fortune serves the guilty

while the gods can unleash their fury on the miserable { dependent rp account. closed, sorry! }

[fremja]

{{ wow i accidentally logged into this account. incredible.

I WANNA START RPING AGAIN BUT IM SO OUT OF THE FANDOM RN }}

[fremja]

{{ fuck

the naewata is strong within me }}

[basedtanaka]

OTP ⇨ Onceleon - Leon Kuwata ❤ Once-ler (inspired by this)

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

"Thank god…" Leon sighed as relief completely washed over him at last. There’s nothing to worry about anymore. At least, not today. Leon loosened his grip on Makoto so that he could wipe his the last of his tears away. He was so relieved, he was so relieved… He took the bag of chips from his friend and crinkled the folded edge in his hand.

"Makoto…" Leon mused, enjoying how the name rolled off of his tongue. It felt much better to say than Naegi…More fitting, if you could put. A smile graced Leon’s lips, if only for a moment. A replay of the event quickly flashed in Leon’s head. He had harshly jerked him forward and, in a rush of desperation, he had crushed his lips against Makoto’s. It was aggressive, frenzied, a sudden turn of events— It wasn’t fair nor romantic, whatsoever. The redhead started to feel ashamed that he even forced himself upon Makoto for that split moment.

"Sorry about that," He mumbled, "I wasn’t thinking and I was desperate. I just wanted you to stay, y’know? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…" And, for some reason, as he said this, it was getting difficult to breathe. His heart was beating fast, as if it was forcing him to say something else. Perhaps, this was how Hiyoko felt when she was confronting him. It was uncomfortable, it made his cheeks feel suddenly hot. 

"S-Say though, Makoto…" The redhead added on, "You wouldn’t mind if…I asked if I could kiss you again, right?" He held his gaze anywhere but at the brunet, "Just…" Another sigh left him. He was being shameless. 

"I….I’m curious, that’s all…" He lied. "I-I’m not trying anything, I swear. I just…Wanna know how it feels like kissing you, y’know?" That was a lame excuse. Lame lame lame lame lame. Leon wanted to hit himself. He could have smoothly acted it out, he could have at least tried captivating Makoto into wanting a kiss from him—But with all these feelings the brunet stirred in him, he was just so overwhelmed that he asked directly, boldly. "Nothing too personal…"

[fremja]

"...do you mind if I recover from the last one first?" Makoto says half-jokingly. Most of him was completely serious, though. This had been a very sudden turn of events. He also doesn't want to lead Leon on, and that had been a little too intimate for comfort. He also has to get his own feelings in order.

"It was just really sudden, you see, and I need to get a grip on everything that's happening first." Honest, just like his name told everyone about him. "And also, I feel like we just made a really big leap in our relationship anyhow -- I feel like maybe we should let that settle until we're both totally comfortable with the situation at hand." Makoto doesn't want to say outright that the feelings aren't reciprocated -- mostly because now, he has to actually figure that out.

"Sorry for putting you in a position to do that. It was really mean of me. I hope you'll forgive me," he says, shuffling in position and criss-crossing his leg. He starts untying his left shoe. "Uh...do you have a place where I should put my shoes?" Makoto considers his own organizational skills. "Wait. Is today Tuesday?"

[fremja]

i'm sorry i'm terrible at activity rn i'm SUPER unmotivated and i came back from vacation right into finals week so v stress

plus i've got an audition to do and three choirs to learn music for by late february that's like 25 songs people and seven or eight of them are in 8-PART HARMONY

sometimes dupp regrets being a singer. right now is one of those times

here listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zhbZlsqcI4

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

Leon glanced over at Makoto and gave him a rather meek smile. For the first time, he felt truly nervous. He couldn’t keep eye-contact. His eyes drifted from those beautiful green orbs and over to the sheets of his bed. No one’s ever said that to him before.

Tears started to prickle in the corner of his eyes. He didn’t tell Makoto much about himself or his background, yet the brunet had managed to tell him the exact words he had been dying to hear back then. He saw through his image. That had been enough to overwhelm Leon. He would have been scared, he would have brushed off those words and called Makoto a stupid liar, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself not belief the male’s words. His crush on his fellow peer made it impossible.

