Bioshock Shitposts

[fontainefuckerys]

There are a lot of BaS things that make me angry but one of the smaller, yet even more frustrating points is: you literally have to visit a record store nearby Cohen. Would it be so hard to just use THE FUCKING RECORD STORE OWNER SILAS COBB?

In general... there have been so many possibilities of using characters we know and love from the first game (yes Mr. Levine we know you hate the second one I dont expect you to act as if those characters existed as well in your universe so of course they are not in it) but like... I would have loved to see Jasmines poster in higher definition for example.

[fontainefuckerys]

Cohens Collection of finest boys

Fitzi is @nephilimcosplay

Cobb is me

[fontainefuckerys]

Cant stop thinking about Diane and Julie Langford for some reason?

In the book Diane liked reading and educating herself a lot. It didn't seem like she did it to be on Ryans intellectual level, she really seemed to enjoy it.

And can you imagine how cute it would be if Julie would talk about her plants 24/7, going in details about them and Diane just looking all fascinated, maybe even making notes because she is so struck by how passionate Julie is? And Julie would be so glad to have someone who actually listens to her, values her knowledge and appreciates her?

And Julie is patient with her, uses a language that is easy to follow and explains technical terms to her without sounding condescending? Maybe she gets annoyed by Diane making mistakes, but she would never yell at her. She would explain it again, maybe from a different perspective without blaming Diane for not knowing or forgetting.

Diane grows so much because she learns a whole new world of responsibility and passion, something all of Ryans money couldnt give her. She would admire Julie for being this headstrong and determined in a world who barely gives her credit for the science and art she practices. Julie would cherish the way Diane looks at her, not needing the validation but definetly enjoying it. Diane inspires her to look at her work from a different perspective again, giving her new motivation to expand her knowledge by asking questions constantly. But Julie would answer every single one of them, talking for five minutes straight while Diane takes all the knowledge in.

All the Bioshock 1&2 minor characters are so inspiring im so sad they don't get the attention they deserve

[fontainefuckerys]

[fontainefuckerys]

Okay but the women of Rapture.

Can we take a moment to talk about how wonderful they were. And how much they deserved something like birds of prey was for suicide squad?

The writing just makes me wanna table flip.

So example: Diane McClintock.

She was straight up a boring clichee pretty Girl Andrew Ryan had picked up from some bar where she was working (if I got that right from the book) and did his "I promise you heaven on earth if only you follow me and ill be passionate about it and nothing else" thing on her and she was impressed. Impressed by his strong character, his determination, his Charisma, his passion. She wanted to be less the empty pretty girl and more like him. She followed him blindly, loved him truly just to become nothing more than an accessory for social gatherings as soon as his interest had worn off. He made her his secretary after Elaine, his former secretary, decided for Bill and a family with him. (Bless them so much)

I assumr he didnt pick her because she was suited for this position, but simply because she was somewhat of his girlfriend and he could profit from that. And poor naive Diane probably still thought he believed in her, wanted to open doors for her, wanted to help her become successful as well, grow as a person.

I dont even wanna know what she thought about the "Jasmine Jolene Ryans favorite gal" posters all over Rapture. She still had the status of his girlfriend, attended dinner etc. With him. And then she gets him cheating on her pushed in her face all over Rapture? Ouch.

Then, New Years Eve 1959. The attack. She got severely injured and her mother fucking boyfriend couldn't make time in his busy schedule of martinis before 3 to visit her ONCE. Fucking ONCE.

So she tried to fix her face up, hoping Ryan would like her again like that. This woman had such a low self esteem at this point that she felt like the accident was something SHE was sorry for and had to work on so he would like her again.

In that one echo Ryan said something about suspecting her to have an affair with J.S. Steinman. At this point who could be mad at her honestly. Plus in the book it was written how he thought about whom of his friends he could pass her on to. Too much of a coward to just break up with her he tried to PASS HER ON LIKE DAMN SECOND HAND CLOTHING. FUCKS SAKE ANDY.

Okay okay focus focus.

So after he cheated on her publicly, dodged her as good as possible, didnt even visit her in hospital she was still on his side. She still supported him and his dream.

What made her turn on Ryan wasnt how he treated her. It was how he treated other people. And if that doesn't make her a good person who deserves a good ending I dont know who does. Oh WAIT. NO. THEY KEPT FUCKING HER OVER.

Okay so Diane finally notices what her fucktard of a boyfriend truly is and decided to join the resistance against him.

Diane-Naive-Pretty-Misstress-McClintock actually decided to "fuck everything" and just fight her ex and his stupid capitalism with firearms. Like I pictute her having the most pampered life ever, yet she just decides to fight for those people. Not because she had to. Not because Atlas payed her or something. She just decided to do the right thing in her eyes.

Im literally so emotional right now I feel like that is such a power move and I think we should worship her.

And this is where I'm getting angery at the writers for real.

This was such a nice plot. Such a good twist. 10/10 unpredictable, badass, breathtaking, show stopping... you know where im going.

But they decided "Nah were gonna let her seem like the bitch who sucked up to the both most powerful men and then get killed off just like that."

Why.

WHY?

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

It wasnt relevant to the plot, it didn't show more in depth about any character.

Whoever scripted this i just wanna talk....

Besides. Even if she knew that Atlas was Fontaine, and I dont think she had met Fontaine in person often enough to recognize his voice from a few words, but even IF she knew. Fucking Andrew Ryan traumatized her so much she probably would have high fived him about it.

I mean it wouldn't have fit his character to let her live, I get that but...

SHE JUST DIDNT DESERVE TO GET KILLED OFF BY ONE POWERHUNGRY GREEDY BASTARD AFTER SHE JUST ESCSPED ANOTHER ONE. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?!

Remember when I said I'd talk about the women of Rapture? Here we have an essay about one of them alone and im angry enough to fistfight Ryans entire security and Atlas on my own.

So if you wanna chat with me about wholesome Diane headcanons or rage about it or I dont fucking know just please talk to me I need to talk about her okay?

Also I feel like my English gets worse the more emotional I get so you're welcome to read this in my aggressive German accent.

[fontainefuckerys]

@ Andrew Ryan if you're still down there please consider casting the Nestlé CEO for your city I feel like you two would get along