I Was Really Just Trying to Help

Flick Tenae || Hufflepuff || 7th year

[mysterytwin-mabel]

Hey Mabel, Happy Birthday! I'm sorry I couldn't be there to see you turn the big 1-6. I promise I'll be around for the next one. I hope you're having an incredible day. I love you and I miss you a ton. South Africa is great, and I'm getting a lot of work done. Nala says Happy Birthday as well. It's pretty warm here, but I've been finding ways to wear your sweater anyway. It's still one of the best presents I've ever gotten. Have a great day and a good year. You've earned it. ~ Flick

There had been the general pile of junk in the mailbox–things that typically got thrown out without a second notice.  But, given that today was hers and Dipper’s birthday, there was the occasional piece of mail that needed to be saved.  Things from their parents, well wishes and cards from distant family that their parents had also sent along, a handful of things from friends from school.  The letters from Flick, though, hadn’t been expected.  They should have been, given that they wrote each other all the time.  But, for some reason, Mabel hadn’t really thought that he’d send her a letter on her birthday.  Giddy, she bolted inside, literally throwing all the other mail at the table as she passed and throwing herself into Stan’s vacated chair to read the latest news from her friend.

It was easy enough to get lost in it, in his words and the general excitement and just elation at hearing from him. Mentally, she was already writing her reply to him.  The further she got in it though, the heavier her heart felt.  It wasn’t the same without Flick around.  Maybe, if he was still here, things wouldn’t be so sucky.  They could paint and he would reassure her, tell her that sweaters were very grown up and that finger painting was a fun adult task.  He’d be smart enough to help her figure out how to help Dipper, so that she wouldn’t have to turn to Bill.  It’d be easier with him.  But, really, she just missed him.  He was weird and dorky and her best friend, and it sucked that he wasn’t around.  She was happy he was happy, and that he was getting work done and was hanging out with Nala.  But she also selfishly wanted him back here, with her.  That was something she’d leave out of her letter back.

[flicktheinventor]

As he felt her stepping away, he dropped his arms, giving her space. There was something so final about all of this, and he had never been any good about goodbyes. Not real ones. But he supposed he had chosen to do this to himself so it was time to make it work. “Right. Right I should…Nala and I are heading out tonight so I should go meet her. Um, right. Bye Roz.” He followed his impulse and kissed her quickly on the cheek before smiling at her and walking away. He had to remember that he was moving toward something, and that this wasn’t for forever. It was just for now. And it was time for him to let her go.

[always-watching-always-blog]

Roz’s eyes widened as he kissed her cheek. As suddenly as he had pecked her, he was turning away. Her hand came up to her cheek in surprise. “Right. Goodbye, Flick.” She watched him leave, her hand not leaving her cheek. It was stupid, and gross, and everything she was against…but…she wondered what life could have been like if that kiss was something a little more than friendly. But it didn’t matter now. He had Nala, and adventure, and what sounded like a great life ahead of him, and she was truly happy for him. She turned as he walked out of sight, headed her own way, her solitary path, one she’d always preferred, and it was no different now, though she’d await his letters.

[always-watching-always-blog]

“As am I,” she said with a wry but sad grin. She held on to him for a few minutes longer, as if she could just make him stay by never letting go. But she had to let go. She let space drift between them, and though she was well practiced with shoving things away what with her usual tactic of dealing with feelings, no matter how much she lied to herself, it never did get any easier. Not for the strong emotions. “And I’m also saying you should probably get out of here before I knit you to a lamp post in Hogsmede.” She was kidding, of course, in her own deadpan way. But there was truth to it.

[flicktheinventor]

As he felt her stepping away, he dropped his arms, giving her space. There was something so final about all of this, and he had never been any good about goodbyes. Not real ones. But he supposed he had chosen to do this to himself so it was time to make it work. “Right. Right I should...Nala and I are heading out tonight so I should go meet her. Um, right. Bye Roz.” He followed his impulse and kissed her quickly on the cheek before smiling at her and walking away. He had to remember that he was moving toward something, and that this wasn’t for forever. It was just for now. And it was time for him to let her go.

[flicktheinventor]

Never Let This Go || Wildheart

[headstronglioness]

Something about Flick’s demeanor reminded her of a fire that was put out and smoldering quietly in a pile of ashes. But it was understandable with everything that had happened. It was just her job to help light his fire again, anyway she could. “Perfect!” She responded brightly, taking both his hands in her own. “I’ll see you later tonight, Flick.” Standing up on her tip toes, she planted a soft kiss on his lips. “I can’t wait for this new adventure with you.” And with that she turned and walked off to pack away her old life and start another.

[flicktheinventor]

He smiled slightly into the kiss, feeling the brush as a small warmth where so much of him was numb. This would be good. Maybe she could find something to make her happy while he found himself. All that he had left to do was pack. Walking away from her, he headed back towards the Hufflepuff dorm to pack the final remnants of the past 7 years of his life. After that and maybe one more goodbye, he would have severed all ties to this place. Hopefully the future held something decent. He had given enough pain to earn it.

