Flowers and Flattery

Send u an ask with a flower emoji and the Side u want at the beginning of your message. Of course u can ask for more than one. Our Virgil will be on vacation for four weeks. We will announce it here when he is back :)

[flowersandflattery]

my mom thinks that just because i'm comfortable around my friends means that i don't have social anxiety and i just feel kind of out of it right now. can i get some comfort from roman or patton? (or virgil if he's back from vacation) 💐🌹💐

(hey, it’s virge, I’m not officially back but I think I got this one)

Look, moms are gonna be moms, and sometimes that means that they just won’t understand some thing (even if that complete bullshit). Your validity is not dependent on her ignorant opinions, okay? If you’re still feeling out of it, try centering yourself around something and focusing on it, to ground yourself.

Remember that you’re amazing, and that you’re loved, and that your friends have your back. Keep breathing, you can get through this. 

- Virgil

[flowersandflattery]

Lately I've been feeling... useless. A waste of space. I feel bad, because I'm almost 20 and I still don't know what I want to do or what I want to be and it scares me so much. And I know my anxiety probably makes me overthink everything I do, and I want to open up to my friends about it, but... what if I annoy them? They have their own problems, why should I burden them with mine? I... maybe some comfort from Roman or Patton? Sorry for bothering you. 🥀

Hey kiddo, first and foremost let me tell you that you aren’t a burden. Now let me tell you that you are not useless or a waste of space. You’re young kiddo, I know there are people who expect you to grow up already, but growing up doesn’t have a time limit. Growing up is an adventure that you can decide the destination. Even if you don’t know what it is yet, it’s all about the journey. Enjoy being able to live life and do anything you want. You will find the job you want eventually, but right now that’s not as important as discovering yourself. And remember, no matter what happens, your happy pappy Patton loves ya kiddo

[flowersandflattery]

Hi, writers block/perfectionist anon, I wanted to thank Roman for his help, I haven't been on in a while so I hadn't seen it but I'll make sure I try just letting myself write when I get some time. I also have a newer question, though. I've been debating making a blog to post my writing and drawing and composing and stuff, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I've never shown those things to people before, so I don't know how they'd react. If it's ok to bother Roman again, if not Patton? 💠

My darling you where never a bother for me! Let me know if my suggestions didn’t work and you need further help.

As for your new question...Do it! Sharing your art is beautiful. I know how scary it can be to put yourself out there. I did it myself and i was anxious at well but also so so so excited *beams at you* and the Fanders are the nicest people ever trust me. If you make the blog please let me know how its called i will definetly look at it! *conjures and puts a white moonflower into your hair*

[flowersandflattery]

So I’ve always been confused about my sexuality. I’m only 16, but it seems like everyone else has everything figured out. And I want to be able to define myself but I just ... I don’t know what that definition is. And with Pride month just ending I feel even more confused. Help? 🌼

*whirls into the room and ends in a dramatic pose* My lovely smoll bean don’t fear for Roman is here!

Please don’t pressure yourself. Some people have it all figured out yes. They seem to know from the beginning what they want and thats okay. But for some people romance, gender and sexuality is like a quest their heart goes on. Sometimes you think you've figured it all out but at 40 you suddenly notice you haven’t.Thats absolutly okay. The heart wants what the heart wants just take your time *conjures a daisy and puts it into your hair smiling* You’re perfect just the way you’re, take your time to bloom! Talk to people or read about the topics. I know how much it can hurt when you want to define yourself but you can’t. A really informative Youtube channel is Ash Hardell. If you need some help you can always contact me.

[flowersandflattery]

hi! may i have some advices from roman please? i have been part of several drama clubs over the years and i really love it, it makes me so happy. however, recently it started making me anxious and dysphoric bc i keep being cast as female parts even tho im enby. it's gotten so bad i left rehearsals in tears or even skipped. i want to be part of a new club next year, but i'm terrified it will be the same thing all over again. should i still join even tho i know it will make me dysphoric?🌻

(drama dysphoric anon again 🌻) i should add that i know for a fact that the drama club i want to join will ALWAYS cast me as a girl. i cant negotiate around it, it’s unavoidable

What the heckity heck i shall fight them *angry prince noises* ! Your identity is valid this *frustrated prince noises jumping around*!

