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[caged4lyz]

Every Chastity Caging Session is a Journey.  A Travel Guide to Keyholders

What makes Caging your man so special is the resulting energy dynamic between you.  The interaction is key for both partners, it is what enriches the experience and the relationship.  For the Keyholder to maximize the pleasure (both ways) and control (one way), it is important for her/him to understand what her sub is experiencing.

I think many assume that Day 1 is like Day 3 is like Day 7 is like….except more horny.  My experience has been much richer than that.  Like anything in life that takes days or weeks, a Caging session is a journey. Day 1 is different from Day 3 is different from Day 7 is different from Day 21….

My perspective includes a decade of Caging and Denial sessions of three weeks or more. Throughout these sessions I have noticed a recurring cycle of emotions and physical challenges that each one brought to me. I assume each caged sub experiences something similar and, as his Keyholder, your working to understand his unique cycle will significantly amplify the experience.  And every Keyholder wants her sub to crave being caged. 

In this blog, I want to highlight the mental and physical journey that each locked session brings to me.  I will summarize them by ‘Day locked’ number.  For me, it is a very similar sequence each time, with some minor shifting of transition dates.  It is my hope that I can inspire Keyholders to understand her/his sub a bit better and take full advantage of him.  

I will talk about where my energy focus is at each stage, as it shifts in my body.  There may be some correlation to the Chakras of Indian philosophy, which I know nothing about. 

Full disclosure, I am moderately submissive, nothing approaching Sissy.  But I find caging pushes me to a deliciously submissive state; it is why I love it.  If left alone, I have a ‘once every third day’ sex/masturbate schedule.  If your guy needs sex more frequently, i.e. daily, I assume that will alter his cycle significantly.  But I assume the sequence of the cycle, i.e the energy shifts,  will be similar.

Day 1.  A day of possibility and unknown.  Always exciting, always special.  That first lock click always brings a smile.

Day 3.  Day three is my ‘want sex’ day and the cage seriously multiplies that urge.  Horny.  And very centered in my crotch.  This energy and feeling increases through the first week.  I am revved up horny, my groin is screaming, I feel aggressive.  I am a walking, talking cock.  Go easy on him this cycle, be sexy, touch him a little, but give him time to cool down.

Day 7.  Day 7 +/- 1 day is my first transition point.  Suddenly the energy has moved into my head.  I am horny, but my crotch is calm.  My brain is excited, full of fantasies and lust.  This is a lovely time for cat and mouse play.  Play with his mind, not his cock.  Tease his brain with scenarios, stories, porn he likes, how you will take him, etc.  This is when you sink the hook.  This period lasts about a week or more for me.  It is very excited pleasure.

Day 14.  Somewhere around the second or third week, Days 14-21, the energy shifts again, this time to my heart.  This is the ‘I love her madly’ zone.  This is what you, as Keyholder, are aiming for.  In this phase, I will do anything to please her.  Anything.  With no expectation.  I am horny but calmly so.  This is when the horny becomes submission.  I have surrendered totally to her now.  Slow, physical teasing in this phase is incredible.  Every touch is amazing.  A few nipple twists later I am a puddle.  This is my sweet spot and I could live here forever. And for the Keyholder, this is when you get full and exqusite control.  Daily oral orgasms on are the menu.

Day 21 and onward.  Eventually the energy settles in my abdomen.  I am calm, happy, subservient, devoted, cooperative.  But now is when the physical limitations of denial creep in.  My balls get sore, my nights are interrupted with massive cage crushed erections.  It becomes a physical challenge.  Big time Blue Balls.  

To go further, you have to tough it out, hope for a wet dream or take charge of it.  Prostate massage is a lovely way to reduce the pressure without orgasm.  Getting carefully pegged can accomplish the same.  I still remember the first time I dripped, dribbled and, ultimately poured myself out on the floor while Mistress slowly pegged me from behind.  If you can solve the physical needs, you can ride the wave as long as you like.  

Happy to answer inquiries.  Good luck managing your boys.

[lovethoughtfulcollectionpainter]

The Taboo of Male Chastity

Male chastity is one of those things that is often judged before being understood. Just the idea of locking a device onto a males sex organ, so he can’t get an erection or play with himself, often turns both genders off the idea. It’s like looking in on a bdsm scene for the first time without any knowledge that it’s consensual and being creeped out. However, the taboo is created only out of misunderstanding of what it actually is, and what it actually does.