[flicktheinventor]

Never Let This Go || Wildheart

[headstronglioness]

She shook her head in response to her question. “Nope it won’t take long for me to pack. I’ve been packing every day since the end of the war. I guess part of me knew that we’d be leaving.” She grinned up at him, trying, once again, to be as encouraging as possible. She could tell he needed it. “I should only take the afternoon to finish up. And then we’ll go? Like….by apparation so we’ll be in South Africa tonight?” She felt her heart begin to race with excitement. Was she really going home?

[flicktheinventor]

He should really tell her no. After all, apparation was dangerous over that kind of distance, and he couldn’t really help her since he had no idea where they were going. And yet...”That sounds great. I can be ready by tonight. I don’t have many goodbyes to say either, so as soon as you’re ready, we can go.” Why not? After all, both of them had survived something that had killed so many other people. They should be able to manage this. It’s not like he had anything to lose.

[flicktheinventor]

Never Let This Go || Wildheart

[headstronglioness]

“Anywhere.” Nala responded automatically. As long as she was with Flick, she would be happy.  Getting away from Hogwarts was exactly what she needed. But she missed her home and always wanted to take such a special guy there. “How about South Africa? I know we talked about it a while ago and this seems like the perfect time to go. The beaches are amazing in the summer….” She smiled up at him, trying to be the optimism she knew he desperately needed.

[flicktheinventor]

“Sure. Fine. That sounds great.” He meant it when he said he didn’t care where they were going as long as it was far away, and South Africa was about as far as they could get. After all, it was hot and dry to Scotland’s cold rain, literally on the farthest side of the hemisphere from where they were. And he knew how much Nala wanted to go back. It was nice she was going to get something good out of it. “I just have to pack my school things and then I’m ready to go. I can probably find somewhere to stay in town if you need longer.”

[always-watching-always-blog]

Roz stiffened a little at the hug, unused to such displays of affection, but slowly sunk into it, wrapping her arms around him as well. She did like hugs, if they were from the right person. A person she cared about. A person she trusted. Flick was both of these things. She buried her face in his shoulder, unable to keep the tears at bay anymore, but unwilling to let anyone see her cry. Crying felt good, a release of her pent up emotions. Even still, it was not an action she did in public; she rarely did it anywhere anymore. So practiced in her feeling control, she felt it hard to conjure up any emotion other than dulled, numb replicas. This, however. This was the real thing. “Don’t say that. You’re good enough for anything you put your mind to,” she said fiercely, and then softer, “I will.” She wasn’t particularily sure how she felt about the other girl. She was….touchy. And much too excited. But they both knitted, so she supposed they had something in common. “Thank you,” she whispered, hugging him tighter. She knew she could do anything she set her mind to, but she’d had so much adversary saying the contrary that she had begun wondering if she was trying to accomplish the impossible. It was nice to have someone in her corner.

[flicktheinventor]

As Roz agreed to look after Mabel he sighed, feeling a small knot of tension loosen. He didn’t have many friends, and he had no idea if they would get along at all. But with everything else that Mabel had gone through, and the fact that he couldn’t even find her now, it made him worry. At least this way he could count on someone helping her when he wasn’t around. And despite what Roz said, he knew he couldn’t manage the job nearly as well as she would be able to with the place he was in. For a moment it was nice to just stay like this, feeling the embrace of another person and feeling more alive than he had in weeks. “Just saying what I see.”

[always-watching-always-blog]

“I don’t…need anything, persay…” She looked away. She;d been taught to push away feelings, to bottle them up, but…her first true friend in a long time was leaving her. If that was not a reason to let out emotion, she didn’t think she would ever express anything. “I just…You said once that you wouldn’t be such a good friend to have, Flick. But that isn’t true. You’ve been my best friend. And…I’m going to miss you.” She actually felt herself tearing up. How disgusting. She quickly wiped her eyes and took a steadying breath. How could she have taken his friendship for granted? She should know better than to take anything for granted, especially after the incident with her eyes. And just like her sight, Flick was leaving her.

[flicktheinventor]

Flick stared at her for a moment before pulling her into a hug. He knew she probably wasn’t that into displays like this, but he couldn’t think of a better way to express what this meant to him. “You’ve been there for me through everything, and I just...I’ll miss you too. A lot. I couldn’t have done this without you.” For a moment he squeezed her slightly, trying to hide his own tears. “Could you do me a favor? Keep an eye on Mabel? I had been going to, but I’m not good enough for that anymore. You are though. You can do anything.”

[always-watching-always-blog]

“Me too,” she said, biting her lip. It felt as if there was so much left to say and so little time left to say it in, almost as if the sheer volume of words had only a small space to escape from, and as such were trapped in the corners of her mind. 

[flicktheinventor]

“I...uh...did you need anything else? Otherwise I should probably...” He couldn’t seem to finish a sentence for some reason. He didn’t have that many goodbyes to make, but he’d had no idea that this one would be so hard.

