Frozen Times

Generally Known as Frozen Sunset around the internet and Xbox Live

[frozensunset]

BABY! HE'S FINALLY HERE! My black box Foo Dou that I ordered in January of 2020! His joints are so good! Look at him sittin! Lookit the beautiful white jade color on that resin!!!

[unbefreakinlivable]

Øer

[miniature-stigmata]

this one’s for all the fat girls who’ve cried in dressing rooms 💗

[miniature-stigmata]

when i was about thirteen or so, my mother took me to sears to buy me pants. i went into the youth section and picked out jeans and dickies.

the act of trying to fit my fat, squishy body into something that would not go past my knees was embarrassing. but it’s doubled when i realized i was wearing the biggest size in that section, what was supposed to be my section. the look my mother gave me when i told her that nothing fit is seared into my memory.

so i cried. i cried because this meant i had to shop at the womens section. for some completely asinine reason, in my teens, i decided that if i ever shopped in the fat lady’s section, it meant that i had failed. at what? i still don’t really know. passing by the abundance of ugly, drab, boring clothes that the plus size section provided felt like i was in a funhouse, like this can’t be my reality.

but the pants fit there. i took no pleasure from this, and i cried again.

so that’s why i made this post. because the experiences that fat and chubby kids go through in dressing rooms is unique and so rarely talked about. i’m in a much better place now and have definitely embraced my fat thighs and hanging double belly, but i know a lot of us who grew up to be fat adults still have some pain we have to address and work through.

so again, this is for all the fat kids who have cried in dressing rooms. however your particular story went, i hope you can look back on it and start to heal.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[headspace-hotel]

Good Qualities for Female Characters (trust me)

buff

dumb as rocks. not gullible or naive or airheaded like is usually the case with dumb female characters just give me ladies whose decision making is abysmal and whose ideas are as bad as they are awesome

scars that aren’t sexy or hideous or that have some dark backstory they’re just there

not that conventionally attractive and doesn’t actually do anything to her appearance but thinks she’s hot as fuck and is actually pretty correct

curses like a sailor

filled with rage

eats everything. has the metabolism of 12 horses

very talented or skilled but not insecure about talents in fact probably a little TOO confident about them

just a little shit

kind of unhinged mad scientist or wizard

BIG. tall. Large

always unkempt and covered in grime and dirt. has not washed socks in months. just a greasy piece of garbage

always loud and taking up space. manspreads. snores. props feet up on table to lean back in chair and then falls backward and takes the tablecloth and everything on it with her, screaming

chaos incarnate. causes problems on purpose and not in a cute way just thinks explosions and murder are fun

impractically large weapon

flirtatious but mostly flirts with people by punching them

covered in sickass tattoos

buff

an expert in something that’s not particularly useful

grey hair, still sexy

loves spiders and creepy crawly things more than anything

alcohol tolerance of a mule but still gets absolutely plastered and gets into bar fights

just really, really, really weird

pretty and spends time on her appearance but sometimes gets covered head to toe in blood and is fairly chill about it

snarls and growls at things

scientist that gets really excited over slime molds or something like that

did I mention buff

middle aged, has seen it all, sick of your shit

fat and chubby and not for tiddies reasons

enjoys affectionate brawling (especially with other female characters who also enjoy affectionate brawling)

motorcycle

will fight everything including god

lowkey stumbled out of the woods not knowing how to wipe her ass. will bite you if you look at her funny

edgy but not attractive. no sexy brooding she just sulks over the city looking like shit

[frozensunset]

So many of these actually describe me perfectly. Maybe that's why my exes keep telling me that they feel intimidated by me...

Whatever! XD

[yehudah]

going on testosterone is so exciting im so glad to finally go through my himboification

[yehudah]

[witchbabywigg]

my special friend calls it his PP Juice and I started calling it PP Up from Pokemon and so now it’s the PP Up Juice.

[zeetbl33p]

[slothful-rabbit]

Honestly the minute I saw the word himboification I knew this post was gonna be good and I was not dissapointed. This is so fucking wonderful and I love the sheer universal experience of exasperation, concern, and just so fucking done with your shit from your doctors and nurses.

