my name is fox and i probably don't like you.
18, district 10, vegan and proud. rp blog only fc aubrey plaza nav | edits | capitol | updates | face | bio
I feared Five and Four more than any other Districts on the tour. The Districts I’d actually taken children from… now I had to face the families. The older brothers of Joule who screamed for my blood, and Delilah’s little brother who was surely distressed. I was hardly able to sleep at all when we made our way toward Five, and Tallulah had to call in for reinforcements.
When we arrived at the platform, Eagle and Lynx were already there, prepared to make the journey last few Districts with me as well as to accompany me to the Capitol for the big party. Mainly because I needed someone to make sure that there was none of that magic vomit drink around and Lynx and Eagle both are great at breaking things.
They stayed back in the Justice building while I went out to read Five’s speech. Just knowing that they were there was enough for me. At Tallulah’s instruction, I kept my head down and focused on the speech as I read the words as fast as I possibly could. The crowd screamed and hollered in anger, and it wasn’t until I spat out a “Panem today-Panem tomorrow-Panem forever” that I looked up and saw their faces staring out at me.
And that’s when I fell apart.
I don’t remember exactly what happened, I looked from Kineos’ parents to Joule’s parents and brothers and I completely lost it. People kept screaming as Eagle burst out of the back room and scooped me up in his arms, Tallulah taking up the rear. It took a long time to calm me down, my hands clamped over my ears as I sobbed into my knees. “Fox, you have to pull it together for Four tomorrow,” Tallulah whispered to me that night. “You can do it, I know it.”
Wordlessly, I’d nodded before falling asleep, clinging to a pillow. When we arrived in Four, the salty smell made my nose wrinkle as Lynx and Eagle both followed Tally and I off the train. I was terrified of seeing Del’s face again, terrified of losing myself again. I spoke into the cards again, but when I looked up, I saw Kyan’s brother and uncle, and then Delilah’s brother, clinging to the back of his mother’s skirt. Next to him stood a German Shepherd puppy wearing a vest. His therapy dog. While it should’ve made me smile to see my philanthropy at work, all I could think was how upset I was. Delilah had done terrible things, sure, but so had I. And clearly, she’d done something right with this little kid that made my heart ache.
I figured we’d leave after I walked offstage, but Otto stopped me. “Someone would like to speak to you, one of their families.” I looked at him like he was insane, but he just shrugged. I was taken into a little room and a few minutes later, a little redheaded boy walked in with his puppy. My eyes widened and he looked at the floor bashfully. I took a deep breath and crouched in front of him, Tallulah quietly watching from a distance.
“Hey, little man… what’s your name?” I asked softly, my tone gentle.
“Rory,” he replied shyly. “This is Scruffy. She’s my puppy.” I smiled just a little, knowing that the therapy dogs program was already working well. “You knowed Della, right?” he asked before I could even reply. I nodded.
“I sure did.” I said, my voice hollow. He looked up at me with his big eyes and I felt my heart breaking.
“She’s gone now,” he said, his lip quivering. “The TV said you took her away. Mommy and Daddy are mad at you, they call you mean names. But the TV people said you were sick in your head and that you weren’t feeling good when you did it.” I nodded. “Are you gonna get better?” I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to even tell this little kid, not much younger than I was when I lost Falcon. I thought for a moment before I spoke.
“I did, little guy. And I wish I hadn’t, because while Delilah wasn’t my best friend, she loved you so much, and that made me admire her. She’d have done anything for you. And I’m really sorry she can’t come home. I might not get better very soon, my brain is still pretty hurt.” He frowned a little. “But your big sister, she’s gonna be with you always, right in here.” I touched my hand to my heart and he did the same, touching his own heart with a look of wonder.
“Right here?” he said, awe in his voice. I nodded, tears in my eyes.
“Right there. My big brother left us a few years ago, and he lives right here in my heart now. It’s very hard, but he’s always gonna be with me, just like Delilah is gonna always be with you. She can protect you just like she always did. And if you ever need anything, or if Scruffy needs anything, you just give me a call and I will do anything you need. Even if Scruffy just needs some new toys. Sound good?” I asked.
