FreeSky.FlyHigh @freeskyflyhigh - Tumblr Blog

Getting old is so weird

Nothing seems to have changed

I do the same shit

But I swear I tried all those years lol

Now I see kids feeling like they’re old

How behind am I?

I wonder how old friends I used to talk to are doing

I want to know what happened in theirnlives all those years we drifted away, ask if they feel like a different person now

I feel like I’m less emotionally now, but that might not be it

I might’ve just lost hope, just living, surviving

Getting old is so weird

I wonder how everyone is doing

innocencelives

A few weeks ago 2 keys on my laptop broke, both ‘s’ and ‘c’. So now when I type them I either press too lightly and they don’t show up or I press too hard and it types multiple times.

This random occurrence gave me a slight epiphany, this is trauma, this is how it effects us. It interferes with our systems and unbalances many natural functions. Normal parts of being a human are affected and almost always it makes us desire too much or too little of something. Here is a list of things I’ve found that can go that way.

•sleeping: hypersomnia or insomnia

•sex: hypersexual or sex repulsed

•hypervigilence or desensitized

•dissociated or hyperaware

•love abuser or hate abuser

•hypersensitivity to pain or masochism

•narcissism or low self esteem

•desperate for attention or detesting attention

•obsession with trauma or avoidance of it

•obsession with triggers of avoidance of them

•self blame or blaming others

•craving abuse or avoiding at all costs

And let us not forget that people can experience both of these polar symptoms simultaneously, or alternate between them. Nor is this by any means a complete list, trauma manages to deregulate every system our body has in place, in response to trauma we are permanently altered.