[bjizzlesmalls]

There is no greater indicator of being a Man than every woman around you being done with your shit

[frozensunset]

Reblogging for wholesomeness and the last comment XD

[frozensunset]

Button size ref to help DoA

[star-anise]

I have sympathy for “not like the other girls because the other girls told me so constantly from K to 12 so yeah my relationship with femininity and girls or women who aren’t visibly ostracized like me is naturally a bit rocky” girls.

It took me until my late 20s to convince my hindbrain that the average group of women weren’t actually all waiting to peck me to pieces so I could actually dare to be friendly and the tiniest bit outgoing.

Sisterhood is great but I’d like to be able to acknowledge that the reason my hackles went up whenever I met a girl/woman who looked and talked like the people who abused me was way more about my traumatic experiences than my lack of feminism.

[findingfeather]

Fucking this.

[rubynye]

But isn’t it interesting that everyone who sees herself in this is like some other girls, those of us who were bullied and harmed by other girls?

WhatI mean by saying this is that I was one of the girls hurt and bullied and ostracised by other girls, especially girls who were suceeding at normative femininity, or at least looked like it. For instance I’ve been fat all my life, and too often the Only Black Kid in my class/grade/whatever. I definitely wasn’t nor did I ever look like a queen bee. But then I tried to reach out to other ostracised girls and often as not was rebuffed just on the basis of being a girl. Which makes a kind of sense, I guess, but I reserve the right to think it was a little sad.

[star-anise]

Oh yeah, that’s a very real thing. I tried to do my Master’s thesis on the psychological effects of bullying but when I got a look at the statistics I basically had a wee little breakdown and had to change my degree.

Because the statistics basically say: In a given year, about 5-10% of children are bullied. Very specifically: Your average classroom of 30 kids will, with stunning regularity, choose about 1-3 children and ostracize them. When we get students to rank-order the popularity of their classmates, that is a very effective way to predict who the bottom tier will be, the 1-3 kids with 0 friends. (In lower grades of elementary it’s rare for those 1-3 kids to band together, and if they do, it actually sinks their social status with everyone else even deeper) Bullying interventions that work on identifying that bottom tier of kids and work on getting them as many as one or two friends in the rest of the class, their mental health outcomes improve significantly.

So basically, in elementary school, a bullied kid is always “not like the other kids” because the statistical experience of being bullied is being trapped every day for a year in a room full of kids who almost uniformly hate you. In effect, bullied elementary kids have been traditionally kept in parallel prison cells, unable to see each other’s suffering.

It is sad, MASSIVELY sad, that a lot of bullying victims come out of their experiences hostile and unready to trust anyone else. It’s also massively sad that a lot of them come up with dysfunctional and, yes, oppressive theories to explain what happened, like, “The other girls hate me because other girls are shallow bitches.” 

That especially happens to white kids–kids from minority groups are often more resilient to bullying (though other life forces might tank their mental health) because their parents were more likely to sit them down at a very early age and say, “Look, sometimes people are going to hate you and treat you horribly. They’re wrong, you don’t deserve it, and don’t take it personally.” Meanwhile white parents are more likely (although not the only ones) to go, “Well what did you Do Specifically to Make them bully you? 🙃 This is a totally individual problem independent of any larger social forces and also quite likely your fault.” And if all the adults are saying that, a kid is generally forced to conclude that it IS them, personally, and/or, find something or someone else to blame for what’s happening, and most of the available theories about Why People Suck are… really shitty to the people they’re describing.

IT’S FUCKED UP. It’s a regular ongoing tragedy. Which is rather more preventable than we like to think, if there was the time/money/social willpower to prevent it.  🙃 But “anti-bullying campaign” tends to mean “bring in a guest speaker once a year” not “permanently halve class sizes”.

