stab scene intimacy coordinator

noon | they/them | 30+ | mdni silly, little fandom side blog AO3 →

[forced-conforming]

IT'S FORCED-CONFORMING, BITCH.

noon | they/them | 30+ | eng/ger | minors dni AO3 | ASK NOON | NOON RAMBLES

welcome, you found your way to my silly, little fandom side blog ✨ (main is @burnwellnoon which i don't actively use as a blog anymore, but in case you see that weird account liking your stuff or following you, yup that's me. (tumblr, i am begging you, give me a feature to switch mains.)

mainly, i write marauders era fan fiction, specifically rosekiller in au settings, but i consider myself a multi shipper, so anything goes, ship and let ship and fuck jkr, obviously.

i write for myself and for my own entertainment. if you like it too, that's great! that's fucking fantastic! like, holy shit, someone enjoys something i created?? no, please, let me hear all about it! my asks are always open, so feel free to reach out! (sorry in advance if it takes me a while to respond — the capitalist corporate machinery has me in its tight grip between 9 and 5)

however, if you see anything on this blog you don't like, i politely ask you to back the fuck off. i stand by "don't like, don't interact" and basic fandom etiquette (thanks @burningjunior for hitting the nail on the head! 💕)

and lastly, if you know me in real life, no you don't 😎

#fuckfacists #fuckterfs #fuckcapitalism #freepalestine #govegan #begaydocrime

none that are published at the moment... stay tuned! 🪰

roadkill | E | rosekiller | 88,573 words

roadtrip au, strangers to lovers, two walking talking red flags, major character death, sex, drugs, violence, rock and roll

-> playlist -> character moodboards -> movie poster clean and distressed

The Taming of The Mutt | M | wolfstar, jegulus, rosekiller, dorlene | 50,262 words

highschool au, inspired by 10 things i hate about you, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, jealousy, idiots in love, house party, teenage drama

-> playlist

how to peel a pomegranate | M | rosekiller | 2,310 words

modern au, crack, murder husbands, cannibalism, llamas with hats are a rosekiller variant, humor

Absolution| E | rosekiller | 15,468 words

vampire au, priest evan, vampire barty, blood, religious guilt, monster fucking, porn with plot

[daisieshen]

ESCAPISM WHATS THAT IM SO INTRUIGED

I know @burningjunior told you to ask me about this one. She said you would eat it up, so i hope i'll deliver, haha. 

It's a bartylily story heavily inspired by raye's song escapism. After breaking up with james, lily finds herself in a club meeting young, careless barty and they have a night they'll never forget (which may or may not involve kidnapping/hurting/murdering james i fear). 

I haven't decided yet if i want to give them an age gap and make lily older. I'm usually always down for an age gap but i need to see how it fits the story. So far i've only written like 2 sentences.

BUT here's a little sneak peek of my moodboard

thank you for the ask <3

[mossy-of-the-valley]

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS CONCEPT I absolutley am eating this up. bartylily kidnapping/hurting/murdering james is MY TRUTH this couldnt be more perfect 😭😭😭

[burningjunior]

I’m so glad I posted about this stupid rosary and somehow attracted noon with it

[forced-conforming]

pov: barty, me and the rosary patiently waiting to get some action.

ps: does a rosary always look like anal beads, or is that just me...? (if i'm giving you ideas, by all means, please go ahead)

[burningjunior]

hiiiiiiii 🪰♥️

i want to hear about ✂️ I could be your girlfriend

(or see a moodboard? if you’re so kind m’lady 🤲)

@forced-conforming

HELLO ❤️

I love how you’re asking about this fic as if I didn’t pitch it to you the second I thought of it and then you added your own flavor. At this point it’s our fic. 🤝🏻

✂️ I could be your girlfriend

rosekiller/pandalily - E

shoutout and hugs and kisses to @mossy-of-the-valley who asked about the same wip

SO, this fic is actually the newest addition to my WIP folder. I put my 7,8k liked spotify songs on shuffle a few days ago just to feel something and was met with Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. Idk why but there’s a certain sapphic energy to this song (it’s not, I’m just delusional)

but the idea I pitched to noon was that Barty and Lily are a thing and Pandora keeps complaining about Lily and how she thinks the two don’t fit together. Barty thinks that Pandora talks shit about Lily bc Pan has a crush on him (Barty be so fr).

The truth is Pandora obviously has the craziest crush on Lily. Meanwhile, Evan is watching the whole shitshow and is close to starting a war.

