Theo knew that Evan would do everything to keep her safe. And that was another thing that was worrying her. She didn’t want to see him get hurt, especially because of her. But Theo also knew that Evan wouldn’t not protect her, and it would be wrong to not give him that chance. As much as she thought he would be safer without her there, she simply knew he wouldn’t accept it. And the thought of hurting him herself by leaving made her sad too. “You have a lot of confidence in us.” She murmured with a smile.
The smile dropped at his next sentence. Could none of them give her even 24 hours to recover from her injuries. “I hope you’re interrogating Severus like this too.” She grumbled, an annoyed look on her face. She knew Severus hadn’t been in the Order as long as she had, but he’d not told them either. It wasn’t just her. Theo sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “It’s hard.” And it was. What she was doing was hard. Even more so now that she was feeling conflicted. Theo had no idea where she stood now. Everything was hanging in the balance. “It’s one thing have a blasted constant reminder of my wrongdoings and the shittiest mistake I made, but for my friends….. or former friends, to see it….. i just couldn’t do it.” She bit her lip, quiet for a moment. “And i know that makes me a shitty person. Don’t worry. Alice was very clear about that last night. She made very sure that I couldn’t forget that fact.”
Theo was quiet for a few more moments as she thought. She wanted to be helpful, but she had to be careful. She couldn’t risk making them lose any more trust in her. “Yes.” She confirmed with a nod. “He apparently only marks his inner circle…..which I know makes me look even shittier. Don’t worry. I feel it.” She did. “That suggests whoever our spy is….. isn’t in the inner circle. They could be proving there selves. He liked to fuck about and make you prove your worth.” That was not a lie. The more she thought about it, the more she realises that Voldemort’s ways were really fucked up, and she wondered if she had ever been on the right side.
“I regret what I did Frank.” And that was the truth. At the time that she joined she might not have cared about anyone here. But they were her friends now. And she really want to see them get hurt. “Despite how Alice had already clouded your view of me now, I never wanted anyone to get hurt…..” Or at least she didn’t want that anymore.
Frank pressed his lips firmly together when Theo mentioned Severus. He wasn’t. That was also because of a matter of trust, but not because Frank trusted Severus. Quite the opposite. They could say whatever they wanted, and Frank wouldn’t be inclined to believe it. That didn’t matter when they had Dumbledore’s personal vouching and seemingly every decision-maker’s faith in their abilities.
Instead he focused on Theo’s explanation. “We all make mistakes,” he said gently. “That is... Well, there’s no denying the size of the one you made, but coming here? Trying to fix it? I applaud the courage that takes, Theo. I think I understand what you’re saying, but even if having it as a reminder is hard, wouldn’t it be better to share it? To make it something else? A reminder of the switch and what you can do with it?”
Frank turned away from her, more because he didn’t know what to say after all that. There was a lot she’d brought up, and Frank didn’t have the right answers. He couldn’t pretend to. I’m not... I won’t even pretend to know how things are going to go with Alice. She’s hurt. I know you probably think she overreacted, but after everything we’ve gone through and the way she’s vouched for you? You hid that. Her actions weren’t right, but neither were yours.” There isn’t a right or wrong here. I won’t pretend there is. But you’re going to have to convince people you had good reason for hiding the mark. Alice was... Well, I guess she was the start of that. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, but it’s not an easy situation.” He cleared his throat. “I- I don’t like being in the middle like this. I hope you understand that.”