He nodded. “I’m so sorry, Rory,” I said, my voice filling with tears. I wanted to say more, but I didn't want to upset him. He hardly understood. Lynx came padding over when I started crying, putting his arms around me and giving me a hug. After a moment, his attention went to the dog.
“That’s a cool dog,” Lynx announced, putting his hands in his pockets. “Is he your dog?” Rory nodded shyly. “I have a dog too. Well, I have three dogs. They’re this big!” Lynx extended his arms and Rory’s eyes widened. The two boys started babbling to each other about dogs and sharks and big fast trucks and I looked over to Tallulah with a hint of a smile. Maybe Lynx and Rory would both finally have themselves a friend.
Delilah’s parents came to get him soon enough and were surprised when Lynx bounced around announcing he had a pen pal, but I quietly gave them my apologies and confirmed that when Rory’s therapy dog needed shots or care that I would take care of all the expenses. The least I could do. They didn’t seem as accepting as Rory did, but then again, I doubted he’d ever fully understand the extent of what I did to his family. All I could do now was try and improve the quality of his life as much as I could. But I think Lynx will do a better job of that than I will.
Thankfully the rest of the tour was less than eventful. District Three’s tributes I hadn’t gotten to know, but people seemed devastated at the loss of both tributes. Marjolaine’s brothers and parents stood across from Adam’s, and I gathered that both of them had contributed significantly to the District in some way. I exited the stage quietly.
In Two, I spoke to Sabine’s teary-eyed parents and Zeke’s distant-looking ones. I spoke the added words about their strength and honour which was always a hit in Two. I knew Zeke was more than that, remembered building our raft, and knew that Sabine was more too. They were more than machines, they were people. Facing Clifton’s family was more of a relief. Their faces were stony but their eyes held intense emotions, but no tiny children ran around to increase my guilt over surviving. Carly-Beth’s platform was completely empty, which I’d remembered from that god-awful news update that Tally warned me not to watch.
It was relieving to arrive at the Capitol, though unnerving. The party was equipped with well-wishers and I shyly posed for photographs wearing a dramatic dark purple gown. The event boasted an all-vegan menu and we ate and danced like I was trained to. Partway through the night I saw Xanthus and Nausicaa with their daughter (who glared daggers into me for some bizarre reason) and I politely introduced my brothers. Of course, that only lasted so long before Lynx started chasing Stella around the ballroom and I stifled my laughter into my napkin while nodding along to Xanthus’ tight-lipped words of congratulations.
As we travelled home, I slept for a while on Eagle’s shoulder. This last one, seeing Colt’s face and Mayor Reeves, would be the hardest. But I made it through that, and I keep making it through every day. In six months, I have to go back to the Capitol to be photographed by paparazzi and attend parties and possibly have to mentor, terrifying as that is. But I have Tallulah, my brothers, and my own new therapy dog, Hendrix, at my side to help me make it through every single day.
This is merely the beginning of the rest of my life. The life I didn’t think I’d get to live. And while every day is a struggle… I’m constantly thankful that I’m around to live it.
Over the next few months, the Games still haunted me. I was still plagued with constant nightmares, my screaming echoing outside of my own house and reaching Tallulah next door, who quietly asked Eagle to stay with me after a while so she could finally get a little bit of sleep. The therapists wanted to hear all the details of every dream, which involved me back in the Arena bashing everyone to pieces, and worked on plenty of exercises with me. I was still emotionally fragile, but I was beginning to pick the pieces of my life up and slowly move on.
Starting my philanthropy helped. By the time the Victory Tour rolled around, animal therapy had been implemented in Districts Four, Seven and Ten (for my own sake more than anyone else’s) with excellent results, and half the Districts including Lily’s and Imogene’s housed affordable vegan products that were doing incredibly well. I felt like I was putting good back in the world, and the doctors marvelled at how much it was improving my condition.
Of course, there are always setbacks, and as I waved to the cameras on the train speeding away from the District with Tally, Otto, and a couple of my therapists, I knew that facing the families of the fallen tributes was going to be the worst setback yet.
