As he continued tapping against the frame of the bed nervously, he started to become more and more annoyed at the situation and slightly at Arielle. Brandon regretted allowing her to come inside because he was sick of hearing lectures from everyone. He knew exactly what she was going to say, he had heard it too many times after waking up from his coma. Before the coma, Brandon never had anyone in his life that would try and tell him what to do, his parents had never been that way. In the hospital, he met a lot of people that were concerned about him and he could not catch a break. No matter what he did or said, someone always had a problem with it and much to his dismay, none of them refrained from saying something about it.
Despite what everyone thought, Brandon actually did find comfort in the constant nagging and concern from his fellow peers. It did not hit him until he was in high school that he almost wished his parents would tell him "no" sometimes. Before this, He had never even considered that his parents' elegance meant that they did not care about him, or what happened to him. He began to contemplate the idea after he got into an argument with one of his friends. Brandon was teasing him because his parents would never let him do anything and the guy responded with, "Well at least my parents actually give a shit if I jump off a cliff or not." Brandon laughed it off but the comment was permanently embedded in his brain. Most people were jealous of how Brandon could do anything without his parents minding, but now that possibly meant that they did not care about him. Brandon secretly wanted someone to care enough to tell him "no."
The way that Arielle cared enough to tell him to slow down on his partying was comforting in a way, but Brandon also did not think it was her place to say anything. They were not dating, he did not even know what they were--would he classify her as a friend? Brandon could not even stand his best friend, Caden, telling him what to do, so he did not want to listen to Arielle, whatever she was to him. Even though he wanted to just ignore her, to just say "fuck it" and do whatever he wanted, her opinion still mattered to him. Arielle had a hold of his heart and his actions, and he did not like the feeling at all. Brandon still wanted to be free.
Brandon tried to relax and focus on the sound of his heel tapping against the bed frame as he still focused on the small crack in the wall while Arielle sat next to him. The tension in the room rested on his shoulders and he was not going to be the one to break the silence, but truthfully, he did not really know what to say. His mind was going crazy--between being angry at Arielle and almost wanting to thank her--and his heart was going back and forth between a variety of emotions. Their awkward relationship standing made the matters even worse. While sitting next to her, he felt the nervous butterflies in his stomach that he never felt with any other woman and all of his anger slowly began to slip away.
Sadly, Brandon could not have disagreed more with every word that Arielle said. Brandon considered Arielle as one of those people that thought too much about the deeper meaning and consequences of drinking alcohol. As she continued talking, it reminded Brandon of the time when a recovering drug addict came and gave a speech at his high school. He remembered sitting in the back of the auditorium with his group of friends and pretty much laughing at everything the man had to say. Then he said "I remember when I was in high school and someone came to talk to me about this, I just rolled my eyes and said 'Well, all I do is drink and smoke, so whatever,' and I bet that's what most of you are thinking right now. Just remember that I have never met one addict that didn't start out just drinking and smoking, including me." It was ironic because Brandon was thinking exactly that, but he let it roll off his shoulders and went out partying that night--smoking weed and drinking beers, because that was all he did.
Even though there was so much Brandon wanted to say about how he could have fun without the alcohol, he bit his tongue. Brandon tried his best to see from Arielle's point of view. Brandon knew that she was just concerned for him. He waited a few seconds to reply, contemplating on what to say and on whether he even wanted her to stay, but then he broke the silence, "No, st-stay. I want you to stay, alright?" He reached his hand out and placed in on top of hers, letting her know that it was okay and that he was not angry with her, as much as he wanted to be.
"I don't n-need anything, I feel fine and I took some Advil about an hour ago," Brandon added as he attempted to move on with the conversation. He decided to just take in everything that she said, rather than starting an argument. He did not want to fight with her and he knew that she had enough on her plate already. Their relationship was supposed to be an escape from her boyfriend, Micah, and he wanted it to stay that way. Sometimes he felt like he made things even worse and more complicated for Arielle. It hurt him because he cared a lot more for her than he would ever want to admit.
tangentwithtanner
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