Fall Right Into Place

[autumncozy]

[banksalec]

[imyselfamthesun]

[04k96]

[bringpaintanddrugsandfood]

[zagrebinaa]

[coffeeandmoorland]

One moment you’re 12 years old and sitting in your childhood bedroom, dreaming of the day you can decorate an entire place of your own. Then you blink and you’re 27, sitting in your own place on a rainy day, jazz music on in the background as you scroll Pinterest. I made 12 year-old me’s dreams come true after all.

[fragglio]

[inkskinned]

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

[fragglio]

I guess habits are easier to quit once you break them once or twice. I've rarely been anything more than a bad habit.

[horrifying]

[twoweeks]

[fragglio]

Go

Lately I've been finding myself wanting to write letters to small but impactful characters in my own history. People like the openly gay kid in my middle school, the kid who was bullied and harassed for being who he was. I never bullied him personally, as far as I can recall, but I never would have dared utter a word in his defense either. For fear of being ostracized myself. I want to apologize to him. There's people like the judge in my juvenile possession case my senior year of high school. The opposing council wanted to delay the case, meaning it would have gone on until I was 18, legally an adult, and I'd have been charged as one. That would have fucked my life. This particular judge however, shut that shit down, and ended up giving me the minimum penalty for my charge. I want to thank her from the bottom of my heart. People like my 4th grade English teacher, who gave his personal copy of an old novel to a kid who had a special interest in reading, thus inspiring a lifelong passion for literature and writing. Even accounting for the countless words that I've read since, I'd still have a hard time finding the ones to properly thank him with. The teachers who openly mocked the quiet kid in class, just to get an easy laugh from the other kids. Although that behavior from an adult still bewilders me on some levels today, I now realize that they had their own demons to deal with and they simply didn't know what they were doing in that moment. I'd simply wish them well. I'm writing all of this now, knowing that it will never reach any of the people mentioned in it. In fact I'd go as far to say that maybe a couple dozen of my tumblr followers are even active still. But it's a kind of personal carthysis for me right now, so I guess that's good.

On the subject of writing, I'm strongly criticizing myself on this little piece already. But this was meant to be a therapeutic exercise and I'll let it stand as one, despite the clunky sentence structures. Not all things are about perfection

[drxgonfly]

Burgandy- France (by Sébastien Rossi)

[conffuzed-deactivated20211009]

[sixpenceee]

Grey-headed flying-fox. 📷Michael Cleary.

[felt-u]