Heartworm

n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

Time will help me to forgive,

but oh,

how I wish it would help me to forget.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

There is something so achingly heartbreaking,

about standing in a room full of people you know so well,

and feeling so utterly alone.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

And as you walk back into my life unannounced,

ripping open the scars that had barely begun to heal,

I suddenly realize,

it is time to finally let you go.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

May the rain wash away,

the remnants of pain,

caused by the scars,

that’ll stain my heart forever.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I’m not over you.

But I am over all the bullshit you put me through.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

It hurts to know you moved on so easily,

while I carry the scars of an unrequited love on my heart forever.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

And it is really sad to think,

how you became my safe place,

while I was just a convenience for you until I no longer was.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I don’t hate you for not wanting me.

I hate you for making me believe that you did.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

In the end, I didn’t just lose you.

I lost myself too.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I hate how my body still betrays me.

How every fiber of my being still yearns for your touch.

Because it knows that one embrace would be enough to comfort this aching that has found its home in my chest.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I suppose we were meant to be.

We just weren’t meant to last.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I hate how I don’t hate you.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I wonder why destiny let you into my life,

Only to take you out of it when I had already fallen too deep.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

Can you really not see,

how much you broke me?

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I wonder if I ever cross your mind.

Because you never leave mine.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I miss you.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

Please, come back to me.

Please, I beg you.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

Sometimes I wish I’d never met you.

Because it would have spared me from the all the pain I feel right now.