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Doug Jones

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@thepeacefulgarden
Controversial take but I think we more often need to accept that sometimes it’s not personal, but that a person still doesn’t fuck with us. They don’t want a relationship with us, they don’t wanna be our friend. We’re not their type for whatever reason. They don’t hate us but they aren’t interested in building something with us in any capacity. It’s not that they have a lot going on, it’s not that they can’t receive love, it’s not what a lot of people concoct just not to deal with the sting of rejection. Sometimes we’re just not somebody’s type. And that’s okay and we don’t have to curl up in fetal position in a corner about it. We will not be the type of every person we encounter and that is natural and nothing to lose sleep over
Well, now you've gone and done it! You've doomscrolled all the way back to the Silurian era! You should probably take a little self-care break.
And you don't have to wait for anyone else's permission or approval. You don't have to wait until things get worse, or until you hit rock bottom. You don't have to wait until you finish school, get into a relationship, get married, get a "real" job, reach a certain age, or die. You don't have to wait until next week, next month, or next year. You don't get just this one chance, either.
You can grow, change, and start over now. As many times as you need to.
And yes, it's absolutely okay to take a step back and prioritize your mental health.
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You will heal. You will create again. You will wake up genuinely excited about your life. You will laugh again. You will get out of survival mode. You will trust yourself again. You will get your spark back. You will find your way back to yourself. You will. You will. You will.
Your First Anchor
Take one minute and write down a memory of a good moment you’ve had recently. It doesn’t need to be huge. It could be a laugh with a friend, a warm meal, or even a quiet moment where you felt okay.
Write down as much detail as you can including who was there, what was said, what you felt in your body. If it was a moment you laughed, what was funny? Talk about it. Did you feel like crying from laughing too hard? If it’s about a warm meal, describe the taste and what it was. If it was a quiet moment, describe where you were and what was happening. The more detail you include, the easier it may be to reconnect with that memory later. Then put this into your anchor box! (I recommend a physical box for some physical items later on, but this can also absolutely start out as a note or folder in your phone.)
If this is something that you end up finding helpful, it might be worth having a folder, envelope or jar of some sort in your anchor box so that you can keep adding memories to it as they come up.
If you'd like to follow along with doing an anchor box, see my master post here.