自信がない

private multimuse rp. loser guy central. mostly made for one person. don't worry about it.

[fuankyara]

Knowing Camille, he probably just didn’t trust Mathis to do anything properly on his own. That’s the only reason he would tag along. And it seems he may have been right, if the two of them still got kidnapped, but he’s not going to think about that. It does make Mathis a bit sad, though. If this world was supposed to be a paradise, Camille would have been a nicer, softer person who accepted Mathis and his friends and loved ones. Apparently that’s too unrealistic even for a delusion.

“It… sounds to me from what you said, that I already talked to her for the last time once before,” Mathis murmurs. “Of course I’ll choose you… your love is real.” He smiles sadly. “But it’s a bit painful to know that the person who would have been my mother is a kind person who also would have cared for me. That being said, it’s better to live in reality…”

It sounds like the real world is in a huge amount of danger. The idea of wiping out beastfolk entirely is terrifying. Mathis knows how much trouble they’ve caused, but is that really the way? “You won’t keep secrets… then… I have a childish question.” Mathis blinks up at him. “Do you prefer me this way? Or as the person you know?” He’s curious. It sounds like he’s somehow even more anxiety-ridden than he is here, and that’s saying something. “If I remember all of this when we leave, then I can make adjustments. Since these are some memories I also have, they may impact my personality too… I’m not sure how that works.” Apologetically, he rubs Adolphe’s palm with one thumb.

[tongzu]

He wishes he could do more for that sadness. Adolphe nods, unable to really offer anything like a false promise that everything will be okay. He can't guarantee that, but he can stick with his partner through all the shitty feelings, like he said he would.

"Ah?" That's an interesting question. "Haven't actually thought about that... let's see." Adolphe peers down at Mathis, completely unable to parse out the differences since he's blinded by a disease called in love with Mathis Claude no matter what. "Well, first, calling it adjustments makes you sound like you're trying to add more cream and sugar to my coffee," he says, chuckling softly. He brings their intertwined hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

"Preferences... I don't think so. I like you when you're timid and come to hide in my arms. But I also like this version of you that's confident and stands up for himself. You once told me that you like it when I compliment myself... so maybe it's similar to that." Adolphe tilts his head, fondly gazing down at Mathis as he simply merges the two versions of the person he loves in his head. "That... probably doesn't help you. I guess, in the end, my preference is..." He hums, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "Whoever you are when you wake up, I just... love you, Mathis."

[fuankyara]

“Um… do you like cream and sugar?” Funny how now that he managed to get Adolphe to talk a little bit, he won’t shut up about how much he cares for him. Not that Mathis is going to complain about something like that. “I… it’s strange to think I won’t know how to act…”

Mathis almost laughs. “I’m not confident at all… maybe there’s not as much difference as I thought.” If this is confident in comparison, he’s going to seriously need to fix himself when they return to the real world. Being told so fondly that his tendency to run timidly into Adolphe’s arms is a plus is… embarrassing.

“Well… I believe you.” He can’t say those words in return, that he loves Adolphe, because it would be disingenuous with his lack of memories. “Was my other self this…” He smiles awkwardly. “Um… easy? I’m still… a bit in disbelief with myself that I slept with a stranger without thinking. Even if we technically aren’t strangers.” His ears twitch. “I… no, I suppose I did think about it. Hmm.”

[fuankyara]

Mathis takes a shower that's far too long to be economical, letting the warm water fall over his shoulders as he breathes deeply. Nobody wants to be told that their reality doesn't exist. It seems like that's his lot in life, isn't it? According to Adolphe, his "real" life had also been a sham for the majority of his existence. But rather than feel like he's about to spiral with an existential crisis, Mathis feels peaceful about the revelation here. If this story that has been crafted for him isn't real, then he doesn't have to be forced into a marriage he doesn't want. That's something.

It also means that his mother... Mathis sighs. She was never real to begin with, so he shouldn't be sad about it. In fact, the mother who exists here is probably just a creation of his own brief memories of her. Still, he liked the feeling of sitting in her arms and being encouraged to try his best. Again, that was something he probably created himself.

He can't fully believe the way he spoke to Adolphe. It was confident in a way he doesn't truly feel. Mathis steps out of the bathroom with a towel, nodding with appreciation at the plain clothes. "I see, so you wanted to make us match." Mathis chuckles, deciding to call him out for it outright. "That's all right. Though I think red is better on you than me."

His hair is still a little damp, so he puts it up in a tall ponytail so he doesn't have to worry about it... then immediately takes out the tie and ties it up in a much lower ponytail. "Feels safer," Mathis says airily. He's not sure if Adolphe actually left marks there, because the mirror was too steamy to really look at himself. Given the opportunity, he's sure Adolphe will do it again, though. "I don't want to deal with Fath... Camille right now. It's kind of..." Mathis smiles weakly. "A little depressing to me, to think that even in this fabricated world where Mother is supposedly alive, that he still chooses to be controlling. It makes me think that... maybe he's just inherently a terrible person. Which, um, isn't very pleasant to think about." Nature versus nurture is always a debate, but it seems like even with different nurturing, Camille is the same as ever. "Maybe we leave him asleep... it seems like Mother is the only one he cares about, anyway."

Smiling with self-deprecation, Mathis looks away from Adolphe. "We should go to Yves." He packs up his belongings with a soft exhalation of nerves. "I don't think I'll be returning home after this... if we're separated when trying to deal with a plan to wake up, that's going to waste time. Even though Mother..." He may never be able to speak with her again, if that's the case. "...She's dead, anyway. I don't need to call home." He closes his eyes for a moment. "It's strange... I really have no reason to believe your story, but I just know in my heart that you're telling the truth. But... I'm still sad about Mother. Not enough to delude myself, but... well, this world isn't really what would have happened if she was alive, anyway... it's just a possibility."

[tongzu]

Seems like there was a secret third option, and that was being teased for his not-so-subtle choices of how to dress Mathis. Adolphe decides to cough to try and cover up his own embarrassment, then coughs again when Mathis alters his hairstyle. He did indeed leave a mark there. Thankfully, he switches to a style that covers his neck, so Adolphe doesn't have to stare too intensely this time. No time to linger on how nice Mathis looks when there are greater things at stake right now.

"... You're more determined than he is," Adolphe says. "What you're saying... might be true. But I know he wouldn't have cared if I or Yves went missing. So, he must have come with you when you searched for us..." He glances at the door, deciding to leave that statement lingering. He's not interested in defending Camille, but this is his best attempt at offering a mild comfort to Mathis. That Camille may be terrible, but there should be a part of him that cares about Mathis, even if he shows it in awful and controlling ways.

"This world might collapse when we wake up... so if you're sure, then I'll follow your lead." Adolphe steps up to Mathis, reaching up and caressing his face. "If you change your mind later... I can handle speaking to Yves alone, if you wanted to step out into his garden and talk to her one last time. But I won't try to convince you otherwise... I'll believe in the choices that you want to make for yourself." Reaching down, he takes Mathis' hands into his. "Thank you... for believing in me and choosing me, even if it hurts. I'll make sure you don't regret it... and I won't hold any more secrets from you. Everything that I have... my pain, my trust, and my love... it all belongs to you."

