Just A Place For My Writing

Find my regular blog at flirtmcgirt.tumblr.com

[flirtmcgirtfics]

Feeling accomplished, finished my first short work in YEARS. If you’d like to read it, please check the tags. This is a sad and possibly triggering one.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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Alright, everything is back on ao3, minus a few one shots lost forever. Yes, even that one, the VHS fic of our collective nightmares. If you know, you know, and I apologize profusely. Happy reading?

https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlirtMcGirt/works

[flirtmcgirtfics]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

My baby is back online and I missed it ❤️ Is it weird to be proud of your own work? I always liked this one. This one is long finished, but I will be reviving some of my old WIPs when and if the spirit moves me.

[flirtmcgirtfics]

Smoke Em if You've Got Her (OLD, one shot)

Putting this back together was hell! If anyone knows how to easily take out html tags, please let me know. But I’m hoping once I get approved for ao3 again, that will make it easier. Let me know if you like this and if you prefer a03 or tumblr so I know what is best for the others.

Summary: Rae finds smoking annoying. Finn finds Rae annoying. Will they ever find common ground?

“Why do ya roll those rubbish things anyway? Isn’t it easier just to buy a packet?”

“Dunno,” Finn mumbled. “Just like em. Why? Want one?“ 

Rae wrinkled her nose. as she returned to her seat from the jukebox. "You’re the second person to try to get me smoking this week. What is it about me?" 

Great question, Finn thought sourly. He saw a loud gob full of opinions, that’s about all he could see. Except that piercing stare she had, like she was analyzing him. He didn’t know what the hell she wanted to find. Pints, music, footy, the pub. No mystery there. He didn’t suppose Rae Earl knew much about just wanting to be left alone to get on with things.

She did everything so…at top volume. He could hear her laughing clear across the pub when he went to get drinks, guzzled that snakebite the other day like no one he’d ever seen before, and she had absolutely zero poker face skills. He thought that was pretty funny, actually, the way her eyes widened and even her shoulders got in on the act. Sometimes he wound her up just to watch the outrage cascade across her features.

He, on the other hand, knew how to keep his cool. Finn barely registered her yammering away about how his lungs were being poisoned, and yellow nails, and Christ knew what else. Fine. She was getting to him a bit. Who wanted a lecture on holiday? He had to put a stop to this. 

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Finn got a firm hold of Rae’s shoulders. Taking advantage of the (mercifully) silent O of astonishment those flapping lips arranged themselves into, Finn let a lungful of smoke rip right into her mouth. "Don’t knock it until you try it,” he mocked, eagerly awaiting whatever nugget of derision was about to come his way. Catching Rae Earl off guard was quite exhilarating, he had to admit. 

Rae sat stone-faced, then brought her hand up to her lips, tracing a thumbnail across them, before jerking away as if she’d been burned. She rose abruptly, sending Archie’s pint sloshing across the table.

“Fucking hell, Rae! You’ve ruined my Rizlas!“ Finn protested. Rae merely fixed him with a stony gaze. "Maybe there’s a hair dryer in the ladies?” he begged. “Dry them out? I can’t have a smoke if they’re wet!" 

"Moron,” Rae huffed. “You absolute moron.” And off she stormed, with a haughty Finn trailing her. “It were just a joke, Rae, damn. Relax. I just wanted to shut you up a bit, is all. So uptight and I hardly know ya.”

“Exactly,“ Rae replied. "You don’t know me. So stop. I don’t like….surprises is all.”

“Cause you think you’re last word on everything,” Finn crabbed. Should’ve known better. Rae had no sense of humor – that was clear. 

“Right. I know it all. Totally in control. That’s me, all right,” Rae sneered. Finn didn’t feel like wasting a perfectly good retort. She wasn’t worth his time. 

“Look, Mae, just buy me a new pack from the bar and that’s the end of it.“ 

Rae shrugged, and he was suddenly struck by how weary she looked. It was true, all he knew about her was she could pick a good song. One good song, anyway. Maybe he should back off.

“Truce?” Rae asked as she tossed a new pack of Rizlas on the table. “Yeah, alright.“ But Finn chuckled as he saw the little cartoon skeleton symbol she’d sketched on the cardboard packaging. It was true. Rae definitely had to have the last word. 

——————————————

So he’d been wrong about Rae. Whatever. He wasn’t too proud to admit it. She could be pretty cool. She just had a, what d'ya call it? Facade. After that time he met her mum, Finn understood. You had to hold your own with a lady like that. 