"N-Naegi…" He choked. His voice faltered and it embarrassed him. He wasn’t weak. He didn’t need to cry over this, but here he was, tears beginning to spill from his eyes, "You’re the only one whose ever said that to me. N-Not even my parents..!"  

He felt so pathetic for being so fucking touched. Makoto…He had a certain ability. He always brought the most out of Leon, especially today. Today, he stirred the most intense feelings in the redhead in a span of a few hours—It was almost unbearable. Leon tried his best to wipe away the tears that cascaded freely from his eyes and he slid down from his bed. He hugged the brunet tightly and crooned his neck down to hide his face within Makoto’s chocolate-colored locks.

"Y-You’re so fuckin’ kind to me…" He whispered, trying to keep control of his voice, "If I said this to anyone else, they wouldn’t have believed me at all…!" Then, he remembered a vital part of why this whole scenario happened. He unhooked Makoto and pushed him away so that he could stare dead straight into his eyes. He tried to ignore how pathetic he looked, all teary and emotional, and tried to put on a serious face. "Naegi…You’re not really leaving me, right? W-We just had this whole heart-to-fucking-heart conversation, so you’re not going to withdraw fro our friendship anymore, right..?"

[fremja]

He watches Leon slowly crumble in front of him and he begins to wonder if he did something terribly wrong.

"That's a shame, too," Makoto says wistfully, looking at the now-crying redhead on the bed. "You deserve to be told that you're not a failure, because you're not. Your parents should have looked out for you." He smiles up at him, watching Leon's movements as he moves off the bed.

Makoto finds himself wrapped in a warm embrace, the other person's head against his neck. He gently wraps his own arms around the figure, rubbing his back. "Of course I believe you," he says soothingly, hugging him tighter. He finds himself pushed away and stared at.

Makoto sighs, and smiles wearily. "Sometimes, Kuwata, I forget that the entire world isn't against me," he responds, shaking his head. "No, I'm not. I'm sorry I even suggested it; that was really stupid." He glances over to the side and picks up the bag of chips, handing them to Leon. "Here, you can have the rest. And, since you know so much about me now...you can call me Makoto if you want." He plays with his zipper again. "And as far as your -- advance, earlier, just...please ask next time, okay?"

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

Was it odd that this talk only strengthened the feelings Leon had for Makoto? Makoto was brave, he was strong for telling this. Courage—That was what Leon adored in a person. He ate a few more sticks as Makoto talked and chuckled.

"Well…" How awkward would it be if Leon admitted that he had already lost his? A knot caught in his throat and he kept silent as he uncomfortably began to fiddle with one of the biscuit sticks. He couldn’t come out clean about his past like Makoto had. It was…just impossible. "I still think you’re a great person, nonetheless. You quit, didn’t you? That takes a lot—To realize what you’re doing is bad. And…Well, you shaped up.

You’re brave, Naegi. I like that. A lot.” He rolled onto his stomach and gleamed a grin back at his friend. “We’re two sides of the same coin, y’know? …Or was it same side of the same coin? Whatever it is. I still see you as a great person. In my eyes, from everything I did and experienced, you’re still great. You didn’t meddle with a street gang just because you were bored, right? You didn’t do some bizarre stuff because you didn’t feel comfortable being home, right?” Leon stared intently at the lone stick of pocky in his hand. 

"It’s weird. If you have too much talent, nobody likes you, If you have no talent, nobody likes you." He mused, "If you’re rich, nobody likes you. If you’re poor, nobody cares. Someone can be fighting a hard battle, but we make fun of the scars they get from that said battle instead of appreciating it. Society’s pretty fucked up, isn’t it? We’re pretty fucked up….Maybe that’s why this is all happening…”

[fremja]

He sets the bag of chips aside and looks at Leon seriously, hoping to get his attention.