[maddelineusher-deactivated20240]

#this makes so much sense#i feel like religion is also a factor#i was one of the few non mormon kids growing up in a predominantly religious community#and that was absolutely a factor in why i was often targeted ostracized and excluded#not to mention i was a quiet only child kid#(possibly neurodivergent but i never had an official diagnosis so cannot confirm)#i think that made me easy both to target and to cull out#and i think we also need to discuss this in regards to not necessarily bullying#but kids forming cliques and barely tolerating you but never really considering you part of the group#and excluding you whenever they can#i really cannot begin to describe how painful and humiliating it is as a kid#to learn that the kids you thought were your close friends#only see you as barely more than a present nuisance#and yeah it really does fuck you up#i tend to be very stringent when it comes to who i consider a friend#and with the few friends i have#with all but maybe one or two#i am constantly paranoid that they don’t actually see me as their friend#and just barely tolerate my existence

adding my tags because they were an afterthought and I’m honestly sitting here like “shit there’s a statistical explanation for why I’m Like This and why I constantly think everyone hates me all the time”

[star-anise]

For the record, my research definition of bullying included relational aggression, which is “behavior that intentionally harms another person’s self-esteem, friendships, or social status.”

Ostracism is an extreme result of relational aggression in that it denies the person any relationships at all. On the other hand, there are a ton of things people can do inside relationships that are still aggressive. In a way, although complete ostracism fucks kids up, it at least offers the chilly protection of distance. Friends are close enough to make excellent targets.

Emotional abuse is still abuse.

[frozensunset]

Yeah really wish my parents had sat me down at a young age and explained that some people will just hate you and it isn't your fault. They did the classic white parent duck and dive of, "Just ignore it." And, "Well try to fit in more then."

There's a stunning thing I still remember is from when I was in 5th grade. I'd been bullied solidly to that point (for being brighter than average, and also chubbier than average, and not as well off) and had already developed a pretty cold, hard shell, because I knew if the other kids felt intimidated they'd leave me be. I was at a solo conference (everyone had them, Parent/Teacher conference kinda deal) with my mother and my 5th grade teacher. The teacher said she noticed that the other kids were teasing me, and I begrudgingly agreed, and my mother went, "What? I didn't know!"

And in that moment I learned about adults not caring/not listening, because I had told her. I had been telling her since like, 1st grade. That moment is burned into my mind.

I also learned that preferring to be alone is often a result of bullying. It's a way your brain tries to flip the trauma to protect you. Instead of being upset at being alone, your brain tells you, "It's okay, we like this." And that saddens me deeply, too.

As an adult I cope better now, of course, because I understand the things that I went through. I still struggle with the idea of, everyone hates/judges you/you're not good enough, but it's daily progress.

[casanova-lives]

Half of being trans is being hypervigilant against transphobes. Like, I spent 15 minutes scrolling down on a blog that I would be super interested in just to make sure that it wasn’t going to start reblogging stuff from my favorite transmisogynists. Turns out that my hypervigilance was right again.

[casanova-lives]

Things to look for:

References to “vagina envy.” This is what initially got me scrolling. This alone isn’t a sure indicator.

Andrea Dworkin quotes without criticism

Reblogging from troll accounts like confirmed-/-terf

Most cis wlw on Tumblr are, in fact, supportive of trans people. Most cis wlw who mention “hating men” are not using this as an attack on trans women. However, because of my experience with the small, insular, and vitriolic trans-exclusionary feminists on Tumblr, I have learned to be hypervigilant and it Really Fucking Sucks and Really Fucking Hurts when I am right.

[casanova-lives]

I am a lesbian. This kind of blog would have been My Shit. But I’ve been taught to distrust the very women I connect with the most. I’ve been taught to feel afraid in my own home.

[casanova-lives]

Being a transgender lesbian is constantly walking on eggshells to not prove them right. And their standards are ever changing so it’s inevitable that you’ll prove them right. Righteous anger will be taken as “male propensity towards violence,” which closely mirrors the way men see outspoken women as “shrill.” If we do anything to fight back outside of debate within their terms, we are immediately casted as “violent men.” They will not be satisfied until we shut up, lie down, and die.

[casanova-lives]

Cis wlw can and should reblog this. Help me remember my allies.

[frozensunset]

My blog may never really cover much save for when I sew, but I am always here as a cis ally. Trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, anything. People should feel comfortable in their own skin, and no one should ever be judged or categorized for strongly voicing their opinion, or for not fitting what people think they should be.