[fuankyara]

Knowing Camille, he probably just didn’t trust Mathis to do anything properly on his own. That’s the only reason he would tag along. And it seems he may have been right, if the two of them still got kidnapped, but he’s not going to think about that. It does make Mathis a bit sad, though. If this world was supposed to be a paradise, Camille would have been a nicer, softer person who accepted Mathis and his friends and loved ones. Apparently that’s too unrealistic even for a delusion.

“It… sounds to me from what you said, that I already talked to her for the last time once before,” Mathis murmurs. “Of course I’ll choose you… your love is real.” He smiles sadly. “But it’s a bit painful to know that the person who would have been my mother is a kind person who also would have cared for me. That being said, it’s better to live in reality…”

It sounds like the real world is in a huge amount of danger. The idea of wiping out beastfolk entirely is terrifying. Mathis knows how much trouble they’ve caused, but is that really the way? “You won’t keep secrets… then… I have a childish question.” Mathis blinks up at him. “Do you prefer me this way? Or as the person you know?” He’s curious. It sounds like he’s somehow even more anxiety-ridden than he is here, and that’s saying something. “If I remember all of this when we leave, then I can make adjustments. Since these are some memories I also have, they may impact my personality too… I’m not sure how that works.” Apologetically, he rubs Adolphe’s palm with one thumb.

[tongzu]

"... Sorry."

Direct as usual, Adolphe doesn't mince his apology, a sheepish light in his eyes as Mathis begins to scold him. If he were wearing his glamour, he would've made his ears droop as a way to appeal to his partner. But that would be manipulative, so he decides to face Mathis plainly, knowing that he deserves every bit of admonishment that's being given to him. Mathis is still so kind about it, though. That's more than Adolphe deserves.

"It felt like... this world was created with the purpose of making everyone happy. I wasn't confident... in messing with it. That I felt like... I didn't have the right to turn your world upside down." Adolphe smiles helplessly. "I contradict myself, huh...? I do... trust you. But then sometimes, I think about shutting you away from the truth. If that's... a symbol of doubt, then I want to do better for you — bweh." The cheek pinch doesn't hurt, but it does disturb his speaking just slightly. He's probably way too happy at seeing Mathis express himself like this.

Adolphe leans into the hair touch, closing his eyes. "Alright... you win." He laughs quietly, heart fluttering as Mathis kisses him. Ridiculous how he can still react so energetically when they've repeatedly shared much more intense affection than this. Adolphe may certainly be doomed by Mathis' hands, but that's fine. Calling it his schemes is quite endearing. "Then... you're my partner-in-crime now." He squeezes Mathis lightly against his body, then relaxes his grip so that Mathis can leave. "... Right. Ankou was being an idiot and told me to back off, but I can't leave Yves like this, either."

The brunet moves to dress himself, tilting his head to the side with a gleam. "Too bad. I did like the dress on you." Putting his earrings in, he shoots Mathis a grin. "See you in a bit." Exiting the room with Mathis' bag, Adolphe places his hand over his chest, willing himself to calm down as he explores the marche. He feels like he's floating on clouds, the burden of his cowardice and fear now shared with Mathis. Seriously, what was he worried about...? His hatred for himself seems to remain steadfast, since it's hindered his ability to think straight and trust Mathis completely.

Adolphe frowns. "I need... to do better." Clapping his cheeks lightly, he shakes his head. "No more secrets. Only the truth. Even if the truth sucks ass." With a nod to himself, he manages to find a store that sells casual attire. Despite himself, Adolphe picks out an outfit for Mathis that's... very pointedly a representation of his own favored colors. A dark red t-shirt and black shorts with blue and green accents. Mathis is probably going to roll his eyes at him or get embarrassed about it (or both?) but that's fine!

He returns to the hotel room, placing the clothes on the bed as he waits for Mathis to finish his shower and come out to change. He most definitely will be staring at Mathis if given the opportunity to watch him dress, though he's mulling over his options. "I think... we can probably wake up some people from the real world," he says thoughtfully. "If you wanted to leave Camille Claude alone for the time being. Or... we could kidnap him and slap him awake. Since that's your brother, I'll let you decide what we do with him."

[fuankyara]

Mathis takes a shower that's far too long to be economical, letting the warm water fall over his shoulders as he breathes deeply. Nobody wants to be told that their reality doesn't exist. It seems like that's his lot in life, isn't it? According to Adolphe, his "real" life had also been a sham for the majority of his existence. But rather than feel like he's about to spiral with an existential crisis, Mathis feels peaceful about the revelation here. If this story that has been crafted for him isn't real, then he doesn't have to be forced into a marriage he doesn't want. That's something.

It also means that his mother... Mathis sighs. She was never real to begin with, so he shouldn't be sad about it. In fact, the mother who exists here is probably just a creation of his own brief memories of her. Still, he liked the feeling of sitting in her arms and being encouraged to try his best. Again, that was something he probably created himself.

He can't fully believe the way he spoke to Adolphe. It was confident in a way he doesn't truly feel. Mathis steps out of the bathroom with a towel, nodding with appreciation at the plain clothes. "I see, so you wanted to make us match." Mathis chuckles, deciding to call him out for it outright. "That's all right. Though I think red is better on you than me."

His hair is still a little damp, so he puts it up in a tall ponytail so he doesn't have to worry about it... then immediately takes out the tie and ties it up in a much lower ponytail. "Feels safer," Mathis says airily. He's not sure if Adolphe actually left marks there, because the mirror was too steamy to really look at himself. Given the opportunity, he's sure Adolphe will do it again, though. "I don't want to deal with Fath... Camille right now. It's kind of..." Mathis smiles weakly. "A little depressing to me, to think that even in this fabricated world where Mother is supposedly alive, that he still chooses to be controlling. It makes me think that... maybe he's just inherently a terrible person. Which, um, isn't very pleasant to think about." Nature versus nurture is always a debate, but it seems like even with different nurturing, Camille is the same as ever. "Maybe we leave him asleep... it seems like Mother is the only one he cares about, anyway."

Smiling with self-deprecation, Mathis looks away from Adolphe. "We should go to Yves." He packs up his belongings with a soft exhalation of nerves. "I don't think I'll be returning home after this... if we're separated when trying to deal with a plan to wake up, that's going to waste time. Even though Mother..." He may never be able to speak with her again, if that's the case. "...She's dead, anyway. I don't need to call home." He closes his eyes for a moment. "It's strange... I really have no reason to believe your story, but I just know in my heart that you're telling the truth. But... I'm still sad about Mother. Not enough to delude myself, but... well, this world isn't really what would have happened if she was alive, anyway... it's just a possibility."

[tongzu]

"I haven't helped you be the most clearheaded either," he sighs, resting his cheek against Mathis' ears. "My mind's a mess when I'm around you, and I keep running away..." Mathis really does have the patience of a saint, to deal with Adolphe's cowardly nature even without memories of their life in the real world. It's that repeated kindness which feeds into Adolphe's obsessive nature, admittedly, which is no fault of Mathis. If anything, perhaps Mathis is the unlucky one to have attracted his attention...