We started in Twelve, and as I took the small speech from Otto’s hands and felt Tallulah merely feet from my trembing body, the gravity of the tour really hit me. It was crowded, more poor than 10, and the faces of Lily and Caradoc staring out at me made my eyes well up with tears long before I actually had to speak.
Lily’s platform housed two adults who looked emotionally detached, as if she hadn’t seen them in years, and Caradoc’s father was visibly inebriated. Even seeing their faces made me want to sob. Sure, I’d killed the girl who’d killed Caradoc, but that didn’t help anything or anyone. But I’d cared for them, and I tried to make it obvious that I did, though the speech was so dry.
“And so, as we always do, we must end the celebrations and resume hard work. For we must keep moving forward, over the obstacles and through the hardships to support our nation coming together as one true unit once again. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.” I looked visibly sick at the words as I let them usher me away, unable to even look up at the faces of my friends.
Eleven was next, two tributes I hadn’t known, but it was when I saw the multitudes of children clinging to Ceres’ sobbing mother that my heart clenched and the paper in my hands wavered. Avery’s picture was behind a pair of devastated-looking parents and two younger boys. Every family I was looking at had lost the way I had with Falcon. I knew how that grief felt, and remembered how it felt to stand on that platform, looking solemnly at the Victor with tears in my eyes as Eagle held my hand. Knowing what it was like made it worse.
We moved onto Nine the next day, as Ten is saved for last, and Daphne’s full extended family nearly took up their entire platform. They cried but looked peaceful, knowing that Daphne had accepted her death as a sacrifice for her country. Declan’s family was large as well, and my stomach turned. I wanted to say more as I looked up at Daphne’s smiling face, but what was there to say? As I got back on the train that night, my heart hammered at what was next.
District Eight. Imogene’s District.
She hadn’t been kidding about the smog. There was not a tree in sight as I stepped off the train, factories and starving citizens as far as the eye could see. I clutched Falcon’s dreamcatcher shakily as Tally rubbed my back. I hated this. I hated knowing how horrible the conditions were under which Imogene and Charlie grew up.
I had hardly any time to actually think about where Imogene may have gone every day, where she and Charlie went to have their girl chats and where she bought her records she told me about. I took the stage, reading the speech in my well-practiced monotone, when suddenly I looked up. On Charlie’s platform stood her weary mother, training a glare on me as if Charlie leaving us and being killed by Delilah was my fault. On Imogene’s stood her mother and father, and an older girl who must have been her sister Oona. I knew it was her- she was upset, I could tell. The rebel kind of upset.
Oona’s eyes locked with mine and I put the cards down. “Imogene was my friend,” I said softly, clearly. “And I hate that she died. I hate that Charlie died. I hate that nothing I could do could have saved them. But we were all alike. We stuck to our guns, and whatever we believed in, we believed in it one hundred percent. I never would’ve known Charlie was a boy if nobody had told me. And Genie was the most committed person… she struggled with the rift between Charlie and I, but she loved us both, I know that.” I took a deep, shaky breath.
“I am so incredibly sorry for your losses,” I added, looking back and forth until my eyes rested on Oona. “I know how hard it is to lose a sibling. And because of this strain… I want to donate a portion of my winnings to the Fuller family.” Tallulah quietly handed the envelope to an Avox who scurried over to deliver it, guarded by Peacekeepers. “I know it will never make up for her being gone, but… it’s the least I can do.” I let myself be ushered offstage as the crowd grew louder.
As I approached the train, I saw Oona hurtling toward me, something in her hand. “Fox! Fox!” I paused, waiting for her to catch up, concern in my eyes. She wrapped her arms around me in a hug and I squeezed back, tears streaming down my cheeks as her hug brought back memories of Imogene. She drew back, her own face shimmering with tears. “Thank you so much,” she said, her voice overcome with emotion. “You have no idea how generous that was, we don't-” I stopped her.
“It’s my pleasure, really. As I said… it’s the least I can do. Imogene told me how rough things were... I want to help. This is from me, not from them.”