[everythingbagels]

I just read this super sad post about this girl who’s asexual and married and everyone is basically telling her that she doesn’t deserve her husband/she’s just a prude/she should just do it anyway. So I want to tell you all right now that if people tell you this, or if they tell you you’ll never have a relationship, it is BULLSHIT. My husband is asexual and I’m not. He’s sex repulsed, we don’t have sex, we never have. And it doesn’t matter to me. You know what does? He does. His mental health and wellbeing matter to me. Because he is my best friend and he’s one of the smartest, kindest, funniest people I’ve ever met. And he’s had people tel him that he’s broken and it makes me SO ANGRY because they are WRONG. Being different doesnt mean you’re broken. If you don’t like sex/don’t want it/etc. Do not let anyone tell you that you’re inferior because you’re not. Do not let anyone convice you that you’ll never have a relationship because they’re wrong(if you want one). You are not broken, and it will be okay.

[onyxjuniper]

This made me feel really good. Remember this, for all my ace spectrum friends out there

[auditorycheesecakes]

#it’s really reassuring to hear from the partner #the one who’s not ace #but is totally cool with having no sex #loves her husband anyway #is in a stable and happy relationship #it’s such a relief when you discover that asexuality is a thing #that you’re okay #but then you start to wonder if it means your only chance at not ending up alone is finding someone else who’s also ace #but no #turns out it’s not #that’s really good to hear #so #thanks #so ace #so space

I hope you don’t mind me reblogging your tags but these are my feelings EXACTLY

I’m always a little nervous that I’m not “good enough” for a “real relationship” because sex isn’t on the table. So yeah, these stories are reassuring

[intj-confessions]

The amount of pressure from society to have sex is incredible. We’re told it’s linked to relationship health and if you’re not willing to do every damn thing you’re labeled a prude. It’s incredibly disheartening, especially considering how one’s libido can change over the years even if you’re not ace. Nice to see a supportive piece from a partner.

OK, kids, buckle up it’s story time.

When I got married, I hadn’t had sex yet.  Waiting until marriage was important to me, so that’s what I did.  My wedding night was the first time I had sex.

It sucked.

I figured, ok, this is new for both of us, it’s probably going to take some practice.

A year later?  It still sucked  We tried a lot of different stuff.  A lot  of different stuff.  It sucked so bad, we even bought a copy of “Sex for Dummies”.

(it didn’t help)

I started working late so I didn’t go to bed at the same time as my husband.  Every time he would travel for work, I’d be grateful that I didn’t have to go through the awkwardness of avoiding his advances when I went to bed.

He didn’t think it was healthy for a newlywed couple to have sex less than once a week.  So we scheduled it.  Repeat, scheduled intimacy.  I thought I was putting on a brave face and doing what I needed to do to maintain a good relationship.

Because I had no idea that asexuality was a thing.

I talked to my husband, told him I didn’t like sex.  He didn’t understand.  I lost track of how many times I said: “It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you.  I don’t want to have sex with anyone.”

So it was established, Amber doesn’t like sex.

But we still did it.  Because I wanted my husband to be happy.  Sometimes halfway through, I’d start crying.

And he’d always be supportive, and apologize.

After he finished.

So when I found out about asexuality, and told him how I felt, he suggested I go to a doctor.  Because obviously there was something wrong with me.

So I went to a doctor.

(surprise, surprise, I’m perfectly healthy)

Then I told my mom.  When she suggested meds to improve my sex drive, I broke down in tears.  I told her there was nothing wrong with me.  And my mom has been 100% supportive of my orientation ever since.  When people ask if I’m a lesbian, she teaches them about asexuality.  

But anyway back to my journey of self-discovery

So I tell my husband, I’m asexual, I don’t want to have sex.  You are not asexual, you do want to have sex.  One of us is going to be miserable in this relationship, and I’m tired of it being me.  I love you too much to make you miserable for the rest of your life, but I love myself too much to be miserable for the rest of my life.  We might have to face the fact that we’re not right for each other.

So his immediate response is “no, I can change, I’ll do anything, divorce is not an option, etc”

But I can’t exactly ask him to stop wanting to have sex.  Because that’s not how allosexual people work.  And he can’t seduce me into wanting to have sex, because that’s not how asexual people work.

Anyway.  He cries, I cry, we decide on marriage counseling to help our comunication.

Because we’d been married for almost 6 years by this point, and had been together for 3 years before that, and we still can’t really talk about what we want (or don’t want) in regards to sex.

