Things I've Heard or Said as Prompts Part 26
"I did not sign up to see monkey dick!"
"Last I checked you ain't my mama and you ain't God, so don't you fuckin' yell at me like it!"
"You look like you haven't been laid since pre-sliced bread was invented."
"Everybody who would've been my emergency contact is either in this room or dead."
"I whistled at the Roomba like it was my dog. I need to touch grass."
"He's not a good person, but goddamn he's hot."
"They're freaks in a different flavor."
"You don't have a gallbladder, you don't get to answer!"
"I'm not having an existential breakdown, I just need a sandwich!"
"Stop fingering the bread, you maniac!"
"Motherfucker I am dead, how can I help you?!"
"How good does that feel?" "Bad. It feels bad."
"I'm not about to piss off the lesbians, they'll kill me!"
"Fuck you, I am a likeable person!"
"The next time I hear you say 'It didn't catch on fire so we should be fine' I'm going to hit you in the head with a brick."
"No, no, no, witches turning people into animals is for when they feel some moral obligation to take the high road to keep someone quiet. I'll just kill you."
"You seem like the kind of guy I'd trust my drink around."
"You dress like you think empathy is a weakness."
"Is this an 'I'm sorry' or a 'Congratulations' moment?"
"AI? AI?! YOU THINK I'M AI?!! HOW DARE YOU, YOU LIMP DICK NONCREATIVE MOTHERFUCKING CRETIN!!!"
"The more I learn about your life, the more I hate your dad."
"No, no more lore drops about your life! I'm still not over whatever the fuck "Sword Jenga" is!"
"This twink is mewing too hard."
"My socks have stayed firmly on my feet."
"We don't know if that's racist! I'm Schrodinger's racist!"
"They may not be fucking, but they be smooching!"
"Girlypop, I think you're SOL."
"Why are you getting horny over calculus?"
"My whole mission when I dress every day is to outdo myself in levels of faggotry."
"I'm at baguette height now."
stormborns
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