and yknow what i also don’t like the idea that abusers are these like. horrible monsters and there’s something ~wrong with them~ cuz no “normal” person could ever do such a thing like. my abusers are normal people. not even particularly bad people, really, aside from… well, yknow. there’s not some special ingredient that makes abusers abusers. they’re just people, doing fucked up things. you wouldn’t know it from looking at them, there’s no one specific reason they do what they do. it’s weird to try and like… explain it all away like that.
and actually yknow what i’ve always hated the dehumanization of abusers or bad people or whatever cuz like. no! they aren’t monsters, they’re people! this is what humans have the capacity to do! there’s nothing special about it! don’t try to distance ‘nice, normal folks’ from ‘monsters’ cuz we’re the same goddamn thing; we all have free will and the ability to choose how we act and some people choose fucked up stuff and that’s human, unfortunately