"I'm sorry, Kuwata, that you weren't comfortable at home. That's terrible..." Makoto trails off, scooting closer to the bed and stares into Leon's eyes. "I don't know how often people tell you this, but -- you're good, and smart, and worth knowing, alright? You and I have both had our share of mistakes; I'm not proud of what I've done and what it nearly led to, and you don't seem proud of yourself either.

"You're fine, okay? Please remember that. Maybe you're right, maybe society's fucked up because of things that have been done by us, by everyone, but you're not bad. Try not to lose faith in yourself. And if you find yourself falling, the path up can be hard and long, but if you take it, you'll get where you need to go."

Makoto smiles lightly. "And if you don't choose it, well -- try to remember what I said, okay?"

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

"Seriously? This stuff’s the bomb though..!" Despite it, Leon caught the box and laid on his bed. He opened it and took out one lone stick and stuck it in his mouth. He played around with it, trying to make it stand straight as he balanced it in between his teeth as he listened to Makoto. Hearing that the brunet did drugs though, Leon shot up and glanced at the smaller boy.

"Shit—You’re kidding? You getting high?!"  Leon exclaimed, taking the biscuit stick out of his mouth, "You really don’t seem like the type of guy!" He fell straight back on his bed again and began to chomp down on the stick before grabbing out another one. Makoto being a rebel—He just couldn’t see it at all. He was too nice, too innocent-looking. He was so kind and caring….Leon glanced back over at his crush.

"Did you have it hard, too?" He asked curiously, "You don’t have to tell me, I’m just curious…" It’d be nice to know that someone also went down a rough road. Leon played around with the pocky once more, his appetite not as great as his curiosity. He honestly wanted to know—He had always stuck with this mentality that everyone else had perfect, little unsoiled road to wander down life. Great parents, a sibling, and maybe a pet or two—the ideal family. Knowing that Makoto who came from the same sort of background had his own struggles was a total, yet not unwanted, surprise. 

"I would’ve done drugs too," Leon added in, just to make the brunet feel better. "…But my baseball team did drug checks regularly and my dad’s an alcoholic—So I didn’t want to risk getting addicted to something." 

[fremja]

The brown-haired male looks at him. "Alcohol's rough too. Not as efficient as drugs, but it works if there's nothing else around." He plays with the strings on his hoodie, moving to fiddling with the zipper. "So yeah, I'm not as great as you think I am. I'll tell you, since I can tell you're curious -- I'm not all that great, alright? Like I said, my sister's a lot stronger than I am."

Makoto sighs to himself. "When I was in grade school, I was...chubby. Or maybe a little more than chubby. My family was wonderful, but we came from the poor part of our town, and so we did without a lot of material things that most of my classmates had. A lot of people used to make fun of me and my sister. I eventually started feeling like I was worthless; untalented with no friends and overweight to boot, and finally I let myself be coerced into doing all sorts of things.

"I've never lost my virginity, mind you-" he rapidly assures Leon, then continues, "-but I've done drugs, drank, and smoked. I didn't do drugs or drink very often at all; smoking was a little easier to hide, so I did that more often. I stopped eating as much until the weight started wearing off.

"Something bad happened, and I quit," he stated, crinkling the chip bag while he's talking. "I finally figured out that I needed to respect myself; I had to understand that I wasn't a bad person just because I wasn't talented or fit. It took me a while to finally come to terms with it...in fact, I didn't truly come to terms with it until I came here, I guess, and made some true friends." Makoto nods after he speaks. "So, thank you, Kuwata, for not doing drugs and drinking. It's a painful road, and I don't wish it on anybody. Nobody deserves to put themselves through that."

"I bet you don't think I'm so great now. In fact, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to stop being friends, even. There's a reason that I don't tell people outside of the few who were involved about that phase of my life."

