You may find that you recognize this week's featured Fighter. Is it due his outstanding swagger? His rugged good looks? Maybe it's his goofy yet lovable nature? Or maybe it's because our man Brooks Forester was one of the top three guys on the popular ABC television series, The Bachelorette. Regardless of how you may or may not know Brooks, just know he is a cool dude. And when he's not on prime time TV, he is a marketing specialist, world traveler, and part-time model. But one thing many may not know about Brooks (until now) is that he is a loyal Fighter and has been a supporter of Fight the New Drug for years! So when we approached Brooks about helping to spread the word about Fight the New Drug and helping us push forward this awesome cause, he was more than stoked to jump on board. After talking to him about ways he could help the movement, we found he had some good stuff to say on our cause. So, between his lavish trips to Hollywood and exotic trips to Hawaiian resorts, we sat down with Brooks for this week's Fighter Spotlight.
FTND: Thanks for making time for us Brooks, we appreciate it. Talk to us about your connection with Fight the New Drug. Why is this a cause that you choose to support?
Brooks: It's my pleasure, thanks for having me!I wanted to help promote Fight the New Drug because it is no secret that pornography is everywhere, in many varying forms, readily available and super easy to find. What is not so well known is the damaging effect pornography can have on our minds, especially the minds of teens who are still developing and learning about their sexuality. So I just really like that this movement not only educates but also gives teens who may be addicted to pornography options if they don't know where or to whom they can turn for help. A cause like that is worth spreading. I hope that FTND becomes as prevalent and accessible as is pornography.
FTND: Have you had any particular experiences with porn in your life that made you want to stay from it?
Brooks: Looking back on my first exposure to pornography, I just have to laugh. I mean, It's laughable now but it could have been a real turning point for me as a 12 year old.
So, as a 12 year old, my thing was building tree forts. We had tons of access to free lumber where I grew up and I had all summer to build stuff. If there was a tree, I wanted to build a fort on it. Our backyard had three separate tree forts at one point in time "laughs*. One in particular was my pride and joy; it had carpet, electricity, and even old couches. It was my ultimate 12-year-old bachelor pad *laughs*. Well one day I climbed up to my fort and found a curious pile of magazines stuffed under the carpet. And as soon as my eyes meet the cover, I knew what it was. My mom had told us about "smut magazines" before and told us to avoid them like drugs. I sat there debating on what to do. I remember totally weighing out my options, going back and forth on what I should do.
On one side, I thought,"It's like drugs, drugs are dangerous."
Then the other side retorted,"Ya but come on, man, how bad can it really be, plus...(the wrong choice always seems to have a plus to throw in), this might be the only chance we get and aren't you curious about what a naked women looks like?!" What a conundrum my 12-year-old self was in .
So, unable to decide, I chose to make a compromise that gave in to both sides.
"Okay self, here is the deal," I said,"we will burn the magazines so we aren't tempted again...but before doing so we will look at one page."
The deal was struck. I reached for the magazine and opened it. There before me in vivid color was the image of a fully nude women. I wanted to close the magazine, my mind was flying a mile a minute, but my body seemed unable to respond at all. So there I sat, looking at this image, fighting for control over my arms. Finally I began to pull out of the intense force field zone that wouldn't let me put it down and I managed to close the magazine.
I remember feeling like I was a little in shock. I sat there confused at what happened. I liked and hated it all at the same time. Then, overcome with guilt for doing something I felt was wrong, I quickly got up to remove the possibility of a second offense. I grabbed the magazines and began to burn them one by one. As they burnt, I remember feeling this sense of justice.
One by one they went up in flames, until I reached the last one. This is where I can't help but really laugh because despite the high this sense of justice gave me, my 12-year-old mind couldn't part with the idea that it may never have a chance to see this stuff again. I remember thinking that maybe I was just experiencing first time jitters and that I would later regret burning them all.
So again, again I made a compromise. I would bury the last magazine to reduce the temptation, but should I regret my decision, I would know exactly where to find it. So I found an old shoe box, placed the magazine in the box, picked a spot in the field behind my house, and buried it for a possible future retrieval *laughs*. I walked away so proud of myself.
Well...a few days later, with that image still stuck in mind so vivdly, I decided I needed a second look. However, what I didn't know was that my mom had had the back yard leveled with a tractor the day before so my marked spot was gone. I spent some serious time retracing my steps and dug holes but couldn't find anything *laughs*So it was officially over. The magazine was out of my life.
Looking back on that experience, I am grateful that I was never able to find the buried magazine. What good timing my mother had. Who knows what could have happened if I had found that magazine again? I might have gained an addiction to a substance that is in reality, as my mother put, "as dangerous as a drug." What's crazy is that even to this day I can remember the image in that magazine. That stuff is pretty traumatic on a young mind.
FTND: That's a hilarious story, man. And you're right, luckily we can all laugh about it and see it as just kind of a funny childhood memory. Fortunately, it didn't have any long lasting effects on you; you chose to get rid of all the magazines and it wasn't a super huge deal. Some kids are lucky like you, most aren't. And it's also important to note that in today's world, the majority of kids' first exposure to porn is happening online and with much, much hardcore stuff than what used to be found in magazines. And unlike you, kids can't just burn or bury their family computer-
Brooks: Well, I mean they could try but I don't think that would go over very well with their parents *laughs*
FTND: *Laughs* For sure. That's probably not a good option for most kids. But seriously, this issue of online porn is such a huge problem. What do you think of how the technology age has completely amplified the "pornification" in society?
Brooks: Oh, for sure, there is no question it has. Sex sells. It appeals to one of our most intense desires. Popular media not only knows this, they are masters at it. It's tough to avoid and unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon. And it's not only in our pop culture, it's commonplace in almost every culture worldwide.
FTND: Okay, let's shift gears a little bit and talk about relationships. You went on The Bachelorette because you wanted to find love and be in a relationship. And you've obviously dated before and after the show as well. Regardless of what your relationship status is right now, (I'm sure a lot of girls reading this blog are dying to know), what are your views on the negative effects that porn has in a relationship?
Brooks: Great question. And yes, I am still single *laughs*
In my opinion, a big - not the only, but a big - catalyst for the presence of pornography in relationships is an inability to be honest with oneself. For example, just because you are in a loving relationship, doesn't mean that all other people become unattractive to you forever. You are still a human being and your sex drive is still pumping on all cylinders. But you have to have an honest dialogue with yourself and think,"Yeah, that's desirable but indulging in it will destroy everything I truly love." Continue to remind yourself of all the reasons you fell in love with the person you are with. A big lesson I have learned in life is that relationships are the most important thing in the world. In relationships, we build a love that lasts. It is important for kids to know that sex is not a bad thing at all. It is the strongest expression of love you could give your significant other. But porn is a counterfeit of that and has none of the positives that a healthy relationship does.
FTND: So true. Okay, last but not least, the big question, Brooks: why are you a Fighter?
Brooks: I am a Fighter because love will always win and I want to win in the game of love.
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Brooks is an awesome example of what it means to be a Fighter and we loved talking with him. If you want to join the movement like Brooks, you can start by getting a 'Porn Kills Love' tee and repping the cause everywhere!
PORN KILLS LOVE TEE: http://ftnd.org/1u4gh3o
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