TW: Neglectful parents, abuse, mention of alcohol and drinking
Hearing Oxy scream, shook Acid awake. The sheer terror in his voice could wake anyone in hearing distance. Jumping out of bed in a daze, Acid hurried towards the bedroom door. He had school in the morning, freshman year had finally started and he had spent the whole day prepping for it. Having gathered up some money, he had been able to get all of his siblings something new to wear. He hadn’t cared much about wearing a new outfit himself, but he knew some of his siblings did. It was something that made them all feel a little closer to normal. Laying them all out over their warn down sofa, and making sure they had bags full of school supplies had taken nearly all day for the boy.
When the sun had set, and Acid had successfully gotten everything they had needed, with enough money left over to buy one pair of shoes, a smile graced the boy as he made his way to bed. He had fallen asleep with the smile on his face not long after. Knowing his youngest brother would jump with joy the following morning when he woke to a pair of shoes free of holes. Oxy was eight. Scared of a lot and faced with a life Acid wished he could make better. He worried for all of his siblings, feared the life they had been given. Lithium and Oxy were the youngest two, and Lithium took on the world by storm. The fearless child, that was more willing than most to see good in everything.
Oxy was the exact opposite. He tried to look for the good in things, Acid knew that. Only, he didn’t know what good entailed. He only saw fear in things. Fear in his father. Fear in his mother. Fear in his dreams. Fear in the prospect of never seeing love. And it meddled with Acids mind. Scared him to think Oxy would always feel so little safety.
These were things that kept him up at night. The terror of the ones he loved. Acid wanted to take away all of his siblings pain. Absolutely absolve it, until it no longer hurt them. He had always been that way. His will to make sure his family was okay, had been there all along and it wasn’t going away anytime soon.
His journey from his room to Oxy’s was seconds long, his hurried steps were loud. Pushing open the door, Acids heart broke at the sight before him. The eight year Oxy, with his hands pulling at his hair. His blanket discarded to the ground, and his body trembling. “Oxy, stop it!” He mumbled, kneeling next to the small bed. “Hey, hey! Look at me.” He tried, hoping the boy would wake up. “Look at me. Look, its Acid. You’re dreaming.” He continued, worry clear in his voice.
“..Acid?” Came the confused voice, sure he had been dreaming. “I’m here.. look.” He spoke, his hands going to carefully move the boys from his hair. “See? It’s okay, now. It was just a dream.” He offered a small smile, trying not to show his own sadness now. “It felt so real..” Oxy had said, his lips trembling from the thought. “He was leaving again. I didn’t want him to leave, but he was.” Acid’s face had softened, a coldness running through him at the discovery of the dream. Oxy had had them before, visions of his father leaving. It had been months since then, since the dreams had come back. “It’s okay, Ox. He didn’t leave.” He hated lying to his siblings. Hated lying in general. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell the boy he had dreamed of something true. “He’s in the guest room sleeping, okay?” He added, pulling a fake smile in hopes of his brother not catching him on his lie.
“Hey, do you wanna see something?” He asked, his smile turning real. “I think you’ll really like it.” The happiness on his brothers face was now worth the lie, watching the excitement form was worth anything to Acid. “Yeah, i wanna see!” Oxy all but screamed, clumsily jumping out of bed. Standing from his knelt position, Acid led Oxy to his own room. Switching on the light, he walked towards his closet. Pulling out a shoe box he tossed it on the bed, sitting next to it. “Well, come on, Ox! The box wont open itself.” And he watched as his brother ran to the box, flipping it open. “Are.. they for me?” He asked, his eyes widening in joy. A proud smile pulling at Acid’s lips. With a nod of his head, he spoke again, “I thought you would like the color.” He confessed.
Acid wouldn’t tell it to the world, scared to speak it aloud. But that had been the first day Acid had stopped believing in love.
Rubbing the back of his hand against his eye, Acid let out a sigh. He had gotten home an hour before, and had so much to do. He had already accepted that he wouldn’t get much sleep that night. Knowing he’d have to put together everything for school the next morning. Summer had come and gone in a blur, school approaching way too fast and he had been busy over the summer. Working a few jobs to make enough for school shopping and bills, with a little extra to save for rainy days.
He had set out everyones clothes already, folded them all and lied them on the sofa. He had been able to get his siblings shoes he knew would match the aesthetic they all liked and he had been proud of himself.