Oona placed an object into my hand and looked up at me.  “Look, I can’t speak for Genie, nobody can, but we were going through her records… obviously we’re keeping the rest but I thought she'd might like you to have this one. You know… to remember her by, because she called you that a lot.” I took the record from her hands, looking down at the faded letters spelling out Jimi Hendrix: Foxy Lady/Purple Haze. I looked at Oona, tears forming in my eyes.
“Thank you,” I said softly, reaching out to hold her again for a moment. Screams erupted and her eyes widened, I knew she had to run. Some kind of riot was breaking out. Tallulah guided me onto the train and I waved a little to Oona as she pounded away down the road. Looking down at the album again, I giggled through my tears, holding it close to my chest. The last little piece of Genie I had left- and it was perfect.
The train chugged along to Seven, where I was allowed to see how the animal therapy was put at work in the mental institution. When I saw the meagre supplies of food given to the patients, I felt an incredible overwhelming feeling of guilt over how I’d treated Tessa back in the training centre- it wasn’t until I’d come out that I’d learned that’s where she’d been held. But the animals put smiles on faces and that was what mattered to me. That things, just maybe, were getting better.
Delivering the speech to Sutter’s teary-eyed younger brother and two little sisters along with his father and Tessa’s parents and little brother was difficult. I’d seen glimpses on the Game highlights when I didn’t close my eyes and cover my ears with my hands in time and their demise was horrific. I tried to sound as genuine as I could, but the words were so fake it was hard to. I made a note to myself that night that I needed to see about getting some extra food in the place.
After delivering the speech to Jeremiah’s younger sister and parents as well as Ambrosia’s sullen family, I boarded the train yet again. But a sinking feeling hit my stomach as I went to bed that night, one that left me screaming and crying until Tallulah came in to hold me.
We were approaching District Five. Where I’d killed both tributes. And Four, where Delilah’s little brother waited.
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Finn: I'm sure they are waiting for you wherever they are now.
Ferris: Now on to more exciting things! Are you excited to go home? To see your family, friends? The farm?
Fox: *visibly perks up* I've wanted to go home since the day I got here! *crowd laughs gently* I can't wait to see my family again, I've never been gone from the farm for this long in my life. I can't wait to see how all the animals have grown, they just grow so fast.
Ferris: I'm sure they'll be glad to have you home and help you move into that shiny new house in Victor's Village!
Finn: Now what our audience really is dying to know, is what you're going to do next? The games are over, but what are your plans for your new found fame and fortune?
Fox: *looks behind her to Tallulah again* I've thought about that a lot, Finn. I'm not much of an artist so I won't be going that route, but... I want to start marketing vegan products throughout Panem. It's always been our family's dream, but the money just wasn't ever there. Having everyone have the opportunity to eat cruelty-free is more than I could ever imagine. And I'd love to implement animal therapy for disabilities throughout the Districts... I think that's what I want to do. To give back.
Ferris: A philanthropist? Using all of that money for the betterment of others, you'll definitely win yourself some fans. Maybe Tallulah can set up a fan mail delivery system just for you *crowd laughs*
Finn: So how do you feel about becoming neighbours with our fair Tallulah?
Ferris: Slumber parties and jello wrestling are in order aren't they?
Fox: *shrugs* That's the only thing I'd ever want to do with it. Maybe buy my family some more land or something, but all I've ever wanted to do is help others. *smiles* I'm so thankful for Tally- maybe not so much jello, though. *crowd laughs* She's a great friend, it'll be kind of weird having a neighbour!
Finn: Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Is there anything you want to say to your sponsor, Jet? For his support during the games?
Fox: Dude, you were literally my lifesaver. *crowd laughs* Thank you. For doing all that research to send me stuff I knew how to use. Without that shovel, I... *sits in silence for a few seconds, her eyes darting back and forth and her fingers clutching the dreamcatcher as she's lost in her own mind* Um... just thank you for believing in me.
Ferris: I'm sure he is proud of you and you gave him bragging rights for backing our last two victors!
Finn: Now is there any last words you have for us? I'm sure you are eagerly awaiting the train ride home.