A twinge of guilt pokes at him as Mathis relents anyway. Adolphe had been hoping that his partner would care for himself for once, but it seems like Adolphe's neediness has burdened Mathis with wanting to make him happy. "It didn't hurt," he protests lightly, nodding as he follows the mouse-beast's motions to turn around. "I mean, I didn't... mind it. But, uh, I'll... save those thoughts for later." Probably shouldn't dump his depravity onto the confused Mathis for now.

"Ah—" Adolphe tenses just slightly, slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle his own sounds as his face heats up. It's significantly more mortifying to be more lucid while having Mathis' mouth on him, compared to just a few moments ago when Adolphe's heightened and aroused state had made him... very clingy. Does he hate it? ... No, but he's trying not to get riled up again so they can debrief properly.

Finally, the torturous affection is over, and Adolphe exhales shakily as Mathis crawls back into his lap. Adolphe's face is blushing too hard, and now he can't hide it since they're facing each other. He sighs, lowering his head and resting his cheek atop Mathis' forehead. "See... you could be trusted," he replies, kissing his nose. Adolphe tugs Mathis closer, relishing in their shared warmth as their breathing slowly begins to sync together. "You're the only one who gets to taste me anyway." That's probably not what he should be saying.

Adolphe smiles, idly stroking Mathis' ears. "Thanks for the bandages. Mhn... not sure where to start, but I'll try to explain what I can." With his other hand, he finds Mathis' hand and clasps their fingers together. And calmly, he decides to cut straight to the point, explaining that they were in a dream world that a deity decided to drag them into after determining they were a threat to their plans. Adolphe elaborates a bit more on Mathis' life in the real world, such as his "creation" and his relationships with his family, disclosing the reason behind his decision to avoid Mathis: that he felt as if Mathis would have been happier in this world. Since Adolphe witnessed the pain and grief Mathis had experienced regarding his identity and his "family", he didn't want to take that away from Mathis, and was afraid that being around Adolphe would have forced Mathis to regain his memories anyway.

Finally, Adolphe admits that he doesn't know how to leave the dream world yet, but he wants to go back to the real world to save Ankou and stop this deity's plans. Adolphe laughs dryly at this, stating that he isn't really a hero and he's not such a good person that he suddenly started caring about the world, but he knows Ceres would be devastated to know that her poison was used to wipe out a species. Plus, Adolphe remembers Mathis' hopes and dreams of bridging the gap between beastfolk and non-beastfolk people... and by Ankou's words, Salome and the children are still in the real world. He can't abandon them all.

"... That's about it," he says quietly, looking away as he clenches his fists into the sheets. "Now that you know, did you still... want to..." Be with me? Adolphe avoids asking that directly. "I... I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to stay in this world. I'm sure I could get that deity to reset your memories here, once I got back..." Oddly enough, Adolphe doesn't think this deity is a completely evil person. After all, they didn't have to send their "obstacles" into a paradise. It would've been much easier to kill all of them. But Mathis doesn't have to leave this paradise... therefore, it should be his choice to make once all the cards are on the table.

[fuankyara]

Adolphe is really a mess, huh? Mathis tries not to laugh as he stumbles around his words. Being told that he's the sole person with that privilege is a bit overwhelming, but he doesn't doubt that Adolphe loves him. He's... not in a place where he can say the same, for sure. It's all a bit much right now. But he'd like to be able to reciprocate, eventually. He does choke up a bit when Adolphe tells him he can be trusted. How is he supposed to stay strong in the face of such caring?

"Thank you..." Mathis is glad that Adolphe is finally coming clean. However, as he starts speaking, he finds himself at a total loss. What can he even say? A world where he didn't have proper parents and shouldn't exist? So this is a dream world, and his parents aren't...?

It's too ridiculous to believe. But of course, Mathis can feel that it's true. Of course it is. All of those strange nagging feelings can be explained with this reality.

"I..." Mathis looks Adolphe in the eye, swallowing down his nerves. "I don't understand why you couldn't have told me that before. Believing that I'd be happier in a world that's a sham... that's just babying me, isn't it? Surely, the version of me that spent all that time with you deserves better than to be coddled in such a manner." On the other hand, this version of him, whether it's real or not, is able to speak his mind a bit more directly. "The real question is, are you really sure you want to be with me? When you don't trust me to handle the truth about these things?"

He doesn't get off Adolphe's lap, though. The petting is enjoyable, and he's not actually angry. "I still would have done all of this with you if you had told me first," Mathis lectures gently. "Maybe it's the reality of everything, but nothing surprises me much. Like I already knew something was off... though I couldn't put my finger on it." Slightly annoyed, he gently pinches Adolphe's cheek. "I want to be with you, Adolphe... but there's no reason to protect me from things everyone experiences. I'm hardly the only person in this universe who's lost their parents and experienced hardship." Letting go, he runs his hand through Adolphe's hair. "You'll cause me more grief by being dishonest and running away than anything else. I don't want to be with someone who controls my thoughts and hides the truth from me. Even if I am very attracted to you..." Mathis leans over, pressing a soft kiss to Adolphe's lips. "Don't take advantage of my affection for you. Include me in your schemes, and if you don't trust me to be by your side the whole way... then you can't say that you love me."

Mathis nuzzles their foreheads together once more, then slides out of the bed. "I'm going to shower," he says, tossing his bag at Adolphe. "Do me a favor and go out for a bit to buy me a normal outfit to wear...? We have to speak to Yves, don't we? He's going to be angry if he learns someone he loved vanished because we were twiddling our thumbs... even if he doesn't know about his existence yet." For some reason, Mathis feels too calm. Maybe it's the contented exhaustion of his body, or the relief of finally being told the truth. With the extent of Adolphe's obsession laid out before him, he feels he can speak his mind safely without losing him. "Ah, um, please. And make sure there's no blood on you when you leave here. ...Later."

[fuankyara]

His heart is pounding scarily as Adolphe moves even closer to him. What is he saying? “D-Done it before?” he croaks out, shuddering as Adolphe brings that delicious-smelling blood closer and closer. “That’s… I’ve never done a thing like that to you, or… or anyone…” Unless he has some sort of amnesia? Has he been living a whole other life he doesn’t remember? And he’s harmed Adolphe like this before…? No, Adolphe must be… messing with him, or confused…

“I… I can’t…” Blood oozes from Adolphe’s back, and his throat goes dry. Mathis leans forward, even parting his lips for a moment, before clamping his mouth shut and shaking his head. Tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes from the sheer effort of holding back, but he’s starting to see red, in both the literal and figurative sense. He’s going to lose control, and hate himself. “You’re confused,” he says desperately. “I’m not the person you…” Isn’t that the reality? Adolphe has mistaken him for someone else. That’s why he claims to love and miss him. Somehow that’s even lonelier than pushing him away.

“Please… you don’t want this.” Still, Mathis leans even further in, the shimmering lines of blood beckoning him. “You don’t love me… you don’t know me.” Ah, he’s scared. He doesn’t want to become a feral animal in the face of this lovely man. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

[tongzu]

He's crying...

A thread of clarity pierces the fog that was encroaching his rationality, allowing Adolphe to heed the pleas that leave Mathis. He never wants to be the reason that Mathis cries in sorrow. More than the physical pain, too; what hurts Adolphe's heart is that his own desperation is causing Mathis to doubt himself.

