Free Butterfly

Words of a depressive Ana and Mia

[freebutterflyforlife]

me: im really hungry i should eat something

my brain: but that's what the government wants me to think

[freebutterflyforlife]

Chocolat

I am looking for that magical chocolate with 0 calories and taste as well as Kinder...

[freebutterflyforlife]

Hobby

My favorite hobby is suck my stomach in till I can touch all my bones

[freebutterflyforlife]

I think I am getting crazy...

I think I am getting crazy cause even 20 calories look too much for me...

[dayy-timee-dreamingg]

[runwaysandstripclubs]

❄️❄️

[thinspo4anas]

[freebutterflyforlife]

School

So school is arriving and the only thing I can think that is good about that is that I will not be controlled in two meals so if I just eat dinner at 20:00 every day... I will have constantly 24h fast every day... and hell that sounds really good...

[freebutterflyforlife]

Me: Fuck ana, Im going to eat everything that is on the fridge!!!

Me after eating: Fuck! What the hell I just did?? Are you fucking crazy? You ruined everything! Dumb.

Ana: I told you.

[freebutterflyforlife]

And...

And you still ask why did I changed...

[freebutterflyforlife]

Hate

I prefer you tell me you hate me than your stupid silence

[freebutterflyforlife]

Empty

I love this feeling of emptiness. It makes me feel... alive!

[freebutterflyforlife]

Hi butterfly's! Guess who completed the first day on diet? Yeah! Today are only allowed 200 calories... but I will try keep on the 100! Wish me lucky!

[freebutterflyforlife]

Cookies, the worst thing that can happen on a diet... delicious but mortal

My brain

[freebutterflyforlife]

My favorite thinspo🦋

[freebutterflyforlife]

Still...

Still looking for that button that turn all these feelings and emotions off…

[skinnyhoney]

I Am Anorexic

I, am anorexic.

I exist in a constant state of hunger that rushes through my veins like an intravenous drip; consuming my body in an adrenaline rush that makes me dizzy like I’m tipsy.

I thrive on sugar-free Redbull, Diet Coke and breath mints - a staple diet that my body is well-adapted to.

I run, walk, lift, crunch and push my body til I see stars at daytime and blackness creeps in from my peripherals. Exercise replaces the kilojoules it consumes with endorphins that feel oh so much better.

My stomach growls so loud I think the whole world can hear, crying out in ignored emptiness.

I can trace the dips in my ribcage when I lie on my back; my fingers following the curves of bone that lies just below the skin. There was once flesh there, but my body decided to eat that up since I refused to feed it anything else.

My body, once soft to touch and warm to embrace now elicits worried glances and pitiful sighs.

The rings my mother gave me for my birthday, once tight around my finger, now slip off with the raise of my hand.

I think and I ponder and I try to remember the girl I was before I began this diet of deprivation but I can’t recall.

Was she happy? I don’t think so.

But if I saw her today, I’d hug her, and cry for her, and tell her she is lovely. Because she didn’t know it, and so this is what she did.

This is what I did.

[prettygirlssociety]

🌺 I love this 🌺

[freebutterflyforlife]

Wow... I am touched!

[freebutterflyforlife]

UGW

So... obviously I have such numbers on scale that I want to see when I step on it... however, I think my UGW is not in a number. I think I only will know my UGW when I arrive to it... I want to see bones in my body, I don't want to can touch in any fat, I want to feel empty, feel small, feel free. I want to be pretty and perfect. And I think that is my UGW.