[flicktheinventor]

Never Let This Go || Wildheart

[headstronglioness]

She could tell her words shocked him, but she was glad for the extra contact when he leaned against her forehead. The news about Dot still had her mind reeling and she honestly didn’t have any words that could possibly help him. What he was going through was entirely unimaginable to her and she knew he was beating himself up in his head and would continue to do so for far longer than he should. But so long as he clung to her for any semblance of salvation, she was going to be there for him. Closing her eyes momentarily at his words, she hated the hesitation and heartbreak she heard in his voice. “You already are.”

[flicktheinventor]

He couldn’t let himself believe the words, so he didn’t bother to try. She would stay or she would walk, that was up to her. He couldn’t try to predict the future. Right now his entire focus was on getting as far away from the memories as possible, because nothing in his future could hurt as much as the past. So it was time to keep planning for it right? Make it happen. Step by step he could get through this, at least as best as he could. That was what mattered. “Why don’t you pick where we go. I don’t really care where.”

[always-watching-always-blog]

“You know me, Gossip Girl,” she deadpanned, then smirked. “Of course I will. You’re one of the few people I haven’t scared off yet.” She raised an eyebrow, still smirking. She was proud of her scary demeanour, and equally proud of Flick for withstanding it.

[flicktheinventor]

“Good. I’m looking forward to this.” He shifted the bag on his shoulder again, He could feel that he was still stalling on going anywhere, but the move to actually end the conversation felt like too final a step.

[always-watching-always-blog]

Roz nodded. “True…I suppose I had just not considered it before.”

[flicktheinventor]

“I’m expecting to hear all about it when you do decide.”

[always-watching-always-blog]

Roz frowned. “A…dog?…But they’re so needy…and loud…and messy…” She hadn’t really considered a dog. Considering one now made her realize why. “…Why a dog?”

[flicktheinventor]

“You said you wanted something to keep you occupied, right? So a dog would do that. They need attention, sure, but so does every pet. And it wouldn’t have to be a really big one or anything. So.. I dunno, I just thought of it.”

[flicktheinventor]

Never Let This Go || Wildheart

[headstronglioness]

“You don’t have to, Flick.” She responded simply. He didn’t need to explain himself to her. Families were complicated and death made things even more complicated. She knew that. So he would never need to explain his feelings to her concerning his family. She would just accept them for what they were.

Nala sensed his hesitation and fear before he spoke up. But at his words, Nala shook her head softly. “I wouldn’t expect that to happen and you come out of it unscathed, Flick. So I understand. If I lost someone like Simon. Or you..” She paused, unwilling to even consider the possibility. “You have nothing but understanding and patience from me Flick. I’m going to be by your side every step of the way and we’ll try to reassemble the clock I promise. I don’t think it will ever be 100% fixed again. But It will get better. Of that I have no doubt. And I don’t care what I ‘deserve’ Flick Tenae. You’re the one I want.”

[flicktheinventor]

Flick just stared at her as she spoke, trying to convince himself that this was real. Even with everything she’d said, most of him had figured that she would walk away as soon as he broke. And yet she was still here, saying she wanted to stay with him and travel with him even when he had no idea what he wanted. Swallowing hard, he leaned his forehead against hers so they could have a little extra contact. Just, more. “I don’t know how I got this lucky. I’ll try to be worth it.”

[headstronglioness]

Hold On Tight | Wildheart

[headstronglioness]

Nala frowned at his words, but nodded with a smile at the mention of dinner. “I would love that. I haven’t been up to a whole lot without you, but I promise I’ll make lively conversation regardless.” She grinned wide again before leaning up to kiss him softly on the cheek. “Don’t forget about me.” She added before turning away from him with a smirk and heading out of the room.

[flicktheinventor]

As she walked away, he couldn’t help watching her. No. No there was no chance of him forgetting her. He let out a long slow breath before he set an alarm so he could be sure to meet her for dinner. It was bound to be an interesting night.

[always-watching-always-blog]

“I’m glad you two can communicate effectively,” she deadpanned, smirking a little afterwards. As he continued she smiled a little, happiness twining with sadness in her chest. She was really going to miss him. “So what sort of pet do you think I should get? I haven’t found one that I’ve been…drawn to yet.”

[flicktheinventor]

Flick could still feel the blush staining his cheeks, but he tried to lower his hands and talk with her more normally. “Um, well, I’d say whatever pet does appeal to you when you start looking at the pet shop. I can see you with a cat. Or maybe a dog. A dog might be fun.”

[always-watching-always-blog]

“Sure. You might want to tell your girlfriend about it, though,” she snickered.

“…I’d still consider you a great friend. Great friends who aren’t good at being great friends.”

[flicktheinventor]

He hid his face before mumbling, “She knows. It’s fine.” But at her second comment he lowered his hands. “Yeah. That sounds about right.”