But he’d seen a whole different girl at the party. Didn’t even judge him when he cried. No, Rae wasn’t like other girls. She liked records and swearing and didn’t get manicures. God, Stacey used to make him sit and wait for ages while she got those French things. Rae’s nails were a proper mess. She was currently gnawing at them while Chop went on and on about the vault and the rave.

Who cared about some rave? Chop was just trying to impress Izzy anyway. Terrible idea. Izzy was sweet, but the kind of girl who shouted out the word during a game of Catchphrase. She couldn’t keep a secret.

“Hey,” he whispered to Rae. “Don’t let Chop annoy you. "He’s more random than duck shite sometimes."

"Oh, dear God,” Rae said, with a horrified gaze.

“What? Finn really didn’t understand her sometimes. Come to think of it, Chloe had been acting pretty bonkers herself. Maybe they were fighting or something. Girl stuff - like he needed to know.

Rae shook her head, reached over, grabbed one of his Rizlas, and began shredding it. Once the first was torn to bits, she snagged another. SORRY Rae sketched in wispy letters, the curve of the Y trailing off into a smoke-like curlicue.

"S'alright, I have more.” Finn tried to reassure her, tracing her denim-clad leg, but the tension never lessened. Trying to figure out Rae was one step forward, 3 steps back for sure. But he couldn’t stop trying lately. He’d always liked a good puzzle.

-—————————————-

“If my mum catches me drunk, she’ll freak! Wedding or no wedding!”

“That’s why I brought you to mine, you numpty. My dad won’t be home for hours.”

Uhoh. Was that too forward? Finn didn’t mean it like that. Rae was his,.his something. They weren’t just friends anymore, but they weren’t in love or anything. He was, but she didn’t say it back, so? But she didn’t run away screaming either. What was next? He really did suck at words.

Do you wanna put that down?” Finn asked with a nod towards the book clutched in her hand. 

Wrong thing. You’re an idiot. Don’t ever bring that book up. It did seem pretty important, though. He was in it, which made him a little giddy, if he was being honest. 

Rae placed her diary on the end table as they sat on the couch, but kept a wary eye on the book in the way one would a poisonous snake. “Ah, fuck!”she exclaimed suddenly. "I messed up."

Finn raised his eyebrows questioningly as she explained "Nobody knew that was my diary before. I could bring to the pub, no one cared. Now everyone knows why I have it. “Oh, what’s happened? Rae’s got her mental book.”

Well, we’ll just have to think of something else.” Finn didn’t know what made ‘we’ come out, but he liked it. His insides felt like they were glowing a bit. He thought for a minute, then grabbed a pen and a rolling paper. “Tell me something you hate,”Finn ordered. 

"Smoking!" “Besides that,” Finn encouraged. 

“Black licorice,” Rae said with a giggle.

“Retch. Who doesn’t?” Finn agreed. He scrawled the words on the paper, sprinkled in the tobacco, rolled and lit it. “The problems of Rae Earl, turned to ash.” Finn pronounced. “I’ll smoke em if you got them." 

“You’re ridiculous,” Rae said, but Finn could see the corners of her mouth twitching.

——————————-

“You’re sure they’re staying the night at the hospital?”

“I promise,“ Rae said. "Now pass the spliff, God. You worry too much." 

“Bad enough if she catches me stoned off my head, but if she finds out I deflowered her only child?” Finn shook his head in mock fear. “Please never use the word 'deflowered’ around me again,” Rae joked, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She snuggled closer to Finn. 

“Hey,” she whispered, lips grazing his ear. “Finn.” No response. Sex was pretty tiring, especially for a whole seven minutes. Even sex wizards had to rest sometimes. Grabbing a Rizla, Rae scrawled what Finn had been too tuckered out to hear, before laying back with the joint. 

Shielding her eyes from the sun, Rae groaned. “Now is that any way to greet someone you say you love?” an entirely too chipper Finn remarked. So mean.“ She didn’t even mind the little specks of tobacco clinging to his tongue. The morning breath? That was another story. 

——————-

I can’t do this, Finn argued to himself. I’m not ready. Butt clenched between his teeth, he paced the same carpet path he’d been going over for 45 minutes now. What if I fail her? I’m not very handy. We hardly have anything saved! He flicked his cigarette into the nearby sink, immediately reaching for another paper. Not going to be able to pace myself today. Then his features softened. Of course. She really did know everything. 

 No fear.

We’re a team. 