In haste, he grabs a handful of the bed sheets and wraps it around himself. Then, he turns around and scoops Mathis up into his arms, bringing him into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry. I was pushy." Hopefully, the sheets do their job on helping Mathis to stave off his instincts. Adolphe's thumbs reach up to brush away Mathis' tears, gazing down firmly at him. "You're wrong, though. I'm not confused. You're the person I love, Mathis. In this world or the next, I would devote everything to you... you gave me a reason to be alive, and I won't let you get away with it."

He confesses his obsession with a firm conviction, though his movements are apologetic as he shifts his hands up to pet Mathis' ears. Maybe that will distract him from the bloodlust...? "I promise, I'll explain everything once you settle down. Just like how you don't want me to doubt your feelings, I want you... to believe in my feelings, too."

[fuankyara]

The agony of desire dulls slightly when Adolphe covers his back with bedsheets, and Mathis nods mutely, surprised that he’s suddenly in the man’s warm embrace. “O-Okay…” At least Adolphe isn’t offering himself up like a meal anymore. Mathis doesn’t want to start sobbing either way, so he takes another shaky breath. “Then… I’m the one who’s confused,” he admits, clinging to Adolphe despite it all. The feeling of his skin against his is really nice.

“A-Ah…” Helplessly, Mathis melts into Adolphe’s touch as his hands stroke through his ears. He had been trying to maintain control of this situation, but Adolphe’s passion is far beyond what he’d bargained for, and he feels timid. “I believe you…” He nuzzles his face against Adolphe’s chest, the instinct mortifying him. “But I…”

He can still smell the blood, somewhat. And it’s not fully staunched, either. “You… really want me to…” With a shake of his head, he tugs the sheets back off Adolphe. “I’ll… honor your wishes. You’re still bleeding, and I… feel terrible for hurting you.” His tail hooks through his bag, which is on the side table, and he tugs it over. “I have bandages in here,” he explains. Something he carries in case he gets into trouble. “I’ll… clean it first, like you wanted…” He swallows. “But you have to explain after, like you promised…”

Gently, he turns Adolphe around again. All he needs to do is promise himself he won’t go too far. “I’ll be careful…” Mathis leans forward, his lips brushing against the blood, and he gasps lightly. It’s so delicious… “Shit,” he whispers, leaning further to let his tongue follow the line of the scratch marks he made, and his ears flutter happily. Dutifully, he cleans out the wounds, taking note of whether Adolphe flinches at certain places so he can pull back. He drags his tongue down the line of blood that had dripped as well, cleaning the skin. One more gentle stroke on the wound itself, which causes him to moan unabashedly; then, with shaking hands, he uses the sheets to pat off the moisture so he can place bandages over the cuts securely.

His whole body feels warm and content, like he’d just ingested some kind of magical drug. But he has to go back to coherence so Adolphe will explain himself. The man was right that he loved exactly how that felt and tasted, which is terrifying. “You’re incredible,” Mathis murmurs, snuggling back up into Adolphe’s lap. “Beastfolk would kill to taste you… I’ll be more careful about things from now on. My promise was to keep you safe, after all…”

[fuankyara]

The blood is driving him crazy. His pulse rings in his ears, that instinct to flip Adolphe over and carve up his back frighteningly strong. Mathis forces himself to remember the way Adolphe shivered with fear when he was pushed in the fountain by the squirrel-beast. Does he want to be the reason his partner makes a similar expression? Of course not.

Mouth hidden under his hand, he licks his lips. This is tough...

He can't bring himself to respond verbally, afraid he'll make a horrible, threatening sound and scare him off, so he just nods. He focuses on the vibration of Adolphe's voice in his ears, and the way his lips brush against them, teasing him. This man is possessive... another non-surprise, but it certainly is different from the pathetic way he was acting before. Mathis does want to be wanted. That's what he would be thinking about, if he could focus.

Mathis shakes his head desperately, pushing even further with his hand to staunch the instincts. He wants to kiss, too. Not right now, though. Another whimper leaves his throat, begging Adolphe to give up on his... begging.

The sudden onslaught of love makes him gasp. Adolphe loves him? That's too much right now. Far too much, more than he ever expected. With an overwhelmed moan, Mathis's body shudders against Adolphe, then relaxes in a haze of pleasure. His head is spinning with confusion, and lust... and bloodlust. And the impossible feeling that they've done this before. And the dissociation that he's not even sure who he is anymore...

"Adolphe," Mathis croaks, his tired body twitching as it continues to react to the blood slowly dripping down Adolphe's back. "Oh, god. Distance..." Weakly, he squirms away from Adolphe and shoves his face into a pillow, his fingers flexing as he strains to hold back his urge to attack him. The dagger that was strapped to his leg is discarded with the dress. He could use it to...

His body wants the blood. It's terrifying. With a whimper, he continues to back up from Adolphe. "I'll hurt you," Mathis whispers, and it's not like Adolphe's self-deprecation. This is a very real possibility if he doesn't get ahold of himself. "P-Please, I can't... it's torture..." He looks up slowly, his eyes dialated as he watches the blood drip from Adolphe's back. "I did this. I'm sorry... I promise, I... I'm trying not to..."

[tongzu]

Overwhelmed by the lovely sensation of his partner's body against him, Adolphe reaches his peak far too easily, a pleasant and comforting haze washing over him as he relaxes, careful not to suddenly collapse atop Mathis. It's... definitely strange, for the body to be exhausted but his soul to be satiated.

"...?" Adolphe blinks slowly in confusion as Mathis squirms away. He's way too dazed to register anything properly, only that Mathis looks lovely in the afterglow of intimacy. Adolphe does feel slightly dizzy, and he isn't sure if that's due to coming down from his high or... ah. Faintly, he finally registers the way that Mathis follows the flow of blood from his back, and the way he's looking at him.

Adolphe tilts his head with a smile. "I trust you. It's alright. " Not heeding any sense of danger, Mathis' concern is touching. Adolphe crawls over the mouse-beast's body, nuzzling against the hand that's covering his face. "You want it, right? My blood... it's okay. You can take it. You've done it before." Adolphe's eyes are glimmering with affection and trust, coming closer to Mathis and refusing to put any distance between them. That distance is lonely, too. "You like it. Cleaning my wounds, drinking my blood... it tastes good to you."

Adolphe scoots his body up, sitting next to Mathis with his back turned to him, providing him easier access. "I'm yours, Mathis." He turns his head to glance back at him, completely pliant and willing to serve. In fact, there's a large sense of anticipation causing his body to shudder eagerly, and he purposefully flexes his body to squeeze out more blood from the wounds. He wants Mathis' lips on him, all over his body. His love for Mathis is insatiable, and he craves more closeness, mind clouded by endorphins. "Please... I miss you."

[fuankyara]

His heart is pounding scarily as Adolphe moves even closer to him. What is he saying? “D-Done it before?” he croaks out, shuddering as Adolphe brings that delicious-smelling blood closer and closer. “That’s… I’ve never done a thing like that to you, or… or anyone…” Unless he has some sort of amnesia? Has he been living a whole other life he doesn’t remember? And he’s harmed Adolphe like this before…? No, Adolphe must be… messing with him, or confused…

“I… I can’t…” Blood oozes from Adolphe’s back, and his throat goes dry. Mathis leans forward, even parting his lips for a moment, before clamping his mouth shut and shaking his head. Tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes from the sheer effort of holding back, but he’s starting to see red, in both the literal and figurative sense. He’s going to lose control, and hate himself. “You’re confused,” he says desperately. “I’m not the person you…” Isn’t that the reality? Adolphe has mistaken him for someone else. That’s why he claims to love and miss him. Somehow that’s even lonelier than pushing him away.