He was in the kitchen, making school lunches for everyone. Acid wasn’t the best at making, well anything, and had decided sandwiches were the best bet. He was softly singing, a random song he had written one night. It was keeping him awake, his mind on the words and he felt happy. It had been a good day for the Fosters.
There hadn’t been any particular thing that had made it so. But Acid could feel it. It was a day like no other in the Foster house.
A small smile pulled at his lips, as he cut into a pb&j sandwich, one for Lithi. The smile fell as soon as the door slammed shut, a knowing frown replacing the once happy face. “Where is e-everyone.” Came a hiccuped voice. It was deep and scratchy and unmistakeable. Oxy and Lithium’s father had come back.
Walking out of the kitchen, Acid sighed. “Everyones asleep, Jeff.” He spoke, stopping at the entryway of the living room. “Well, wake them up! I have good news!” He exclaimed. With a roll of his eyes, Acid shot back, “When do you ever have good news.” He knew what would come with Jeff being home. And he hadn’t prepared for it. “You know, you should be grateful, kid. I came to tell you, I’ve won the lottery.” He moved into the living room, kicking off his shoes and falling onto the couch, clothes falling to the ground.
“Would you be careful.” Acid grumbled, picking them up. He moved around the room, putting the clothes on the table and away from Jeff’s carelessness. “Oh, you’re still doing that parenting act?” Jeff had laughed, shaking his head. “Just give it up, Acid. You’re all old enough now, we did good!” He had rambled on, missing the frown on Acid’s face. “You know, i’ve never understood that about you. Why are you trying so hard to be “normal”?” He hiccuped. Acid knew better than to listen to him now. Knew he was too drunk, now. And fighting wasn’t worth it.
“You’re your fathers kid, you’ll be nothing more than him.”
The feeling had come back that day. Acid remembered what it had felt like to not believe in love, that night.
Acids happiness came to him in a time he had almost given up.
He had been seventeen, when she had arrived. With a smile like no other and a love he had never believed to be real. And it was freeing. Eve was freeing. She was everything he had thought only existed in fairytales. And for reasons unknown to him, she loved him.
He knew from the moment they had met, nothing would outshine that moment in time. They were young, then. But it hadn’t mattered much too him. It was something good. And the Fosters rarely got that.
It had been four years with Eve.
And life was finally going in the direction Acid had wanted it to his whole life.
His family was happy. He was happy.
Acid jumped out of Sonny’s car, a smile on his face. Sonny had let him borrow the car, Acid having come up with a story. Telling him he had to stop by the town over to pick up some medication. He hadn’t wanted to tell anyone where he was really going. Not wanting to jinx anything.
He had been thinking of what he was doing now for months. Saving up money and the moment he had it all he left town. His smile hadn’t gone away the entire ride, excitement getting the better of him.
Walking into the store, a worker greeted him. Offering him help, and Acid took it. He had looked through the entire store, in search of the perfect one.
And after thirty minutes, his eyes set on it. He knew right then, that it was perfect.
Eve had given Acid a reason to believe in love.
Sitting on his bed, Acid played with the shiny ring. It was staring holes into him.
His eyes were blood shot, his mind consumed with thoughts of regret. He should have given it to her when he had bought it. He should have asked her the day he had went to get it.
He had had so many chances to ask her, so many times he had prepared for the two. Dates he had taken her on, in hopes of it finally being the perfect time.
But it had never been. And he had told himself he had time.
That he had all the time in the world to make it as perfect as she had deserved.
He had promised himself when he had come home that he would have popped the question on their seven year anniversary. That he’d take her to the place they had met, and would ask her to be his wife.
Acid didn’t want much in life. He was okay with how things were. Okay with where he was in life.
Marrying eve was one thing he had such an undeniable want for.
He had been so excited, he hadn’t seen anything coming. Especially not the day before their seven years.
He was mad at himself now. Mad that he had let the whole town know what had happened. Mad he had said things to hurt Eve and Sparrow. Mad he had let himself picture an unrealistic life for himself.
Mad that he had bought the expensive fucking ring.
The ring that had meant so much before, but now only represented pain.
More than that, Acid was mad he couldn’t bring himself to let it go.
In a way, the world now knew Acid’s belief in love was no longer there.
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