Putting this back together was hell! If anyone knows how to easily take out html tags, please let me know. But I’m hoping once I get approved for ao3 again, that will make it easier. Let me know if you like this and if you prefer a03 or tumblr so I know what is best for the others.
Summary: Rae finds smoking annoying. Finn finds Rae annoying. Will they ever find common ground?
“Why do ya roll those rubbish things anyway? Isn’t it easier just to buy a packet?”
“Dunno,” Finn mumbled. “Just like em. Why? Want one?“
Rae wrinkled her nose. as she returned to her seat from the jukebox. "You’re the second person to try to get me smoking this week. What is it about me?"
Great question, Finn thought sourly. He saw a loud gob full of opinions, that’s about all he could see. Except that piercing stare she had, like she was analyzing him. He didn’t know what the hell she wanted to find. Pints, music, footy, the pub. No mystery there. He didn’t suppose Rae Earl knew much about just wanting to be left alone to get on with things.
She did everything so…at top volume. He could hear her laughing clear across the pub when he went to get drinks, guzzled that snakebite the other day like no one he’d ever seen before, and she had absolutely zero poker face skills. He thought that was pretty funny, actually, the way her eyes widened and even her shoulders got in on the act. Sometimes he wound her up just to watch the outrage cascade across her features.
He, on the other hand, knew how to keep his cool. Finn barely registered her yammering away about how his lungs were being poisoned, and yellow nails, and Christ knew what else. Fine. She was getting to him a bit. Who wanted a lecture on holiday? He had to put a stop to this.
Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Finn got a firm hold of Rae’s shoulders. Taking advantage of the (mercifully) silent O of astonishment those flapping lips arranged themselves into, Finn let a lungful of smoke rip right into her mouth. "Don’t knock it until you try it,” he mocked, eagerly awaiting whatever nugget of derision was about to come his way. Catching Rae Earl off guard was quite exhilarating, he had to admit.
Rae sat stone-faced, then brought her hand up to her lips, tracing a thumbnail across them, before jerking away as if she’d been burned. She rose abruptly, sending Archie’s pint sloshing across the table.
“Fucking hell, Rae! You’ve ruined my Rizlas!“ Finn protested. Rae merely fixed him with a stony gaze. "Maybe there’s a hair dryer in the ladies?” he begged. “Dry them out? I can’t have a smoke if they’re wet!"
"Moron,” Rae huffed. “You absolute moron.” And off she stormed, with a haughty Finn trailing her. “It were just a joke, Rae, damn. Relax. I just wanted to shut you up a bit, is all. So uptight and I hardly know ya.”
“Exactly,“ Rae replied. "You don’t know me. So stop. I don’t like….surprises is all.”
“Cause you think you’re last word on everything,” Finn crabbed. Should’ve known better. Rae had no sense of humor – that was clear.
“Right. I know it all. Totally in control. That’s me, all right,” Rae sneered. Finn didn’t feel like wasting a perfectly good retort. She wasn’t worth his time.
“Look, Mae, just buy me a new pack from the bar and that’s the end of it.“
Rae shrugged, and he was suddenly struck by how weary she looked. It was true, all he knew about her was she could pick a good song. One good song, anyway. Maybe he should back off.
“Truce?” Rae asked as she tossed a new pack of Rizlas on the table. “Yeah, alright.“ But Finn chuckled as he saw the little cartoon skeleton symbol she’d sketched on the cardboard packaging. It was true. Rae definitely had to have the last word.
——————————————
So he’d been wrong about Rae. Whatever. He wasn’t too proud to admit it. She could be pretty cool. She just had a, what d'ya call it? Facade. After that time he met her mum, Finn understood. You had to hold your own with a lady like that.
But he’d seen a whole different girl at the party. Didn’t even judge him when he cried. No, Rae wasn’t like other girls. She liked records and swearing and didn’t get manicures. God, Stacey used to make him sit and wait for ages while she got those French things. Rae’s nails were a proper mess. She was currently gnawing at them while Chop went on and on about the vault and the rave.
Who cared about some rave? Chop was just trying to impress Izzy anyway. Terrible idea. Izzy was sweet, but the kind of girl who shouted out the word during a game of Catchphrase. She couldn’t keep a secret.
“Hey,” he whispered to Rae. “Don’t let Chop annoy you. "He’s more random than duck shite sometimes."
"Oh, dear God,” Rae said, with a horrified gaze.
“What? Finn really didn’t understand her sometimes. Come to think of it, Chloe had been acting pretty bonkers herself. Maybe they were fighting or something. Girl stuff - like he needed to know.
Rae shook her head, reached over, grabbed one of his Rizlas, and began shredding it. Once the first was torn to bits, she snagged another. SORRY Rae sketched in wispy letters, the curve of the Y trailing off into a smoke-like curlicue.
"S'alright, I have more.” Finn tried to reassure her, tracing her denim-clad leg, but the tension never lessened. Trying to figure out Rae was one step forward, 3 steps back for sure. But he couldn’t stop trying lately. He’d always liked a good puzzle.
-—————————————-
“If my mum catches me drunk, she’ll freak! Wedding or no wedding!”
“That’s why I brought you to mine, you numpty. My dad won’t be home for hours.”
Uhoh. Was that too forward? Finn didn’t mean it like that. Rae was his,.his something. They weren’t just friends anymore, but they weren’t in love or anything. He was, but she didn’t say it back, so? But she didn’t run away screaming either. What was next? He really did suck at words.
Do you wanna put that down?” Finn asked with a nod towards the book clutched in her hand.
Wrong thing. You’re an idiot. Don’t ever bring that book up. It did seem pretty important, though. He was in it, which made him a little giddy, if he was being honest.
Rae placed her diary on the end table as they sat on the couch, but kept a wary eye on the book in the way one would a poisonous snake. “Ah, fuck!”she exclaimed suddenly. "I messed up."
Finn raised his eyebrows questioningly as she explained "Nobody knew that was my diary before. I could bring to the pub, no one cared. Now everyone knows why I have it. “Oh, what’s happened? Rae’s got her mental book.”
Well, we’ll just have to think of something else.” Finn didn’t know what made ‘we’ come out, but he liked it. His insides felt like they were glowing a bit. He thought for a minute, then grabbed a pen and a rolling paper. “Tell me something you hate,”Finn ordered.
"Smoking!" “Besides that,” Finn encouraged.
“Black licorice,” Rae said with a giggle.
“Retch. Who doesn’t?” Finn agreed. He scrawled the words on the paper, sprinkled in the tobacco, rolled and lit it. “The problems of Rae Earl, turned to ash.” Finn pronounced. “I’ll smoke em if you got them."
“You’re ridiculous,” Rae said, but Finn could see the corners of her mouth twitching.
——————————-
“You’re sure they’re staying the night at the hospital?”
“I promise,“ Rae said. "Now pass the spliff, God. You worry too much."
“Bad enough if she catches me stoned off my head, but if she finds out I deflowered her only child?” Finn shook his head in mock fear. “Please never use the word 'deflowered’ around me again,” Rae joked, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She snuggled closer to Finn.
“Hey,” she whispered, lips grazing his ear. “Finn.” No response. Sex was pretty tiring, especially for a whole seven minutes. Even sex wizards had to rest sometimes. Grabbing a Rizla, Rae scrawled what Finn had been too tuckered out to hear, before laying back with the joint.
Shielding her eyes from the sun, Rae groaned. “Now is that any way to greet someone you say you love?” an entirely too chipper Finn remarked. So mean.“ She didn’t even mind the little specks of tobacco clinging to his tongue. The morning breath? That was another story.
——————-
I can’t do this, Finn argued to himself. I’m not ready. Butt clenched between his teeth, he paced the same carpet path he’d been going over for 45 minutes now. What if I fail her? I’m not very handy. We hardly have anything saved! He flicked his cigarette into the nearby sink, immediately reaching for another paper. Not going to be able to pace myself today. Then his features softened. Of course. She really did know everything.
No fear.
We’re a team.
Your ass is mine. Forever. And what an ass it is.
I love you.
She’d left a message on every one. Finn marveled as he sparked his lighter, but a hand came swooping in. “No time, mate. They’ve finished seating. Wait til you see Rae’s dress-Chloe let me take a peek." Finn let Archie straighten his tie one last time before they headed through the church doors.
———————–
“I’m not doing it! Shouldn’t you be?”
“I I can’t believe you, Finn! I never took you for sexist.“
“You know I’m not!” Finn said. “It’s not a mother-daughter thing, it’s a hypocrite thing."
“What, because we used to smoke pot?” Rae asked. “Mmmm, yeah, I don’t care about that shit. I care about raising a kid with some smarts. At least enough smarts not to get caught."
“Oh, right. Like that time Karim definitely didn’t catch you at anything,” Finn teased.
“Well, at least I didn’t leave my papers tucked into the pillowcase my mum still changes, even though I’m 14 bloody years old! And the stash under the bed. So unoriginal.“
Finn snickered. "Does she know you know?
"Well, I wrote BUSTED on every last paper and sprinkled them on the blanket.“
“Thank god you’re not my mum, is all I can say. She’ll be out of school in 20 minutes, so I suppose we wait. Think there’s anything in there to take the edge off?”
“You’re a dickhead, Finn Nelson.“
“Thank you, Mrs. Dickhead. God, I hate being old."
“It’s literally the worst,” Rae agreed. “Now let’s go have a cuddle before Cheech gets here.”
MMFD Fanfic Round Up Omnibus Edition: March - November 2019
Long time no see! *coughs guiltily*
I’m not going to apologize, but here’s some fic! (Okay, the truth is that I kept hoping I’d have something of my own to list in the round up, but I have to just suck it up, post the backlog, and get my arse in gear with writing.)
Since it’s been an age, there is a good chance I’ve missed something, a story, a new author, or a new place to post fic. It’s easier for me to focus on Tumblr offerings, but let me know if I’ve left something out (wherever it may be) and I’ll update the post.
Mega thanks to those writers keeping the fandom alive, and Happy Holidays to all!
@flirtmcgirt -- Make It a Double Pt. 1 - Close to You Pt. 2 (FYI, flirtmcgirt has announced a fic retirement, so please don’t message her for additional chapters or updates.)
@kneekeyta -- a bit like love - by the way - Prompt “Am I your lock screen?” - Sleep Tight - Caught in the Dark - “boyfriend” - the good, the bad, and everything in between - Beautiful Illusion Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4 - Pt. 5 - Pt. 6 - Pt. 7 - Pt. 8 - Broken Hearts & Broken Windows - Secrets in the Dark - Unlocking Secrets Pt. 11
@lurkernolonger -- Alright - Getting Kinda Used to Being Someone You Love
@mariamirallegro -- Yes Ch. 4
@peterjakes -- The Two Months Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4
@rockinthebeastmode -- Casual Affair - Prompt ER Date - Prompt “Why are you awake?” - Mess Around
@theclacordeiro -- You Are the Music in Me Pt. 1 - Pt. 2
Me and Amanda finally arrived at school and she's already the main attraction. Amanda is like everyone could define as their biggest dreams. Flowing ebony hair, athletic, the leader of the cheerleaders and obviously, she's the apple of everyone's eyes. I used to worship her, like everyone did, but now, after two years together, I'm finally seeing how mean and horrible she can really be. The worst part is that I hate what I'm when I'm with her, for everyone here in this school, I'm just the most popular guy in the school, the lucky bastard who can get on Amanda's Wayne knickers. But deep down, I know I'm more than just this stupid label, and I have to do something for them recognise me for who I'm, but I really don't know what.
