How do i let go of someone who i am not the one for but i am too exhausted to look
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How do i let go of someone who i am not the one for but i am too exhausted to look
I wish i could leave you my love but my heart is a mess
I miss her and i hate my body
I never mattered, but then you sat with me in that park for hours everyday and for a while i couldn't care less if i didn't matter as long as you could see me. If i could devote myself to you
I want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.
I want you to noitce when I'm not around
This pain is bearable but its tiring to carry it all day
no one answered my last post so i guess i have to do everything myself, buckle up for some fleabag analysis.
when fleabag says “this is a love story” in season 2 episode 1, the love story is between her and claire. listen i love the hot priest as much as anyone else, but to me the most compelling arc of s2 is the sisters rebuilding, redefining, and strengthening their relationship instead of leaning into growing apart the way we’ve seen them default to doing.
when we meet them in season 1, they’re civil and clearly see each other fairly often, but they aren’t close. we only see a few conversations that don’t end in a fight. they both clearly care, but they seem incapable of interacting without accidentally pushing each other’s worst buttons. there are several pivotal points where we see them turn away from each other, whether because of other people or their own conflicting needs, insecurities, and personalities
-after their mother’s death, claire had martin and fleabag had boo. these separate support systems combined with the family dynamic their father described, wherein fleabag very much takes after and was closer to their mother, meant they almost certainly grieved separately. as we see at the funeral, grief clearly looked very different on each of them, and they did not react well to each other’s coping styles
-their father’s new relationship clearly drove a wedge between him and the girls, and while the godmother needles at both of them, she clearly targets fleabag more often (almost certainly reacting to her resemblance to her mother), only occasionally sniping at claire. as a result of this and her determination to view her own family (and marriage) in a positive light, claire maintains a level of denial about their godmother, leaving fleabag to deal with it alone
-after boo’s death claire almost certainly reached out, but the distance between them and their clashing coping styles would’ve mixed VERY badly with fleabag’s guilt over her role in the tragedy. if claire’s after what you did to boo jab at the sexhibition (almost certainly fueled by martin referencing it while telling “his side of the story” re his infidelity to claire) is anything to go by, definitely martin and possibly claire were judgemental about it, and even if it wasn’t to fleabag’s face, she would have felt it, real or imagined.
-after the incident with martin, claire again retreats to her denial and determination to be a successful person (happy marriage included), and leans into judging fleabag alongside the rest of the family, deliberately choosing to ignore the signs of crisis she has demonstrated she can see in fleabag, probably in no small part because all of her attempts to do anything or help in any way or even reach out have somehow been exactly the wrong thing to say to her “broken sister”
because it’s not that we never see them reach out to one another. there are frequent moments where one or the other tries to bridge the gap. but there’s always a defense mechanism or insecurity (or husband) in the way of the other’s ability to accept that olive branch. they both feel they’ve repeatedly tried only to be rebuffed by the other.
but in the second season, they’ve spent some time in total radio silence from one another. it has explicitly canonically been over a year since they’ve seen each other or spoken. given the space to not constantly be rubbing against each other’s raw insecurities and grief, as well as the extenuating (WILD) circumstances of the s2e1 dinner in particular, they’re finally in a position to reconnect.
by the end of season 2 they still aren’t perfect. but they’re able to have a vulnerable conversation and accept help and advice from one another and feel like they’re on the same team, quite possibly for the first time since their mother got sick.
we’ve gone from claire sniping at fleabag to keep her nose out of other people’s marriages to refusing to let fleabag leave the room while she confronts her husband. we go from fleabag flinching away from a clearly rare hug in s1e1 to
“is it a running through the airport kind of love?”
“….the only person i’d run through an airport for is you”
so was no one was gonna tell me that the painting saturn devouring his son was found painted directly onto the walls of the artist’s home after he died and that it may not even be depicting the greek legend, that’s just the most common interpretation??????
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Book: *introduces sarcastic, sassy character*
Me: I'm in love.
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