Fox: *nods eagerly* Well, the Capitol has been surprisingly more hospitable than I expected, and being here's been different, but I'm looking forward to getting back to the quiet. Back to real life. *pauses* And I'm never going golfing as long as I live. *crowd laughs*
Ferris: You heard that here folks! Our victor won't be installing a golfing range in her new house!
Finn: It's been a pleasure to have you here Fox. We wish you luck in all of your future endeavours! We will eagerly watch you in the pursuit of your dreams and we will see you very soon for the Victory Tour! For one last time, please put your hands together for the victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games! Fox Delarue! *crowd goes wild*
Fox: Thank you- not too soon, I hope! *waves shyly to the crowd and quickly exits the stage before the Games' highlights begin to play*
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Finn: I'm sure they are waiting for you wherever they are now.
Ferris: Now on to more exciting things! Are you excited to go home? To see your family, friends? The farm?
Fox: *visibly perks up* I've wanted to go home since the day I got here! *crowd laughs gently* I can't wait to see my family again, I've never been gone from the farm for this long in my life. I can't wait to see how all the animals have grown, they just grow so fast.
Ferris: I'm sure they'll be glad to have you home and help you move into that shiny new house in Victor's Village!
Finn: Now what our audience really is dying to know, is what you're going to do next? The games are over, but what are your plans for your new found fame and fortune?
Fox: *looks behind her to Tallulah again* I've thought about that a lot, Finn. I'm not much of an artist so I won't be going that route, but... I want to start marketing vegan products throughout Panem. It's always been our family's dream, but the money just wasn't ever there. Having everyone have the opportunity to eat cruelty-free is more than I could ever imagine. And I'd love to implement animal therapy for disabilities throughout the Districts... I think that's what I want to do. To give back.
Ferris: A philanthropist? Using all of that money for the betterment of others, you'll definitely win yourself some fans. Maybe Tallulah can set up a fan mail delivery system just for you *crowd laughs*
Finn: So how do you feel about becoming neighbours with our fair Tallulah?
Ferris: Slumber parties and jello wrestling are in order aren't they?
Fox: *shrugs* That's the only thing I'd ever want to do with it. Maybe buy my family some more land or something, but all I've ever wanted to do is help others. *smiles* I'm so thankful for Tally- maybe not so much jello, though. *crowd laughs* She's a great friend, it'll be kind of weird having a neighbour!
Finn: Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Is there anything you want to say to your sponsor, Jet? For his support during the games?
Fox: Dude, you were literally my lifesaver. *crowd laughs* Thank you. For doing all that research to send me stuff I knew how to use. Without that shovel, I... *sits in silence for a few seconds, her eyes darting back and forth and her fingers clutching the dreamcatcher as she's lost in her own mind* Um... just thank you for believing in me.
Ferris: I'm sure he is proud of you and you gave him bragging rights for backing our last two victors!
Finn: Now is there any last words you have for us? I'm sure you are eagerly awaiting the train ride home.
Fox: *nods eagerly* Well, the Capitol has been surprisingly more hospitable than I expected, and being here's been different, but I'm looking forward to getting back to the quiet. Back to real life. *pauses* And I'm never going golfing as long as I live. *crowd laughs*
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Finn: I'm sure they are waiting for you wherever they are now.
Ferris: Now on to more exciting things! Are you excited to go home? To see your family, friends? The farm?
Fox: *visibly perks up* I've wanted to go home since the day I got here! *crowd laughs gently* I can't wait to see my family again, I've never been gone from the farm for this long in my life. I can't wait to see how all the animals have grown, they just grow so fast.
Ferris: I'm sure they'll be glad to have you home and help you move into that shiny new house in Victor's Village!
Finn: Now what our audience really is dying to know, is what you're going to do next? The games are over, but what are your plans for your new found fame and fortune?
Fox: *looks behind her to Tallulah again* I've thought about that a lot, Finn. I'm not much of an artist so I won't be going that route, but... I want to start marketing vegan products throughout Panem. It's always been our family's dream, but the money just wasn't ever there. Having everyone have the opportunity to eat cruelty-free is more than I could ever imagine. And I'd love to implement animal therapy for disabilities throughout the Districts... I think that's what I want to do. To give back.