"Oh god, look at those nerds, probably they've never kissed a girl before". She laughed, making me roll my eyes.
"Whatever, they are probably busy with something else". I said, placing some books on my locker.
"Aw such a grumpy lad". Amanda caressed my arm.
"I'm sorry" I closed the locker. "Is just… I hate going back to school. It's sucks Mandy". I sighed.
"What can I do to make you feel better?" She whispered, placing kisses on my neck. God, if she keeps kissing me like this, I'll get a stiff right here in the middle of the corridor, oh fuck.
"If you keep kissing me like this, I won't last longer". I groaned.
"So, what about if you come to mine? my parents gonna be working until 8". She told, as she places her arms around my neck.
"I don't know Mandy, I have to practice, the auditions will be coming soon". I told her.
"But you are already good, no one compares to you baby" She caressed my arm gently. "Please, I missed you. Being in Amsterdam without you was horrible".
Although she was so mean, I knew how much she supports me to follow my dreams. I think that I'll always be grateful for this part of her, the part where I can see that she still being the same Amanda that I fallen in love with so many years ago.
"I'll only going with two conditions" I stepped closer to her. "One: you'll wear that lace set that makes me crazy about". I whisper, kissing the way down to her neck. "Two: That you let me please you as much as I want" I kiss her lips hungry.
"A bit of lace and you going down on me? How on earth am I supposed to blow this off?" Amanda comments, with a wide grin on her face.
And then, some time later, I got some free time before class and I'll use it to choose new songs to practice while I waited for Amanda. The auditions on University of Liverpool it's in about 2 months and there still a lot to practice. As I was going to the library, I heard the most beautiful song I've ever heard. It was coming from the music class, it was someone playing the cello so nicely that it was thrilling. The door was ajar by a few inches, which was enough for me to peck inside. There playing, was a girl, with short curly hair, rose cheeks, who glided smoothly the arch on the iron strings as she played the 5th Beethoven symphony. The soft music notes flowing in the air, the goosebumps each right note gives. It was perfect, brilliant in a way that I've never seen before. As she finished playing, she then glanced up. She was as beautiful as the song she played.
"Wow!" I came into the classroom, clapping my hands. "You were amazing" I compliment, looking at her confused face. "Sorry, I'm…"
"Carter Nelson, everyone here knows who you are" She said, while she placed her cello on the case. "What do you want? you want to take the piss out of me?".
"No, no! Of course not" I denied hard. "I just think you were sound".
She narrowed her eyes at me, clearly don't believing in what I was saying.
"Thanks, I've been practicing a lot" she huffed a laugh.
As I was going to ask for her name, her phone rings, interrupting me.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go now" She said, placing her backpack on her shoulders. So she smirked and then leaves, leaving a trail of her sweet perfume for behind. How am I supposed to forget her sound? the way she looks… God, I think I'm in trouble.
Here’s something, don’t ask me when it is. Or how it started. Long time no see MMFD fandom ✌🏼
P.s I know I’ve got other works not completed. I got bored easily, didn’t feel my fan fic writing was exciting enough. This shit is hard, but every now and then I come back and have a snoop xoxo
Title: One Shot Wonder
(Insert) - this has nothing to do with the main story line, only the main characters.
Rae POV:
Fucking rain again. One day, I just needed one day of sunshine in this shitbox of a town. But, of course, Stamford new how to kick me up the rear when going gets tough. Why I chose to stay here was beyond me, I would rather be living it up in a city somewhere on the other side of the country. Actually, fuck this continent, take me somewhere else. Anywhere else.. Well, right now anyway.
Yeah, I’ve had a bad day. The day Oasis release their reunion album - on vinyl only! Is the day my car decides to shit itself, and the clouds open up and piss all over my already bad day. So now here I am trudging through the puddles that have collectively grouped together, (I swear just for me), just to get my copy before it’s sold out. Stamford is a small town, Jono told me Thursday that they were only getting a limited amount of copies and that he had lots of interest in them already. I ain’t missing out. Even if that means being cold, shitty, and wet like rag doll. I’m getting my hands on a copy.
If only you had taken finn up on his offer the other day.
My subconscious snaps. Or really I should say my inner bitch. I imagine her as a tall, thin blonde, with banging legs and a great rack. All the things I’m not. But hey, she does look great cracking the whip and lighting a fire up my ass when I over think shit.
Like with Finn, a gorgeous man barking up the wrong tree. Well, I think he’s barking up my tree. He’s sweet, and broody. A total god from his head to his toes. He’s asked to do things with me, and go places but I shut down completely when I’m around him. My intelligent brain turns to complete moosh, and I blush like a bloody beetroot. All red and clammy, total suttering mess. And still he call me girl, and the odd ‘love’.
I shake my head. I’m over thinking once again, he’s just being polite. I must just keep him entertained, I mean my mouth has a mind of its own. Yap, yap, yap. When I’m not stuttering. He smiles, laughs, and gives feed back. Comfortable... Just friends. Yeah, that’s it. Friends.
I stepped over another puddle, only to side step into another. Nice going Rae, you’ll look like a wet noodle by the time you arrive at the record store. Scare all the customers away, then I can get my hands on that sweet, sweet candy. I was another 5 blocks away atleast, down Lane drive until I reach Sturt Avenue, which of course leads to Main Street. Which oldly enough hosts 80% of the shops around this cramped town. It was only just before 8am, close enough to their open time to make me panic and pick up speed.
I didn’t hear them at first. I was to focused on getting to the shop to register what was happening around me. When I felt the pull on my arm did I then realise someone was trying to get my attention, in a very informal way. I stopped, and moved way from the touch immediately. “Calm down darl. Didn’t you here me calling ya name?” Of course my day just had to get worse.
Liam was there looking a little bit disheveled but otherwise clean. He had become a lot more rounder around the middle since I had seen him last. His face aged beyond his years, it had been nearly 10 years since I hooked up with him in freshman year at a college in Leeds. It was not pleasant and I was very drunk. I blame Chloe, and Izzy, and chop, and Archie for that night. They practical poured the liquor down my throat all night, my 18th birthday. I was the baby of the group, even though I didn’t look like it. I started when I was only 17, high grades in high school allowed me to graduate early.
Chloe, also a freshman, or aka the queen of the gang. Blonde, skinny, wealthy and an absolutely sweetheart. She looks like she drags her fingernails down a chalkboard for a living, and trust me she has her moods. But she has been my best friend for 10 years. Izzy, a bubbly little petite ginger and also a freshman. Chop, who was a senior was a typical textbook “clown”, and had a wickedly dirty mouth. I think my then virginal ears use to bleed back then. Archie, my beautiful boy. Gay and as sexy as hell, in a I’m in love with a nerd sort of way. My crush on him lasted 2 weeks when we first met. Until he drunkenly let it slip on our ‘first date’ I just laughed and popped the top button on my jeans there was no need for me to remain uncomfortable anymore. Then there was finn, who arrived at our school in his senior year, when I was a junior. He was hot, broody and a total jock. Not that he acted that way. No he was an old soul.
Izzy and Chop got married 2 years ago, stayed in Leeds and started a family. One baby, a adorable peach fuzzy little boy named Timmy. Chloe married a screenwriter named johnathon 5 years ago, they both moved to London together straight after university. They are a beautiful couple, who would rather share dogs and careers, than a baby. Archie is dating a handsome man by the name of Eric, nearly coming up a year. Currently traveling Europe, destination Italy. I got a postcard the other day. Finn and I decided to both move back to Stamford after university, I more so for my mum who was still of a bitter old women since my dad walked out, and lonely non the less. Finn graduated with a business degree, and I majored in English literature. He opened a small mechanic shop, east of Main Street. He even went back to school to earn his trade as an auto technician so he could do most of the work himself. And I, I brought the old book shop, and on the side I do some free lancing writing for different publishers. We both sit quite pretty these days.
“Jesus Rae, you looking a bit wet there love. Didn’t know you would be that happy to see me” Liam tried to joke. Failing miserably, but not noticing I couldn’t give a fuck because he was to obsorbed in himself and what he said. I had known Liam since I was 5, but only by name and face, not until university that is. And ever since then whenever he sees me he will always, always try to get my attention. I didn’t see him very often, but he was hard to shake off.
“Is there something you needed Liam? I’m kind of in a rush and...” I was cut of mid sentence by obnoxious snort from liam. His whole demeanour changed. He became tight and Ridget, his jaw squared and now he was sporting a pretty pissed off scowl. Wow, that’s different.
“Ya always have some excuse don’t cha Rae. I’m only trying to be nice to ya, but your always mugging me off, making me look like a twit” he spat with distain, I stepped back further until I didn’t care that I was standing directly in a puddle. I just wanted distance. But that didn’t work. I was suddenly pushed up against an old bus stop, scared and fucking mad.
“Liam get off me! I will scream if you do not let me go right now!” I sounded panicked but that was only because I was petrified. This had never happened to me, willingly or otherwise.
“Oh shut up you dumb whore. Ya should I should of just taken ya that night. Yan were so ready for me” he breathed in my face and That’s when I smelt the beer on his breath, and notice how bloodshot is eyes truely were. He was drunk, the bastard is out of his fucking mind and drunk
“I will scream if you do not let me go. I will defend myself, so fuck off” I tugged my left hand out of his grip, which he had pinned against the glass. I then through my left elbow directly into his face. The momentum of the elbow dazed Liam and he went stumbling back as he clutched his jaw in pain. I was now successful free from his hold. I kicked him straight in the dick and watched the big guy fall. Acting like a total pansy, crying and swearing, and that made me happy. I kicked him again, this time in the stomach - just for good measure.
“You think it’s O-fucking-Kay to grab me or anyone else like that you dirty Bastard!” Kick! “I’ve had a fucking, shit morning and now here you are to make it even worse” kick! “You ever come near me or if you even think about me or communicating with me in any way again I will chop your dick off and feed it to you” kick! I backed up a bit more when Liam started to pull himself off the ground, slowly but surely. So, maybe I wasn’t being as rough with him as I though I was.
Running seemed cowardly, but even with my epic fit just moments ago it didn’t get anyone’s attention, I didn’t want to be alone with this maniac. Run.
“Oh no you fucking don’t” crunch! I spun around just in time to see Liam practically melt to the ground, and Finn shaking his fist. Finn! Where did he come from? “Rae! Rae, are you alright? Are you hurt?” He was panting slightly, and once again my brain turned to moosh. “Are you in shock?” I shook my head, and he relaxed slightly.
“Finn- uh, where- where were you?” I stuttered. “I always go for a run before I’m off to the shop, this is my route, I just happened to be coming around the corner to see you kicking the shit out of him” he pointed to Liam’s unconscious body “I thought you’d be alright but when you tried to get away, he tried to grab you again. So I did the only thing I could think of” he blushed, he actually fucking blushed.
“Thanks. I-I, thank you” I was glad that the rain had decided to let up at that point. Whilst I looked like a drowned rat, he on the other hand looked amazing. Slightly pink cheeks from the run, a beanie firmly in place of his head. His waterproof rain jacket look shinny from the water droplets, and mine started to squelch every time I moved -perfect.
“That’s alright. Where were you off to? In the rain” he looked puzzled, well until I explained to him what has happened throughout my crap-sastic morning.
“I would of done the same thing, maybe if it was blur” he cheekily replied. “Look I live honestly 3 houses down” he pointed to a lovely red brick house “I know you said you didn’t need a ride, but do you really want to walk the rest of the way after what just happened?” He questioned and I evaluated in my head whether it was a good idea or not.
Liam let out a small grown and I practically leaped off the ground and moved further away from his body. I was scared, I didn’t want to take the chance of this happening again. “I’ll take up your offer thank you” I nodded and smiled.
“Finally!” He murmured.
“Wha- what do you mean finally?”
“Are you really that oblivious, Rae?” I nodded. “I’ve had a crush on you for the last 6 years, and in those 6 years I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to do something with you, or offer for me to take you somewhere, and you always turn me down. In a Rae kind of way” I shrugged it off, but I could tell that I really hurt him. I had a small inkling that he was interesting but in all fairness, I never in a million years thought it was true. I just thought he was being polite.
“I’m sorry” I murmured.
“Me too. I should of just told you how I felt, I was a coward.”
We walked side by side over to his house, leaving Liam still laying on the pavement where he belonged. Today has been a total unexpected shock.
“Do you wanna go out with me? Do you want to, like, do something today or tonight? With me. Of course, like as a date?” Oh, he was nervous and It was so cute to see.
“Yes I would. I’m a bit wet though, and don’t you have work?”
“I’m the boss, I choose my own times. Plus Barry is already working, I’m sure he will do fine by himself. I’ll give him a ring when I get inside. And I’m also sure we can swing by your house after the record shop so you can get into some dry clothes. I’d offer to go by your house first if I didn’t know you better, but I knew you’d never go for it after you see the time.”
8:13am FUCK!!
I marched fast over to the passenger door and waited what felt like a whole year for Finn up run inside and get his keys, opting to stay in his running gear. We jumped in the car and he started the ignition.
“Ready girl?” He turned to look at me. I swear he meant more then just ‘are you ready to go to the shop’, no this felt more personal, special even. I smiled because yes I was ready.
“Of course. Lead the way and I’ll follow”
—
They lived happily ever after - together!
The end
This was not edited. I wrote this in a few hours. So it probably total garbage, but that’s Ohkay :)
dance, little sister - an mmfd fanfic (of sorts) #25
So, the Chloe’s sister thing. It’s not what I imagined but it’s the best I could do. These things are far more detailed and elaborate in my head. I wish you could see.
If you’ve seen all my other whiny posts about this thing you’ll be aware of the back history/head canon bullshit that was the mess in my head. Whether any of it made it’s way in to the finished product is debatable but it has influenced it I feel. Anyway, after all my whinging, and a million different versions, I typed this straight into the box this morning. No one’s seen it but me.
The title is from the Terence Trent D’arby song of the same name (ask your nan). Not sure it really applies but once I thought of it, I couldn’t get it out of my head.
Whatever, at least I don’t have to think about it anymore.
dance, little sister
The grass is cool and damp under her bare feet and it’s still early enough for there to be birdsong.
She hadn’t really been asleep when Bethany’s best friend Hannah had pulled up outside the house and she was already putting on her dressing gown and reaching for the small elaborately wrapped package from her beside table drawer when her sister’s bedroom door flew open and Bethany hurtled like a maniac down the stairs to let Hannah in. The door to their parent’s room stayed firmly shut.
Bethany’s not taking much with her to Scotland (she’d taken all her posters but left the globs of blue tak up because she knows it will really piss off her mum) so there are only a couple of trips from her room to the car and the whole while Chloe stands behind her own bedroom door trying to summon up the courage to open it, knowing that time is running out. Not for one minute had Chloe ever truly thought that Bethany would make good on her promise that on her eighteenth birthday she would leave them all for good.
Chloe finally makes a move downstairs when the house falls quiet.
The last of the boxes are secured into the backseat of the car and Hannah is fussing with something on the front seat. Chloe takes the opportunity to hand over the now crumpled package to Bethany and murmurs ‘Happy Birthday’. Her sister’s sweet, round face lights up as she tears into the brightly coloured paper.
Chloe’s glad now that she chose the big bold riotous ostentation of the feathery earrings she’d seen on the hippy market stall instead of the simple silver hoops her mother had suggested. They’re perfect. Cheap and cheerful they may be, but the smile on Bethany’s face is priceless.
Hannah trudges back across the lawn carrying a baker’s box, a plastic carrier bag and a balloon on a string. She hands the box over to Chloe so she can tie the balloon around Bethany’s wrist like a corsage. She then dips into the carrier bag and pulls out a little plastic tiara. Bethany accepts the crown like she’s just won Miss World. She pushes back her long hair dramatically so Hannah can admire her birthday present and Hannah coos appreciatively. She reclaims the baker’s box and opens it before placing on the ground. Chloe can’t help but be impressed that Hannah has thought of everything as she reaches back into the carrier bag again and extracts a candle, a book of matches some paper hats and a disposable camera.
The three of them sit in a cross-legged circle around the cake and belt out an exuberant rendition of “Happy Birthday”. Chloe roars out the ‘hoorays’. They feast on great handfuls of chocolate cake torn from the box until it is almost all gone and take a whole roll of pictures of their messy smiling faces and Bethany promises to send Chloe copies.
Before Chloe’s ready for it to be over, Bethany stands, wrapping her sister in a tight bear hug and says she’ll hear from her soon. Her kisses taste like chocolate and her hands are sticky on Chloe’s face and she shakes her head only once when Chloe says, ‘stay’. It’s Chloe’s turn when Bethany looks up at the twitching bedroom curtains and extends both middle fingers.
Chloe watches Hannah’s car bunny-hop away, the raucous laughter of it’s occupants disrupting the peace of the quiet suburban street and it’s only when it’s long out of sight that she turns back to their driveway and contemplates the house. She can’t help but notice that the curtains are open now. With deliberate intent she swipes up the remains of the chocolate smear on her face and licks her fingers clean with relish as she enters the house. She shuts the door quietly behind her.
Hi Guys, me again! So I’ve recently realised that all of my fics are about how Finn looks after Rae, so I thought I’d try to flip it a bit in this one. This is a follow on from my eight months fic. I’m thinking of doing an actual fic page once I can figure it out. Hope you enjoy
She finds herself carrying out Isla’s night-time feed in the nursery again. She marvels at the soft yellow walls that provide such a happy warm space, for her to carry out her mothering duties. She had wanted to go with white walls, and then she would brighten up the space with accessories, Finn had suggested yellow. She hadn’t really liked the idea, but he wouldn’t budge on it, explaining that yellow is the colour of happiness. She’s so happy she gave in and agreed, because she knows her white walls would do nothing but represent blankness, whereas Finn’s yellow made her happy, kept her calm and also warm just like Finn himself.
Finn had always looked after her to his best ability; nothing ever seems too much for him when it comes to her, and now their little girl. She loves him so much it’s hard for her to comprehend. She used to worry all the time that she didn’t put in as much as Finn did. It wasn’t that she ever doubted her feelings, or her commitment to their relationship, but it was more that although she gave her all in their relationship, she always thought Finn had always given more. She can actually remember the very first argument they had had once they had moved out together, she remembers he had been asking her for a few weeks what was wrong with her, and she always blew him off. This one night though it had come to blows, both severely inebriated after far to many down the Swan with the gang, Finn had called her out on her being distant, and being the full of love man he was, he asked what he had done. She blew at the thought of him thinking he had done anything wrong at all, and instead shouted about how she didn’t deserve everything he did for her and how she could never give what he gave. In His drunken state, Finn had understood wrong, and took her outburst as her trying to break up with him, like she did when she first got accepted to uni, and left her, or so she thought. The following morning she had found him curled up on the couch, he hadn’t left, he’d just spent the night downstairs. Through his hangover he managed to explain that he had taken what she had said the previous night the wrong way and how sorry he was to have walked out of the room like that. She had forgiven him instantly and said
“I deserved it Finn, I was being a cow.” to which he had put his arm around her and through his tears he had whispered;
“How come you think you deserve to be treated that way but feel as though you don’t deserve to be loved Rae?”
And that had been the start of her going back to therapy.
Isla whimpers slightly while Rae refastens her baby grow. Rae is still shocked at how quiet their baby is, although they both know she has a set of lungs on her, that could rival Rae’s and Chops together; she also has this quiet side to her, which she most definably gets from her dad. Once her nappy is changed and she’s all correct in her baby grow again, Rae lifts her off the changing station to cradle her in her arms, while making her way over to the rocking chair. Sitting down she starts to undo her top ready to feed. Considering she had found her pregnancy hard, and she had struggled to cope with the impending change of becoming a mum, Rae is extremely proud with how she has been coping. During the first few weeks she didn’t really feel comfortable with any of it unless Finn was around, little did she know that Finn felt the same; but once they had settled into a routine, she was fine and would often offer to do the night change if she was awake. She loved nothing more than their quiet mornings where either her or Finn would collect Isla and they’d have their morning cuddles in their bed. When Isla was three months, they were both happy to start putting her in the nursery of a night time, which she had happily adjusted to, and while Chop might have made a comment about Rae and Finn having some adult time, they hadn’t really, they much preferred cuddling up together and listening to their baby girls soft snores through the baby walker.
The gang hadn’t really changed over the years; they still met on a Friday night down the Swan, although now with Isla being here, both her and Finn hadn’t been along in a few weeks. They also met for dinner once a week, which now usually meant a takeaway around their house, not that the gang minded whatsoever. Even though Chop would moan about missing out on his usual pint down the Swan, the second he’d have Isla in his arms, he’d change completely. He was proper smitten. Isla was always going to have a home away from home with Chop, Izzy and their two kids. Archie and Chloe were both smitten too; Archie now being able to call himself uncle Archie and Chloe buying matching clothes for her and Isla to wear. As she sits on Finn’s old rocking chair, handed down from his Nan, rocking Isla as she feeds, she thinks about the future, and even if her and Finn were to not have another baby, Isla will be surrounded by love from the gang and Izzy and Chops two.
****
When he wakes, he finds himself alone in their bed, wrapped tightly in their duvet. Their bedroom is dimly lit, by the light from their landing flooding in from around the doorframe, but yet it still causes him to squint. His head is bouncing, more than it did the morning following the night the gang had gone to wet Isla’s head. In his 27 years he has never experienced a hangover like it, however he would take that hangover over the Flu he’s currently experiencing. Rae had been so good, she had hardly let him lift a finger around the house, and he’s not shy to admit that he loves the extra snuggles he’s be claiming. He looks to his right and sure enough on his bedside table, Rae had left him a glass of water and a pack of pain killers, he sits up before popping two into his mouth and taking a drink of his water. While he sits there, he thinks back over the last four months and how brilliantly Rae had coped with becoming a mum. He knew she would make the best mum but she had such a hard pregnancy and had serious doubts. He thinks back to his daughter’s birth and thinks about the tears he cried during and after. He has always been proud of Rae but the way she coped throughout labour and everything after, sets him with this pride he can feel in his chest.
Finn had been so overcome with emotion from his daughter’s birth, he’d found himself crying into his dads arms on night. Finn had found himself calling his dad two days after Isla’s birth. Both Isla and Rae were sleeping, after Rae had had a salt bath, Finn had been cuddle into Rae’s side but had got up when he heard a noise coming from Isla’s moses basket. After checking her over, he realised that she was just whimpering and was in fact fine, but for some reason he was so over come with emotion, he found himself in floods of tears and swiftly reached for their house phone to call his Dad. His dad had been round within fifth-teen minutes, and Finn had cried and explained he was just so happy, and exhausted. Once he had calmed down, his dad had fixed them with a bru, and Finn had opened up more at what he thinks had caused his emotional outpour. Earlier that morning, while him and Rae were trying to get ready to make their way down to their local shop for the essentials such as milk and bread, Rae had whispered to him that she had finally found a name they would both be happy with. Isla; after his Nan of course. He’d smiled and asked if she was sure, before explaining how perfect it was and how much he loved her. And ever since that moment, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about his Nan, he wondered if she would be proud of him, how she would feel about being a great Nan and how smitten she would be with Isla. Throughout their day Rae had picked up something had been bothering him, but he thought he was doing fine, until later that afternoon when he needed his dad and to talk about his Nan. Once his dad and his self had finished their bru’s, Isla started crying, which Finn jumped up to collect her. Once he was back in the lounge, his dad sent Finn on his way for a well-earned nap with Rae while he cared for Isla. Finn and Rae had woken two hours later to find Gary, rocking Isla off to sleep while singing her a lullaby of none other than Status Quo.
From the baby monitor on his bed side table, he can hear the rocking of the rocking chair and Rae humming. Feeling as though he has missed out of so much already this week while being sick, Finn makes his way to the nursery, where sure enough, he finds Rae, feeding their little bundle of joy. As he makes his way over to them, Rae catches his eye and smiles at him, before he bends to kiss her forehead, and stroke Isla’s. He makes his way to the small couch opposite the rocking chair and perches on it.
“How you feeling? You’ve been asleep for a good few hours.” Rae whispers softly not wanting to disturb Isla’s sleep. Finn rubs his eye before replying
“A lot better than I have been. Missed my girls too much so I had to wake up and find you both.”
Rae hums along, before gathering herself and Isla and making her way over to slot next to Finn. She sits down before motioning to Finn to place his head on her lap, which he does straight away. With her free hand she combs her fingers through his hair, which has him moaning out with satisfaction before she says; “we’ve missed you too. Its awful seeing you so ill. But it does give me chance to look after you, like you always look after me.”
The three of them sit in silence, cuddled up on Isla’s couch, for half an hour, all enjoying spending time with each other through the stolen hours of the early morning, before Finn sneezes. The sneeze causes him to cough, and cough and cough, until he’s sat up with Rae rubbing his back. Once his cough eases, she exclaims; “back to bed now Finn, come on.” He nods, and stands before collecting Isla’s moses basket and asking “please?” with his puppy dog eyes, he knows Rae can never resist. she tuts out a giggle before rolling her eyes and saying “Go on, Just this once.” before following Finn out of the Nursery and back into their bedroom.
Finn sets up Isla’s moses basket before settling into bed waiting for Rae. He sits and watches as Rae settles their daughter into the basket, closes her top, and climbs into bed next to Finn. She laughs when Finn makes a joke about her covering her breast back up, and him missing the girls, before pulling him down and cuddling him into his chest. He yawns once more before kissing the only place he can reach, her neck, while being cuddled into her chest, before speaking softly in a sleep drunken haze; “I love you Rae. You and Isla, I love you both so much.” He feels Rae kiss his head once before he’s carried off into the deepest slumber.
This was supposed to be a short little nothing, but it got away from me. Now it is a long lot of nothing. 5,000 + words. Sorry.
Summary: Rae and Finn have broken up, but their child keeps them connected.
Dear Gallagher,
Happy Christmas buddy! Saw these at the shop and thought of you. Reminds me of all our trips to the park. Couldn’t help but get ‘em.
I know mum’ll tell you “only one”, but don’t you worry. When she thinks no ones looking, she’ll sneak into the lounge to watch Top of the Pops, so just snag another one then! Trust me, she’ll never know. Used to do it all the time with her choc chip cookies, and she never had a clue! ;)
Hope you get the wishbone at dinner! I know what I’d wish for.
Miss ya,
Dad x
Rae shakes her head with a fond laugh, as she reads over the note for the third time. She glances at the box of biscuits shaped like squirrels, and smooths a hand over Gallagher’s head.
“Lamb and gravy. Your favourite, innit? Finn still remembers.”
The pup sits up at the familiar name. Quirking his head to the side, his tail starting to wag excitedly. Rae can’t help but grin.
“Don’t get any ideas about an extra treat now,” she warns before feeding him one of the biscuits. “Always knew when your dad did it. Thought he was so clever, the dickhead.”
And then she can’t help her small sad smile, or the tears welling up in her eyes.
“Yeah, Da’ I’ll be there. 7 o'clock sharp. Got it.” Finn cradles the phone between his ear and shoulder, reaching for the pile of post that’s spread on the welcome mat below the slot. “Look, the longer you take to tell me to be there on time, the later I’ll be!”
As his dad goes through the plans for Finn’s birthday weekend for the umpteenth time, he shuffles through the mail.
Bill.
Bill.
A flyer for the garden centre. Fairy lights are on offer for the post holiday season.
Bill.
A yellow envelope. No stamp, no return address. Finn turns it over and guffaws when he sees the seal covered in a single muddy paw print.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing Da’. Look I gotta go, see you in a bit alrigh’?”
“Don’t be late!”
As soon as he’s hung up Finn rips open the envelope, hands shaking slightly from happy anticipation. His eyes move across the front of a card, and he throws his head back to laugh, harder than he’s laughed in the last three months.
“YOU’RE MY FAVOURITE FACE TO LICK WHEN I’VE FINISHED CLEANING MY BOLLOCKS” is the message he’s greeted with, and if it wasn’t so funny he’d be sad that only she could make him this happy.
The inside is much sweeter, a simple “Happy Birthday to my Doggy Daddy!” Below that, Finn can tell Rae has used her wrong hand to messily scrawl “ur the most PAWesome dad eva xx” before forcing Gallagher to press another muddy paw down as a signature.
Inside the envelope he finds a photo. Gallagher in front of the Christmas tree, tongue out, teeth bared in what can only be classified as a smile. A tartan gift bow is stuck precariously to his ear, and the tin of mostly eaten squirrel biscuits sits next to him.
Half in shot is Rae, hand out as if to adjust the bow. She’s beautiful as always, and Finn wonders who snapped the photo. Hopes it was Linda or Karim, maybe even Chloe; just no one new.
He examines the rest of the scene, trying to commit it to memory. Maybe if he can memorize it, it’ll be easier to step into it and pretend that he had been there Christmas Day, instead of sat on his dad’s lounge over a turkey sarnie. He’s able to make out a few of the baubles hanging on the tree in the background, and he feels his chest fill with a dangerous cocktail of hurt and hope when he spies the glossy black of the set of decorations they’d bought together; tiny vinyl records, engraved with “R&F”. Finn traces his thumb over the image, over the part of Rae that’s visible. Scoffs at himself for thinking that’s exactly what he has left of her: just small parts. Carbon copies of what life was before.
Moving into the bedroom, he wedges the photo into the frame of his mirror, right below the one of them the day they moved into that flat. Their flat. Chop had captured the moment perfectly. Rae is scowling at Finn as he holds up the Babylon Zoo record, about to add it to the shelf of vinyl in their new music room. He can still remember how she’d tried to snatch it from his hand, threatening to use it as a pot coaster. They’d play wrestled until they were both on the carpet and the grappling had shifted to tangled limbs and mingled lips, when Chop had yelled “I’m still ‘ere you dirty fuckers!” before leaving the room. It’s one of his favourite memories and, when he’d moved out, the photo was one of his top priorities to pack.
Finn sighs and lays back on the bed. He misses that home, that room, that girl. If things hadn’t gone to shit Rae would be coming with him to his Dad’s; Gallagher in the back seat, head stuck out the window panting into the wind. He can imagine it perfectly and it makes his eyes sting. He almost lets the hurt take over, until he remembers that she’d put up their baubles, so Finn lets the hope win out instead.
Finn rearranges the two gift boxes on the passenger seat, repeating to himself that the purple one is full of Rae’s favourite chocolate, while the black one has liver treats for Gallagher. He’s antsy about this whole thing already, doesn’t need the added worry of poisoning the both of them with a nerve induced mix-up. He was annoyed at the shops for only carrying the cheesy love-heart shaped carriers, knowing Rae would find it campy, but it’s Valentine’s Day after all.
He’s sitting in his car, outside the building that houses the magazine Rae works for. Glancing at his watch, he’s timed it perfectly; knows from experience that in a couple minutes Rae will walk out with her coworker Rob. Finn’s legs bounce nervously, his knees hitting the steering wheel that he’s gripping firmly. This could go wrong in so many ways, but he’s been holding on to the baubles on the tree for the last fortnight; the tinsel-shiny prospect of them keeping him afloat, and he’s sure deep down that she’s thinking of him too. When Finn sees Rob emerge from the front doors alone, his brow furrows and he jumps out quickly and jogs to meet him at the entrance.
“Finn!” Rob is cheerful, but obviously surprised to see him, and Finn wonders how much he knows about the last few months. “What’re you doing here?”
“Alrigh’, Rob?” Finn tucks his hands in his jeans, shoulders bobbing up and down in greeting. “Just wanted to catch Rae. Is she running late?”
Rob’s face morphs into a mask of confusion and the tide of Finn’s nerves threatens to drown every one of his internal organs. His pockets feel too tight for the fists his hands have formed.
“No. I mean, she left about an hour ago. Thought she was meeting you?”
Right, he doesn’t know anything about the break up then. Finn is baffled into silence, unsure of how much to say, and the air grows heavy with awkwardness.
Rob clears his throat and continues, “Outfit she had on, we all figured she had a hot date or summat!” Rob chuckles, clearly hoping his quip would lighten the mood, but all it does is snap the already too-taut string holding Finn together.
Finn’s not sure what his face looks like – he’s feeling too many things at once: hurt, disappointment, jealousy – but it’s definitely not the neutral expression he’s aiming for based on Rob’s wide eyes and the concerned step he takes towards him.
“Is everything alright, mate?” Rob’s voice is worried, and now Finn’s angry at himself for putting them both in this uncomfortable situation.
“Yeah, ‘course. Must have just gotten our wires crossed. Thanks.” Finn hurries out his explanation, already turning back towards his car to escape this whole embarrassing exchange. Thanks all that is holy that he had left the stupid gifts in the car. Didn’t need them there to decorate his humiliation.
“Do you want me to give her a message?” Rob yells after him.
Finn immediately pivots mid step to stumble over a “NO! No, that’s alrigh’ mate. Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to her me'self!” After returning Rob’s unsure nod, Finn fights the urge to run back to his car. Instead he measures his steps, trying to appear calm and unaffected; the complete opposite of how he actually feels.
*
Finn had driven blindly, leaving his hands and feet to navigate, as his mind was too wrapped up in imagining Rae dressed up and sat across from some wanker who probably didn’t know how much she hated going out on Valentine’s. His heart is pounding and all the blood in his body must have found it’s way into his head, because he feels like he’s about to erupt.
He’s not surprised when he looks up from where he’s parked to see he’s outside her flat. Knows he shouldn’t be there, but she’s on a bloody date and Rae being with anyone else is so wrong that he needs some familiarity. He can tell from the street that her lights are out and he lets go of the tiny hope he’d held on to that Rob had been wrong.
He still has his set of keys. Rae never asked for them, and Finn couldn’t bring himself to loose them from the ring. It was like he needed the heft of them in his palm and pockets; a physical reminder of their commitment that he could keep with him at all times without seeming mad. As he uses them to unlock the main door, he finds himself bitterly doubting that commitment. He knows it’s not fair, they’ve been broken up for months, but he hasn’t even looked twice at another girl and he can’t believe she’s moved on this fast.