Im so sorry you feel so bad in this situation. Im so sorry this poisons something you love. *hugs you thight and conjures a balloon flower for you* Youre valid, youre beautiful and so so brave!

Is it really no possibility to talk to someone about this issue? Or joining another drama club where they accept your identity? If you join is it an option to drop out again if the dysphoria gets to much?

[flowersandflattery]

🌺Hi, I was wondering if Roman could help with creative block? Like I want to write or draw or do something but all I can do is sit here and stare at my screen and it's starting to drive me kinda crazy. And I know it's all in my head but I just have this insane fear that writing is just some sort of waste of my time and I should be doing something productive instead but I love it so I can't just leave it, ya know? Okay sorry to bother you I'll go now. Love you ❤🌺

*plopps into existense behind you with a soft whoosh* Youre never a bother to us my love!!! Dont you fear creativity is here *does a dramatic pose*!

Listen here my love time used for things you enjoy are never wasted. *smiles and lays my hand on your shoulder* How is creating your own worlds not productive my love? Just try it for me okay? If you wanna draw just do some silly scribbles for me. If you want to write just type some words out for me. It can be abstract. It doesnt matter just create okay? *conjures a daisy and puts it into your hair* Next time you feel like the screen is starring back at you imagine me like this. Standing behind you. We got this okay? 

[flowersandflattery]

Hi, I came out recently and it didn’t really turn out good my family likes enforcing the she/her pronouns on me and I really made me feel frustrated and sad. May I have some kind words from Roman and Patton maybe? 💐

*whirls into the room* How dare they I shall fight them *dramatic pose and wraps you protective in my arms* I’m so sorry my love! Im so sorry they dont respect you the way youre. Its valid to be frustrated and sad over this. Dont forget your identity is valid my friend. And you will find people who will accept this and encourage you. Just know we do! And i will fight everyone who claims anything different *conjures a camellia for you and holds it towards you with a bow and a smile* just hold onto the people who use the pronouns that feel right to you. Dont ever hesitate to shoot us another ask my love!

[flowersandflattery]

🌺 Hello its the emotion hideing anon from a little back and I seem to have a predicament in that I have been trying to open up to the people around me about my issues but the thing is I now feel worst because I have been bottling my emotions for a good long while so I know it's probably better in the long run but it's hard to want to open up about things when it feels like it hurts more to think about these things. Logan any advice?

Hello anon. 

First and foremost, I would like to say that I am extremely proud of you for trying to be more open. That is a big step, but you’ll be able to do it. 

Now then *straightens tie* when it comes down to being open, it is important to start small. Choose one person you’re very comfortable with and trust and start by opening up to them. This will help make it easier when talking to others and help you figure out how you might want to talk about things. 

Since you’re starting to open up, it might hurt more to talk about it in the beginning. But as you become more confident in telling others and more comfortable sharing your feelings it will become easier and less painful to an extent. Just keep trying and you’ll get there. 

I hope this was helpful, please feel free to reach out again at any time. 

[flowersandflattery]

🌸 Hello! I have a bit of a dilemma. My bestie and I think the world of each other and she is just an awesome, caring, kind, supportive person. The only problem is, she's extremely extroverted whereas I'm a lot more introverted. Whenever we hang out, it's for 8+ hours at a time and I get really drained from that much interaction. I'm finding myself more and more reluctant to arrange hangouts, despite how much I love seeing her and I'd hate to lose her as a friend. Do any of you have any advice?

Greetings anon. 

With this dilemma, arranging more “laid back” hang out session could help. This could include staying in and watching movies, going to an event where people are expected to quiet more often than not (plays, movies, etc.) Or just shorting some of the hang out sessions so you have a chance to recharge and relax. 

We’ve found these can help whenever Virgil and Roman try to spend tine together, and hopefully they will benefit you as well. *nods and adjusts glasses* Pleas feel free to reach out again at any point. 