Your ass is mine. Forever. And what an ass it is. 

I love you.

She’d left a message on every one. Finn marveled as he sparked his lighter, but a hand came swooping in. “No time, mate. They’ve finished seating. Wait til you see Rae’s dress-Chloe let me take a peek." Finn let Archie straighten his tie one last time before they headed through the church doors. 

———————– 

“I’m not doing it! Shouldn’t you be?”

“I I can’t believe you, Finn! I never took you for sexist.“ 

“You know I’m not!” Finn said. “It’s not a mother-daughter thing, it’s a hypocrite thing." 

“What, because we used to smoke pot?” Rae asked. “Mmmm, yeah, I don’t care about that shit. I care about raising a kid with some smarts. At least enough smarts not to get caught."

“Oh, right. Like that time Karim definitely didn’t catch you at anything,” Finn teased. 

“Well, at least I didn’t leave my papers tucked into the pillowcase my mum still changes, even though I’m 14 bloody years old! And the stash under the bed. So unoriginal.“ 

Finn snickered. "Does she know you know?

 "Well, I wrote BUSTED on every last paper and sprinkled them on the blanket.“ 

“Thank god you’re not my mum, is all I can say. She’ll be out of school in 20 minutes, so I suppose we wait. Think there’s anything in there to take the edge off?”

“You’re a dickhead, Finn Nelson.“

“Thank you, Mrs. Dickhead. God, I hate being old." 

“It’s literally the worst,” Rae agreed. “Now let’s go have a cuddle before Cheech gets here.”

[flirtmcgirt]

Closer to Fine

Um, hi, it’s been a really long time! *taps pencil * Is this thing on? Is the MMFD fandom here? Have you tried unplugging it, plugging it back in, and listening to Oasis (don’t think about those £500 tickets you missed out on. I did too)?

Ahem. Anyway. I used to write stuff. It was, alright? I guess? Your opinion may vary. I haven’t written in at least 5 years, but MMFD has been comforting me in my hours of need and boredom, so I got the urge to try again. So Here’s A Thing. Is it good? Idk. Will I continue it? Idk. I have a child yanking on my pants leg as i type (my roommate’s) so a lot has changed! Whatever! Let’s goooo! @lilaviolet , this is for you!

The newest 16-year-old resident of Stamford, Renee Sayers, already has summer plans: bed rotting and watching TikTok. But a family split has changed everything, and mom Rae wants her out of the house and thriving again. Music camp it is, then. Yawn.

And I hate all my clothes

Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones

So I guess I should go

The party's done, and I'm no fun, I know, I-

“OW!” Another pothole? Great. What the hell kind of place were they moving to, anyway, Renee thought. Not that it really mattered, everywhere felt the same the last few years.

“God, mom, who taught you to drive?”

“Your grandfather, actually, which explains a lot.” Renee could tell by the way Rae’s nose screwed up she meant Grandpa Victor, not Grandpa Karim. Renee didn’t even know he existed apart from the back pages of the old photo album. Didn’t matter. She wasn’t about to have a heart-to-heart in this smelly moving van.

I always preferred walking anyway, “ Rae continued. She stifled a laugh at Renee’s confusion. “Were you too cheap for Uber?”

“No, they didn’t-look. You will be for a while, you know that, right? Until we get settled in?” Renee did know, and she hated it, but she wasn’t dumb. She knew money was tight. They hadn’t planned on moving, and her dad wasn’t sending the payments. It fucked her up to think about it too much, how fast things changed. How fast people changed.

It was the same old story for everyone: stay inside, essentials only. Kind of scary obviously, Renee thought. But also no rules. Her mom was too busy on Zoom trying to teach the Year 5s, same with her dad downstairs typing away. So if she wanted to watch trash tv in the background of her lessons and sneak a beer afterwards, fuck it. Everything was going to hell, right?

Renee cringed thinking that. She hadn’t known what hell was. As time wore on, her friends stopped texting as much, the shadows under her mom’s eyes got darker, her dad spent more and more time on his nature walks. Still, everything had to get better. She’d been so naive.

The day her parents sat her down at the table and her dad started his halting, obviously practiced speech was the beginning of the bottom really falling out.

Times like these make you reevaluate..sometimes life throws challenges..I will always love you..

It made Renee sick, what a cop out. Like they weren’t all dealing with something unexpected and terrible. Once she’d heard Grandma Linda call him the jellyfish, and now she understood why. Renee had thought that was the worst thing that could happen, until her mom took to her bed and wouldn’t get out.