Ferris: A philanthropist? Using all of that money for the betterment of others, you'll definitely win yourself some fans. Maybe Tallulah can set up a fan mail delivery system just for you *crowd laughs*
Finn: So how do you feel about becoming neighbours with our fair Tallulah?
Ferris: Slumber parties and jello wrestling are in order aren't they?
Fox: *shrugs* That's the only thing I'd ever want to do with it. Maybe buy my family some more land or something, but all I've ever wanted to do is help others. *smiles* I'm so thankful for Tally- maybe not so much jello, though. *crowd laughs* She's a great friend, it'll be kind of weird having a neighbour!
Finn: Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Is there anything you want to say to your sponsor, Jet? For his support during the games?
Fox: Dude, you were literally my lifesaver. *crowd laughs* Thank you. For doing all that research to send me stuff I knew how to use. Without that shovel, I... *sits in silence for a few seconds, her eyes darting back and forth and her fingers clutching the dreamcatcher as she's lost in her own mind* Um... just thank you for believing in me.
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Finn: I'm sure they are waiting for you wherever they are now.
Ferris: Now on to more exciting things! Are you excited to go home? To see your family, friends? The farm?
Fox: *visibly perks up* I've wanted to go home since the day I got here! *crowd laughs gently* I can't wait to see my family again, I've never been gone from the farm for this long in my life. I can't wait to see how all the animals have grown, they just grow so fast.
Ferris: I'm sure they'll be glad to have you home and help you move into that shiny new house in Victor's Village!
Finn: Now what our audience really is dying to know, is what you're going to do next? The games are over, but what are your plans for your new found fame and fortune?
Fox: *looks behind her to Tallulah again* I've thought about that a lot, Finn. I'm not much of an artist so I won't be going that route, but... I want to start marketing vegan products throughout Panem. It's always been our family's dream, but the money just wasn't ever there. Having everyone have the opportunity to eat cruelty-free is more than I could ever imagine. And I'd love to implement animal therapy for disabilities throughout the Districts... I think that's what I want to do. To give back.
Ferris: A philanthropist? Using all of that money for the betterment of others, you'll definitely win yourself some fans. Maybe Tallulah can set up a fan mail delivery system just for you *crowd laughs*
Finn: So how do you feel about becoming neighbours with our fair Tallulah?
Ferris: Slumber parties and jello wrestling are in order aren't they?
Fox: *shrugs* That's the only thing I'd ever want to do with it. Maybe buy my family some more land or something, but all I've ever wanted to do is help others. *smiles* I'm so thankful for Tally- maybe not so much jello, though. *crowd laughs* She's a great friend, it'll be kind of weird having a neighbour!
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Finn: I'm sure they are waiting for you wherever they are now.
Ferris: Now on to more exciting things! Are you excited to go home? To see your family, friends? The farm?
Fox: *visibly perks up* I've wanted to go home since the day I got here! *crowd laughs gently* I can't wait to see my family again, I've never been gone from the farm for this long in my life. I can't wait to see how all the animals have grown, they just grow so fast.
Ferris: I'm sure they'll be glad to have you home and help you move into that shiny new house in Victor's Village!
Finn: Now what our audience really is dying to know, is what you're going to do next? The games are over, but what are your plans for your new found fame and fortune?
Fox: *looks behind her to Tallulah again* I've thought about that a lot, Finn. I'm not much of an artist so I won't be going that route, but... I want to start marketing vegan products throughout Panem. It's always been our family's dream, but the money just wasn't ever there. Having everyone have the opportunity to eat cruelty-free is more than I could ever imagine. And I'd love to implement animal therapy for disabilities throughout the Districts... I think that's what I want to do. To give back.
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Finn: I'm sure they are waiting for you wherever they are now.
Ferris: Now on to more exciting things! Are you excited to go home? To see your family, friends? The farm?
