is this humor, or is this justice?

[crocophile-deactivated20190326]

edgar allen poe’s famous short story, ‘bird tells me to fuck off in my own home’

[sonypraystation]

iphone texting

girl: come get this pussy daddy me: On My Way! baby grill

[mindfulwrath]

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

[fallingtowers]

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

[twofingerswhiskey]

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

[antiblackness-archive]

[antiblackness-archive]

[lotrlocked]

Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom

[roy-kent]

this cold open is a masterpiece

[hustlerose]

im going to the forest does anybody want anything? 

[not4u2knowbut4u2weepandwonder]

pined cone

[butchbuckys]

i havent seen some of these in any of the vine compilations ive watched so uhhh. here’s my own. 

[cajetaconmiel]

THIS COMPILATION IS ART

[darcylindbergh]

lads had a dream last night that i was at the elton john concert and halfway through crocodile rock he switched to a prince medley and real live flesh and blood prince walked out on stage, and into the stunned, hushed silence i said quietly, “i thought you were dead” and he looked straight at me through the crowds of a million people, put his mouth against the mic, and said “do i look like the kind of man who dies” absolute legend 

[anest4etized-deactivated2025121]

This wasn’t a dream this was a premonition

[kurapiki]

In this world it’s yeet or be yeeted

[firebirdscratches]

yeeten?

[thisiswhymomworries]

YOOT

[warmlantern-deactivated20190206]

The only advice I have for anyone is make peace with your tits 

[donkeydickjess]

Titty sweat and all?

[warmlantern-deactivated20190206]

Titty sweat and all

[30minutememes]

[and-down-we-go]

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,       I am afraid

[malkiewicz]

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

[istudypirates]

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

[antiuwuaction-deactivated201804]

It’s called connotations.

[leggyboyjohnson]

Try this one on for size:

“Forgive me, Father, I have sinned”

“Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty”

[helaas--pindakaas]

great news! Language is now banned

[yeehawlw]

HE JUST FCKING SCREAMS I-

[mielparaoshun]

Lmaoooo

[sushinfood]

[literaryglamour]

[dadhopper-deactivated20171203]

She’s so broke

[charlixcxfan420]

im not even gonna ask who bc i already know its me

[chicksallovermedeleted-deactiva]

people that own chickens are trustworthy

[blextrophy]

chickens own themselves

[chicksallovermedeleted-deactiva]

you’re completely right and i’m a fool

[sjavftusifuj]

GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT