Wait what?

Just me, raw thoughts, over the top feelings, and dead pan humor. It's a personal space, a doorway into my head.

[forthelove-ofscience]

[astronomy-is-awesome]

Nebula Images: http://nebulaimages.com/

Astronomy articles: http://astronomyisawesome.com/

[did-you-know]

Tickling can be such an unpleasant experience that many cultures throughout history have used it as a form of torture. Source

[flogginmoleh]

Firmly believe this!

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

[theemslounge]

Me: “Look at that mechanism of injury!” Them: *looks of horror* - Saber

[flogginmoleh]

Story of my life...😒

[deadpools-girlfriend]

By IG: Thesupermemes

[flogginmoleh]

Girl YES! 😍 Come to me Drogo!

[shezze-blog1]

I’m upset because I want to change the world but the world is too big and people are too mean

[flogginmoleh]

August and After - Wolves (Official Video)

'Wolves' is August and After's first official release as a trio, and was produced by Jonathan Lefèvre-Reich. The video was directed by Davide Marchesi (316 Q...

Mood

[0nly-an-illusi0n]

[cwote]

Believe in yourself. You’ve been through worse; you can get through this :))

[m1nd--0ver--matter]

[wtf-fun-factss]

The most common cause of depression - WTF fun fact

[flogginmoleh]

Into the ether

It’s likely this will go unread. Unnoticed in the massive nebulous cloud that is the internet. That’s ok with me. It’s safe. And if it is noticed, it is by strangers. Another soul out in the ether of this massive collective that makes up this shared cyber universe. 

I am sick. I have been for a long time. And I have neglected this sickness. I’ve ignored it. I’ve buried it. Even pretended it’s existence was really nothing. But damn if I knew better. Mental health awareness and advocacy for it are shattering stigmas attached to all things related to mental health illness. So what was my issue?

God...

I hate myself. 

Even writing those stupid three words...it just sucks. And they hold so much power over my life, my emotions. My well being. I want so much to just say I am going through a sad spot in my life right now. But I know this is so much worse than that. This is not something that is going to fade away with the coming warmer weather. I won’t just snap out of this...

My emotions are so hard to control anymore. I find myself irritable and instantly full of intense anger where I was once calm and the rational voice of reason. Sure, on the surface I have maintained that calm and rational exterior...but just below still waters...

And all of this is such a culmination of a massive shit sandwich I have been served over the last 30 years. And god I hate people who play the victim in life! They frustrate me. I want to shake them and scream at them while they wallow in their self pity and beg for more from those around them. So I have buried all of this fuckery that has happened over my life. I have continued to dust the crap off my knees, put on a brave face, and keep moving forward. I mean...that’s what you do...right?

Today I got a diagnosis from a psychiatrist after they asked for a brief history of my life and what are some things that have potentially contributed to my feelings of apathy and depression. She told me I have an extreme case of PTSD from multiple traumas. 

And so here I am. Doing the only thing I know how to do that helps me. Writing. Spilling my demons out through meaningless keystrokes on a laptop. 

My apologies for those that followed me in the distant past for more...cheerful...posts. I guess I am letting down you as well as the posts on here will change in tone until the storm clouds part and this elephant steps off my chest. 

#PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth

[bottom-fraggot]

Having inferior Si problems?

Can’t develop a routine?

Have no fear ENXPs!

Just develop a crippling drug addiction!

You will visit your dealer enough to set his watch by.

[we-are-star-stuff]

This galaxy is pretty much all black hole

As a rule of thumb, the more massive a black hole is, the bigger its surrounding galaxy will be. That’s why there’s something so fundamentally wrong about NGC 1277, a tiny galaxy home to possibly the biggest black hole yet.

Galaxy NGC 1277 is only about a tenth the size of our Milky Way. That isn’t ridiculously tiny for a galaxy - our galactic neighbor the Large Magellanic Cloud is only a hundredth our size, for instance - but it does mean that its black hole should be significantly smaller than Sagittarius-A*, the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy. And that emphatically isn’t the case. The black hole at the center of NGC 1277 is thought to be about 17 billion times as massive as our Sun, compared to just about 4.3 million solar masses for Sagittarius-A*.

What’s more, the NGC 1277 black hole takes up a volume whose diameter is 4 light-days across, meaning it spans a distance over 338 times that of the diameter of Earth’s orbit around the Sun. Even Neptune’s outermost orbit, with a diameter of 8.3 light-hours, is still less than a tenth of the black hole’s diameter. 

The average supermassive black hole only makes up about 0.1% of its galaxy’s overall mass - not an unimpressive figure, but a good reminder that there’s still plenty of galaxy out there that isn’t black hole. Not so much the case in NGC 1277, as its black hole makes up a whopping 14 percent of the galaxy’s total mass.

The question now is just how this remarkable discovery fits into our overall understanding of black holes and galaxy formation. This is so outside what we’ve encountered before that our current models can’t really account for it, but that may simply mean our models are incomplete.

[commie-pinko-liberal-blog]

[flogginmoleh]

This a thousand times! Kick the money hungry buffoons out, and let's put in some great minds!

[phroyd]

Lagoon Nebula

[flogginmoleh]

Swimming in a sea of stars...