GENRE: Sci-Fi Fantasy, Adventure, Mystery, Space Opera
SYNOPSIS:
Amid growing turmoil across the galaxy, the assassination of the Arch-Seer - a key political figure and head of the Interplanetary Coalition - has resulted in an unprecedented power struggle between warring planet-based crime syndicates and the Interplanetary Coalition who had previously maintained peace between the numerous planets and races in the galaxy.
During all of this, a young thief from Earth with an impressive resume named Bianca is hired to track down and find a woman named Eiko, but Bianca soon finds that she is not the only one interested in this woman. Bounty hunters, outlaws, pirates, marauders and even police officers from the Interplanetary Coalition all race against each other to reach Eiko first. Bianca is left fighting to finish her job while hoping to find answers as to what makes Eiko so important.
Meanwhile, Artemis “the Witch” is an officer in the IC who now leads a newly formed investigation unit that has been assigned to crack down on the criminal activity along with other Investigation units across the galaxy. Her first target is the criminal wanted for the assassination of the former Arch-Seer.
Their paths all cross together, forcing details behind the motivations of their respective parties to come to light. Unraveling Eiko’s importance is the first step in a mystery leading to unlikely alliances, dangerous foes, and a plot that ties the Arch-Seer’s assassination to a 10-year old tragedy that had left the Earth shattered and fissured.
POV: third person limited, multiple perspectives
You’ll enjoy this if you love…
Space, Sci-fi fantasy, Magic, Adventure, Mystery
CHARACTERS - Main Cast: Bianca, Eiko, Cyprinus, Artemis, Florence, Alqamar, Zion, Orion
Future Plans: The original intention was try to make a web animation around this, but the feasibility of that original goal has become less and less likely. I will still tinker with animations and drawings related to this story, but as of now this will likely remain a written story (with heavy storytelling influence taken from film, animation, and scripted media)
Transitioning between scenes is something that you’ll have to do a lot. A good scene transition blends seamlessly into the next so we hardly notice it occurring—or it stands out in order to heighten an emotional impact.
I remember teachers saying, “transitions should blend seamlessly” to me in school without ever explaining how to do that, or what it looks like. The good news is, you’ve probably read so many books and consumed so much media that you’re already subconsciously transitioning your scenes. If you’re struggling, though, here’s what to watch out for:
1. The emotion ends off and begins at the same place.
This isn’t necessarily a hard rule, but it certainly helps maintain a sort of flow to the work, and asks a lot less from your readers than putting them through an emotional rollercoaster. This counts whether it’s transitioning from the same POV or different ones.
For example, if your character is being chased by the police and the scene cuts off without knowing what happens to them, the next scene needs to begin in this heightened sense of urgency and anxiety.
However, if your character is being chased by police and dives unnoticed into their hideout, the next scene should begin within this sense of relief. From here, you can take it wherever you want—just maintain a consistency between chapter cuts, POVs, or other time/place skips.
2. Finish what you start
Unless you’re intentionally keeping the audience in the dark about something (which would require at least some acknowledgement that there are answers, they just aren’t being revealed), you should finish what one scene starts.
Say your previous chapter ends off with the character finally reaching the end of the line for the super scary haunted house attraction. The next should probably begin with them getting to enter the house. If it begins the next day, we’ll be so caught up in the missing time and the obvious lack of answers surrounding the haunted house it’ll take us completely out of the scene and make a notable cut.
An example of a story that does this notable cut really well is ‘A Face Like Glass’ by Frances Hardinge, in which nearing the end, Hardinge inserts a page that playfully acknowledges the complete jump in time and space without revealing anything to the readers about why it’s there, leaving them to discover later on what occurred in that space.
I wish I could quote it exactly but I don’t have the book with me. If anyone does, please reblog this with the page! You’ll know the one I’m talking about.
3. Keep it the same
Don’t switch to a new POV in the middle of the story when you’ve never seen it before unless intentionally making a point. Do transition your scenes however you’d like, but maintain consistency throughout the story. That way, if you ever need to make a point, you can break all the rules you’ve followed to really hammer home the impact.
So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.
in celebration of reaching part two of goddess-touched, here's a mini-excerpt from arthur's interlude that makes me Particularly Emotional
(Important context: during the Fall of Fahrial, he aged fifteen years in the span of seconds. He's been alive for ~22-23 years, and looks almost 40 now.)
It has been years since I have gone home.
The lands of my mother’s family roll, gold and green, in a patchwork of pasture and wheat, into the very edges of the Godwoods where the sun does not shine. I limp along the road, hefting my shield, having discarded the armor that no longer fits about my frame. Limp, for I twisted my ankle, and though it doesn’t hurt any more, I don’t know how else to be sure it won’t the moment I put my weight on it proper.
