Ramblings of a Beautiful Disaster

I am an Openly Bisexual, Poly Witch. I have conquered Ovarian Cancer Twice. I talk very openly and frankly about my Mental Health struggles as well as having my having been abused. Complex PTSD sucks, as does major depression and GAD- however for better or for worse I don't seem to have a tact or silence button. ❤💜💙

[catchymemes]

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

it’s almost as if Tolkien knew what he was talking about

[thepieking]

It’s almost as if Tolkien personally witnessed one of the bloodiest wars in human history and then used that to fuel his writing.

Anonymously tell my muse what the fuck is wrong with them.

[foxykathykat]

Yeah, we are totally aware that pretty much everything is the fuck wrong with us.

Sorry

[scatter-the-stars]

🤣🤣🤣

[omicronus-1326]

[horrorobsessor]

"Cast banishment upon your posterior at once!"

[foxykathykat]

Good GODS I adore him

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

crazy how the sun rises every morning. every. single. morning. never takes one damn vacation day. Bitch

[captainwaffles]

The sun is controlled by multiple gods, they trade off so they don’t get tired

[cloudygreywolf]

They’ve got a punch card system.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

a chore chart taped to the celestial fridge

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

alternative, one day apollo is just so hungover from dionysus’s rager the night before, he calls in sick and a ragtag team of lesser demigods must band together to drag the sun around the earth, like a bunch of bumbling elves having to sub in for santa claus last minute

[foxykathykat]

I mean, this has all the markings of The Beloved Patron

[foxykathykat]

This is one of my *absolute* favorite moments, a true cinematic masterpiece. It is utter perfection, and to hear The Man Himself narrating it? Oh. Just *oh*.

[foxykathykat]

So... in my Hubris I thought that I was like 90% done with ritual earlier this week.

The Gods looked at me, laughed, and determined that that was a lie.

[anxietyproblem]

[foxykathykat]

Bitching about ritual, yet again.

My favorite part of writing Requiems/Death rituals? Trying to figure out how not to offend a Deity I may not be familiar with while also trying to figure out what type of offerings to give them.

When in doubt? Alcohol and Incense.

[foxykathykat]

Stupid fucking ritual sucks bong water. I don't know why I'm surprised by this... but I am and I'm going to throw it out the window, set fire to it and then see what is left in the damn ashes.

[inacatastrophicmind]

How many of you would consider yourselves introverts? How many extroverts? And how many bisexuals? I’m all three

[smoothoperatorleclerc]

all the bisexuals having another awakening because misha provided representation and a sense of community and safeness and I just want to hold his hand and tell him he’s not alone and to tell him I’m proud of him

[penny-anna]

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

[penny-anna]

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

[penny-anna]

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

[storywonker]

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

[ramshacklefey]

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

[reformedkingsmanagent]

@ghostriderofthearagon

[cryptidscrypticcrosswordclub]

dYinGggGggg…

[whetstonefires]

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

[whetstonefires]

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

[bowditch]

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

[linguisticparadox]

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

[sainamoonshine]

Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man

Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s

[esser-z]

Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post

[sunny-dayze]

@words-writ-in-starlight

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

If I remember correctly, in the “tree of tongues” material from The Lost Road, Tolkien goes into some detail about how the reason elves have so many dialects is that elves view language as a form of collaborative art, which they delight in, so a newly-coined word or grammatical construct gets spread around just like a new song would.

Elves may be immortal, but they’re also immortal nerd OCs and we must never forget this

[kittyknowsthings]

Thank you for this addition which is both lovely and educational

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

If that’s how Pippin entered Gondor, than what the everloving fuck did he say on his little zoom call with Sauron??!!!

[councilofelrond]

Pippin, thinking Evil Creepy Ancient Being and thus attempting formality: Why are you so incredibly evil? 

Sauron, in his stupidly thick Angbandian accent: Oy listen mate I ain’t trying to stir a fuss but like, fuck you and tell Saruman to drop you off at the street corner.  

[thelostsmiles]

“You get this sort of rebellion aspect or this sort of denial, this sort of childish defensive position of ‘not all men are bad and blah, blah, blah’ and it’s like NO, we just have to shut up and listen.” - Benedict Cumberbatch

[inthefallofasparrow]

All you fools are gonna look super dumb when the Queen hobbles out on her walking stick in February, stops in a daze, topples forward and almost falls flat on her face, but at the last second does a forward somersault, jumps back up, and then cheerfully gives a bunch of children a tour of Buckingham Palace, during which she kills them off one by one, in order to choose which one will be the next queen.

[filmnoirsbian]

I think toy doctors are so nice actually like i remember being a little heartbroken kid when one of my beloved stuffed animals got old and torn up and my mom just threw him out. And i know what it would have meant to me, to have someone lovingly stitch him back up instead so i could love him just a little longer. And I’m really glad there are little kids out there who get to see pictures of their stuffed animals and dolls with little fake hospital beds and casts as they “rest & heal” before returning to them good as new. Like what a sweet thing to do with your life.

[filmnoirsbian]

This is so nice 🥺

[gritty4lyf]

It’s also so good for normalising the idea of illness, hospitals and recovery not being bad or scary places, even if sometimes they’re not very nice, because the people there are doing kind things to make you better so you can go back home. No one knows which kids are going to end up dealing with major traumatic illnesses or injuries, and having a safe framework for the idea of a hospital, a safe, painless, vicarious hospital experience is such valuable preparation

[sweetandsavageautistic]

not gonna cry not gonna cry not gonna cry not gonna cry not gonna

[foxykathykat]

This is such a wonderful idea

[shesnake]

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]