Fox: *visibly perks up* I've wanted to go home since the day I got here! *crowd laughs gently* I can't wait to see my family again, I've never been gone from the farm for this long in my life. I can't wait to see how all the animals have grown, they just grow so fast.
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Finn: *Finn reaches over to pat her arm* I'm sure it will bring you some comfort in the days to come.
Ferris: You lost some friends along the way, do you have something to say to the families out there that aren't as lucky as your own?
Fox: *eyes welling up with tears* Um... the people I met here were life-changing. I-I never had any friends back home, and I got a taste of what that was like now... I'm s-so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels and there's nothing I can say to ease that kind of pain. And I'd add to the Fullers that Imogene was the greatest f-friend I could've ever asked for. I miss her every second.
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
Finn: We thought the same! Boy that was a rush! Five days of some of the most brutal competition yet but here you are and I think everyone is just as glad to see you as we are. Isn't that right folks? *crowd murmurs assent, some people yelling out 'I love you Fox' and raucous applause*
Ferris: Now what's that you've got in your hand, Fox? Is this something that helped you get through the arena? Something from home?
Fox: *shies away from the sudden noise slightly* Longest days of my life. *crowd laughs* Oh, it's a little dream catcher... it was my brother's token too. He sent it to me before... it's mine now, I guess. I'm glad I'm around to have it. It's a spiritual thing, it keeps nightmares away.
Ferris: You fell in love with her as a sheep, you heard about her antics in training and you watched as she fought against her own beliefs. But now she is here as our victor of the 18th Annual Hunger Games. Please make her welcome, Miss Fox Delarue of District Ten! *crowd roars*
Fox: *slowly walks on stage, visibly overwhelmed at the noise. she sits carefully, fidgeting with the little dreamcatcher in her hands* I never thought I'd see you two again! *looks back toward the wings where Tallulah watches before focusing her attention back to the hosts*
i'm coming home, i'm coming home
tell the world i'm coming home
let the rain wash awayÂ
all the pain of yesterday
i know my kingdom awaits
and they've forgiven my mistakes
i'm coming home, i'm coming home
tell the world i'm coming home
I Know My Kingdom Awaits, And They've Forgiven My Mistakes || Victory OS Part 2
I wish that going home after the Hunger Games had been as easy as clicking my heels together three times and wishing my hardest. But it wasn’t so easy. I have a feeling that nothing is ever going to be easy again, no matter how much Victorship is something all Capitol citizens would willingly die for. Something that twenty-three other children did die for. And only I remain to tell the tale.
Tallulah’s visit was what sparked my recovery. The physical pain lessened with the expensive Capitol treatments. The mental anguish isn’t so easy to get rid of. My doctors and therapists helped me start to work through the guilt, nightmares, intense anxiety and fear that came with exiting the arena in the extreme mental state I was in. But Tally never left my side, held me through every nightmare, soothed me through every episode. And slowly, I felt old glimmers of myself start to shine through.
When I’d finally been able to carry on a conversation without erupting into screaming and crying, my interview was held. After it was complete I stood in my silky green dress (one of Charlie’s designs to honour my fallen District 8 allies) and approached President Vanderbilt, staring evenly into the man’s eyes as he put the lavish crown onto my head. “Congratulations,” he’d said drily. He clearly wasn’t fond of me. I didn’t give a fuck.
The next morning, Tallulah and I boarded the train home, waving goodbye to Otto. I’d see him in November for the Victory tour, but for now it was just Tally and I and my doctors, ready to start my recovery from the Arena. I sat up at a table with a notepad and pen and quietly planned with Tally all the philanthropy I wanted to do in the wake of my Victory, everything we’d planned while I finished my recovery. I’d had some ideas in my mind since we’d spoken and she was happy to help me make sense of them.
We were beginning with the two main ideas I’d spoken of in my interview: the production and marketing of extremely affordable vegan products throughout Panem (ones that even Imogene’s family could afford) and animal therapy for children with disabilities. I knew the first two places where I’d implement that: District Four, to help with Delilah’s brother Rory, and District Seven, where Tessa had been in a mental institution. Both places where cuddling a piglet or puppy might put a smile on someone’s face.