Finn takes the two flights quickly, eyes down, silently hoping none of the neighbours spot him. The last thing he needs is Ms. Dewhurst telling Rae that “the boy with the too long fringe who used to live here was lurking about”. Once he reaches the door, he knocks tentatively just in case Rae really is home, maybe listening to a record in the dark like she used to do. Finn cringes at the thought of startling her as he essentially brakes in, but his relief of her being there would be greater than the embarrassment. However the only sound from inside the flat is the panting breaths and scurrying paws of Gallagher. The pup’s clawing lifts his spirits and Finn unlocks the door to greet him. Gallagher barks before jumping to his hind legs, front paws landing on Finn’s hips. Finn swears he can see the recognition in the dog’s wild eyes, and it hits him then that Rae’s not the only one he’s been missing terribly.
“Hiya, buddy!” Finn drops down to his knees to give him a proper petting, scratching at Gallagher’s neck while he licks at any part of Finn he can get at. “Just finished cleaning your bollocks?” Finn chuckles, scrunching his eyes shut as Gallagher’s tongue takes a swipe at them.
Gallagher is frantic, breath panting, and he jumps up again knocking Finn on his back so he can climb onto his stomach and continue his assault. “Alrigh’, alrigh’, I’ve missed you too!” Finn pushes him away from his face and Gallagher hops off him, settling instead on Finn’s side, head resting on his chest. The two boys remain sprawled on the floor, catching their breath. Finn strokes the top of his head gently, as he stares up at the ceiling.
“So your mum’s on a date, huh? Have you seen him? What’s he like?” Finn lifts his head to look Gallagher in the face, and the pup tilts his head to the side like he’s really contemplating a response. Finn rubs one of his floppy ears between his fingers. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Don’t wanna know nothing about the tosser. Hope they’re having a shit time. Hope the Spice Girls come on in the car and the twat knows all the words.” Gallagher lets out a low growl and Finn laughs. “Glad you still agree.”
They lay in content silence for another 10 minutes until Finn figures he should go before Rae comes home to find him lying on her rug. “I gotta get going, mate. But do me a favour and attack his leg or summat, alrigh’? I know we sent you to obedience school and all that, but I won’t be bothered if you wee on his trousers.”
Gallagher licks at his face again, and Finn suddenly feels like crying. “Not sure when I’ll get to see you again, Gall’. Thought maybe I’d be coming 'round more after tonight, but guess I was stupid to think Rae was missing me 'ey? She was always the stronger one.” Gallagher gives him a pitiful whine and Finn smiles dolefully. “I know, mate. I’m sad too.”
“Thanks for taking me out. Even if it was on Valentine’s.” Rae playfully rolls her eyes and holds the door to her building open for him.
“I knew you’d complain about that! But of course I’m gonna take out my favourite girl on this day of love!”
“You’re ridiculous.” Rae shakes her head with a small laugh as she leads the way up to her flat. “But really, I appreciate it. Glad you’re spending the night too. It’ll be nice to have someone besides Gallagher around.”
“Yeah? So I’m the only bloke who’s lucky enough to have been invited?”
Rae scoffs. “Please, Arch. You know I haven’t even thought about another guy since…you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” Archie gives her a soft smile. “I’m sorry about that by the way. I know today didn’t go how you thought.”
Rae just shrugs. She had gotten all dolled up and left work early, hoping to “catch” Finn at home while she was dropping off a card from Gallagher. But he wasn’t in. She sat on his front step for a good ten minutes before deciding she didn’t want to be that pathetic, and called Archie to pick her up.
“Yeah well, it was daft of me to think Finn Nelson would just be sat at home on Valentine’s Day. I guess I just hoped…I don’t know what I hoped.”
They’ve reached her floor now and Archie clocks the heart shaped box propped up against her door. “Maybe you were hoping for something like that?”
Rae blushes when she sees what he’s pointing at, and her pulse quickens and she bends to pick it up. She bites her lip to stop her manic smile as she recognizes the scribble she’s long since memorized from countless mix tapes. She presses the black box to her chest as she rips open the card.
Dear Gallagher,
Don’t think I forgot about you! You know you’ll always be my second love, even though you probably met some lucky lass down the pet shop. That reminds me, we need to get ya fixed. Don’t need to be a grand dad any time soon.
Dad x
P.S. Soz if the liver breath cock-blocks ya.
“It’s from Finn right? What does it say?” Archie asks excitedly.
Rae tips her head back and releases a short wry laugh. “It’s not for me.” She shoves the box into Archie’s arms before unlocking the door and going straight to the fridge for a beer.
“He always sends Gallagher stuff like this?” Archie leans a hip on her kitchen counter, frowning down at the note.
“Yeah. He loves this little guy.” Rae is on her knees, scratching at Gallagher who has come to greet them in the kitchen. “At least he still loves one of us, hey Gall’?”
“Rae,” Archie starts.
“No Arch, it’s fine.”
Rae waves him off but Archie hears the wobble of her voice, and even though her face is turned away, he knows it’s probably wet with tears. Archie throws the box and note on the counter and sits down on the floor next to her.
“Move over, Gall’.” Archie pulls Rae towards him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders which are now shaking as she sobs. Rae tucks her face into his neck, and Archie’s shirt is instantly wet.
“I’ve been so stupid, Arch.”
“You haven’t.”
“He’s probably on a date with some beautiful girl who likes shit music but can get away with it 'cause of her stupid pretty face.”
“We don’t know where he was, Rae.”
“I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re just… in love.”
“Same shit. How stupid am I to think he still feels the same? I must be mad to hope that I could keep someone like Finn. That stuff doesn’t happen to girls like me. I don’t get the happy ending. I get crying on the kitchen floor.”
“Rae, this is not what your life is going to be forever. It’s hard right now, but you’re strong. You’ll get past this.”
“I don’t want to get past him, Archie. I want him back.”
“I know.”
They’re quiet for a long time, only the sounds of Gallagher’s soft whines and Rae’s sniffles filling the room. Finally Rae sits up, wiping her face with the sleeve of her coat.
“Sorry.”
“Hey, don’t ever apologize for snotting on me. That’s what best mates are for.” Archie nudges her knee with his.
“Would my best mate be willing to help me break into Finn’s and get that card back?”
“You and I would make the worst burglars. Can you imagine? But maybe if we get arrested I would finally get some action in jail.”
“Didn’t know convicts were your type.”
“Rae, it’s Valentine’s day and the closest to intimacy I’m gonna get is your dog slobbering on my leg. Don’t think I can afford to be choosy.”
Rae scoffs. “Yeah well, welcome to my world.”
They share a laugh before Archie asks, “You alright?”
“No, but I’m used to not being alright.” Rae sighs before reaching for the box of treats and retrieving one for Gallagher. “C'mere, boy. Enjoy this token of a man’s affection. You’re the only one here getting it.”
“So how was yesterday? Did'ya get the ‘V’ in Valentines?” Chop laughs at his own joke before scooping another heap of curry into his mouth. He’d come round to Finn’s for a take away after their shift at the garage.
Finn scowls and takes a swig of beer. “No. It was crap.”
After leaving Rae’s he’d stopped at the off licence for a 12 pack before heading home, only to find a red envelope on his welcome mat. When he saw it was stamped with another messy paw print, he’d chucked it straight in the bin. After beer number two he’d taken Rae’s keys off his chain and thrown them on top of that. Beer number four had him tying up the bag roughly and hauling it to the garden because he couldn’t stop thinking about them sitting there. And once half the pack was gone he’d been drunk enough to forget about everything except the melancholy lyrics of Morrissey.
Chop’s brows meet in the middle at Finn’s rough reply. “Yeah, who’s that from then? Secret admirer?” He nods his head at the purple box lying on the coffee table between them.
Finn groans and rubs at his face. He’d forgotten about the stupid chocolates he bought Rae. “They’re your pudding. Have at 'em.” Finn stands to walk to the kitchen for another drink.
“Hey, aren’t these Raemundo’s favourites?” Chop yells from the lounge and Finn has to hold the cold can to his forehead to calm him down.
“Leave it alone and eat the damn chocolate Chop,” Finn growls back. He cracks the beer, awaiting Chop’s inevitable piss take but he’s quiet. Too quiet. Finn turns to see him frowning down at the box, and he realizes Chop’s reading the other part he’d forgotten: the foolish note he’d written.
“Shit.” Is all Chop says once he’s done, flicking the card towards Finn.
“Yeah. It is shit.” Finn replies, picking it up to read it over.
Rae,
“But tonight I miss my girl, mister tonight I miss my home.”
I know you hate today, but love makes you mean all those crazy things.
Finn x
P.S. Sorry this is so cringe. At least it’s not Backstreet Boys lyrics right? Not that I know any…but you probably would ;)
Chop shakes his head. “I ain’t no Casanova, but even I know that’s romantic. Fuck, I’m tempted to date ya! Fucking Springsteen? Why didn’t you give it to her?”
“'Cause she was out with someone else.” Finn lets out a humourless laugh, tossing the card back on the table. “I was ready to move back in and she was on a date with some other bloke.”
“No she wasn’t,” Chop says in between bites.
“What?”
“Well, she was with another bloke, but since Archie fancies lads I don’t think he’s much of a threat.”
“What are you on about?”
“Izzy told me she was having a catch up with Archer but he dipped out half way because he had to meet Rae.” Chop says it with a shrug as he continues to pick through the chocolates. He’s so casual, as if this info doesn’t alter Finn’s whole life.
Finn stares incredulously at him, trying to comprehend the gift of information he’s just been handed. Chop looks up and gives him a confused look before lifting the box of chocolate in offering. Finn shakes his head and scrambles for the back door, nearly tripping on the bin bag he’d thrown out carelessly the night before. He rifles through it’s contents to find the now damp and slightly sticky envelope.
Inside is a white card sporting a drawing of a derpy dog that looks just like Gallagher. Underneath it says “I’ll sniff your arse, if you sniff mine” in loopy font and it makes Finn smile for the first time in the last 24 hours. Inside is Rae’s familiar bubbly printing that he’s learned from grocery lists and sneaky notes in his packed lunches.
I told Gall’ this was an inappropriate card to get his dad, but he insisted. Though, I can understand the attraction to your arse :p
We both know this day is for mainstream people who listen to boy bands, but it never hurts to remind someone you’re thinking of them.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Finnley.
We miss you.
Love, Rae and Gallagher xx
Finn reads the message six times over searching for any double meanings or misinterpretations, but all he registers is “miss you” and “love”, and maybe the comment about his arse. He hates that the card (that he’s definitely keeping forever) now smells of the mushy peas he’d thrown out after his fish and chips the previous day, but that doesn’t matter. None of it matters because Rae wasn’t on a date and she misses him and maybe loves him and still thinks “the curve of his arse is the solution to every impossible maths problem in the known universe.” (She’d drunkenly confessed this to him after two months of dating, which also happened to be the same night Finn knew he was in love). So he shovels through the rest of the bag’s contents to find his set of keys.
Rae trudges slowly up to her flat. It’s been a long day, after an even longer night. All she wants to do is get inside, put on a record, take off her bra, and cuddle with Gallagher.
Her and Archie had stayed up watching films and dunking Hobnobs into hot toddies; the perfect night for two sad and singles. One of the comedies they’d put in turned out to be a romantic one, and Rae had another cry before they’d fallen asleep in front of the tv. She woke up cold and alone in the middle of the night to find Archie snuggled up to Gallagher at the other end of the couch. Story of my life. Every guy prefers the bloody dog, she had thought but was secretly glad they hadn’t moved to the bedroom. Best mate or not, Rae wasn’t ready for another man in her bed.