“Please… you don’t want this.” Still, Mathis leans even further in, the shimmering lines of blood beckoning him. “You don’t love me… you don’t know me.” Ah, he’s scared. He doesn’t want to become a feral animal in the face of this lovely man. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

[tongzu]

Truthfully, he's always thought about the kind of marks Mathis would leave on his body. A jolt of anticipation runs through his nerves as Mathis' nails press against his skin. Adolphe inhales sharply at the tiny burst of pain, shuddering in pleasure as his jaw clenches. Perhaps at some point, he should accept that any kind of pain Mathis inflicts on him is more than welcomed, even if it would probably horrify his partner.

"Mhn... alright." Oblivious to Mathis' plight, Adolphe's hand flies up to grasp Mathis' free one, clasping their fingers together and pinning his arm to the bed. A strangled groan slips past as he begins to move his hips, rapid motions that reveal the full desperation of his desires. Blood and sweat drip down his back as Adolphe leans down, kissing those cute, twitching ears. "You feel good," he whispers, purposefully letting his voice strained with pleasure echo closely to Mathis' sensitive ears. "All for me, right? Just like how I belong to you..."

He squeezes Mathis' hand, dipping down to pepper kisses all over his face. It's a shame that Mathis is covering his mouth... he really does enjoy kissing while they're lost in the throes of passion. Maybe he can beg in his own way, brushing his lips against Mathis' knuckles and nudging at him to move his hand away. "Mathis." Returning the call, he smiles adoringly at his partner, keeping his gaze fixated on the mouse-beast's wrecked expression. "I love you."

Adolphe never wants to leave this lovely person ever again. With tiny pants of pleasure echoing in this intimate space, the dizzying heat washing over him forces Adolphe to tighten his grip on Mathis' hand. "Hah, ah... close..." He bumps his forehead against Mathis, sweat-slickered bangs pressed together messily. "Please... with me..."

[fuankyara]

The blood is driving him crazy. His pulse rings in his ears, that instinct to flip Adolphe over and carve up his back frighteningly strong. Mathis forces himself to remember the way Adolphe shivered with fear when he was pushed in the fountain by the squirrel-beast. Does he want to be the reason his partner makes a similar expression? Of course not.

Mouth hidden under his hand, he licks his lips. This is tough...

He can't bring himself to respond verbally, afraid he'll make a horrible, threatening sound and scare him off, so he just nods. He focuses on the vibration of Adolphe's voice in his ears, and the way his lips brush against them, teasing him. This man is possessive... another non-surprise, but it certainly is different from the pathetic way he was acting before. Mathis does want to be wanted. That's what he would be thinking about, if he could focus.

Mathis shakes his head desperately, pushing even further with his hand to staunch the instincts. He wants to kiss, too. Not right now, though. Another whimper leaves his throat, begging Adolphe to give up on his... begging.

The sudden onslaught of love makes him gasp. Adolphe loves him? That's too much right now. Far too much, more than he ever expected. With an overwhelmed moan, Mathis's body shudders against Adolphe, then relaxes in a haze of pleasure. His head is spinning with confusion, and lust... and bloodlust. And the impossible feeling that they've done this before. And the dissociation that he's not even sure who he is anymore...

"Adolphe," Mathis croaks, his tired body twitching as it continues to react to the blood slowly dripping down Adolphe's back. "Oh, god. Distance..." Weakly, he squirms away from Adolphe and shoves his face into a pillow, his fingers flexing as he strains to hold back his urge to attack him. The dagger that was strapped to his leg is discarded with the dress. He could use it to...

His body wants the blood. It's terrifying. With a whimper, he continues to back up from Adolphe. "I'll hurt you," Mathis whispers, and it's not like Adolphe's self-deprecation. This is a very real possibility if he doesn't get ahold of himself. "P-Please, I can't... it's torture..." He looks up slowly, his eyes dialated as he watches the blood drip from Adolphe's back. "I did this. I'm sorry... I promise, I... I'm trying not to..."

[tongzu]

There's a long line of beastfolk eager to earn Mathis Claude's favor, and against those odds, Adolphe has bested the competition. If the repeated failures he's encountered in life were all for the purpose of this one moment, where Mathis becomes pliant in his arms, then that's the only victory that Adolphe needs.

His own body flushes a shade of red that matches Mathis, eager to draw out more of those enchanting sounds from his lips. In this world, in these bodies, this should be a completely new experience for the both of them. But seems like their souls remember, and the way Mathis is reacting to his ministrations informs Adolphe that his partner is close.

With some dismay, Adolphe carefully withdraws his mouth before Mathis can reach his peak, placing an apologetic kiss to his thigh. "Sorry... I'm not quite done with you. Like you said, I want you... now and for the rest of my life." He isn't sure how Mathis' stamina fares, but he wants to fulfill that request for more. Adolphe tugs the dress off, deciding that he wants to appreciate more of that beautiful, flushed skin. He'll never get stick of staring at Mathis. Shuddering in excitement, he grabs Mathis' ankles and lifts, resting them on either side of his shoulders as Adolphe straightens his back and shifts his hips forward, sinking into his partner with a strained gasp. His hands dig into the bedsheets, attempting to temper his breathing in a weak effort to be patient. "Hah... you're beautiful..."

[fuankyara]

He should be scared, that this man who he's only known for a little while wants to go all the way with him. Instead, all he can manage is eagerness, the thrill overriding logic. Now that the dam of emotions has burst, Adolphe is treating him like someone he's known forever. Someone he's loved forever. And he likes that feeling.

Mathis nods weakly, shivering as the chill of the room makes his skin prickle. How did they go from barely talking to vows to be with him forever? "Adolphe, I..." The man sinks down, sliding inside, and Mathis mewls with surprise, an unfamiliar burst of pain and pleasure making him reflexively wrap his arms around Adolphe's back. "Y-You too," he whispers lamely, his nails digging into Adolphe's skin with a strained whimper as he moves deeper. He has to be careful... his nails are a little sharper, because he's a beastperson, and he doesn't want to...

Break the skin. He can smell that it happened before he feels it. Nervously, Mathis retreats his hands, a sudden unquenchable urge making his whole body feel hot, like what he would expect catnip would feel like to a cat. Maybe. Confusingly, it also increases his pleasure, and he thrashes lightly, once, before forcing himself to grow calmer with a deep breath. A deep breath that brings that foreign, delicious scent right back to him. If he loses control here, Adolphe can't fight back. And it certainly wouldn't be romantic to tear him apart in the middle of all this.

"Adolphe," Mathis begs, clamping one hand over his mouth and nose. Hopefully he just thinks Mathis is trying to avoid making embarrassing sounds and not, you know, holding back from eating him. "F-Faster... please." A little more movement and his body will relax, then he can squirm free and bury his face in a pillow. Ah, but he's enjoying this too, isn't he? Feels nice... and Adolphe smells nice. His mind is jumbled up right now...

