The Frog Blog

[froggyphevoli]

I’ve wanted to be a published author since I was 6 years old.

At age 16, I began writing my first novel, Side Effect.

Many years, many drafts, and many failed publishing attempts later, it is finally time for my dreams to come true.

Side Effect will be released on Amazon on October 27th!!!!!

[froggyphevoli]

Something I haven’t done in a while: Found a random avatar generator and made a few of my OCs.

@neirawrites, can you guess who all of these people are? ;)

[saikkuart]

You thought I was done drawing this man? Think again

[temporiibus]

ghostbusters afterlife (2021)

[saikkuart]

A man and his spores, molds and fungus.

[phoebe-spengler]

He's not nuts. He was like me.

[froggyphevoli]

My Thirst is Real, Though He is Not

[Warning! This post contains spoilers for Ghostbusters: Afterlife.]

I think this whole “bringing dead actors back with CGI” thing is officially starting to fuck with me. But not for the reasons you’re probably expecting.

When Star Wars did it, I know it was controversial because people weren’t sure if it was tasteful or not. I haven’t really made up my mind yet on how I feel about the Star Wars ones, but I do think the way that Ghostbusters: Afterlife handled it was pretty much perfect. Spengler had no speaking lines, and the only time you saw his face (other than the old commercial scenes) were when he was a ghost, which would have required CGI anyway. Plus the filmmakers got permission from Harold Ramis’s family first, and the entire movie was basically a tribute to him.

So, why did this version of CGI resurrection fuck with my head so much, despite being executed as flawlessly as possible? I’m just gonna be blunt here: Egon Spengler became a GILF.

It gets weirder though. Ramis died several years ago, so Grandpa Spengler was created by aging up archive footage from the original Ghostbusters movies. Not only did Spengler canonically live longer than the actor who played him, but the filmmakers also decided to keep him in the same physical shape as he was back in the ‘80s, rather than getting a body double who looked more like Ramis in his later years. And the result was… quite hot.

In other words, I suddenly found myself attracted to a version of a person that never existed, although the person himself was real (Ramis). I mean, I guess “I’m attracted to the character but not the actor” and vice versa are things that happen, but this seems a bit different.

Jesus fucking Christ, I grew up watching the first two Ghostbusters movies, and I was never horny for any of those characters until last week when I saw Afterlife and ghostly old Spengler appeared. Now I’m scouring the Internet for Spengler content, and even ‘80s Spengler is really doing it for me, despite that not previously being the case.

It also doesn’t help that Curtis keeps joking that I look like a nonbinary Spengler because of my hair, so on top of all the other things that make this weird, I’m also wondering if having a crush on this character makes me narcissistic and/or incesty.

HELP?!?!?!?

[froggyphevoli]

How I Accidentally Made My Friends Fall in Love With an Abandoned Can of Coors Light

On November 2nd, 2021, I came across something rather odd as I was leaving work.

I decided to take a photo of it (shown above) and posted it to Facebook with the following caption:

It’s… It’s just sitting there. On the sidewalk. Unopened. Is it a trap?

I received several comments on that post. I’ll put a few of my favorite examples below.

The Fae are getting creative

Talk about “thirst trap”!!!! 😬 I’ll see myself out…

Totally a trap probably glued to the ground…LOL

[A gif of Admiral Ackbar saying “It’s a trap!”]

To my surprise, the can was still there the following morning, so I made another Facebook post:

Day 2: That Coors Light is still there, still on the same spot on the sidewalk, and still unopened. I took a more “scenic” picture this time so you can see that it’s right outside where I work.

(Note: Full disclosure, the above photo is edited from the one I originally posted. I censored out the sign because I’m publishing this publicly and don’t want Internet strangers knowing where I work.)

This one received a few comments as well, but nothing extremely noteworthy. The day after that was when shit really started to get real.

Day 3: I have decided to name the can Rocky. Today, Rocky moved, but not very far. Perhaps he just wanted to hang out somewhere a little comfier? He remains unopened.

Day 3 marked not only the first time our subject moved, but also the moment the newly named Rocky became personified. My friends had a lot to say this time; once again, I’ll put my favorite comments below.

Go home Rocky!! You drunk!

Also I’m completely invested in this!! [posted by same person who posted the comment above]

I feel like I want to bring a little Blankey over and cover Rocky up. We have all been there. So invested.

This whole saga is weirdly compelling.

I’m cracking up…and totally curious as to what tomorrow will bring to our dear rocky.

I had obviously created a monster, but now I was committed. The next morning, I stopped by Rocky’s spot on my way in to work, eager to share his latest update with his adoring fans.

You can imagine my disappointment when Rocky was nowhere to be found.

I looked all around the grassy area in case he had just rolled a bit, but I soon had to admit defeat. I quickly made a post on Facebook announcing that Rocky was gone, and thanking everyone for embarking on his journey with me. Had he been thrown away by a well-meaning Samaritan? Had he been drank by a homeless person? Had he left town to go pursue his modeling career? I thought that we would never know.

And then I entered my place of work, and was met with a most wonderful surprise.

Rocky was alive!!!

I then got rid of my previous Facebook post and made a new one, featuring the above photo and the below caption:

Day 4, amended: I deleted my post from a few minutes ago announcing Rocky’s disappearance. Right after I posted it, I went inside, and look who I found sitting on my desk! 🤣🤣🤣

And of course, my ridiculous friends delivered with their comments:

Start a ‘go fund me’ for the support of raising Rocky. Tell your story and I just know people will donate. After all, Rocky was adopted and brought in from a life of neglect and potentially harsh conditions.

