Unfiltered Quotes

Real things said or heard. No context. I'm not sorry.

[floridamanofquotes]

"Chickens are nature's fruit juice."

- unknown coworker

[floridamanofquotes]

"Why are you drinking juice out of a wine glass?" - D

"Because I wanna feel fancy after having a shit day, now leave me to my depression juice." - C

[rodentchild]

"A caterpillar is just a worm with dreams."

-- history professor

[rodentchild]

“Life is too short; wear funky socks and read banned books.”

— some english teacher (saw my socks and said this without prompt)

[floridamanofquotes]

"I am rich in dead memes!"

-- Scott N.

[floridamanofquotes]

"I will scream if I touch mayonnaise."

-- Jake B

[floridamanofquotes]

*touches paint and gasps* JeLlY!

-- Ari N

[floridamanofquotes]

"We must hear the message from the Apple Gods."

-- Jake B

[floridamanofquotes]

"Dumbo's not scary, it's just racist."

-- Zach S

[follow-in-darkness-deactivated2]

For every reblog there is, another day I'll hold off on giving up...I guess...

[official-lucifers-child]

*reblogs*

reblogs again*

*reblogs again with a different blog*

*continues reblogging*

[mymyfangirlsidedontlie]

*smashes reblog button*

[floridamanofquotes]

"Nothing is binary and everything is gay, you ignorant bitch."

-- @asofterfan

[floridamanofquotes]

"And you were testicles."

-- Reece O

[floridamanofquotes]

"No one gets the puff now."

-- Charlie B

"Why, 'cause I took a shit?"

-- Reese O

[floridamanofquotes]

You can’t come in here and violate my dog!

Paige G

[floridamanofquotes]

"I will go ham on some lasagne."

-- Jessica D

[floridamanofquotes]

"What if the pill bugs are terrified of Spongebob and Patrick?"

-- Mike M

[floridamanofquotes]

"He hibachied his ass."

-- Emily S