[flowersandflattery]

💐 I'm having a tough time feeling motivation to do anything. I can't even get myself to do things I want to do. Could Roman help me out a bit?

Do not fear for creativity is here *swirls around and bows before you with a wink*!

Sometimes there are times in our lifes where we get like that. Where we loose our spark of passion *dramatic gestures*! Maybe try to figure out why it is like this? What triggers you my dear friend? Maybe meditate? Remember again why you loved doing the things you want to do? Why do you want to do them honey? *conjures a begonia for you* I can feel it, you have it in you. I believe in you dont give up!

[flowersandflattery]

🌻something from Patton would be lovely right now-i’m going to have to spend the weekend at a cottage with the person who assaulted me. it still gives me flashbacks and panic attacks and worse, I won’t have data, so I can’t message my partner or any of my friends for support. I’m terrified and I don’t know what to do.

Hey kiddo, this situation is definitely scary, and I know it’s gonna be a challenge for you, but I also know that you are strong enough to handle this. Try to find some methods to help with the panic attacks, breathing exercises and such ( here’s a list of breathing exercises https://www.google.com/amp/s/greatist.com/happiness/breathing-exercises-relax/amp ) Also here’s a link for the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise http://www.therapistsb.com/blog/post/5-4-3-2-1-coping-techniqueThese should help you with anxiety and your panic attacks, but more than that, you should find ways to help avoid your abuser. If there’s a family member or another person going that you know you can trust, ask them to stay by your side especially when your abuser is around. If there’s ever a situation where you think or you know you might end up alone with the abuser, excuse yourself as soon as you can. There is no reason for you to be alone with them kiddo. Please be safe kiddo, being around an abuser is scary and dangerous, but I know you are strong and you will survive this weekend.And always remember Patton loves ya kiddo.

[flowersandflattery]

So, I’m going to do a BioMed Course at Drexel at the end of July and while I’m super excited I’m also extremely nervous because I’m going to be staying in Philly alone for that week (I live on Long Island, so it’s a bit far away) and so naturally I’m debating if I should even do this and some words from Logan would be great to here right now. 🌼💙

Greetings anon, 

This is an amazing opportunity for you, and the chance to study at a very good university and to study something as sophisticated as BioMed is one that is not always easy to come by. That being said, this is something you may not want to miss out on. 

It is okay to be nervous. It is always nerve wracking to go somewhere new and unfamiliar, however you should not let that fear cancel out the excitement you feel towards this. If you *adjusts tie* “duck out” and let this pass you, then it could be something you come to regret in the future. 

There is still time before the trip. If you are nervous being away for so long, you could ease you way into by practicing being more independent or staying with others for a day or two at a time until you are more comfortable being away from home. And always remember that a comforting voice is just a phone call away. 

I hope this is satisfactory *pushes up glasses* please feel free to come back at anytime.

[flowersandflattery]

🥀 uh, i know that you guys are really busy with asks, and i wanted to say thank you? for everything you all do bc its a lot can be stressful so thank you. but,, i dont really wanna bother you but i dont really have anyone else im comfortable with talking to but uh,, i feel like a bad datemate sometimes bc i want to be on call with friends instead of her,, i cant shake the feeling im doing wrong bc of past experiences,, maybe i can get some support from Patton? or anyone available im sorry -cdn

Hey kiddo, let me tell you a thing about relationships. They can be tricky. There are many little things that you may or may notice, but two things that help make a relationship successful are balance and communication. You re not a bad datemate for wanting to hang out with your friends more than her at times. Your datemate shouldn’t ever come between you and your friends and vice versa. And if you still want to spend time with your friends and your datemate wants to be with you, you can all hang out together. You can let the two worlds collide. And remember, a true friend thinks you’re a good egg even if you’re slightly cracked. With communication, anything that is important to you that you think about the relationship should be discussed with your datemate. If you think you aren’t spending enough time with her, ask her. See if she feels the same. You will have the occasional concern but if you don’t voice that concern, you’ll never know how your datemate feels.All in all kiddo, it seems like you have a very healthy relationship with your datemate. Considering you worry about these things, it shows that you want to be the best datemate you can be, and that is amazing. Just remember to keep the balance and communicate. I believe you two make a Gouda couple

[flowersandflattery]

🌻Wondering if I could have some love from Roman, I’ve been feeling very tired and in artistic lately.... and I’ve just been super anxious and stuff, like I’m shaking a lot... thanks.