Male chastity, in it’s most basic sense, is abstinence. It’s just a device that aids a male to remain abstinent for his partner while giving her the authority to decide if and when his abstinence ends.  So chastity combined with her authority, just makes abstinence more fun, it makes it something difficult to endure, resulting in much deeper intimacy. It’s also something that trains him to overcome all of his lust, and focus his attention not on his selfish desires, but on hers. It makes chastity the perfect tool for developing a sex life that works both ways and creates a very satisfied female partner, and a very happy attentive male.

The honor system can work, but generally it takes a lot more work, and many more accidents along the way. Tease and denial without chastity is definitely possible, and can be a lot of fun. However, chastity does add an extra dimension, because it is a device that is wrapped around his genitals, and grips him gently all day long, reminding him often of his sacrifice for her. It serves to keep her on his mind, which makes him automatically more romantic, more chivalrous, kind, thoughtful, and overall, far less argumentative. His sexual release being conditional upon her approval, keeps him in constant devotion to her.  This can really show the difference between the honor system, and using chastity.

The idea that chastity is unsafe and unhygienic is often a concern that puts many off. When done right, and when fitted properly, a male can pee, and keep clean, with minimal removals. This might take a bit of time to get used to, but the better the fit, or even a custom device, and hygiene is not a problem. Neither is safety, because once it fits right, it will not deter him from doing any activity, including swimming, going to the gym, or riding a bicycle. One major concern is that it shrinks the penis over time.  This is a myth that can never be proven because the penis cannot shrink, just like it cannot be enlarged. The reason for this is because the penis is not a muscle, it is a sponge that fills with blood. After a while in the cage, it gets used to only being able to fill with blood a small amount, and like a sponge, it conforms to the size it’s allowed. Many instances on the internet show a submissive’s penis getting progressively smaller using chastity. This is true only to the extent that he keeps wearing small devices and never allows for a full erection.  Once the cage is removed, after a few days or weeks, the penis will naturally begin to grow back to its usual size. So yes, it can shrink it, but only if it’s never allowed to grow to its normal size.

Chastity is meant to be fun. It’s really not meant to be a method of sexual denial. It’s meant to be a tool that helps a male deny himself for her. Most males lack the self control, and after a few days, the temptation gets too great and results in gratification. Chastity can really help with this, where the temptation is removed simply because the device reminds him that he’s not allowed to give in to temptation. It becomes a great tool for helping a male conquer lust and develop self control over his own sexual urges. This helps him become a better man, and have more respect for women in general, especially his partner.

Male chastity actually has a long history, and if you look back in time, men have used chastity for hundreds of years. They understood the power of sexual energy, and how it can be used for spiritual exploration, and enhancing and nourishing the physical body for endurance in all things. Many athletes to this day practice abstinence and use their sexual energy to help them win over the competition. Men have also used chastity to bring sexual energy upwards through their body, to cleanse their body of negative energy and old habits, as well as to give themselves multiple, non-ejaculatory orgasms extending throughout their whole body. There is a whole lot men can learn from their sexual energy when it’s directed in ways beyond ejaculation. Chastity teaches submissive males this, and it brings them much more in touch with their body, and as a result more in touch with their partners.

When a couple within a female led relationship can see beyond the taboos of male chastity and try it for themselves, then tend to never go back. There is a huge following now, a new trend that is rising, because of male chastity. The benefits speak for themselves, and the more males come in touch with their bodies, the more they understand about their partner creating harmony. It’s worth trying, even for fun as an experiment, just to attempt to understand it.

Many males fear that going into chastity, and giving up that much control, means that sex will occur less often, but that’s not true at all. Chastity actually sexually charges the relationship, and helps her to develop her own desire, which is something few women ever do. To really explore her desire, and know it’s okay, guilt free, and encouraged by her partner to do so. This sexual charge, combined with her desire, means there will likely be a lot more sex. It’ll just be a different kind of sex, which a submissive male will come to love. He may not get let out of his cage each time, but he’s going to discover the true value of giving pleasure. It will cater directly to his submissive desire, which will bring him deeper into subspace, that alone will automatically be more powerful than a sexual release for him. He will come to love that depth of subspace, through giving pleasure, far more than being released from it. It will make him crave to give pleasure even more.

Eventually he will reach a point where he craves to give pleasure, more than his own sexual release. He will feel naked without his chastity device on, as a symbol of his submission to her. In the end that’s all chastity becomes, a symbol that he is dedicated to her, devoted to her, and loves her without any selfishness. It’s a beautiful symbol and many female led relationship have discovered it’s beauty, and have incorporated it into their lifestyle and never look back.

[sashacoki]

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