Renee did everything she could, getting Mom to practice breathing exercises from the meditation apps, talk therapy, cooking the meals. Sometimes Rae said stuff Renee didn’t understand. Like the day Rae asked if her father was keeping in touch and Renee admitted he wasn’t. “I tried,” Rae said. “I tried so damn hard not to repeat this”, and stared sullenly at the wall. It made Renee’s stomach churn, but the night of the dry shampoo was worse. Her mom didn’t want to shower, so she thought it’d help, but Rae just laughed and laughed. “God, if they’d had this back then.” Renee didn’t know, no one told her much about those days.

Her mom liked to say “I met your dad, had you and now we’re here. That’s the best life, kid.” Now that one of the pieces was gone, life was out of control. Renee was terrified, but Rae kept having her sessions and things slowly got better.

They laughed again eventually, things got easier, but Rae seemed restless. So it wasn’t a total surprise that day over breakfast 6 months ago when the newscasters were talking about a new normal that Rae paused the DVR.

“How would you feel about moving? Maybe we need a new normal, too.”

“Move where?” Renee asked. She would miss her friends, but these days everyone acted differently. They mostly texted anyway.”

“Well, Grandma’s about fed up with trying to keep renters in these days. We could go back to the house?”

Excuse me? Stamford. Uh, no. Did they even have more than one pub?

Rae laughed at her daughter’s pout. “I know, really, I do. But a fresh start might be good for you. It’s been a hard time.” Renee knew her mom wasn’t only talking about her. “Plus they’re desperate for teachers, it’s less competitive there.”

Now here they were. “Is there anything cool to do during the summer,” Renee asked.

“Yes, hang out with your mum, keep her company until school starts.”

Renee swatted Rae, “I was thinking the pub, if there’s a cool one.”

“Mmm, I don’t know if it’s still there, I think they turned it into one of those chains with the test tube drinks and cover charges, last I heard.” Mother and daughter scrunched their faces up simultaneously.

“Well, glad there’s TikTok, then. I need to find my look before college. Aunt Chloe says the matte look is back. Like, move forward in time,” Renee scoffed.

“No, she’s right,” Rae said. “I saw the displays at the chemists. But forget it. There’s only one bathroom, and you’re not hogging my mirror all summer. Besides, I don’t want you cramping my style all summer. It was work getting that money from your father. We’re spending it.”

Renee was stuck on the one bathroom tragedy, so it didn’t click at first. “You talked to dad?” She spoke gently, afraid to awaken any emotion in her mother. Rae was doing amazing, but Renee would do anything to keep her feeling that way.

“Yes, and he agrees with me. No bed rot. Remember that guitar Archie got you? I fished it out your closet. You used to be so good! We loved your little recitals!”

“No. What! 10, I was 10. You can’t be serious!”

—————————

Renee always heard her mom’s friends say how her mom was always so funny. A week later, this didn’t feel funny at all, unless the joke was on her. Music camp?! She was an alright singer she supposed, after a few drinks, but who isn’t. The guitar, though? Anyway, here’s Wonderwall? Please.

I just have to get through the next few weeks, she thought, letting the cheap department store guitar accidentally clap against the car door. A boy ahead of her winced, then grinned.

“Jesus Christ, my dad will go absolutely mental, don’t let him hear. I personally don’t give a shit myself, don’t much care about music. But he’s the teacher.”

“You don’t like any music? What the fuck?” Renee had never heard of that, which would’ve rattled her enough, but even worse, he was the absolute fittest boy she’d ever seen. Dimples, cute smile.

She snapped out of it, hearing her mom yell “Renee, you apologize for your mouth!”, immediately followed by “Liam, we just got here. Don’t wind people up. They’ve paid.” A lanky Liam clone began exiting the car (well, if Liam hadn’t been able to sleep for 5 years and ate a little too much bacon,) Renee thought uncharitably.

“Liam?” Rae sneered, but with a hint of a laugh behind it. “Now you’re winding me up!”

“Aye, Liam Gallagher, the greatest!”

Renee looked between them in confusion, with Liam muttering, “Who the hell is that?” and the stranger looped a friendly arm around her mom’s waist.

I don’t know WHAT the fuck is going on with any of these weirdos, least of all my mum, Renee thought.

She sighed wearily as she reached for her suitcase. “Tell me there’s internet here.”

[flirtmcgirtfics]

I meant to post this here. Hey @lilaviolet does this thing work? I haven’t side sideblogged in 85 years