The serfs of my lands pay me no heed. The sheep I used to guard in the night do not come to my outstretched hands.
And when she answers the door, my mother does not recognize me.
She does not understand why the man in front of her cries so hard at her feet.
So, uh. I might have written a 2k+ scene because I just. Went to town.
We are literally at the scene before Mick wakes up as a dragon, but alas, I'm in the middle of DnD, writing this while other people are having emotional scenes. :') That and this is sort of a good place to take a break. Which is to say I might not start in on the Good Stuff until tomorrow.
But yay, we got to the Dragoning before Camp NaNo ended! \o/
A heat seared the back of his neck, and with a yelped, he reached back to find . . . nothing. Nothing but a length of unbroken chain, winding around his neck.
The thing must have been enchanted with light magic to seal itself around a wearer. That was the most coherent thought he could put together as he clawed at the pendant. The chain was too short, too snug against his neck to yank over his head, and . . . oh gods. Oh gods, what else could this thing do? Would it strangle him? Immolate him in pure light magic? Suck what little lumina he had straight out of his body?
He had to get this thing off!
“E-Eleanor!” he croaked. “Help!”
He stumbled towards the columns, both hands around the chain. Above him, around him, a crystalline choir rose, humming low at first until it filled his ears with a near-deafening song. Mick doubled over, a scream caught in his throat.
And above him, the great crystal cracked.
Or not just above him. All over the city. Hundreds upon hundreds of crystals cracked.
There was a great light that filled the temple in every color imaginable.
And a great force that slammed hard into Mick.
And then, Mick Martin felt as if every fiber in his body was set on fire.
I'm gonna start this by saying I'm not trying to sound like a know-it-all. I am just tired of posts like these being absolutely fucking useless. I am aware this is basically me screaming into a void and I’m more than okay with that.
This guide is meant for intermediate screenwriters, but beginners are also absolutely welcome. :)
(about me)
-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-
I've noticed a rise in film students who want to make films that have no dialogue. Probably after your professor showed you Doodlebug, right? Fuck that.
I'll make another post about writing a short film, but all you need to know is: Don't waste the audience’s time. Most of these no-dialogue shorts have very little substance and take way too long to tell the shortest possible story. Not a good idea.
Useless Dialogue
Plain and simple, don't write useless dialogue. Useless dialogue is dialogue that just doesn't fucking matter. Dialogue matters by having ✨subtext.✨
What is subtext? Subtext is the meaning behind the action. That's it.
If I tell you that I love you and I got big doe eyes while I say it, it means I love you. If I tell you I love you through a clenched jaw without looking at you, I don't necessarily love you right now.
Simple, right? Great.
Now think about the subtext behind every line. Does your character mean what they're saying? Are they doing it to get what they want? What is going through their mind as they say it? As long as you know your character, you’ll have these answers ready to go. If you don’t, you’ll figure it out eventually. Just keep writing.
When you write your character walking into a Starbucks and saying, "One venti iced coffee," does that do something? Why do I need to see someone's boring Starbucks order? Do I need to know that your character's boring? Why are you writing a boring character? [Of course, in the rare situation where this is some revealing clue to the massive crime investigation, then it makes sense.]
Useless dialogue is any dialogue that has no meaning or purpose in your script. Delete and move on. You don't need to write entire conversations or scenes that bore us, just write what we care about.
I took a class once where my professor called a version of this "trimming the fat." Get us into your scene and out of your scene in as little time as it takes to have it achieve its full purpose in the script.
[P.S. You don’t “inject” subtext into your lines. Idk who started that vernacular in subtext teachings but I hate it.]
Show vs. Tell
I remember a glorious fight I got into with a Redditor last year about show vs. tell… TL;DR: Dialogue is “show” if you write it with intention and subtext. If someone says that dialogue is inherently “tell,” they’re wrong and can go fuck themselves.
Dialogue that is “tell” is expositional dialogue. But, hot take: Exposition isn't just in dialogue. It’s also those annoying clichés that make you roll your eyes in the theater (which we just call clichés and not exposition). I’m sure every professor I’ve had will disagree with this and then get me into a long conversation about it, but let’s ignore that for right now.
Have you ever seen a movie where a character rubs an old, worn-out photo of a young girl while looking depressed? That's exposition. That character has a dead daughter. No shit.
Clichés are incredibly annoying. We all know that. Assume that any cliché you see - in this context - is exposition and try your best not to write it. (Tropes are different and sometimes necessary, so I’m not talking about that.)
Point blank: When you have subtext in your lines, they are "show,” not “tell.”
