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@fr0gs-in-fall
(to the tune of uptown girl)
uptown toad! sittin pretty on his mighty throne
reaping the vegetables of our labor
Garden
Field of dreams 💞
She’s called the violet/purple prickly pear, also known as Opuntia Gosseliniana. 😍🌵❤️
Hello do you have any recommendations for small (like grape?) beginner tomatoes for someone who lives in Portland (oregon) your tomato post was very informative but I'm not sure how to get started
The Sweet 100′s or Indigo Cherry tomatoes should grow well there!
Tomato Care Basics:
Tomato does best with full sun (6 or more hours in direct sunlight per day) and regular watering, but don’t water it if it’s dirt is still wet.
Tomato roots are almost as big as the plant is above ground, so make sure your tomato has either a HUGE pot (I used the bigass tubs people use to store christmas decorations or other shit) or is put in the ground.
Make sure to put 2-3 eggshells crunched up real fine under your tomato when you put it in the ground/pot so it has enough calcium, or use a good tomato fertilizer if you think your dirt isn’t that good (Fox Farm makes a great one)
Do not put Baby tomato plant outside until it’s going to be at least 45 Degrees at night.
In the event of a cold snap/Frost, cover tomato with one of those flat sheets you get with bedding sets but nobody freaking uses. they’re mad good frost insulators.
Baby your tomato while it is young- fertilize before planting, keep up on the water, give it shade if it starts to get crispy, play it mozart or whatever- right until it develops it’s first flowers. Once the Tomato flowers, neglect and abuse it to the point of injury but not past the point of death. A tomato is a remarkably sapient plant, and it needs the Fear Of It’s Own Demise in order to get adequately horny and flower enough to set fruit properly. Miss a few waterings. Let it get sunburnt once. Break off a few leaves on branches that aren’t flowering. Once the tomato is getting abused to the degree it likes, it will start setting TONS of flowers and shift it’s energy focus from growing plant to making fruit. Yes, Proper Tomato Husbandry involves a certain degree of Sexual Sadomasochism. Don’t worry, the Tomato likes it.
ADVANCED TOMATO HUSBANDRY:
Get your Tomato some friends- Carrots! Turns out, Planting Tomatoes and Carrots in the same bed/large Bin is great for both plants- Tomatoes benefit from the soil areation and microrhyzal fungi that carrots provide, and carrots get free pest control from the Tomato’s constant chemical warfare.
Yes, tomatoes constantly commit chemical warfare- they excrete toxins to keep off pests (they’re related to deadly nightshade, which is deadly specificially to avoid being eaten by insects and mammals), exude pheromones to attract pollinators, and unleash all kinds of weird shit kill rival plants like weeds or Other Tomatoes. This is why Tomato plants have such a distinctive musk and why so many people get rashes from handling the plants.
Speaking of, the only thing better for a Tomato than Carrot Friends is A Rival Tomato, because seething hatred is an important part of Balanced Tomato Psychology. Get a second Tomato and put it within 6 feet of the first and the two of them will VIOLENTLY attempt to out-reproduce the other, while also pollinating each other in a sort of horticultural kismesitude.
You can get even greater rivalry effects by having more tomatoes but: -the effect maxes out at about 5 plants per 100 sq ft, and if you have too many in small area they will for-reall kill each other before they can fruit. -If you do it right, you will have literally dozens of pounds of tomatoes on your hands come august so you better have a plan for that.
The carrots also love when there is a Rival Tomato, esp if all three are in the same bed becuase the carrots are also Proactive Thinkers and tattle to the tomatoes to make them put out even more rival-and-weed killing chemicals, which help protect the carrots and make them grow more vigorously.
if you’ve got deer and rabbits in the area, put a border of Marigolds around the edge of your bed/growing area to discourage them. If your fruits are still going missing you have either squirrels or kleptomanical neighbors. Both pests can be solved by blasting them with the hose.
The Nutcracker Suite, Disneys Fantasia, 1940
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