*whirls into the room* Im always here to give love! Can you feeeeeeeeeeeeeel the looooooooooove toooniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight??? *burst dramatically into the song*

Why dont you shake it off shake it off *bursts into another song* seriously join me *grabs you by your hands laughing and pulls you up to dance with you* Dont force it! Music seriously could be a good way to shake it all off! Take deep breaths. I know it sounds small but its such a difference! Art is passion art is fun dont forget to love it! *beams at you* And for the anxiety if you need help with that let me know! *conjures a crocus for you* I love you honey so go and do some art to make your heart happy!

[flowersandflattery]

🌸 Hi so I'm going to a different therapist than my normal one (insurance issues) about my self harm problem, and my parents are going to be in the room with me. I'm not as comfortable opening up when they're in there bc my dad will make that disappointed face and won't talk the entire time and my mom will keep saying stuff like "you can always come to us!! You don't have to feel this way!!" And generally making me feel bad about not coming to them and I'm scared can roman help me thank you

Ah another brave fighter! Im so proud of you my darling! Dont feel like you dissapoint. Youre strong. It doesnt matter if you fail. You can loose a fight if you win the battle! Its okay to stumble important is that you try! And going to therapy is the right course. Im so proud you go there! Im so proud you fight. Youre truly admirable. Im sure the therapist will be able to help you with this. Let them know how your parents make you feel. Its truly amazing they help you get help and try to help you but its probably also good if they know how they could improve!

Please dont ever hesitate to reach out for us! Here *conjures a vibrant gladious for you* these symbolise strenght. They have their name from the Gladiotors from old Roman *winks and smiles at you* who fought for their freedom! A flower worth you! Let us know if it went well! You got this my darling *bows before you*

[flowersandflattery]

🌷🌷hi yes I know I keep sending you things and you're probably sick of me (because I'm sick of me and so are people irl) but I just... Can't... Tonight??? Like I tried but now I'm crying in my bed because I just HATE the way I look and I just HATE that even though I'm expected to be an adult I'm not given adult privileges or rights??? It doesn't make sense because people treat me like a child, unless they need me to act like an adult (most of the time) and I'm confused and sad and angry help me

We could never get sick of you my love and neither should be you or people in rl. *carefully wraps you in a blanked* its okay to cry. its okay to let go of the pressure. I dont hate the way you look im sure youre absoluty gorgeous just the way youre! 

And yes that really sounds unfair. I dont know if it could be a possibility for you to talk to the adults around you? That you dont feel respected with the way they treat you? Its okay to be upset and its okay to be angry. Just dont never forget you slay, youre gorgeous royality and we all love you! Please dont ever hesitate to send us another ask my love! *conjures a confloower for you*

[flowersandflattery]

🌺 uhh, hi. So I'm currently stuck in the biggest amount of dysphoria I've ever felt in my life and it's really making me feel a lot more depressed than I already was. It's making me feel like I could tear my chest open at any moment! I don't exactly know who I need, just that I need something that could cheer me up or something. Hopefully I don't bother you guys.

*appears with a soft whoosh* You could never bother any of us! *wrapps you in a blanket* Please dont rip your chest open. We should leave that for the dragon witch right? *smiles and sits down with you*  

Im so sorry you have to go through that. As Logan already said maybe big clothes could help? As for me i think its important to do alot of selfcare and trust me i know how hard that can be. But please just try okay? Cause youre worth it. Youre worth every piece of love and care and acceptance. Just dont give up okay? It will get better and youre such a brave and lovely human my love *gives you a carnation and hugs you* please contact us again if we can help in anyway!