Work was no better. Rob had acted strange around her but when she asked if anything happened he shook his head and asked about her night, which she promptly lied about. She tried to focus on the article she was writing, but it seemed like every new band she researched only served to remind her of one person.
“Rae dear, you’re home late.”
Rae looks up to find her elderly neighbour at the stop of the staircase. “Hiya Ms. D. Been a long one. Y'alright?”
“Lovely, dear, just lovely.” Ms. Dewhurst replies airily.
“That makes one of us,” Rae mumbles under her breath as she takes the remaining steps.
“Think your day is about to get a bit better, love.” Ms. D pats her shoulder, a broad, knowing smile on her face before turning to her door.
Rae watches her go, confused by the cryptic message until her eyes fall on a rectangle box sat by her door. Now she is even more confused. She bends to pick it up, a mix of déjà vu and nerves filling her. She has a curious prickle on the back of her neck, like she’s being watched, and turns to look behind her; swears she sees Ms. D vanish from behind the peephole. Rae decides she doesn’t need an audience to witness whatever this Pandora’s box contains and hurries to unlock the door.
As soon as she’s inside, Rae leans against the door and takes a deep breath. She had gotten prematurely excited over the box from last night, so she tries to reason with herself that this delivery could be anything. Perhaps the candles she’d ordered, or the adorable flannel harness she’d bought online for Gallagher because it reminded her of one of Finn’s coats, maybe even the vibrator Chloe had convinced her to invest in the other week. Any of those seemed much more likely than what her heart was holding hope for.
That optimistic heart jumps into her throat when she opens the card to find the familiar perfectly untidy printing.
Rae,
“But tonight I miss my girl, mister tonight I miss my home.”
I know you hate today yesterday, but love makes you mean all those crazy things.
Love, Finn xxx
P.S. Sorry this is so cringe. At least it’s not Backstreet Boys lyrics right? Not that I know any…but you probably would ;)
P.P.S. Figured if I waited a day, you’d like this more. Bonus: no heart shaped box.
P.P.P.S. I got your card. I’m thinking of you too. I miss you too. And your arse is also great.
Rae’s smile has broadened with every word and her knees suddenly can’t handle the weight of that blossoming hope, so she slides down the door to fall on her “great” arse. Gallagher comes running to lick at her and Rae lets herself dissolve into a fit of giggles.
“Maybe he still loves us both, Gall’.”
Gallagher bounds down the hall, bumping in to balloons that scatter the floor. He barks at the offending objects attempting to pounce on them, but only manages to kick them away so he chases them into the kitchen instead. A stray chew left by his food bowl distracts him on his quest, and he settles at Chop’s feet to gnaw on it.
“Can’t believe you threw your dog a birthday party!” Chop shakes his head and playfully kicks at Gallagher’s rump.
Izzy scowls at him and bends to stroke Gallagher fondly. “He’s part of the family! Besides he’s sooooo cute!”
“He’s a dog! Doesn’t know how old he fuckin’ is!”
“Didn’t stop you from drinking the beer or eating the food, did it?” Chloe shoots back. “Besides it’s just an excuse for us to get together. We haven’t all hung out since…you know.”
Rae clears her throat before she smirks at Chop and continues to plate cupcakes. “Let me guess, you’d prefer a 'sexy’ party?”
“Raemundo, you know me too well. Now, what have we ‘ere?” Chop reaches over and grabs a cake off the tray, already unwrapping it.
“Think you’ll like it. It’s has cream cheese and peanut butter icing.” Rae gestures for him to take a bite, which he does. A big one. “Topped with lamb treats. They’re pupcakes for Gallagher.”
Chop’s eyes bug out and he spits his mouthful into the sink. The gang erupts into laughter, and then Chop is chasing Rae through the lounge trying to smear the icing on his face and hands onto her. He manages to tackle her down on the sofa, Rae squealing through her laughter for him to “stop, stop, get off”. Gallagher barks at Chop clearly defensive over Rae, and starts to pull at the cuff of his jeans, growling low. Chop rolls off Rae, his hands up in surrender.
“Oi mate, it’s jus’ me, your favourite pork-Chop!” Chop bends to pat him and Gallagher’s act of protection drops as soon as he sniffs the peanut butter on him. Instead he jumps up onto his lap, excitedly licking off all the icing from Chop’s face. “Christ, it’s like the first time I snogged Izzy!!”
“You horrible boy!” Izzy complains, smacking Chop. “You get ‘em, Gall’! Bite his face off!”
“Alrigh’, there will be no biting of anyone’s face! Even his ugly mug,” Finn laughs, walking into the room with Archie. “C’mere Gall’, time for presents.” Gallagher runs towards him, sniffing at the boxes and barking. “Easy now, sit!” Gallagher sits up, tail wagging happily. “Good boy!”
“Here, let Uncle Archie read you the card.” Archie plucks the envelope off a random box, and starts to read.
“Dear Gallagher,
Happy First Birthday! Seems like just yesterday we spotted you at the shelter. Always thought you were cute, but when we drove you home and you started howling along to Oasis, we knew you were the perfect fit.
Thanks for ending the debate over which brother is better, because now you’re our favourite Gallagher.
Love, Mum and Dad x”
The gang exchange surprised looks before they all turn to Rae and Finn, who are too busy looking at each other to notice their knowing smiles.
Concept inspired by this story and my general love of dogs. Apologies for it being lame, cheesy, and late. Thank you for reading!
This is a band AU that’s been in the works for years, literally. I could never let it go, and I’m thrilled that it is finally seeing the light of day. My endless thanks to @madfatty, who I rely on a frankly shocking amount. She listens to me whine, makes the bust suggestions, names all the things, and gives the best compliments a girl could ask for. When she read this, she literally said, “I’m never talking to you again.” and if that’s not true friendship, I don’t know what is.
Tags and a little author’s note at the bottom.
Nights When They Play
He’s expansive tonight, stage Finn. She watches him from her seat at the bar, shaking her head as he claps a tall guy on the shoulder and squeezes, wearing his familiar manic energy like a costume. Finn elbows the guy in the ribs, and the whole group laughs riotously. Rae rolls her eyes.
She hates when he gets like this. She much prefers regular Finn, easy Finn, Finn of the haughty opinions and careless banter, Finn whose laughter always sounds like a surprise. She even prefers grumpy, sullen Finn, who scowls into his pint and can’t be drawn out with anything less than the boldest of taunts. Performer Finn just makes her feel small.
“Nelson’s on fire tonight.” Manny laughs, leaning over the bar in front of her. She shoots him a brief, tight smile, and they both return to watching Finn as he shakes a rail-thin girl jokingly and all her friends giggle in envy.
“I hate when he gets like this.” Rae says, because it feels good to talk about him behind his back, because she owes this Finn no loyalty.
“Seems obnoxious.” Rae swivels on her stool to face him, turning her back on Finn Nelson. Manny shrugs and pulls a pint glass from under the bar. “But I can see why he’s got so many fans, I guess. He seems to be charming them pretty well. Another one, babes?”
“It’s my round, so for the whole table, if you don’t mind.” Rae sighs, spinning to look at Finn again. No less than three girls are touching him in some capacity; she rolls her eyes again and looks away. “Oh, the fans. All the many, many female fans.”
Manny chuckles as he fills glasses and sets them onto a tray. “Who do you think he’s going to pull tonight? My money’s on the blonde.” Manny jerks his head towards the group, where a bottle-blonde girl is squeezing Finn’s bicep and pressing her breasts against his arm less than subtly.
“Nah,” Rae shakes her head, “definitely the brunette at the pool table. Look at the way she’s watching him. She’s on the prowl.”
“Like someone else I know.” He tilts his head towards the generous cleavage Rae’s got on display tonight, and she shoots him a roguish grin, though she can feel the flush warming her cheeks.
“You know it.” She shoots back, and he laughs. “Where’s that fine, speccy piece of ass I call my own?” She looks around the bar, cranes her head, but she doesn’t spot Archie. She sighs heavily, and Manny sets a shot glass full of amber liquid in front of her. “What’s this?”
“On me.”
“Oh, you’re so sweet, Manny.”
“Nah, it’s not that I’m sweet, it’s more that you’re so pathetic that I can’t help but give you free booze.”
“Oi!” She protests, approximating a wounded face. She pushes the drink away. “Just because my boyfriend is a…” She leans in, draws out the word, “homosexual… does not mean that I am pathetic.”
Manny shakes his head. “No, but the fact that your homosexual boyfriend is in a dark corner snogging another bloke does.”
Rae swivels her head to glance where he’s pointing, grimacing when she spots Archie in a heated embrace, glasses askew. She flattens her lips and gives Manny a resigned sigh. “Cheers then.”
“Cheers.” He retorts, allowing her to clink the glass against his fist.
“Someday Manny, there will be inappropriate grinding in a dark corner for me too. Someday my prince will come.”
“Hey, I been trying to get you to go out with me for ages, baby. I could snog you in a corner like nobody’s business.”
“You’re too good for me, love, I told ya. Someday your prince will come too. In the meantime, I think the blonde’s available.” She says, eyes sparkling over the top of her glass.
“I do just fine, thanks.” Manny says, but he’s looking over at the girl with his mouth pursed. He clears his throat and adjusts himself. Rae laughs, and he rolls his eyes at her before changing the subject. “So, Rae, I didn’t see you here on Tuesday. It was packed. Did you catch that band that was playing?”
“No, Tim covered that one. He said they were good.”
“They were, you’da liked ‘em.”
“He gave me the demo, but I haven’t had time to listen to it. I’ll be here tomorrow though. Do you know anything about them? Vamp Camp?”
Manny shakes his head and sets another Snakebite on the tray to replace the one Rae’s got halfway drunk already. She smiles a thank you at him. “No, Michelle booked ‘em. I’ve never heard of them before.”
“Oh, Michelle. Our favorite.”
Manny snorts. “You wouldn’t believe what she said the other night, Rae. It was late and we were just about to close…”
“Rae! You want to get back here with those drinks? Some of us are growing old here, wasting away!” Chop’s voice carries through the bar, and for a moment everyone stills. Rae can feel herself getting hotter and redder. But the din picks back up after just a second and Rae shakes her head at her favourite bartender.
“So, what did she say?” Rae asks, taking a cooling sip of her drink. Manny shakes his head, smile on his face.
“You’d better get back to your table, Rae. Wouldn’t want that group o’ fit birds to turn into a gang of old biddies. Come a little early tomorrow and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Alright then.” Rae says, levering herself up on the bar to press a kiss to his cheek. Manny shakes his head and hands her the tray.
She balances the tray on her hip with practiced ease, skirting around the crowd toward the back table.
“There she is!” Chop calls, and a chorus of cheers greets her as she sets the drinks down. There’s a scrabbling of hands as they all reach at once for the glasses, sloshing beer onto the table. Rae pulls hers out deftly and slides into the booth beside Izzy. “Right, where was I?”
“Do we have to? Your jokes are always so foul and offensive.” Chloe huffs, but Chop merely slings an arm around her shoulders and wags his eyebrows at her.
“You know you love it, Chlo. The dirtier, the better, isn’t that what you’re always saying?”
Chloe shoots an appealing look at Izzy. “He hasn’t even told the joke yet and he’s already being horrible. Can’t you stop him, Iz?”
“What do you want me to do?” Izzy laughs, shrugging her whole body. The drinks she’s had already seem almost a visible aura around her, an acid yellow alcopop haze. Rae can’t help but grin at her.