[tongzu]

"... One might call it fate," he says, closing his eyes momentarily. He can't very circumvent the issue, but he can continue to delay it. "I wanted to commit everything I know about you to memory. But I promise, I'll tell you everything later." Adolphe opens his eyes, gazing up at him softly. "Even if I say you're strong, I want to put you somewhere where you can stay safe and protected. But that's not... what you want. You..."

Adolphe exhales softly. "You're stubborn, and you surprise me with the things you can handle. Every single time..." He squeezes his thighs gently. "The strongest, kindest person I know. I feel like I'm going insane, really, with how easily you warp the shape of my love."

He lowers his head, like a knight swearing fealty to their liege. Adolphe's lips gently envelop his partner as his fingers massage adoring circles onto the plush skin. His tongue flicks out to tease Mathis, going as deep as he can, and playing around with the mouse-beast like a famished man. In a sense, he truly had been depriving himself with his attempts to flee. Now, he must make up for it tenfold, indulging in his promise to protect all the trust that Mathis has placed in his hands.

[fuankyara]

What is he talking about? Mathis isn't sure what to say to any of these declarations. Every single time? They've never done this before, right? Didn't Mathis meet him for the first time some weeks back, when he went to deliver books to the orphanage? Adolphe is talking like he's known Mathis for his whole life. Perhaps something magical is going on. After all, this person is a human, which shouldn't exist in this world. His mind wanders to the idea of alternate universes...

"Ah," Mathis gasps quietly, a dizzying array of pleasure crashing over him suddenly. He shouldn't have let his mind wander. One hand clumsily slips into Adolphe's hair, not to pull him back, but to gently play with the strands, an encouragement that it feels good. Despite it all, he feels no shame that he's letting his stranger in to the crevices of his body like it's nothing. He feels like he belongs to Adolphe, and always has. Adolphe's callused fingers against his thighs make him whimper, and his head falls back helplessly onto the bed. He could never marry a noblewoman when he already has such an incredible person taking care of him.

"Oh, Adolphe," he moans, his hips twitching as the man goes deeper. "I knew you wanted me..." What an arrogant thing to slip out of his mouth. Mathis's cheeks flush crimson. "I'll... make sure you have... anything you've always wanted..." He's already close, and his body has heated up alarmingly. "P-Please... I need more..."

[tongzu]

The sight of his slightly messy hair is mesmerizing, brushing against Adolphe's face as he continues his task of leaving small marks — thankfully, he has half a mind to not leave them too high, for the sake of modesty. The brunet glances up to meet Mathis' heated gaze, mulling over how he should respond to the question. Selfishly, he doesn't want to reveal anything until after he's satisfied his partner. Perhaps a part of Adolphe is hoping to hide the weight of his sins behind dragging Mathis into an abyss of pleasure.

"I thought you'd be happier without me," he admits. That, at least, is still the truth without the weight of false dreams clinging to it. Adolphe lifts Mathis carefully, flipping him onto the bed. He tugs off his shirt, throwing it to the side as he decides whether or not he should remove Mathis' dress. It really does look nice on him, though... with a shrug, Adolphe dips down, flips the hem of the dress over, and kisses the inside of Mathis' thigh, biting gently. "That I'd ruin this blissful dream of yours, if I were involved with you..." Adolphe moves his lips to Mathis' other thigh, sealing his mouth over the pale skin to leave behind more greedy marks.

Once he's satisfied with his painting, he glances up at Mathis idly, insatiable desire blazing in his eyes. "Don't go easy on you? Hm..." He rests his cheek atop the soft skin of his thighs, exhaling softly to allow his warm breath to fold over the most sensitive area of Mathis' body. "You sure you can handle it?"

[fuankyara]

"You act like you know me," Mathis murmurs, which further compounds his confusion. Not only that, but he acts like he knows Mathis better than he knows himself. "How would you know what my life is like...?" The question trails off into a whimper as Adolphe gently sinks his teeth into his thigh. "C-Careful, I have to hide those..." Though it seems like Adolphe is well aware of that.

His gaze falls hungrily on Adolphe's shirtless torso. He feels like one of those insatiable protagonists from the romance novels he reads sometimes, the woman who's mesmerized by a well-built man's chiseled abs. Seems there's some merit to that line of gaze after all.

Mathis exhales nervously as Adolphe's warm breath teases him, and his leg twitches. "I'm... n-not entirely sure... but I'd like to be able to handle it," he says in a tiny voice, his ears twitching with embarrassment. "What... about you, Adolphe...? Since you... act like you know what I want... and what I can handle. Do you think I can handle it...?"

[tongzu]

The silence heightens his nerves, even if he's committed to staying for as long as Mathis wants him here. His body and soul exist to serve Mathis, seamlessly obeying the unspoken command given to him. As the mouse-beast situates himself atop him once more, Adolphe's hands rest on Mathis' hips. "The party wasn't your fault," he murmurs. "Besides, it was worth it anyway. I liked seeing you in a suit, too..." Anything that Mathis wears is lovely, after all.

"Mhn..." Adolphe bites down a moan as Mathis inspects his ears, his grip tightening on his hips. Thankfully, he doesn't have to linger too much on his own embarrassing reactions, dragging Mathis into a series of languid, fervent kisses that certainly aren't meant for strangers. He can't hold back his obsessive love, days of running away from Mathis wearing down at his soul. Now, all that's left is a man who may very well be a beast when it comes to the dedication that he will lay at Mathis' feet.

Though a part of Adolphe wonders if Mathis'... preferences are any different with the type of upbringing he's had. That, too, is something that piques his curiosity. His hand wanders, sneaking under the hem of Mathis' dress to massage their way up his leg, sighing in content at the feeling of his smooth skin. "Pretty... and soft." He squeezes Mathis' thigh. "I'll be gentle with you," he says quietly, lips quirked into a tiny, teasing smirk as he lowers his mouth to pepper kisses across his neck. "Though if you have any special requests, I'll serve you just as well."

[fuankyara]

"I liked seeing you dressed up, too," Mathis says shyly, staring at this man adoringly. Human... it doesn't make sense to him, but his heart beats the same either way. It's strange, but Adolphe moves in a way that makes it feel like they've known each other a long time. Mathis can't explain it, but like the curry, it's a nostalgic kind of feeling.

He kisses back in a heated manner, satisfied that his persistence has paid off. Adolphe is his now, after he finally got the man to admit his attraction to Mathis, and he's ready to lose himself entirely in this madness. Adolphe's warm mouth kisses the breath out of him, and Mathis clutches his chest, the slight suffocation making him see stars. His hips twitch, and he wonders why he's turned on by something like that.

"Ah... oh..." Mathis shudders as Adolphe's warm hand snakes up his leg, and he blushes furiously, feeling Adolphe squeeze his thigh. All that teasing, and now he's promising to be gentle? Clumsily, Mathis uses one hand to fiddle with his hair until the tie comes undone, shaking his head as the hair spills out over his shoulders. "T-Tickles..." The assault of teasing kisses across his neck makes him whimper. "You're so eager... wh-why were you... so resistant before...?" He stares down at Adolphe, his bruised lips slightly parted. "I'm not experienced..." Mathis wonders if Adolphe has done this with other people before, and he frowns. "B-But you... don't have to go easy on me..."

