[pridebicons]

nonbinary chiikawa pride icon

requested by anon

like/rb if using + credit

[titsay]

[art-of-bee]

kinda afraid to cast this into the void as its very personal. but maybe someone will have a lightbulb moment the same way i did some weeks ago.

ive discovered im very likely OCD and ASD (turns out the venn diagram of these is like 99% a circle) and ive been struggling to internalize and adapt to that information, as well as shift therapy focus toward it. i love my therapist and she's been undergoing her own personal research for herself + her kids as they show similar signs.

it came as kind of a shock to me. so many of my friends are on the spectrum so i was very familiar with the condition and how very different (and yet so common!) it is among all people. but when i self-tested i was always very low and on a "meh, maybe" borderline. this is why its important to check with a 3rd party to get a more unbiased opinion.

im one of those non-stereotypical cases. very empathetic and social. critical of myself and worried about "acting normal". repetition is comfortable to me but i do it internally/quietly. executive function and inertia are really hard on me. i enjoy conversation and small talk and staying in touch with people. i do well with understanding animals. i have only mild sensory processing issues. group activities are fun and something i seek out daily, but i might suddenly run out of battery. or not! my capacity to do stuff varies greatly from day to day. and very good at masking and holding it together in situations, only to collapse later on. my need to stim is pretty lowkey.

it was hard for me to pick what specific traits to put on this. im still not 100% happy with my choices but i never will be, i think. i detest the idea that certain Things instantly flag you as [insert ND diagnosis here], such as Liking Trains or Biting Your Nails. its part of the reason why i had such a hard time understanding myself. i was trying to check a bunch of boxes that would never fit me.

making this image was kind of me thinking back on how i acted and felt and thought as a kid, versus an adult now with the experiences and tools to manage my life. so a lot of these are not autistic "tells" as much as they are part of a constellation of traits that i was struggling to deny and rationalize. but doing that betrays that bright little kid who didnt have the help she needed. and so i cant reject who i am anymore. i accept it now. she deserved better.

i will not be seeking an official diagnosis for personal reasons..

[friendly-caffeine-cryptid]

Welp it's me

[chiikawagifs]

[maruti-bitamin]

lotus

ink & watercolour

twitter/ insta/bluesky/ store

I will be at Happy Cute Mart this Saturday~!

[veryluckyclovers]

[tulipfemme-deactivated20240718]

i mean this completely seriously but… a cup of coffee can save your life a little, a shower can save your life a little, making your favorite meal can save your life a little…….little things actually add up to really big things in the long run if you let them, the secret to surviving everyday is infusing a little bit of magic into the mundane i truly believe that

[artbylittlebug]

[ieailu]

it’s so crucial that i lay down for a bit

[petrawood]

WHY ARE THIS TWO GIVING SO MUCH DIVORCED ENERGY WHAT IS GOING ON HERE

LIKE, THEY ARE SO PETTY FOR NO REASON?

IM A FIGHT RIGHT??

[barokworks]

This hat means a lot to me. Promise that you´ll give it back to me someday... ...when you have become a great pirate.

[yasminacreates]

You are born to be happy, NOT normal! ;)

[heavensghost]

the hardest thing is when ur going through something terrible there is an awful middle phase of it when u don’t know if u can get through it or if you’ll ever be okay again and the truth is always you will get through it and you will absolutely be okay again but u just cant see it at the time

[discountscoobyart]

time for another hozier x satosugu piece

[anxietyproblem]

[octoberloved]

[yuutaguro]

this is why nanami doesn’t go for sweet drinks 🍸