Fredrick Frankford Fletcher: Vampire Accountant

FTVA fan page, quotes, shitposts, fanart, and more. Side blog to my side blog, url recently changed @sorryimnotditto

[notonewouldmind]

Sometimes a family is three vampires, two supernatural agents, a zombie, a necromancer, an alchemist, a were-pony, a pixie, a gargoyle, and a sentient house

[lyss-overcomplicates-everything]

I love Fred because he's. Just a guy. His entire shtick is that he's. Literally just a dude. How he got where he is? Just a decent person with an accounting degree.

Truly the most character ever. Become a vampire? Quit your day job and do the same job but freelance. Need blood to survive? Nicely ask a hospital for blood in exchange for doing their taxes. Get super rare and low key insanely op powers? Keep doing your job because you enjoy it. A sentient mansion traps you and a bunch of other people in it with intent to kill but let's you go free? Don't go free, work out the paperwork so no one is killed.

His wife is a literal devil. He's friends with an Eldredge magic God (who's also his kinda father in law???) One of his best friends is widely considered the best alchemist/ mage in the country, if not world. One of his (not) children is one of the most powerful necromancers of the new generation. One of his other (not) children is a zombie who weilds a sword of destiny. Was married by one of the most infamous and powerful dragons ever (who's also kinda his friend?) Got married in spite of one of the most powerful beings in existence. The most infamous vampires ever is his rival and also sired him. He's a pacifist. He gets sad at the idea he won't personally know all his clients.

I love him.

[ianthewife]

not all loyal characters have a dog motif and that’s okay sometimes they just have a soul of a head accountant helping their boss w embezzlement you know

[adhdoofenshmirtz]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHINEAS AND FERB

Now ferb

[violetqueenofwands]

[boyteal]

this meme but the super powereds cast tbh

[viahiptop]

ok so camille can absorb pain and that would include cramps right? so being the angel she is she’d help out her girlies when they’re suffering but since she can also give back the pain I’m picturing them all at one of the parties and it somehow comes up and bc boys they’re like ‘nah it can’t be that bad’ and the girls are like ‘oh wanna bet’ and then they do the ‘men try a period simulator’ trend only it’s for real-sies

[necer0s]

I feel like Drew Hayes’s ultimate goal in writing Super Powereds is to get the reader to say “Oh… they’re a little bit fucked up” about as many characters as possible, louder and louder over the course of the series until by the end you’re constantly either cheering it or sobbing it.

[ghostintheheadset]

ok like 1 of my mutuals will know what i'm talking about but i NEED to talk about what an unintentional trans metaphor the main cast was in Super Powereds. Like, there's the obvious transition element- the 5 of them go through a medical procedure that, despite them genetically being Powereds, functionally turns them into Supers. And this has an immediate and significant positive impact on their mental health and social functioning.

But even beyond that- throughout the first book they have to go stealth, because people finding out about that transition would pose a risk to their safety. When they're forcibly outed, several of their friends get mad because they felt entitled to know this detail about them, despite it having quite literally 0 impact on them or their friendships. Dean Blaine notes that part of why people react so negatively is because society has developed around the binary system of supereds vs powereds, and their mere existence threatens that.

And what particularly hits for me is that their decision to transition didn't have anything to do with that kind of societal change. They made a personal decision to improve their own well-being, and the world decided to take issue with it.

[aramais]

non human characters who are defined by how painfully human they are

[ghostintheheadset]

One thing I really appreciate about Fred the Vampire Accountant is the fact that him being an accountant remains consistent throughout the series. I feel like a lot of other series would use it as a funny conceit for the character when they get introduced, then drop the accountant stuff later on in favor of the urban fantasy adventure stuff, but nope. Eight books in and Fred is still running his thriving accounting business. Love this for him <3

[lyss-overcomplicates-everything]

pov book edition

so, I don't really know how this website works and I ain't gonna try to find out, but here's a funny POV for you!

So you decided to visit a little local business fair in your area for whatever reason. You're having fun, going through cool goods stands, and then you find yourself in a section of the con where all the accounting people and lawyers are. Most of them look completely normal, but one draws your eye. It's this modest accounting stand for a place you've heard some pretty good things about, and there are 2 men and a woman in the booth. The first one is this pretty forgettable guy, brown hair, kinda pale, glasses with a sweater vest and khakis, and the woman is also kinda pale, but she looks kinda statley with her carefully braided black hair and pants suit. But the other dude? He's this MASSIVE guy, like you would not be surprised if you looked up bodybuilding bulk and this dude's pic came up. He has this lion's mane of golden hair, and this dude who has absolutely NO business in an accounting stand is, well, not shouting, more like speaking loudly, saying stuff like: "Fear not, small people! Come forth and listen to the great works of Fred and his accounting firm!"

Eh, that's probably bad but 🤷‍♀️

[fletcheraccounting]

And then the body builder ends up in an arm wrestling match with a dude a quarter of his size.

That's when you decide you've had enough of this local business convention and leave.

[fortheloveofexy]

love the concept of vampires being just as vulnerable as their human blood donors while they drink... the blood making them slow and sleepy, lulling them into a drowsy stupor until they're practically immobile.

vampires knocking their victims out before draining them dry because its safer if their prey can't fight back.

vampires who, when bonded with a human they can trust, allow themselves to be vulnerable, letting their guard down just enough for the human to look after them while they drink.

vampires who will sleep for hours and hours right after they feed. The hunger leaves them aching and cold, the thirst makes their gums itch and their throat burn, so when they're finally sated, they can't help but pass out, overtaken by weary relief.

[hauntedmeow]

Fred drinking O-negative blood in first book is such an out of character detail. I need to read the scene where Fred agrees to cook a hospitals books in exchange for the most universally compatible blood at a blood bank.

And the subsequent shortage of universal donor blood that plagues Winslow, Colorado.

My headcanon is that eventually, Dr. Fuerte starts repackaging AB+ as O- for Fred. And Fred doesn’t notice the difference because he’s a vampire.

(Or maybe Fred gets a grab bag full of all different types, but I mean the last blood I would give up willingly O-).

And yes, as my comfort listen of 2023 I’ve thought way too much about this series.

[fletcheraccounting]

Fred is the guy that drives a hybrid car. He would care so much about the type of blood he gets from the hospital.

AB+ is the most useful for plasma donations (according to high school biology) so can't take that. O+ is the most logic decision or course!

After all, it's the most common blood type.

[undekaying-deactivated20240629]

A trope that gets to me: 'guard dog' character and their partner who are both fully aware of it and honestly don't care/kind of like it. Someone says "call your guard dog off" and their partner does call them off. That person, their 'guard dog', is someone who is unreservedly, irrefutably loyal to them. Someone undoubtedly dangerous who is willing to kill, to maim, to obey, simply because of their love for one another. There's no manipulation involved— it is loyalty, brutal, dogged loyalty. And it goes both ways.

[undekaying-deactivated20240629]

A trope that gets to me: 'guard dog' character and their partner who are both fully aware of it and honestly don't care/kind of like it. Someone says "call your guard dog off" and their partner does call them off. That person, their 'guard dog', is someone who is unreservedly, irrefutably loyal to them. Someone undoubtedly dangerous who is willing to kill, to maim, to obey, simply because of their love for one another. There's no manipulation involved— it is loyalty, brutal, dogged loyalty. And it goes both ways.

[princesafilomena]

girl help i'm getting attached