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

Leon gave a soft grin, nodding along as Makoto talked about his family. He slipped his keys back into his pocket and walked into the dormitory room after the brunet. Oh, how Leon wished he had a sibling. Perhaps, his own family life wouldn’t have been too bad with one around…

"I still think that’s great." The athlete commented as he made his way over to his bed and sat down, "Greater than me, at least." He reached down, at a stray bag lying by the side of his bed, and opened it. Inside, a stash of snacks were found. Leon fished out a box of green tea pocky and a small bag of Lay’s regular flavored chips (he didn’t know if Makoto loved the sour ones). 

"Hey, catch." He chucked the box of pocky at Makoto first, then the bag of Lay’s. "I used to be smart until…fourth or fifth grade. Stuff happened. I gave up completely during sixth grade. I almost couldn’t get promoted, y’know? Uh…I tried picking myself up in middle school, but I couldn’t. So I stuck with baseball to get a scholarship—Which is how I winded up here!" Perhaps, that was the only good thing that came out of baseball for Leon. Hope’s Peak…It was definitely a one-of-a-kind school. "I wasn’t the most stablest kids at school though. I had a really bad anger problem and I kept getting into fights. The teachers totally hated me and I got a lot of shit from my baseball team—They actually come here, sometimes. They have a lot of fun trying to jump me and shit. So, after a while, I learned that it was probably best to stay within school boundaries..” That and because he managed to piss off a local gang. But Makoto didn’t need to know that, right?

"If you saw me during middle school, honestly, you wouldn’t have thought twice to be my friend." He mused, "I was a bastard…Well, I didn’t do alcohol or drugs though! I was just seriously two-faced and aggressive."

[fremja]

Makoto catches the food items, shaking his head. "I can't eat all this. Here, you catch," he says, opting to toss the pocky back to Leon. He listens to Leon's story, sighing to himself. He cracks open the bag of Lays after the tale is finished. He smiles as he does it.

"Good for you, never doing drugs," Makoto says, shame and experience creeping into his tone. "Once you get off the high, reality snaps back and you can't pretend like things are different anymore. Honestly, that realization alone makes it not worth it." He chomps quietly on a chip.

His own silence feels awkward, memory setting in as he understands the confessional he just made. What he said was honest -- utterly honest. He eats half the bag of chips and finds that he doesn't have the appetite for more. He gently folds the top of the bag over.

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

”Right? I don’t mess with bossy people—Especially if they’re arrogant.” Leon remarked, “I can’t even tolerate my own narcissism at times!” He chuckled softly at his own little statement as the two wandered down the halls. It was partially true, after all. He couldn’t tolerate arrogant people since he already had to tolerate with his own conceited self everyday and that was more than enough for Leon.

"I was a kid who found the living room floor more comfortable than his bed. My mom never liked it…" Leon idly squeezed Makoto a bit tighter, "When I was a little kid, she’d always pick me up and drag me into my bed and scold me in the morning, heheh…I grew older and the habit never really stopped and she’d have to like, kick me awake and yell at me to go to my room. Good times, right?" Leon breathed in and a flash of pain spread through his features. He couldn’t say the same about his own family, unfortunately. 

"I bet your family really misses you a lot too…" Leon mused as he used his free-hand to rummage around in his pockets, trying to get the key to his dorm room. "They were good people, weren’t they?" Finally finding the small key in his front pocket, Leon took it out and began to unlock his dormitory door. He put his index finger in front of his mouth, beckoning Makoto to talk in a more silent tone as he slowly opened the door. The last thing he wanted the brunet to deal with, besides the mutual killing fiasco, was a lecture from what could possibly be a cranky roommate.

"I mean, look at you, you’re like—an A-rank son!" His tone was hushed as he stepped aside, wanting Makoto to enter first. "I’m more of a….C-Rank son, y’know…Heheh…But….Tell you what, you’ll see your family again once we get out of here…"

[fremja]

"You're not that bad," Makoto says, grinning a little. "Well, actually - nah, I'm just kidding." He pats Leon's arm in recognition of his gesture. "Sleep wherever you want then, I guess. I'll sleep in the corner farthest away from a possibly angry roommate, sound fair?"