[fuankyara]

"I'm not paying you to spend time with me," Mathis scolds, scowling even as Adolphe plays with his lips. "Don't misunderstand... or even joke about that." He wants to make it very clear that he cares about Adolphe genuinely and isn't trying to hire him for any services. Though he's aware the cat-beast is teasing him, the history with his mother makes him a bit prickly when it comes to jokes like that. "...B-But... it's nice to see you laugh..."

Stumbling to his feet, Mathis can't fully believe this is happening, that he somehow managed to seduce this man who had been avoiding him so staunchly before. "I won't change my mind..." This feels like a turning point in his life. He still knows nothing about Adolphe, so it's a foolish leap, but he can't help himself.

They walk back into town, and Mathis pushes his bag into Adolphe's hands. "Just pretend like you're... paying for your girlfriend, or something," he says, his ears twitching with embarrassment. "I don't want to be caught throwing money around and get reported to my family... s-sorry if it's more awkward this way."

[tongzu]

Mathis' embarrassment is cute, even when they've come this far. He should probably be kinder to him, too, but unfortunately that spot of meanness that Mathis alluded to not being present just comes out in a different manner. Admittedly, it does feel weird to pay for something in a world where it may not matter... but that's fine.

"I don't mind," Adolphe replies simply, patting the top of Mathis' head once carefully so as to not mess up his hair or his beret. "Too bad I can't be paying for a boyfriend, hm?" It's a bit juvenile to call Mathis that, but he may as well play along.

Unbothered, Adolphe goes up to the clerk and pays for the room. The advantage of having a face that people get intimidated by is the fact that no one judges or gives them second, judgmental glances. What's intriguing to Adolphe is that apparently, there are... specialized rooms for the guests that want extra privacy. As they're led to the room by the staff and the door shuts behind them, Adolphe takes an extra second to take in the atmosphere.

Soundproofed and sealed, so that even scents from the inside won't be able to filter out the door. It's also rather spacious, and Adolphe sets Mathis' bag on the table. The scent countermeasure is convenient. This means he can reveal who he is without worry. He's not sure what it'll take to "wake" Mathis up, but Adolphe wants to be able to treat him well before that happens. He has a feeling the key to bringing them back to reality may not be pleasant.

"Before we move on..." Adolphe's fingers twitch, and he slowly lifts them to his human ears, hidden from sight. "I have... another confession to make. I've been hiding the fact that I'm..." With a deep breath, he removes his earrings, and the features of the cat-beast fade away. "... human."

[fuankyara]

"Adolphe," Mathis lectures weakly, but he doesn't have it in him to criticize the cat-beast right now. Nobody gives them trouble, since Adolphe is the one paying. Mathis is sure if he had been the one at the desk, the clerk would have teased him. His stature and delicate features have never been great at making people take him seriously, part of this reason why his fate to be an heir is unpleasant.

Once the door is shut behind them, Mathis realizes the insanity of what he's doing. Paying to fool around with a relative stranger, that might ruin his relationship with his parents, because he has a crazy crush he can't even explain... yet, even when he lays it out like that in his mind, he can't talk himself out of it. When Adolphe looks at him in a desirable manner, it's as though the rest of the world melts away, an almost natural tipsiness. Mathis is glad he's also not drunk.

"Hmm...?" Surely Adolphe isn't backing out now...? "You..." His throat goes dry when the cat features fade away, and his mind is entirely blank. Human? In this world...? Aren't they kind of... mythical?

He's shocked... he thinks. Is he...? Mathis stares at Adolphe, but he can't actually tell if he's surprised or not. Hadn't he believed that Adolphe was a cat-beast? He smelled the part, and had sharp fangs. Then why does this revelation not take him aback as much as he thought? Is something wrong with him?

Mathis doesn't react immediately. His body moves on his own, pressing his hand on Adolphe's shoulder to lower him to sit on the bed. With a fuzzy sense of reality, he crawls into Adolphe's lap again, breathing slowly. "I'm... sorry about the party." The only rational thought left is that Adolphe must have been scared due to not being a beastperson. "I'm... confused. You're..." Is he supposed to ask? How is he even here? "...Does it matter? You... can still pet my ears... even if I can't pet yours." Or can he? Curiously, he lifts one hand to run a finger along the shell of Adolphe's ear. He wants an explanation... after. For now, he simply leans forward to press their lips together, not wanting to ruin this opportunity he has to be happy.

[tongzu]

Oh. The table, huh? Adolphe flushes a terrible red hue to match Mathis' flustered expression. He hadn't expected that his shoddy attempt at bullying Mathis had actually awakened something insatiable in the poor, innocent mouse-beast. Mathis' suggestion is also quite embarrassing, but the way he squirms makes Adolphe's breath hitch once more. If he moves around like that, he can probably feel how aroused Adolphe is too, huh...?

"Heh... paying for my time and company? I'd give you my services at a discounted rate then." Adolphe laughs quietly, sitting up and smoothing his thumb over the shape of Mathis' lips. Teasing him, as a bit of revenge for earlier. "I could never stop wanting you." Adolphe helps Mathis to his feet, keeping their hands intertwined together. "But if you change your mind, I won't hold it against you either, alright? I'm just... happy to be with you." He's still riding the high of being chosen as the ultimatum, an unfathomable decision despite knowing how dedicated Mathis is to him.

[fuankyara]

"I'm not paying you to spend time with me," Mathis scolds, scowling even as Adolphe plays with his lips. "Don't misunderstand... or even joke about that." He wants to make it very clear that he cares about Adolphe genuinely and isn't trying to hire him for any services. Though he's aware the cat-beast is teasing him, the history with his mother makes him a bit prickly when it comes to jokes like that. "...B-But... it's nice to see you laugh..."

Stumbling to his feet, Mathis can't fully believe this is happening, that he somehow managed to seduce this man who had been avoiding him so staunchly before. "I won't change my mind..." This feels like a turning point in his life. He still knows nothing about Adolphe, so it's a foolish leap, but he can't help himself.

They walk back into town, and Mathis pushes his bag into Adolphe's hands. "Just pretend like you're... paying for your girlfriend, or something," he says, his ears twitching with embarrassment. "I don't want to be caught throwing money around and get reported to my family... s-sorry if it's more awkward this way."

[tongzu]

Ah. His stomach does a flip at the way Mathis' greediness sneaks around him, a shift of positions to where passion maneuvers his body to fit itself onto Adolphe's lap, like it's his rightful spot. He has to hold back laughter, amused by the simple fact that what should have been a simple kiss quickly devolves into a mess of grabbing and breathing. They're both hopeless, but Adolphe enjoys it, admiring the way Mathis breathlessly pulls away.

"I think you'd be surprised," he murmurs in response to Mathis' claim of inexperience. Adolphe sneaks his hands around Mathis' waist, pushing on the small of his back in a subtle encouragement for Mathis to come closer together. As their chests press against each other, Adolphe smiles at the way their hearts beat quickly in sync. He's glad that he can enjoy the proof of their life, even when this world is fake. "Well, it's respectable to me. If you're allowing me to be eager, I don't see why you can't be the same. I'm believing in the feelings that you say are real..."

