ur mom @fr1edguts - Tumblr Blog

literally on the school wifi rn

can’t believe im blogging in class rnnnnn im thinking ab making a completely new tumblr just bc like idk i have many mutuals on here n i wanna b able to talk ab when i have fucked up thoughts without having to like see yall....irl....anyway ily

3rdeyechakra

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9ubI7_lyeC/?igshid=1cddruwl4zhbu

i'm so annoying lmdao like atfu

i'm like genuinely not doing ok rn and i can't tell if i'm being dramatic but i srsly want to fuxk my entire life up so nobody holds any actual expectations for me, so that failure won't come as a surprise. i woke up sobbing this morning just bc of fuxkinh school, i can't even miss this stupid class. i hate college, i hate thw looks i get when i sit at the randomized table made up entirely sorority girls. what makes me so different from them? not that i want to be like them but they seem so disconnected from reality almost...i admire their lack of rest. ive been getting too much and too little sleep, im lonely even lol. i can't stop thinking ab what's inside of me, how easy for it to slip onto the floor, and after all that i'd be nothing but a memory. when is it justifiable? i hate that they call it selfish when you wouldn't even have anyone to blame. nothing feels soothing, except the idea of self destruction.

the human tendency for self destruction: i see it everywhere. the desire to dig your own hole and lay in it, looking past the hands that half heartedly offer an escape, just sitting with it. if i fall there's more to celebrate when i finally get up. i don't know when i'll ever make it out completely.

how did i manage to sleep thru this entire class

#i don't even wanna be here #wanna be home doing anything else literally #mutuals #ask me things