Honestly, Makoto loves nothing more than his family. He takes a moment to reflect on all of his good memories while Leon searches for the keys. He shuffles in place a little, nodding. "Yes...they're wonderful. I don't think I could ever live up to my parents. My sister, maybe. She's quote-unquote 'accidentally' tripped me over the stairs about six times," he says, doing the air quotes to match. "I don't know though. She's so strong; a lot stronger than I ever was."

Makoto nods in response to Leon's shushing gesture, scanning the area around him. Obviously, it's similar to his own dormitory. He looks to a corner near the door and starts planning to camp there. A sleepover sounds fun, to be honest. He's only been to one.

"You seem pretty cool, actually," Makoto admits. "And an A-rank son? Me?" He chuckles lightly. "If only you knew, Kuwata..." he states, trailing off and shaking his head, a regretful smile on his face. "I'm not as great as you might think I am. Not to mention, I've never gotten above a B- on anything, or ever done any extracurricular activity that I was good at. No one ever comes to my house to watch me do things, like they do at my neighbor's houses. And that's okay."

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

Makoto’s happy. Leon felt something flutter inside of him and he smiled again. A warmer smile, one that wasn’t uncertain. The redhead chuckled also and removed his hand from the other’s wrist so that he could wrap his arm around his shoulder instead. 

"Yeah, I heard Togami’s quite a bitch." He jested, "Lucky for you my roomate’s only…Well, weird. Uh, I know it’s gonna be totally unexpected and all but if we disturb him, surely he’ll understand, right? Maybe if we talk in a low voice, he won’t notice us." The worst case scenario is that, if his roommate did get bothered with the small addition of Makoto for the night, then Leon and Makoto would have to camp out somewhere…But then they wouldn’t be able to sleep. One of the new rules introduced stated clearly that it was "illegal" to sleep outside of the dormitory floor. A punishment would be given if anyone broke that rule and, well, Leon didn’t want another near-death experience. He began walking down the halls, stealing glances from left to right, trying to see if there was anyone near.

"And your dorm room is right next to mine, right?" Leon added in, "We can sneak you back in there after your done. Unless…Uh, you wanna sleep in my dorm and all.." No, that would be awkward, considering that Leon had just kissed Makoto moments ago… "If that’s the case, then I’ll let you sleep on my bed and I can take the floor, alright?"

[fremja]

Makoto decides to not fight against Leon's half-embrace. He is pulled in closer and doesn't go rigid. "He's really not so bad," he responds. "Perhaps a little bossy, but if you treat him with respect, he'll do the same. He and I talked quite a bit when we first roomed, and he helped me put up my tackboard the day after." He smiles softly. "I could see how maybe you two wouldn't get along."

"If I decide to stay -- there's no need, alright? I'm known for being able to fall asleep anywhere, promise. I was hiding from my sister once and my parents found me asleep on top of a bookshelf. I've slept in laundry baskets, large cabinets, flat on the ground, you name it," Makoto laughs quietly. "...I really miss my family." He almost pulls away from Leon, but stays put.

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[miindeul]

Was Makoto telling him to stay now? How ironic. Leon stayed firm on his feet, slightly relaxing that the brunet showed some kind of response. Was he mad? Leon scanned Makoto’s features for any signs of anger…He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t mad. Slowly, a soft smile spread on Leon’s lips. Did that mean Makoto forgave him, then?

“Naegi…" He began, his voice light. He felt flattered with the fact Makoto was considerate about the safety of both of them—-But breaking their friendship off? It wasn’t worth it. Leon’s expression almost immediately hardened. "We could still be friends and be safe, y’know..It doesn’t have to be like this…” He stepped forward and reached out to grab the brunet’s hand, he could see how shaken up the poor teen was. However, at the last moment, he realized what he was doing and awkwardly grabbed Makoto’s wrist instead.

"Let’s eat…Then…We could get this all sorted out, alright?" Leon bounced on his heels. Shit, what time was it? Was the electricity still on? "…Uh, we could go back to my dorm. I have snacks there. You could eat ‘em and then we could sort out everything and you can sleep…I know it’s not much, but I don’t think the cafeteria is open.."