So we go to counselling for 6 weeks.  The first 3 sessions individually, and the last 3 together.  During the together sessions, the therapist would prompt us with a question, and we’d talk to each other, being completely honest about things.

During (what turned out to be) our last session, I’d finally had enough.  I’d had enough of being embarrassed about what anyone else would think.  Enough of the gender roles I was being forced into.  Enough of paying someone to watch me talk to my husband.  Enough of pretending to salvage a relationship that I had been increasingly avoiding over the past 2 years, and I said:

“Josh, I love you.  We have communication problems, but we’ve been together almost ten years and I’m willing to work through those if you think we can make it work.  But I am never having sex with you again.”

(At this point, the therapist who’d been trying to get us to communicate put down her notebook and said, ok I think we’re done.)

Then and only then, did he agree to file for divorce.

—————–

I say all that to say this:

Don’t you dare fucking tell me that asexual representation doesn’t matter.  I would have six years of my life back if I had known.

And if you’re in a relationship, talk to each other oh my God.  About everything.  What dream you had last night.  That song from scout camp that randomly gets stuck in your head.  The reason you don’t like sweet potato.  That embarrassing thing you did in third grade that still makes you mad when you think about it.  If you and your partner can share these tiny, intimate details, talking about sex is no big deal.  And it takes practice, so practice.

————–

On a happy note, now, 3 years after the divorce, I am in a happy, stable relationship with another ace.  And if you happen to ask my mom how I’m doing, she’ll tell you “I’ve never seen my baby girl happier.”

It gets better.  But it’s up to you to make it that way.

[handsofmydas]

@theonetheonlyjordanelizabeth please read this ❤️ I may be sex repulsed but I know that I love you and thats what matters ✨

[pansexualfaithlehane]

I know this is already really long and really informative, but I also wanted to add a partner’s perspective. I too, have an ace fiancee. I knew about it before our relationship. I didn’t know it was a thing until I met her, and that was huge to me because I learned something new and also came to understand an old friend a little better.  I, on the other hand, am not ace. I am at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I am pansexual, and she has a hard time I think coming to terms with the fact that I don’t want to make her have sex. Like, ‘Really?’ you might ask me. Like really is my only reply. I have loved her for a long time now, and being we met over Tumblr and we knew one another before the relationship, sex isn’t a big deal in our relationship. and I can think of at least ten of my friends who would feel the same way right now. 

ASEXUALITY IS A REAL THING, LOVING, SWEET ACE RELATIONSHIPS ARE REAL! Just because your partner wants sex doesn’t make you broken. Just because you don’t want sex doesn’t mean you should have to force yourself to do so. 

Just be honest with one another, love one another. If a relationship can’t survive a healthy, honest conversation, then it wasn’t a very strong relationship to begin with.  TL;DR People who can’t see past sex as a ‘core’ in a relationship with someone ace/sex repulsed is an asshole.

[frozensunset]

DoA reference

[frozensunset]

Flick and Villager.

I realized too late that I turned Flick into the anime butterfly meme XD

Inked sketch, line art, followed by several in process WIPS, lol. I had to ink it because I got way to sloppy with my pencil :/

Check me out on Instagram if you want to see more of my sketches!

*@samgottschalk

[disc80s]

im 🥺🥺

[frozensunset]

This cat is definitely an Animal Crossing villager in real life. Lookit that smirk

[catchymemes]

[baptizm-deactivated20200524]

If we come outside it’s to murder these bastards in particular, I hope they know that.

[frozensunset]

I'm honestly in the "eat the rich" corner with all this stuff right now.

Bunch of sociopaths.

[frozensunset]

Not my meme, but definitely my life right now...we have at least one confirmed case at work already.

[frozensunset]

Sketch I did on my early morning lunch (3:40am, lol)at work. Idea I had rolling around all shift of what to dress my Muse of Bone in. I settled on a pastoral theme, heavy with flowers and white and little embroidered skeletons very much inspired by the juxtaposition of death and the beauty/pastoral setting of Midsommar.

[frozensunset]

Done painting for now. Waiting for her to dry completely before I seal her again, and then I will add some gloss to her lips and fingertips.