PHILANTHROPY

Do you think love can bloom even on a battlefield?

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Indie Hal "Otacon" Emmerich of Metal Gear Solid. Played by Raive. She/her, 30+, EST

Been around writing Hal a while (2013, baby) on different blogs, most recently my defunct multimuse. Back again on a single.

Verses include: Resident Evil, Dispatch, DC/Marvel, Star Wars and more.

Selective / Exclusive and very low activity.

About | Rules | Verses

Side blogs: Sunny, Raiden, Meryl, Lance (OC)

Other blogs: Anakin

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@through-worlds-and-time for snake / liked for an angsty starter

It's 2am and he isn't pretending that he's working like he might have on some other night. The living room is dark save for the TV. He has some random anime streaming from a YouTube playlist. There's a cold Cup Ramen sitting on the small table beside him, still full. In the middle of it all, he sits with his knees up to his chest on the couch. His chin is buried in his arms. He looks like the couch could swallow him if it so wanted to do so.

The melancholy of day time has made way for late night depression. At least when the light streams in through the windows, he can make himself busy with phone calls and associates. They're still fugitives, after all. They need to figure out how to move around without the FBI on their tails. Right now, they're fine in the middle of nowhere, but they lay low. They're lucky they didn't get caught in NYC, but Hal suspects that has something to do with the bigger problem in the Hudson River.

He has the sudden need to wash his hands, even though there's nothing on them. He's been doing that a lot lately. Hal forces him to stay still when he hears the creak of his partner's footsteps. It's for his benefit and he knows it.

"It should've been me," he says, as if David could read his mind. Not that it would take too many guesses to figure out why Hal's been so despondent the last few weeks.

[n313s]

She knows Emmerich is no wilting flower. She also knows that she could fold him like origami and then some, even if he did fight back. More than anything, she knows she doesn't want to ruin what they have, no matter what the alcohol says to the contrary. She can keep it together. She can keep him. She wants to keep him.

"Talk to someone about what? Whiskey preferences? I'd call Miller." She tugs her shirt back on over her vest top, buttoning it up with practised movements. The shakes haven't gotten to her yet, and she could do this in her sleep. Big Boss had loved to drag her outside at the crack of dawn to train, and he had expected her to be in uniform; but if he'd found her sleeping in it, he'd thrashed her. There were sleeping clothes and there were field clothes, and so long as she was in FOXHOUND base, she'd mind the difference. On a mission, she could do whatever she wanted.

He'd forced her to shower, too. She's lapsed in that department. Her hair is greasy. She doesn't reek, but she smells stale. She doesn't like getting into the shower stall anymore, knowing what half the soldiers here think of her. It's asking to be jumped.

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"Don't be dense. You know what I mean."

He should leave. She's brushed off his offer for help. He's not needed here. Maybe he's never been needed at all. He should go back to what he's good at: fixing machines and computers. Interacting with other people has never been his strong suit. He can't stop her from drinking and he can't force her to take care of herself. Maybe pointing it out is doing more harm than good.

But that's just it. He doesn't want someone else to catch this. He knows she's not the most popular person around. Not after everything that happened--and even Hal doesn't have all the details.

He stops before he takes his leave.

"Is it really so bad for someone to care about you?"

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... my antivirus had to update and it has a drop down for remind me later: "1 hour" "tomorrow" "next century"

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Like for an angsty starter at some point.

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Tomodachi life shenanigans: snake and otacon got married even tho otacon was not getting along with snake lmfao

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I think mii otacon has too much self esteem.

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Hal's song for the day.

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I forgot in all of that ramble Abt how Naomi and hals thing didn't need to be hamfisted into the narrative. Like even if you're not seeing it through a ship lens, are platonic relationships not just as important and devastating to lose? Even if it didn't strike as yikes for other reasons, is it not just a strange distraction to the more complex loss?

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Im tagging u cause u got me thinking Abt it with your ask rep @ciircumserpent so have fun reading me ramble I guess

can we talk about how all Hal wants is for Snake to be happy, for Snake to see himself as worthy of living, for Snake not to see himself as expendable even in spite of how things turn out? It's in ever exasperated interaction they have in mgs4. Hal resigned to snakes actions. Never treating him differently, in spite of everything, but just thinking-- you've been handed a shit deal. You've earned it to rest, and it's not fair you didn't get the same amount of time as everyone else but still still still you've done your best.

Like Hal obviously wants snake to be okay. He wants to reverse the aging. He wants snake to have a normal life and for them to live it out together.

But It's in direct contrast to Meryl's reaction to seeing snake where she's like oh God what happened to you, you're OLD. Which I mean fair but she like straight up throws it in his face.

Now I haven't played or watched mgs4 in full in ages, but I don't ever get the sense Hal does this. His desire for Snake to stop isn't about his aging. It's about the intent behind it. It's the suicide mission aspect. It's the lack of any care for himself and Hal has to resign himself to that because he can't stop him. And there's no one else really.

But aside from all of that. I think it's telling that even while Hal is like hey are you sure about this, he also is still 100%, forever and always, Snakes #1 Fan boy. He's out there being like cheerleader as always. But also worrying about him. Caring about him.

Idk idk idk I always think about their dynamic in that game. And I think there's facets of Hal always being behind him every step of the way but also genuine concern and upset and underlying fear that... He's losing him, another person, his main person. Faster than even the aging.

(something something Hal doesn't see snake as a burden something something he's a person not a tool)

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I keep thinking I should pop in and be like it's ok guys I'm still here I swear but that's what the low activity note on my pinned is for isn't it.

[condomconfetti]

　　　　"Well, you feelin' like revisiting any of those for a bit?" Sarsi asked, smiling at the sheepish grin on his face. It was just so adorable on him, she thought. "Paddle ball sounds fun, but it's up to you."

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"Are you offering to play a round?"

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Like for an angsty starter at some point.

[imhereforotasune]

Broke: Snake is bad with technology.

Woke: Snake canonically has an IQ of 180, he's just not a super tech genius like Otacon.

Bespoke: Snake pretends to be bad with technology because he knows it drives Otacon insane.

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How the hell has this happened.

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Almost all is right in the world.

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Some things about Hal, relationships and erotica I guess?? That I turn around in my head:

Hal is definitely that weeb who has read all sorts of things from the normal and mainstream to the abnormal and depraved. He's even collected some of the more fringe.

Definitely had his collection of ecchi figures.

But in terms of actual preferences outside of the fictional, Hals never had much time to figure out his preferences. Being the way that he is, very separate from people, he was kind of repressed, but also didn't really think about it much? Not outside of the hypothetical or fictional, safe space.

His interest is tied in with his feelings for the person, so he has to believe he's in love with them in order for there to be any physical interest.

Whoever his partner is in his 20s is basically who ends up forming his preferences, his likes and dislikes, his exploratory phase. And I think because of how his emotions are with the people he's with, he's very willing to jump into anything. He's very willing to please-- perhaps too willing.

He's considered the kind of relationship he's wanted to be in, the kind of things he'd like to do but it was also sort of terrifying to consider getting close to anyone in that way.

Which might be why he develops any kind of feelings toward Sniper Wolf-- she's dangerous and untouchable and there's no way she will have any interest in him. It's safe and unattainable even if he pretends she isn't.

When things are attainable, Hal is a lot less sure. He's a lot more cautious and definitely not anywhere near optimistic. Because who would fall in love with him anyway?

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How the hell has this happened.