[fremja]

Leon isn't angry at him. Leon isn't angry at him anymore. Makoto feels fairly jubilant in that moment, but still shaken by the previous events. He wasn't accustomed to that kind of behavior from other people -- at least, not on a serious level. He's not sure whether to feel alarmed, or protective, or -

safe.

He's acutely surprised when he feels that warmth envelop him. It almost starts shaking him up even more, so he forces himself to really listen to Leon's words and really comprehend them. He chuckles lightly at Leon's last statement.

"No, it's fine. I don't think I really want to go face my roommate right now -- I might end up snapping at him or something, like I did at you, and that wouldn't end well." He considers moving his hand into a less awkward position, but quickly concludes that it'd make it more so. "Will your roommate mind? I don't want to impose."

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

[fremja]

miindeul:

You fucked up. The very thought circled Leon’s mind. You shouldn’t have kissed him, you idiot. He was just caught up in the moment, so stupid—selfish, even. He just wanted Makoto to stay with him. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently so. The silence that looked throughout the corridor easily answered that for him. Makoto must have been disgusted at him now, appalled. Leon breathed in and took a step back. There was no way Makoto swung that way, of course. No matter how attractive Leon was, he couldn’t charm someone into changing their sexuality just for him.

'I-I said I was sorry, Naegi…” Leon spoke up again. Could he make the situation better, “I'm…I'm not actually like that. I—I just forgot who I was dealin' with, that's all…” Leon let out a nervous string of laughter. Yes, lie your way out of it, dumbass. Lying. That’s probably the only thing Leon knew how to do well, besides baseball. “I mean, normally, that kind of tactic would work for a gal and—Naegi, please..I said I was sorry…” Cautiously, Leon took another step back. He couldn’t let his heart pour out again. He breathed in and closed his eyes. 

It’s over.

His friendship with Makoto was truly over..

"I...I'm sorry, please wait," Makoto says softly, attempting to call out to him but barely finding the voice. "Please stay, I'm sorry." He continues staring down at his feet, unsure of how best to deal with the situation. He almost feels like bursting into tears. He'd be lying if he didn't say Monokuma's speech had put significant wear and tear on him. He doesn't want to lose this friendship-

"I'm confused," he says honestly. "I'm confused, and freaked out, and I haven't eaten in a while so I'm really tired and I'm a bit stressed," he admits. "I came off as really rough, I'm sorry--hear me out. I only want to keep both of us safe, really, but I don't know what to do now and I'm scared and-"

[fremja]

why should i stay? [ makoto && leon ]

The moment wizzes by with a tense noise and a smacking of skin on skin as Leon's lips had met his. Makoto is tempted to struggle away, feeling upset already -- but instead can't find the will to move. Leon pulls away and murmurs something that Makoto almost can't process. His eyes stare blankly ahead and he stares at his shoes. This had all been a very bad idea. In the interest of protecting both himself and his friend, Makoto had honestly felt that the best way to achieve this was to split up. Nothing like in-team betrayal to get people killed. He's almost dizzy from the event, confused and maybe even a little bit sad. He can't even find the strength to open his mouth in response.

[fremja]

you guys reblog so many fucking ask memes i almost started crying scrolling through my dash jesus christ

[miindeul]

…

Y-Yeah, I’m fine now. Uh…

[ Subconsciously, he rubbed his neck with one of his hands.]

Heheh…God, imagine if that knife actually got me! I’d be gone—forever. That’d be like, really bad, right? 

[ He gave a semi-shy smile.]

But this whole thing…Uh, you’re not participatin’ in it either, right? Because it’s so stupid and all?

[fremja]

of course that'd be bad! thank god you're not dead! i'm happy you got out alive.

no, i wouldn't dream of participating in this...i refuse. i refuse to lower myself to killing anybody. none of us are bad people; none of us deserve that.

monokuma did say we are on separate teams...if worse comes to worse and we're forced to participate -- we can still be friends, right?

[fremja]

{{ damn i'll type something up soon ok }}

{{ you guys move at the speed of light i s2g }}