There’s cheating and jealousy but overall it’s a fun fic. Essentially two messy bisexuals vs. the Rosier twins crashing out about their crushes. Barty and Lily spend a lot of daydrinnking and oversharing and dropping hints about a strap, which is an information Pandora doesn't take too well.

Evan has other ways to deal with it.

heheheh I’m actually having so much fun with this one, so thank you from the bottom of my heart <3 ily

[forced-conforming]

uhhmmm and what happens after barty takes his clothes off?? 🫪

AAAAAAAAHHH!!

obviously i'll ask about it!! please tell me everything the second you write it, i need a liveticker. it's soooo fun! i've been obsessed with it since you first mentioned it!!! i love them messy and jealous! yum 🤤

[forced-conforming]

soo, whenever i'm listening to downfall by noah kahan, i'm automatically thinking about roadkill. the song's almost like an alternate ending (i'm not saying happy, because there's nothing really happy about this song) where nobody is dying, which probably only really makes sense in my head, haha. anyways, just me saying you should listen to this song and that roadkill is still taking up a lot of space in my brain <3

hiii ju 🫶 so happy to see you in my inbox!

i totally get what you mean. they deserved more time together, right?

so, i listened to the song and...

lets think about this alternate ending, shall we? i imagine they fell asleep in the motel and the next morning barty wakes up alone. evan is gone... (and that bitch took the charger 💀)

We're drivin' through the Garden State, we'll be strangers in the mornin'

this is before barty falls for evan (yes they actually fall in love with each other within 12 hours of knowing each other because i said so) when he still thinks they just fuck and then go their separate ways.

I'm cursin' every exit sign and my damn Christ-like devotion To hopin' you might change your mind, and to hatin' you for goin'

can't miss a chance to hint at barty's crippling religious guilt. this is when barty catches feelings for evan. he knows he'll leave him in the morning. does he say something? does he ask him to stay? no. (stupid.) he starts hating him for it.

Roadkill fawn, you said, "How sad Left to rot alonе like that”

i mean... he could've stabbed him with a knife it would've hurt less. (oh wait...)

I don't mind being your dead end I think it's fine to never move on

what?? 😭😭😭 nooo, this line killed me. like what do you mean I don't mind being YOUR dead end??? ugh. see i write mcd with a smile on my face but i curl up in a ball and cry when the angst is angsting a bit too much.

And I'll keep rootin' for your downfall

because barty is a petulant bitch, he simply can not and will not let him go. (yeah... regulus can tell.) no, he'll hunt evan down for sure. (because it can't end on an angsty end, i'm sorry 😭)

thank you for the ask and sending me on this little excursion <33 ugh, i miss them.

[burningjunior]

I need to know everything about Agent Pretty, that sounds like fun! Also would love to see some snippets to the white lotus, since i thinkni know what it is, i also know that it's probably some pretty good stuff, hehe (actually show me all the writing you got from all your wips, i wanna read it allll🤓)

YO GILRBRO HOW'S IT GOING

hangout next week and I log into your docs and you log into mine??? pretty pls

🚨Agent Pretty

I'm actually 100% sure you know some stuff about Agent Pretty already. It's one of my eeeeearliest WIPs. I actually have this plotted completely and written quite a bunch of it, but it has the og ships. Like it's mainly rosekiller but also has wolfstar, regulus, darlene and pandamarylily (yes a lesbian throttle again, sue me)

I love love love this fic so much actually but I just don't feel like writing wolfstar anymore, barely into the other ships anymore, too. but it's funnnnnn. (and also bcs plays a big roll hrhr)

so basically, Evan is a cop in the nypd and specialises in drug related crimes. he had a random hook up one night but the guy refused to give him his name. Evan is kinda proud of the thing bc he's not big on ons and basically dedicates his life to becoming a sergeant before he's thirty, so it feels like a little adventure for him.

UNTIL the guy gets brought in at the precinct and it turns out he's the deputy commissioners son, WHOOPS. very unfortunate for Evan but Barty is lowkey having the time of his live driving him insane.

snippet here:

🚢 the white lotus

I already talked about the white lotus au here, but you're getting another snippet bc you asked so nicely <3

thanks, ily <3

[forced-conforming]

barty has confessed all his darkest and dirtiest fantasies to evan, and evan is doing everything in his power to make them come true, as long as he gets to be the one to take care of barty afterwards

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

btw if you’re kink shaming people, I hope you know that every single person who reblogs this post and I are shaming you

[achillesinhighheels]

[major-toast]

Barty wears sunglasses all the time when he's outdoors, and people assume it's because he wants to maintain and keep up his cool and mysterious persona, when, in reality, that man has the bluest blue eyes you've ever seen, and he genuinely can see jack shit once the first ray of sunlight hits him outside.