There was a lot of planning to do but I enjoyed it. It kept my mind off things. And every time a certain word or noise, or even when our train went under an overpass, startled me and made me start to panic, Tally was right there to soothe me and guide me through it. I was especially thankful for her. And now, hours of work and planning later, we’re back in the fields dotted with cows. We’re almost home.
The train begins to slow and Tally gently takes my hand. “It’s going to be really loud, Fox, but it’s okay, I’m right here with you and nothing is going to hurt you,” she soothes. I nodded, thankful it wasn’t echoing like the catacombs. Wide open spaces were a good part of my therapy- my house in the Victor’s Village had been furnished with echo-proof walls so I wouldn’t hear the noises echo and go into an episode.
They are taking extra precautions to what might set me off- loud noises, darkness, small spaces, echoes, and were careful to ensure that I’d be safe and not triggered in my new home. Motion-sensitive lights to ensure I’m never in the dark, arched ceilings so I never feel trapped, big windows making me feel like I was outside without being outside. It was going to be wonderful, the doctors promised me, showing me plenty of pictures.
But I just want to be home. I want to see the baby piglets all grown up and to bury my face in our fluffiest sheep. I want to sleep in my own bed, even though I knew I couldn’t have it given that I have to stay in the Victor’s Village, but I can have my own blankets and pillows for it and can visit the animals at the farm whenever I want.
The train slows to a stop and Tally helped me out the door slowly and carefully. I step out onto the platform and draw back shyly behind her as the crowd waved and cheered. It’s overwhelming, yet somber, especially knowing that Colt had passed. But I’m home, and I’m thankful.
My family hates big crowds, so I know I’ll see them after Tally helps me through the hordes of well-wishers. And there, behind the masses, on the path toward our home, stand Ma and Pa, and Eagle and Lynx. We stare at each other for a moment, almost in disbelief, when Lynx breaks the silence and tears down the path toward me. The doctors make a move to grab him but I shake my head, pushing them aside.
“Fox!” He screams, running as fast as he can. “It really is you!” I crouch down, holding out my arms and embracing him tightly as he runs into my hug. I break down completely, sobbing into his shoulder as he clings to me, crying his heart out too. I draw back for just a moment and he places both of his hands on my cheeks, touching both scars. “You have too many ouchies, Fox,” he says softly. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, little man,” I choke through a sob. Eagle crouches next to us and wraps me in his arms as we cling to each other. My parents join, all five of us huddled in a heap on the ground sobbing hysterically into each other. “I love you so much,” I murmur into Eagle’s shirt, addressing all of them. “I missed you… I’m so sorry I’m so so sorry...” Eagle hushes me and kisses the top of my head more times than I can count.
After a moment I need to step back, the claustrophobia hitting me a bit too hard. I walk the rest of the way to the farm, greeting every animal and finally gathering my things from my room. As I step outside the house again, I see the big pickup truck that will drive me to the Victor’s Village.
Eagle and Lynx come along with me, and we climb into the bed of the truck instead of the back. The doctors are hesitant, but I wave them away. It’s unfamiliar, but it feels like home, and Eagle is already incredibly gentle as he helps me in.
We don’t sing, we just sit, I curl into the back of the truck, nervous about falling out but loving the beautiful blue sky. As I relax and stare up, I think about everyone I’ve lost, everything I’ve lost. I’ve lost so much, I know that. I’m fucked up and damaged beyond repair, and some serious therapy is going to be needed to make me feel like I deserve this kind of happiness.
But I have the rest of my life to turn things around. To heal, to become whole once again. I have, after all, done the impossible. The Capitol has only taken one child from our family. I prevented them from taking two.
I can’t change what happened in that arena, but I can make things better. I can give back to those that I’ve taken so much from. But I push that out of my mind as the truck starts up and Lynx lets out a whoop and a holler and we zoom off across the fields, Tally smiling at me from the passenger seat. In that moment, I’m not thinking about the nightmares, the death, the pain, the suffering, and the aftermath of all I’ve done. All I can think about is how thankful I am to finally be back where I belong.
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