Had me all tore up for a second..glad Rocky is safe.

I couldn’t really keep a can of beer at my work desk, and now that things had gotten this far I didn’t want to put Rocky back where I originally found him, so I had to make a decision. It wasn’t a very difficult decision.

Day 5: Hot damn, look at Rocky living his best life! He got a makeover AND a girlfriend!

I had originally planned not to interfere in Rocky’s journey, but once he appeared on my desk, I knew I had to bring him home. He and Cakelyn are now living happily on top of our kitchen cabinets.

(For those curious how I got the sunglasses on him, it was just super glue.)

My friends were pleased:

I’m so glad they’ve found love and companionship.

Love wins!💓

So Rocky got his happy ending. I haven’t posted any updates since, because I’m not really sure where to take the story from here, but I think that last one made for a better finale than any of us could have predicted. Until my mysterious coworker intervened, I just assumed that this story would end with Rocky vanishing one day and there would be no closure involved. As silly as this entire ordeal was, I’m relieved that that wasn’t the case.

If this nonsense doesn’t prove what a great storyteller I am, I don’t know what will!

[bbcsherlockpickuplines]

R.I.P. Una Stubbs

Hey guys. I know this blog is almost completely inactive at this point, but I just heard the news about Una a few minutes ago, and it felt wrong not to post something in her honor.

Obviously I didn’t know Una personally, but Sherlock has touched my life in an extremely significant way, and so Una has also touched my life simply by being such a core part of the show. Her portrayal of Mrs. Hudson is a shining example of kindness, bravery, cleverness, and resilience, and I sincerely hope that I can embody even half of that when I get to that age.

Una, thank you for sharing your talents with the world. You are greatly respected and greatly missed.

~ Froggy, your admin

[thesevenumbrellas]

Almost burst into happy tears

[maliciousindungeon]

[nevaehtyler]

His name is Steven Udotong.

[pengychan]

Imagine taking courses to write effective headlines and then see people who don’t know shit trying to be snarky online.

Guys. For the billionth time. Headlines need to give as much relevant details as possible while still being short enough to be read at a glance or almost, and get people to read the rest. Unless the article is about someone well-known enough that we can safely assume the reader will recognize them, first names do not go in headlines. 

It is not about refusing to write the names of minorities in headlines. It is literally the first thing you’re taught when it comes to writing them.

[curlicuecal]

On the other hand, just look how much funnier headlines could be if we adopted this policy

[chelonianmobile]

Seriously, do people think the headline is literally all that exists? There’s a whole article underneath it, you know!

[slasherwitch]

This is great. It explains it very well with the examples. Though I am laughing at the title “human brian” instead of “human brain”. Who was supposed to proofread that? Fail

[froggyphevoli]

Camping With Curtis

I wrote this poem a couple nights ago, between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m., while camping with Curtis and some friends. For the record, Curtis did indeed survive the night.

All these years you’ve been kind, loving, and true

Yet here I lie, fantasizing about murdering you

You snooze soundly, in every fucking sense of the word

Your god damned snoring is the worst sound I have ever heard

I am currently on night two in a row of no sleep

I cannot decide whether I want to scream or simply weep

This descent into madness puts so many thoughts in my head

Most of which involve strangling you while you’re in bed

Tonight’s a bit different since we’re camping in a tent

Out here in the woods, no one will ever know where your body went

Just one little crime would forever rid me of this pest

Perhaps then I could finally get some motherfucking rest

I am completely unhinged right now, I fully admit it

But only because you won’t let me sleep, you absolute shit

Either your death or mine would be equally favorable at this point

Thanks to you, I can’t even pass out after smoking a fat joint

There are so many gruesome ways this situation could be done

I’m writing this poem to distract me from acting on one

Maybe I should take a break and go for a three a.m. walk

If I don’t distance myself, I just might make you choke on your own cock

Perhaps if I’m lucky, I’ll get mauled by a bear while I’m out

Even that would be preferable to continuing down this route

Remembering all of our happy times together isn’t enough anymore

My thirst for your blood increases with every fucking snore

I’ll share this poem with you if you live until the morning

You may find it funny, but do please heed it as a warning

This will probably be used in court to assign me blame

But if any of the jury heard your snoring, I think they would have done the same

[basementtreasure]

been thinking about appearances and stuff

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Nothing has ever been this relateable I’m gonna cry

[enerjax]

The very first day of Team Rocket AU!! Happy Valentine’s Day!! 🌧💕 I wanted to draw the cutest, crankiest couple finding their newest family member ❤️ Jessie & James AU where on their adorable Valentine’s Day stroll through the rain they hear very upset meows from a soaking wet kitty abandoned in an alley. They pick him up and take him home to give him all the warm cuddles 🌧🌧🌧 I hope you like it!! Have a lovely day ❤️

[froggyphevoli]

My custom Converse design for this year! Turquoise for Baja Blast, orange for Doritos Locos Tacos or mild sauce, yellow for nacho cheese, purple for the logo, and black because they’re open late!

[tikkety-tok]

Find someone that makes you feel like the main character.

[ewaneneollav]

[wolchefant]

this is what it feels like to be insane