person in the world who could say ‘silly goose’ and not have everyone laughing at them.”
“I know, it’s a skill I honed for years.”
“What the hell,” Remus laughed, shaking his head fondly.
Sirius came back into the room, drying his hands absentmindedly on his pants as he took his seat back. He sat at the very edge of the cushion, leaning slightly forward with his hands clasped between his knees, eyes down.
Remus made a questioning sound, waving the phone in front of him. “Do you mind?”
“No,” Sirius croaked, gesturing with his hand for him to go on as he cleared his throat.
A small line of confusion pulled Remus’ brows together. Something was definitely going through Sirius’ mind. Deciding to give the man some time, Remus focused his attention back on the video and made a note to ask later if something was bothering him.
Padfoot was talking about the game they were going to play and Remus could feel his energy even through the screen. He always got like this when he was trying something new. Remus pictured him bouncing on his chair, waiting impatiently to start playing, tapping the buttons in anticipation. “He’s like a kid on sugar, isn’t he?” he said without thinking.
A cough came from Sirius’ spot. “Well, I… I think it’s...nice? He sounds happy.”
The corners of Remus’ lips tugged up in a small smile at that. “Yeah. That’s good.”
“Huh?”
“He didn’t seem his usual self in the past few streams. I’m just glad he’s ok, is all.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw how Sirius’ hands gripped his knees tightly, slipping through the holes in his jeans. Remus watched in silence but, just when he was about to ask what was going on, the video changed. A small square appeared on one of the corners, showing a man sitting in a chair, not much to see in the background, his face covered with the black dog that was his signature logo. Remus sat up straighter. It wasn’t often that Padfoot appeared in his videos and he couldn’t help the interest that sparked inside him whenever it happened. He scanned the small image until something caught his eye.
“Huh? ...Wait. That’s—” Remus froze for a second before promptly throwing his phone to the other end of the couch. “Oh my God.” He covered his mouth, feeling the pull of his mouth as a grin lit up his face, his wide eyes not leaving the small device lying innocently face up. “Oh my God, oh my God.”
“What happened?”
Remus turned to see Sirius looking at him with a confused little smile, probably wondering if he was still drunk or just bonkers.
“He...he’s wearing my merch. My merch.” And one of his favourite hoodies from the collection, at that. “How—How does he even know about me? I know he likes to keep in shape but…”
The faintest blush crossed Sirius’ cheeks. He rubbed his hands together, looking down at them and then back up at Remus’ still astounded face. He took a deep breath and exhaled in one go. “You know, I’m...” He trailed off, mouth opening and closing a few times.
Remus tried to bring his thoughts back to the room, to the man in front of him and not the one on the screen. He bent forward to grab the discarded phone, his mind still reeling as he paused the video. “Yeah?” he prompted Sirius to go on when he straightened back up, smile still in place—he wasn’t sure he could wipe it off even if he wanted to.
Sirius’ grey eyes roamed his face, then went to the phone in his hands before they finally settled on his bright expression and he sighed, smiling and shaking his head. “No, nevermind.”
Remus tilted his head, but Sirius simply shrugged. “Are you sure? You can say it, whatever it is.”
“I don’t think it’s the right time,” Sirius admitted, letting his head fall back as he worried his lip.
Curiosity flared up, dazzling and hot, and Remus tried to water it down, unwilling to trespass Sirius’ boundaries. Instead, he looked down and tried to organise his whirring mind, eyes going to the clock on his phone. “Fuck,” he muttered. He really wanted to finish watching and keep talking with Sirius, but it was getting late. “I should probably get going.”
“Oh,” Sirius blinked as he raised his head up. “You can stay if you want to.”
“No, I…” Remus stood up. “I should go get the key from Leo. I will probably see both his mom and mine, which means it won’t be a short visit and I’d like to be at the clinic as soon as possible.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Stopping midstep, Remus turned to look at Sirius, eyebrows raised. “Come with me?”
“Yeah, to the clinic? You are not too fond of them.”
It wasn’t a question, but Remus replied anyway, surprised that Sirius had caught on to that at all. “No, I’m not,” he said, dumbfounded. He shook his head. “But it’s ok, you did a lot for me already.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Remus, anyone in my place would have done the same.”
No, they wouldn’t.
“It’s fine, really. Leo will probably come with me,” he said. He wasn’t sure how Sirius could think that everyone was that selfless, that any person would have helped an almost stranger without thinking it was too much effort. Remus chose not to say anything about it, knowing fully well that was not the case.
We’re here. The final chapter. Y’all. I’m gonna cry.
@lumosinlove thanks for these characters!!
@donttouchmycarrots thanks for being my partner in crime during this whole mess of a story <3
And thank you, lovely readers!! For sticking with me for this crazy rollercoaster of a story, for encouraging me when I felt like quitting, and for always being so, so wonderful. I appreciate y’all more than I can say.
CW: prison, food, anxiety
Clandestine Masterlist
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The drive back was silent, punctuated sharply by the two empty seats in the van. It was something they should’ve seen coming, but yet were completely blindsided by. Sirius had been on their side for so long now, it seemed odd to picture him anywhere else. It was like he’d been there for years already, fitting in seamlessly and making friends fast, filling a gap that hadn’t been obvious before but felt like a chasm now. He belonged in Gryffindor with them. And Regulus, while more reserved and distant than his brother, didn’t seem to deserve the fate he’d found. The main motive that kickstarted this whole mission had been him – all for him – and he still couldn’t avoid being dragged down with the Snakes.
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