[four-toast]

When the rare pair is so rare that you're gonna be the first one to post a fic with them on ao3...

[teh-nos]

this fic is so good i hope i write it

[burningjunior]

AHH!! So exciting!!

I'd LOVE for you to yap about 🌶️ Don't you know Evan?

-- @four-toast

🌶️ Don't you know Evan?

SO this is actually a smutty little one shot that was born from a hyper fixation I had when Sabrina Carpenter released when did you get hot? and I had one billion Evan Buckley from 911 edits on my fyp. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Buck (bisexual icon) but he was surely not the first Evan I thought of when I first heard that song. (yeah, I know she says Devin not Evan, idgaf)

In this one Barty, Regulus and Dorcas return to Hogwarts (no voldi au) for their ten year anniversary and Barty is completely taken aback by the fact that Evan, who he hasn't seen in ten years, turned out to be crazy hot (and a professor, woah!!). Which was actually an issue I had with this setting bc my Evan is always ridiculously pretty by default.

BUT I started re-writing it at some point when @major-toast so kindly introduced me to trans Evan. And I think he fits this whole setting perfectly! (everyone say thank you major)

so, here's a little snippet. the former students get offered a tour across the castle grounds to see everything that has changed over the past years and Dorcas and Regulus lowkey don't wanna do it but it's led by non other than Professor Rosier:

It's Professor Rosier who eventually serves as Barty's motivation to walk back to the castle all the way from the quidditch court around noon. Regulus and Dorcas aren't short on jokes about the whole thing, but Barty insists he just cares about the castle's history, which, obviously, couldn't be further from the truth.

"Listen, it's not my fault he's hot now." Barty shrugs when they finish lunch and walk back out the Great Hall, making their way to the entrance hall where everyone who's interest is supposed to meet Professor Rosier.

"And why exactly do we have to tag along?" Regulus rolls his eyes.

"Emotional support?"

"This has nothing to do with emotions," Dorcas snorts. "And everything with your dick."

"What do you want me to do?" Barty shrugs. "It's not like I expected to come to the castle and be greeted with the image of Adonis."

"Barty." Regulus says very firmly suddenly, but Barty doesn't care about being judged.

"But apparently Evan Rosier of all people turned out to be super hot. Like you saw these thighs yesterday, didn't you?"

"Barty-" Regulus starts again.

"And I truly wouldn't mind if he teaches me a lesson or two," Barty winks.

Regulus, who's standing opposite of him, presses his lips shut, grimacing.

"What?" Barty asks, dumbfounded.

Then someone behind him clears his throat and when Barty turns around, he's met with a pair of blue eyes and an amused grin.

thank you <3

[forced-conforming]

WIP tag game

thanks to the breads @major-toast & @four-toast 🍞🍞 for the tags!

i actually have no idea what hides in the docs, my mind's been all over the place, so let's uncover this together! (i can't believe i don't have a published wip at the moment what the hell?? 🥲)

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous, and tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and you post a snippet or tell them something about it.

rosekiller vs. evil

sleep, reverie, vertigo & drunkenness

Draw me like one of your French girls

DIE LIEBE KOMMT NICHT AUS BERLIN

plant based meat

everybody sins. everybody burns.

Crush

About a Girl

roadkill b-sides: Peter's Day Off / Austin's Most Prestigious Law Firm / Driving Lessons / Therapy / Satanic Cults and Undercover Cops / Meet Cute (<- just pick one)

Chains & Whips

bad medicine

(just one per ask please ☝️😔)

open tags!! because i don't think i even have 11 moots who write and haven't been tagged already 😬

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[forced-conforming]

Happy Pride to our queer elder!!! jokes aside, you are very inspiring to me <3 seeing older people living authentically makes me hopeful

happy pride to you dear mossy! ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

lmao!! thank you. please remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. you feel what you feel, about yourself and toward others, and that’s valid and all that matters. you don’t owe anyone labels, a certain presentation or anything else!!

[jakegyllenhaalsteeth]

gay people can’t ask out eachother normally they start doing shit like this