hello!

what’s crackin

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if you have sung baby shark i have absolutely thought about hurting you

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my cat died

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your mcm’s favorite artist is probably picasso

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who wants to go to petco w me aka free zoo

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petition to switch the d and n in wednesday

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*heart breaks*

me: *minecraft hurt noise* OOUH

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doctor: ok let’s get this done so we can get you out of here!

me: why do you want to get rid of me do you hate me

doctor: what

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in times of trouble

The frost may be trying but my radish seeds are trying harder!! You grow little cotyledons!!!!

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pls get out of my way if you pronounce milk as melk

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*pine tree*

me: hehe. spiky.

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nobody:

me getting 4 notes on tumblr: 💞✨😊🎉💝😭

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fine. yes I like the end piece of the bread. sue me.

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Being rude to promote yourself is the lowest form of humor

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I texted someone gun instead of gn and he’s probably scared of me now oh no I am not scary pls don’t run away x

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I’m a firm believer that the duolingo owl could slap shaggy in the face and live

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story time #2

I was babysitting some kiddos today and a child said “hey that’s STINKY” and another replied “ohoho the council agrees!!!” and idk man kids are just kinda weird sometimes

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me:

kid I babysit: my favorite animal is the cantaloupe!!!