Before moving on, I'll bring up that while technically the dead daughter photo is subtextual, it is as close to the character saying “My daughter is dead,” as you can get. Don't treat the audience like we're fucking stupid.
The First 15
If you don’t know what the Inciting Incident is, please look up “3 Act Structure” before reading this.
The first 15 pages of your script is the part that comes before the Inciting Incident. This is the part you want to get right because, although people probably won’t leave the theater, they will absolutely find something else on the streaming service they’re using. The people making said movie will also just toss your script in the trash before it’s even produced, so it's best to get it right.
Dialogue in the first 15 generally follows the same rules, but carries a heftier additional rule. All dialogue in the first 15 minutes must, must, must tell us something about your character.
Remember when I talked about that boring Starbucks order? Why is your character boring? Don’t write that. Don’t write nice characters. Or pleasant characters. Or friendly characters. No one cares.
You want empathy. This does not mean “relatable.” It means “empathetic.” There is a difference.
I personally relate to Vi in Arcane, but I empathize with Theo in Children of Men. Both are excellent, but one personally resonates a bit more with me. You cannot write a character that deeply resonates with every single person, it is impossible.
With each line of dialogue, you must be saying something about your character that generates the empathy. Instead of telling you how to do this, I’ll direct you to a movie that will do better than an explanation: Casablanca.
Watch how Rick interacts with the world. What kind of man is Rick? Watch what he does, what he says, and how he treats people and himself. Watch that empty glass on the table. Watch his contradictions. Everything. Those things matter and it’s what makes you want to watch Rick for the entire duration of Casablanca.
“Realism”
This is maybe more directorial, but make your characters human enough, not too human.
Too human is when you’ve tried your best to capture all those little life-like speech patterns. You know, the ones that no one fucking cares about.
If your character coughs, they’re sick. If they clear they’re throat, they’re uncomfortable. If a bruise isn’t going away, they’re going to die. Simple.
Every moment on screen matters. Everything the audience sees is meant to lead them to a conclusion. Not the conclusion, just a conclusion.
The realism you want is in the choices your character makes, not how many times they say “Uh,” in a sentence.
Conclusion
Dialogue matters and should not be treated lightly or without care. Once you have this all engrained in your mind, dialogue should become effortless.
If you want an excellent way to think about this, Robert McKee's Story has an excellent chapter that helped clarify this all for me. Here's an excerpt and the context.
Warning, spoilers for Chinatown.
"If I were Gittes at this moment, what would I do?"
Letting your imagination roam, the answer comes:
"Rehearse. I always rehearse in my head before taking on life's big confrontations."
Now work deeper into Gittes's emotions and psyche:
Hands white-knuckled on the steering wheel, thoughts racing: "She killed him, then used me. She lied to me, came on to me. Man, I fell for her. My guts are in a knot, but I'll be cool. I'll stroll to the door, step in and accuse her. She lies. I send for the cops. She plays innocent, a few tears. But I stay ice cold, show her Mulwray's glasses, then lay out how she did it, step by step, as if I was there. She con-fesses. I turn her over to Escobar; I'm off the hook."
EXT. BUNGALOW-SANTA MONICA
Gittes' car speeds into the driveway.
You continue working from inside Gittes' pov, thinking:
"I'll be cool, I'll be cool ..." Suddenly, with the sight of her house, an image of Evelyn flashes in your imagination. A rush of anger. A gap cracks open between your cool resolve and your fury.
The Buick SCREECHES to a halt. Gittes jumps out.
"To hell with her!"
Gittes SLAMS the car door and bolts up the steps.
Story by Robert McKee, pg 156
The context of this page is McKee's way of explaining how to write characters. I found it very helpful.
-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-♠︎-
Thanks for reading! I probably forgot something, so I made this a “part 1.”
I hope this helps someone since I’m really tired of finding short films on YouTube that are all fucking silent. The few who have done it well have been copied to death, so please write some dialogue. I promise you it’s so much better if you do.
Hello! I think you had a post about this before but I can't find it. Not really sure though. I have this probelm with picking ideas? When I work on a story I usually explore many different ideas for the plot but find myself stuck in choosing one. I quickly grow bored of what I came up with and start creating more... in the end I have too much, and can't decide what fits my story best. Then I procrastinate because I have too many notes to process and get overwhelmed...