“Right, so, a woman’s working at a bank, and a man comes in with a ski mask and a gun.” Chop’s wearing the ridiculous grin he only ever has when he’s about to tell a terrible joke. Chloe groans and downs half her drink in one go. “He comes right up to her, points the gun right at her and says, ‘Open the vault.’ The woman puts her hands in the air, stutters, “But, but, sir! This is a SPERM bank.”
“Here we go…” Chloe mutters. Chop is somehow grinning harder.
“So the man, he says, ‘Yeah, I know. Now open the vault.’ And he waves his gun at her and shit. The woman is bricking it now, cause obviously the guys a total nutter, so she stands up and opens the vault. And he tells her to go get some of the spunk, so she comes back out with the stuff and he tells her to open one and drink it.”
“Eugh.” Izzy makes a comically disgusted face. Chloe shoves at Chop to let her out, which only serves to make him gleefully wrap his arm tighter over her collar bones.
“No, no, this is the best part, Chlo. You can’t miss the best part!”
Rae laughs, sinking deeper into the warm liquid feeling she only ever gets on nights like this. The buzz in her bones from the show - the sensation she’s been chasing since that first night she’d heard a really good band play, that vibrating that’s determined the direction of her career, her whole life - has settled into a pleasant haziness of booze and joy.
So of course, her eyes are off looking for him.
She doesn’t like to think about it, really. She’s good at suppressing it entirely until she passes the four drink mark, but there’s something about him that’s got that same kind of resonance. When he’s playing, it’s magnetic, it’s the most her she ever feels, standing there in the crowd with the notes pulsing through her ribcage. But even off the stage, even when he’s shrugged off his band self and settled into the skin of ordinary, just-a-guy Finn, he’s still got it in him. Her bones always hum when he’s around.
He’s leaning against a pool table, the game abandoned as he chats amiably with a group of guys still holding their cues. She watches his hands, the way his fingers curl around the lip of the table, the way they shift against his thigh. The long line of his leg, narrow in his dark jeans, the perfect thirty degree bend of his knee. The pull of his t shirt over his shoulders, the way the fabric pools at his waist.
He’s easier in parts. It’s more theoretical that way, the wanting. More clinical. She laughs and looks at her hands.
When she looks back up at him, it’s clear she’s been caught. He wears a wry, knowing grin and a raised eyebrow - an amplification of the same flirty look he’d been giving the blond earlier. She wants to look away, feels the instinct to demure, so she forces herself to hold his gaze, longer longer longer… until something hot and red starts to wriggle in her stomach.
Slowly, Finn rises to his feet, unfolding his length languidly. He’s still talking to one of the pool players, but his eyes haven’t left hers.
Thankfully, the table bursts into riotous commotion just then. Beside her, Izzy’s practically climbing on top of the table to swat at Chop with an open palm. Rae looks gratefully down for a long moment.
“You horrible, nasty boy!” Izzy’s hollering, one of her knees upsetting an empty bottle.
Chloe is gagging with exaggerated disdain, twisted in her seat to shove at Chop with both hands. Tears are streaming down Chop’s face, he’s laughing so hard. His braying makes several heads turn in their direction once more, something Rae should be used to by now, but can never quite get comfortable with.
“What happened? Did I miss the punch line?”
“You do NOT want to hear it!” Chloe shrieks, adding her feet against Chop’s hips to her effort to push him out of the booth. He’s clinging to the edge of the table to keep from sliding out of his seat, but Izzy’s relentless swatting at his shoulders is distracting him and he’s losing ground.
“Seriously, Rae? How could you’ve missed it? It’s one of my best jokes yet!” He’s now hanging on with only one hand, using the other to shield his head. Izzy’s got both knees on the table, and Rae leans back as far as she can to avoid her wriggling mate. “As soon as Finn gets his arse back over here, I’ll tell it again.”
“No you will not!” Chloe and Izzy exclaim in chorus. Chloe redoubles her shoving, and Chop finally tumbles out of the booth. Rae moves quickly to catch their glasses as Chop lands in a heap of groaning and laughter at Finn’s feet.
“Sperm bank?” Finn chuckles, stepping over Chop to slide into the booth beside Rae. Chop grabs at one of his boots, but Finn kicks him off. “I told you not to tell that one to the girls.”
“He’s out of control on nights when you play, you know that?” Chloe shoots accusingly at Finn. He shrugs and picks through the glasses on the table for a mostly full pint.
Chop’s head pops up above the edge of the table. “I’m out of control all the time, baby. I’m a rock star! Isn’t that right, Iz?”
“You’re a pervert, is what you are.”
“You love it.”
Izzy settles back into her seat, and Rae shuffles down a bit, expecting Finn to move too, even them out along the bench. But he slides in the other direction, closer to her, presses up against her hip and gives her another liquid look. He’s a wall of heat, smelling like sweat and beer and man. She moves slightly closer to Izzy.
Finn lifts his arm to rest along the back of the booth behind her, and the intensity of his warmth increases against her side. She can feel beads of sweat forming on the back of her neck. She downs the rest of her drink, hoping the cool liquid might help. It doesn’t.
“Is Johnno coming, Chlo?” Rae asks, ignoring Finn’s audible cluck beside her. He’s not exactly a fan of Chloe’s boyfriend. Neither is she, really, though she works harder at hiding it.
“No, we’ve broken up again.” Chloe heaves a frustrated sigh, leans across the table to be better heard. “He spent the weekend at his Mum’s, and he’s always a right prick after he comes back, full of what I should be like, what I should say, how I should act.”
“What was it this time?” Rae rolls her eyes. Finn lifts up in his seat, adjusts. Is he actually getting closer?
“My job again.” She growls. “Apparently it’s ‘unbecoming of a lady to dance in public.’ His Mum just can’t get over it.”
Chloe gives dance lessons at a local studio and moonlights as a go-go dancer at a club nearby. It’s mild dancing, nothing at all like stripping. The club is 60’s themed, and Chloe wears a little mod dress and boots up to her thighs. Johnno had only seen her dance once, but it had been enough to cause a reoccurring argument between the two of them, especially after he’d run off and told his Mummy. Honestly, she can’t see why Chloe tolerates him.
Behind her on the booth, Finn’s arm droops a little and his thumb starts to drift against her shoulder. Just a brush, an accident maybe… until it settles into tracing small barely there circles against her skin. It tingles in all the best ways, and in some of the worst ones too. She tries to ignore it, even as she gets that tightness in her skin, that slick flush of maybe. She knows better than to make anything of it, though.
“Honestly, it’s gotten ridiculous. He’s a grown man, he can’t always be siding with his Mum. You’d think she still chose…” Chloe gets a good steam on for one of her rants, but Rae misses it because Finn’s leaned over to whisper in her ear.
“Ten quid says they’ll be back together within the week.” He grumbles, voice low. His breath is scalding against her sweat-sticky neck. She can’t hide her shiver this time. He sits back with a smug grin.
Rae leans forward deliberately, ignoring him, tilts her glass towards Chloe. “Well, you don’t need him, Chlo! You’re a strong, independent woman, and you don’t need any man!” It’s all she’s allowed to say, she’d learned that the hard way. In two weeks, when she’s back with him, she’ll go cold and bitter on Rae if she harps on about what a twat he is. He is a twat, but his twattishness must remain unspoken.
“Hear, hear!” Chop cheers, the first one to clink his glass against Rae’s. Chloe’s joins shortly after, then Izzy’s. Finn holds back, lips pursed. “We’re all independent women here! Super foxy ladies!”
“Damn right!” Izzy adds, slapping a palm against the table.
“In fact…” Chop holds a finger up in the air, like he’s had a brilliant idea. He grins wildly, clambering out of the booth towards the jukebox. A few seconds later, an electric screech sounds through the pub as he pulls the chord, followed by silence, and then a collective groan. “Wait for it, you wankers!” Chop yells.
Rae laughs, exchanging a wide eyed look with Chloe. Chop really is out of control when they play. After another moment, music starts to drift through the bar, chatter being replaced by the velvety strains of Gloria. At first I was afraid, I was petrified…
“Ohhhh!” Izzy croons, nodding at Chloe.
Chop reappears at the end of the table. “C’mon Chlo. You know what you’ve gotta do.”
“No.” She protests as Chop tugs on her arm. “I’m not doing it.”
“You have to, It’s the rules.” Izzy tells her firmly, then shakes a hand at Rae and Finn. “Budge up, you two.”
Laughing, they slide out of the booth to let Izzy join her boyfriend in pulling on Chloe. Finn puts a hand low on Rae’s back as Izzy brushes by, like he’s trying to steady her, but he doesn’t drop it. After a brief, and fairly halfhearted struggle on Chloe’s part, all five of them are standing. Chop starts to swivel his hips, wide and jerky. Chloe keeps shaking her head, narrow-eyed, trying not to laugh. It’s a lost cause, though, because in moments, Chops got one hand on each of her hips, forcing them to swivel, and Izzy’s crowded behind her, waving her hands to the same rhythm Chop’s forcing. They’re ridiculous, but all that band practice is good for keeping Chop and Izzy in sync.
“C’mon, Rae!” Izzy reaches out to grab at Rae’s arm. “Dance with us.”
She starts to step forward - it’s inevitable, Chop and Izzy are a force of nature, so she might as well not bother fighting it. But Finn slips his hand up from her back to hang over her shoulder. “Rae’s going to sit here and chat with me, thank you.”
“But she’s an independent woman, Finny. It’s the ruuuuules!” Izzy pleads.
“Not today, babes. I need her.” Finn gives her a sharp smile and crowds Rae into the booth, all the way down the bench into the corner. Izzy puckers up her face to let him know just what she thinks of that, but Chop’s already pulling her away, over to the side of the room where there’s a square of space that’s occasionally used as a dance floor. Unbelievably, Archie’s managed to peel himself away from his tonsil diving, and he and his date join them.
“What if I wanted to dance, Finn? Huh? You think about that before you started bossing me around?” She jabs at him. He drapes his arm back along the back of the booth again, determined to get into her space.
“Here.” He shoves another glass at her, and she’s pretty sure it wasn’t hers to begin with, but alcohol is sanitary, right? Self-cleaning? She takes a swig. Nice, it’s warm too. “You’re fine.”
“What would you know about how fine or not fine I am?”
Finn raises his eyebrows, smiles wickedly. “I know plenty.”
He takes a long slow drink of his pint, and she can’t tell if he’s deliberately showing off the line of his throat and the bob of his Adam’s apple, but it’s working, God help her. She watches helplessly. She may even be biting her lip a little, damn him.
“What’d you think of the set tonight?” He asks when he’s finished, when she’s looked away.
“Fine.” She scoffs.
“Fine?” He mocks, wrinkling his nose. “That’s it? You can do better than that.”
“Psh. Why, so I can puff up your already over inflated ego?”
Finn laughs, leans over to get right in her face. It’s a challenge, and she’s never done well with letting someone else win. She can play this game, too. She flicks her hair over her shoulder and is rewarded by his swift glance down.
He’s apparently unruffled when he speaks though. “Please, you know you loved it. You were out there jumping around and losing your mind with all the rest of the fans. We’re your favorite band, aren’t we, Rae?”
“Hardly.” She rolls her eyes, does a little leaning in of her own. If he can flirt like a maniac for his own amusement, so can she. “All the great bands in the world, in this town, and you think I give a shit about you? Please.”
“I tell you what,” he holds up a finger as he swiftly downs the rest of his drink. “If you don’t have one of our songs as your freaking ring tone…”
She scoffs again, but her cheeks are turning red. Lean into the flirting, she tells herself, draping a hand languidly on his arm. “You’ll what, Finn? Hmm?”
He licks his lips, slowly, deliberately. She’s transfixed, her own tongue sweeping along her bottom lip in tandem. Shit, he’s way better at the flirting game than she is. There’s no way she’s going to win. He doesn’t answer her question, just tugs his phone out of his back pocket with a knowing grin, getting closer again. She keeps her eyebrows raised, face uncaring as he starts pressing at the screen, painfully slowly. He flicks through, turns the phone to show her a contact screen with her own miniature face sticking her tongue out.
“I’m dialing, Rae.” He warns, holding a finger dangerously over the screen.
She stays impassive, until he presses the button. “Fine!” She huffs, and just as the first few notes start to sound under the table, she lunges over to grab at his phone. He barks a startled laugh and leans back, holding it over his head. He looks smug, victorious, and she can’t have that, so she decides to just go for it. She wriggles to put a knee onto the seat, bending her body completely over him, her chest sliding over his.
He wasn’t expecting that, gets distracted by her boldness, and the game is over in seconds. She grabs his phone, presses end resolutely. She glances down once she’s gotten it, and Finn’s got a hand hovering in the air near her waist. She brushes past him once more to sit back down. He’s all flushed, has to run a hand through his hair. Rae grins, downs the rest of her tepid drink.
“Told ya.” He says, visibly shaking himself, trying to regain the upper hand. She likes him better this way, when he’s rattled, when he’s not quite so smooth.
“Whatever. You make fan sound like such a dirty word. Without fans, you wouldn’t be anything, hotshot.” She shakes her head at him, tries to radiate condescension.
He leans over, drops his arm from the back of the booth down onto her shoulders, twists his fingers in her hair. She shivers involuntarily as a slow, devious grin slips over his face. He bends closer, tips his head towards hers, slides a thumb along the back of her neck.
“You’ll know when I’m trying to make something sound dirty, I promise.” Finn rumbles, sending a hot flush rushing to her skin.
It’s hard to breathe for a second, hard to distinguish what’s air and what’s wanting. When she chances a half-glance at him, he’s biting his bottom lip, smug and collected, and something in her snaps without warning. As fun as this… whatever… between them has been tonight, it’s getting dangerously difficult to keep her head on.
She twists in his arms, turns to face him and bites out, “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight, Nelson.” He laughs, but his cheeks redden and for half a second she thinks, my God, maybe I will.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m drunk, and you’re drunk.” She retorts.
He leans in closer, shaking his glass at her. “I’m not that drunk, Rae.”
He’s so close, he’s blurry, and she thinks that if he kisses her now, it’ll be a waste of all those months of longing because her lips are numb and she won’t feel it.
“Well, I am. And it doesn’t matter anyway, because, because Ha! There are no less than ten girls in this pub right now who’d gladly go home with you.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want any of those girls. There’s only one girl I want.”
She can’t think of a single thing to say. She just gapes, and he reaches in what feels like slow motion to pinch her chin between his thumb and forefinger, closing her mouth. Everything is glacier, fractions of a second ticking by with almost audible clicks. Click, his eyes are hot on her lips. Click, his thumb moves from the corner of her mouth. Click, he’s tugging at the center of her bottom lip. Click, he’s sliding his tongue painstakingly slowly over his own bottom lip. Click, red red red, she can barely breathe. Click, he’s leaning in.
Rae jerks her head away, shakes it firmly. She doesn’t know if she’s shaking no, or if she’s shaking away the haze of the beer and Finn’s touch, or if she’s berating herself for not letting that moment follow through. She keeps shaking, shaking, shaking. No.
“I’m not just another girl, Finn. Another conquest, another bird you can take home and bag. We’re friends, and I won’t be another notch in your bedpost just because you decided you’re bored and I’m available.” She can’t look at him while she says this, says the unkind truth. They all pretend like they don’t see, like Finn’s out there looking for the one real thing like the rest of them. But he’s not, and she can’t allow herself to think otherwise.
Because the truth is, the miserable, sickening truth is… Rae wants him. She wants some of that magnetic pull for herself, wants to peel off his layers, his clothes and his stage persona and run her trembling fingers over everything she finds underneath. She’s wanted him since the first show, when she’d been one more of the stupid screaming girls thrashing about in the pit. And worse even, in the months since she’d first watched him play, she’s come to want more than that. She’s come to want it all.
It’s the worst part of her.
She keeps it tamped down, locked up tight, never to be looked at. She’s practiced willing it away, endlessly; every morning when thoughts of him beckon, every night when the liquor has warmed her up. She can’t give in to it even for a second.
Finn’s been silent for a long moment, and the buzz of the bar has taken over, filling her ears and head. She gives him a sidelong glance, doesn’t commit to turning to see his expression. She watches as he tilts his head up and closes his eyes, and even though she knows him, she can’t guess at what he’s thinking. He glances down at the heavily lacquered surface of the wooden table, always damp and sticky even before the drinks have been poured. And then he looks at her. She averts her eyes quickly, but he impatiently pushes her hair back to look at her face, so she turns and lets him.
“It hasn’t been that way for a long time, Rae. You know that. I don’t do that anymore.” It’s not pleading, it’s too firm, but something in her puts that word to the face he’s making and his tone. His arm is still heavy over her, and he cups her shoulder in his palm. “And, I know perfectly well that you’re not just another girl. Jesus.”
She cocks her head at him, lips thin, no smile to hide. She can’t figure out what that means, what any of this means. She’d thought it was a game, but this isn’t a playful flirtation anymore. It’s something else, and she’s had too much to drink and too many bad thoughts and far, far too much wanting to know what.
Finn takes a long sip from his beer, then shifts on his seat until his knee is pressed against hers, firmly. His arm drops from around her, and she feels too light for gravity for a second, dizzy with flight. Tentatively, eyes holding hers, he reaches down and rubs a finger along the denim at her knee. Rae has to fight not to close her eyes and savor the feeling.
“I’m not bored. Fuck, you really think I’d… No, that’s not important.” He shakes his head, and he’s shooting her that smile she’s seen a thousand times, always directed at a pretty girl with too much bared skin. “I’m not bored at all; this is the most fun I’ve had in ages, riling you up.”
“I’m not riled up.” She pouts automatically. It’s a total lie. She’s so fucking riled up, it’s crazy.
“Sure.” He chortles, and he moves his hand from her knee to press a finger gently against her breastbone, just below the hollow of her throat. She can feel the redness, doesn’t have to look down to see his finger set her skin ablaze. He leans in, laughter warm in his voice, “I like you all riled up.”
She swallows, closes her eyes. She’s trying to tamp down, lock it away, force herself to remember all the girls who’ve fallen prey to this tactic before. Like the blonde from earlier, the one who’s probably glaring daggers by now. Rae wants to look for her, see if Manny’s made his move. She wants to see if the night has worn down to drunk eventualities yet, if the night’s possibilities are gone. But the world has shrunk to this booth, to her and Finn, to the relentlessness of her wanting. She’s got to set it right once more, get it bigger than the two of them.
“Me and all the other girls in this pub.” She manages with some bite, and the edges of her vision start to leak back out to the real world. She knocks back the rest of her beer in relief. “You can’t expect me to fall for this, can you?” She swirls a finger in the air between them. “You’re just a flirt. You were flirting with that girl an hour ago, probably somebody else an hour before that. It’s just my turn.”
“I wasn’t flirting with her, Rae.” He counters quickly, darkly. “She asked me about Toxic Teenage Haze and I answered her, polite as can be. Flirting is very different. Can’t you tell?”
He studies her face for a long moment. She tries to keep it firm, to pretend that she’s not spinning from all this, but she’s not sure what he makes of it. He leans back against the seat, allows some space back between them. He rests an arm on the table top, stretches out to graze the back of her hand.
“Look,” his voice is gruffer, but still soft somehow. She watches as he curls his fingers around her wrist, as he flips her hand over to rub his thumb softly into the cup of her palm. His eyes are dark and warm and insistent when she meets his searching gaze, as they flicker down to look at her mouth and back up again. “Rae, I want you.”
He says it like a secret, like a plea. A gust of air leaves her unbidden, and she can’t help but flutter her eyelids shut. “Finn.” She says, and she can’t tell what it’s intended to mean.
“I want you, Rae. Maybe not tonight, maybe not drunk, but I want you. For real.” Carefully, eyes on hers, he brushes a finger along her jaw. “Have done for a while. I meant to be smoother about all this, tell you proper, but…” He looks down, shakes his head, shoots a dark look towards the bar. “You’re wearing that fucking top, and kissing the damned bartender, and I just lost, lost my senses a bit. Couldn’t dance around it anymore.”
She can’t catch her breath around the aching in her chest. She’s dazed, heavy lidded as she follows his gaze down to her cleavage, and if she wasn’t already so overheated, she’d blush at the exposed skin. He does, when he catches her watching, and somehow the stain on his cheeks makes her catch, makes her able to hang on to this moment, to believe him.
“Finn,” she mutters again, without knowing what will follow.
“Go out with me.” He demands. He’s smiling at her again, with a hint of that sexy smile of his that’s been known to literally make girls swoon.
“Why?” She blurts. She immediately wants to slam her head against the table, but none of her body parts seem to be operating the way they’re supposed to tonight. YES. She yells in her head, FOR FUCKS SAKE, SAY YES. But she can’t, because she’s deeply distrustful of this whole situation.
He cocks his head and considers her for a moment, and she tries to tabulate how much the two of them have had to drink tonight. She loses count when he answers, “Because we have fun together. Because I’ve been thinking kissing you for months. Because I fancy you. Is that enough?”
“You fancy me?” She asks, still skeptical. She thinks her drink count is somewhere around eight, and that’s enough for any or all of this to be purely in her imagination.
Finn twists his mouth up, laughs softly. He picks up her hand and rests it in his lap, toying with her fingers for a minute, sending tingles dancing up her arms. The world seems a bit steadier. His cheeks are pink.
“Look, Rae. Maybe… you don’t see me that way just now. Maybe I’m just your friend, like you said. Maybe you didn’t know we were flirting.” He rolls his eyes, huffs a disbelieving laugh that makes her smile involuntarily. “I think we could be good together, you and me. I think… I like you. Do you think, maybe, you could give it a shot? It’s just one date, and I promise it’ll be a good one.”
He smiles again, and this time it’s different. It’s softer, eager almost. He’s back to regular Finn, irresistible Finn, and she can feel the tension uncoil in her spine. She smiles at her lap, bites her lip.
“Just a date, huh?”
“And a kiss, surely.” He replies, grinning. “I mean, there’s no way I can live without a kiss from you.”
Rae reaches over to pat his cheek. “You’re going to have to, Finnley. Now budge up and let me out, I’ve got to go to the loo.”
He scoots out from the booth, extends a hand to help pull her up when she gets to the end. She’s a little unsteady but Finn laughs, righting her as she stumbles. She shoots him a playful scowl as she walks towards the back of the room. The other four are still dancing, Chloe spinning under Chop’s raised hand, Izzy twirling around them both. The world has continued on normally without them.
“Hey, what about our date?” He calls to her, and she walks backwards as she answers.
“S’pose!”
Thanks for reading, you delightful person, you! Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “PART TWO,” in giant capital letters. And I can tell you this, this is a big story in my head. But there’s no part two in the works at the moment, and there may never be. And even if there is, it’d prob be angst, so fair warning.
