Strength In Pain

Spiritual Belief

[pukicho]

LEAVE ME ALONE

[fletchinya]

Done

I know it’s done, it doesn’t have to be said to me.

I know it’s not my problem, it doesn’t have to be directed to me.

I know I’ll be okay, I’ve been telling myself for two days.

I know you see the worst in me, i can’t hide because maybe that’s the best time for me.

I know they see me different, only by the lies said about me.

I know, I know.

I’ve done this all before.

I hurt others, then act out after.

I say “love”, loosely but I don’t understand the meaning.

Maybe it’s because it’s never lasted.

Or..

Maybe it’s because I don’t need it.

You speak about what’s been eating you alive, unfortunately nobody wants to hear it.

So here you are, on a blank page, with your phone in your face.. with the words that won’t matter.

You think writing will help, until you realize you’re just by yourself.

I already know it’ll be okay, so forgive me if I’m not what you expected.

I already know, everything is done.

What I didn’t know, is how hurt, and broken, I have finally and truly become.

[bl0w-m3]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[gasrag-deactivated20140212]

[fletchinya]

It’s a joke.

[elohttub]

[typhlonectes]

[chonidale]

[fnordseer5]

don't forget to scroll through your own blog

[uzone]

[hijacker-deactivated20160621]

reblog if u like titties

[fletchinya]

I sit and wait like a coin on a sidewalk, looking up as if I’m heads up for good luck.

I sit and wait for your opening hands to pick me up, with the words you’ve been wanting to say.

I sit and wait as if you’ll look up from your phone, and enjoy what’s around you, instead of what’s behind a screen.

I sit and wait for the moment you realize what you have is slowly fading away.

My worth in what we call a relationship has lessen each time I’ve fallin, but I’m still heads up with the hope of some luck.

I sit and think, you needed me all this time, but when I’m here, you’re there in a different time.

I sit and wonder, if it was that important for you to speak your words, then why has nothing been said yet.

So I sit and wait.. like a coin on a sidewalk, looking up as if I’m heads up for luck.. watching you.. walk off.

[jordanbolton]

To The Person At The Bus Stop Holding A Bouquet of Red Roses by Jordan Bolton

Part of Scenes from Imagined Films

[advant]

I'm not in a relationship..

It's just..

I'm in love with someone I can't unlove..

[fletchinya]

It’s crazy when you feel that exact moment when you just don’t give a fuck anymore.

When you’ve been hurt so much, too often something in you will snap.

When that happens, you become numb, you end up not giving a single fuck anymore.

You care about me? Cool.

You love me? Cool

You need me? Cool.

You’re mad at me? Cool

I seriously do not fucking care anymore.

- Broken.

The only people to blame are the ones that caused you so much pain, and confusion.

The REAL person to blame, is yourself. You let this happen, your heart was too kind, your mind spoke freely. For what? For THEM not to care at that moment.

Then once you’ve finally had enough, and once you finally are okay with letting go because you feel nothing. That’s when they decide to care.

- Cool. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[fletchinya]

I’m here too..

You know one thing I’ve learned while learning to be alone is..

You’re expected to be okay by everyone else.

You’re expected to put on that smile, give out that positivity.

Nobody wants to hear what happened, nobody wants to hear the sadness you carry… nobody wants to be put down from telling my experience.

You’re expected to be there.

I know, I know I don’t HAVE to be there for anyone, I’ve been given this beating, yet aching heart and I use it to care for others more than I have for myself.

When it’s just me and this beating heart, we’re mean to each other, but when it’s me, this beating heart and someone else were the nicest, most caring you’ve ever met.

You’re expected to fake it.

You’re there for others, but how often can someone just be there for you…once.

A walk, a talk on the phone, a movie, just something so I know that maybe I don’t have to feel like this.

But I do… feel.. alone.

That’s the whole point of healing to be by yourself, right?

I didn’t think alone actually meant alone.

I thought it was making new connections, hearing different understandings, seeing different perspectives…

But nobody sees yours.

All you can say is… that’s okay.

All you can say is.. no I’m okay!

All you can do is… be there.

When you’re silently suffering from just needing someone to hear you, to see you, to show you.

Maybe this is it..

“The one that didn’t want to feel… alone.”

[joytri]