Overwhelmed After Story Evolves Too Many Plots
Stories shouldn't naturally evolve through several different plots. If that's happening, there's probably one of the following goin on:
1 - You don't have a good grasp on how stories work. Stories aren't a random exploration of things happening. Stories are a cohesive sequence of related events through which the main characters react to and often resolve a conflict. That conflict may be internal (within the characters), external (within the characters' world), or both. The particular events and sequence of events in your story (story structure) depends on the type of story you're writing. Most stories (longer fiction in particular) follow basic story structure:
If your stories often evolve through multiple plots, it's because you didn't have a clear and solid conflict to begin with, or you didn't know how to explore your conflict effectively (via story structure) and you burned through it too fast. (See: Plot & Story Structure master list)
2 - You don't know why you're writing the story. There's always a reason we start writing a story in the first place. Nine out of ten times it's because we're hit with an idea and are inspired to follow it. But, believe it or not, most of the time there needs to be a greater purpose there. If you have a cohesive conflict and well developed plot, your story has a purpose in terms of what the characters get out of it. But what about what the reader gets out of it? Do you just want them to have a rip-roaring good time? Do you want them to feel like they've been sucked into the mystery with your investigator protagonist? Do you want them to feel less alone as someone whose experienced the same thing as your protagonist? Do you want them to feel seen or represented? Do you want them to walk away with some deep meaning or moral lesson? And what about you? What do you get out of this story as a writer? Are you writing it to explore an aspect of life, society, or a particular dynamic that is fascinating to you? Are you hoping of catharsis as you do a deep dive into an experience you yourself have lived through? Are you hoping to deliver a moral message that you feel is important to spread? Knowing not just what your characters get out of the story, but what your reader and yourself as the writer get out of the story is an important part of staying on track and staying motivated.
3 - You're chasing waterfalls, so-to-speak... meaning that rather than staying on track, you're leaving the plotted course in pursuit of prettier, more exciting things. Most of the time when this happens, it's because you're giving into the dopamine rush you feel when a new idea strikes.
Now, ideally you would write the idea down someplace safe, put it out of your mind, and put your focus back on your story. We do this every single day in life, because if we didn't, we couldn't go to school, have jobs, date, have social lives, raise children or animals... being a responsible human requires us to choose to do the thing we need to do rather than chase the sparkly fun things. If you have to leave for class in ten minutes but your favorite movie just started on TV, you have to make the choice to turn off the TV and go to class. You choose to stay on course rather than go off-track and do the fun thing.
However, many of us have a difficult time with these types of decisions for various reasons, such as neurodivergence, chronic illness, depression, mental illness, stress, and exhaustion. So, it's not always easy to make that choice, even when it just means taking the new and exciting idea and writing it down for later. One thing you can do in that case, though, is leave yourself a note in the current story about where you're headed next. What's the next moment, scene, or event you're going to write? Then, save it and set it aside and follow the new idea for a little bit by starting a new story. That way, you're not grafting this idea onto a story that already has its course plotted.
4. You need to be a "plotter". If you start out with a solid plot and story structure, you know what you want to get out of the story, and you're not letting yourself chase waterfalls, but you STILL can't keep your story to one plot, this is a pretty good sign that you need to be a "plotter." Now, there tends to be a little controversy over the whole "plotter" vs "pantser" thing, and that's mainly because everyone things their way is best and often forget there's actually a whole spectrum between plotting and pantsing. Either way, they're both a real thing, because some writers need to intricately plot their story down to timeline, scene list, glossaries, and bios, while others can just "write by the seat of their pants" and let the story develop as they right. Then, of course, there are writers who fall every which way in-between.
Some writers are inherently plotters or need some level of plotting in order to execute a story from beginning to end. Some can write with little to no planning at all. For some writers it depends on their phase of life or what they're specifically writing. But, if you find that your stories are always going off-track even if they're solid in your mind, you may need to do some solid plotting. Start by having a beginning to end written summary of the story and see if that's enough to keep you on track. If not, next time try the summary as well as a timeline of events. If that doesn't work, try the summary and timeline plus a scene list. And just keep adding things until you find the right amount of planning to keep you on track with your original idea.
Happy writing! I hope something here works for you!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
Learn more about WQA
Visit my Master List of Top Posts
Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions
That when you’ve got an ensemble cast of 10 main characters and you put them all in the same room it is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to have them all feel important and narratively drive the scene god damn it why can’t some of you just be NPCs for a second.
I’m no longer working on the project I used to be part of as a co-creator, and now I am trying to figure out how best I can get back into writing.
This all also coincides with a relative state of calmness in my life so it is a good time to potentially reignite this hobby for writing, animating, and making things. Hopefully I will have a new story soon that I spend endless hours tinkering with.
You gotta love that Tumblr is on the rise because of Twitter and Reddit going down, and not because Tumblr has actually done anything to really improve its website.
I personally kin with a website that accidentally and coincidentally fails upwards.
The site that wins simply by remaining upright.
We are literally this meme, posted eons ago, in our ancient texts.
