sad

a 19 year old sharing her art

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

i’m so lonely, i don’t want to be here anymore.

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

you moved on by finding someone new, i moved on by finding myself... we are not the same.

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

i don’t hate you, i don’t think i can ever hate you. you hurt me, changed me, and then left, but at some point you were my person. i can’t hate you

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

follow my instagram 🤍 @/heartsofbroken

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

some days i feel okay, other days i feel everything at once; every goodbye, every i love you, and every ounce of pain that’s ever passed through me

[poemswords]

“I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away.”

— Vincent van Gogh, Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (via books-n-quotes)

[poemswords]

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

— Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women (via books-n-quotes)

[understands]

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

something about the holidays just always hurts different

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

i am so alone and yet surrounded by so many people that claim they love me

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

“if the ocean can calm itself, so can you. you are both saltwater mixed with air”

i call fucking bullshit, if there’s one thing the ocean and i have in common, it’s that we’re destructive. if storms could be calmed, why has there consistently been natural disasters? the ocean only calms itself after the storm... when all the damage is done & it’ll still have to wake up to it tomorrow.

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

people come and go, they say

but they never tell you how much it hurts

the sleepless nights,

the everlasting anxiety holding you prisoner

to your own bed

where discomfort is the only form of comfort there is

when silence scratches at your throat

and the uneven breathing

during the long, long nights

oh, the long nights

the thoughts and the memories

the ‘missing you’s’

my insides ache til i can’t remember

i’m grieving somebody that’s still alive

- r.amo.

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

constantly feeling inadequate and not enough is so soul crushing and dehumanizing. i’m tired of hurting

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

every pound lost on the scale is weighed down by the comments you thought my body needed

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

if anyone is listening, i don’t want to be here anymore

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

i’m too young to be this sad

[fruitsofapoisonoustree]

i’m so tired of explaining myself constantly, i’m so tired of feeling the need to justify everything i say and everything i do and everything i feel. god forbid i feel anxious on my own terms, God forbid i feel like shit because of the circumstances i put myself in. God forbid i feel any type of negative way and turn to you for comfort only to be questioned and made to feel even worse for feeling the way i do. i’m fucking tired of fighting a million battles at once and then still feeling empty and lonely at the end of the day. i’m fucking tired of putting myself third, fourth, fifth to everything else in my life and getting shit in return to show for it. i’m so fucking tired of being tired. i’m tired of hurting. i’m tired of the darkness. i’m tired of feeling stuck while everyone else is moving forward. i’m so tired of hating myself and hating my body and hating my mental illnesses. i’m tired of my anxiety holding me shackled at my ankles. i’m tired of not feeling like myself and everyone on the outside expecting me to remain static. i’m tired of not feeling loved; tired of the pain and the tears. mostly, i’m tired of feeling tired