Leaning down, Adolphe's lips nip gently at the side of Mathis' neck, sucking a tiny mark there. Finally. It was maddening how Mathis had paraded this hairstyle around with confidence, unwittingly tapping into Adolphe's perverse confession from the other day. "Unless... you want me to stop."

[fuankyara]

"They're real..." Mathis murmurs. "I'm... hopelessly attracted to you..." The cat-beast is smiling for the first time as their chests press together, and Mathis stares at him in wonder. Handsome... "When you pushed me against the... the table, I... w-wanted you to keep going, before..." He likes when Adolphe is a little pushy. It's so much nicer than running away from him.

Mathis gasps as Adolphe's lips move to his neck, eyes fluttering shut at the surprisingly pleasure. "I... don't want you to stop," he admits breathlessly, "but not here... it's too... exposed." It will kill the mood for him if someone catches them. On the other hand, the thought of being alone in a room with Adolphe is too tempting to bear. It's probably not safe to go to the orphanage, since there are children there. Then...

"We could... r-rent a hotel room, for a few hours." That suggestion makes him sound depraved, doesn't it? "I'll... pay for it. I want privacy... with you..." Mathis squirms against Adolphe's lap. "I want a space that's just us... if you don't mind... sneaking around, just a little bit..." A bead of sweat crawls down his back. "You won't... stop... w-wanting me if we relocate, will you?"

[tongzu]

Despite being the one to ask the question, Adolphe can't help but feel anxious. Mathis' response will determine his next steps, and even if he vows to preserve the state of Mathis' happiness, if that happiness doesn't involve him, it would... certainly affect his sensibilities a bit more than he would like.

... He was worried for nothing. This lovely, wonderful person wraps him up in affection, and Adolphe is helpless to do anything against it, tilting his head down to look at Mathis. The hand that loops around his causes Adolphe to lace their fingers together, his solace amidst the honest confession. The rock that had stubbornly stuck in his throat since he regained awareness of reality seems to dislodge itself on its own as Mathis, unknowingly, assuages his fears.

Mathis... is choosing him. A part of Adolphe thinks Mathis might regret it, if he regains his memories... but isn't this enough...? Mathis is choosing Adolphe over everything else. His resolve has crumbled to dust. "..." For an unemotional face, Adolphe feels a myriad of emotions threatening to overwhelm him once more. That sparkle in his eyes that Mathis is admiring is nothing more than a gleam that's leading into tears. When Mathis closes his eyes, a few drops of Adolphe's tears fall onto his cheeks.

"... Yeah." Adolphe wipes away his tears from Mathis' face, slowly leaning down so that their noses bump against each other. Not the greatest position for his back, but... "I want you, Mathis Claude, more than you can even imagine." Adolphe presses his lips to Mathis' mouth, relishing in that soft warmth.

[fuankyara]

He doesn't know Adolphe at all, really. But the man slots into his heart as though he's always belonged there. "Adolphe..." Mathis knows he's insane for falling in love so easily, but the man has already become an obsession for him. His eyes blink open as moisture drips onto his face, but it's not raining. Adolphe isn't smiling, but he's happy to be chosen, isn't he?

Mathis feels his heart stop at Adolphe's bold confession. "You..." Suddenly his mouth is enveloped by warmth, and Mathis moans quietly with surprise, shivering with delight as this flighty person finally takes what he wants. His tail curls around Adolphe's waist, and he sits up, leaning greedily into the kiss. The more he shifts around, the more the dress hitches up, which is dangerous. It's the middle of the day, and they're in the open, but he wants...

Adolphe steals his breath away faster than expected, and he whimpers, pulling away with a gasp as his chest heaves. He's... incredibly aroused, a feeling he's never experienced from another person before, and moments away from falling into an abyss of desperation. "I... want you too," he says weakly, clutching at Adolphe's clothes. "I've never felt this way before..." He has to force himself to calm down, right? "We're in public," Mathis murmurs. "But... I've been thinking about you nonstop. This is... dangerous..." His tail twitches. "Not... a very respectable, nobleman kind of feeling, is it...?"

[tongzu]

Given the fact that he spent the night of the party shivering away in a carriage, Adolphe would have expected himself to fall sick. The fact that he was fine, and has been fine, tells him that in this dream world, it's unlikely that natural causes of illness and death will happen to him. Truly, the ideal paradise.

But Adolphe isn't interested in eternal life. He doesn't want the misery that Ankou has gone through, and he knows he can't stay here. For every intent and purpose, Adolphe enjoys the trials of being human, even at the cost of fear. Ideally, Mathis would be at his side... but that will be up to him.

Lost in his thoughts, he keeps his gaze on the mouse-beast beside him, eating his portion quietly. Mathis looks as if he's illuminated by the sun, the rays casting a halo around him that's absolutely mesmerizing. He wants to commit this image to memory, in case things go wrong.

"Right..." Adolphe laughs softly as he watches the crumbs fall. Absently, he brushes those crumbs away from Mathis' clothes, then hesitantly lifts his hand to gently caress the side of Mathis' face. After indulging a second longer, he moves his hand away. "It's a question I asked you before... but I'll be more intentional about it. The life you have now... the relationship you have with your father and your mother. Respected by all these nobles, having your own dreams and aspirations..." Adolphe's fingers curl into a fist, and he looks down, gaze fixated on the way the breeze causes the flowers to sway below them. "Are you happy with them? If you had to choose between losing everything you've gained here... or being with me, what would you want?"

[fuankyara]

Unconsciously, Mathis moves to nuzzle his face against Adolphe's hand, a bit disappointed when he pulls back. "What I've gained...?" It's a strange way to put it, but as Adolphe talks, Mathis realizes he's misunderstood all along.

In a moment of boldness, Mathis leans back until his head is resting in Adolphe's lap, gazing up at him. "I'm not happy," he says simply, admitting it for the first time. "It's strange... everything is handed to me on a platter. But I feel like I'm being controlled by all these customs I don't want to follow and don't care about..."

He reaches up to take Adolphe's hand again. "I didn't want to tell you I was... dissatisfied. I thought, considering our upbringing... that I would seem like a spoiled ingrate. But it's not exactly as you say... my father is very controlling, and as a mouse-beast myself, I'm not very respected. My dreams are entirely out of reach, as long as I do what Father says. He's trying to marry me off within the month, but I just... want to run away from it all. Like there are chains around me..."

Honesty goes both ways. He hopes Adolphe doesn't think worse of him now that he's admitted these things. "I want freedom... and I want to be able to choose my own partner. Even if it's... not exactly the person my father would approve of." His heart thumps dangerously in his chest as he gazes up at Adolphe, watching the man's pretty golden eyes sparkle in the sun. "I... know it's a crazy thing to say, but... I just can't help but want to be with you... like it's the most important thing in the world." He closes his eyes as warmth floods his face. "What... about you? Do you..." He swallows. "Want me... too?"

[tongzu]

If Adolphe had been the same person that he was when he first met Mathis, then he definitely would have believed that he manipulated or deceived Mathis to some degree. As it stands now, though, he does accept that Mathis' feelings are genuine. Perhaps that's more terrifying than rejecting them, knowing that a fragment of reality is clinging stubbornly to the paradise that Mathis needs to stay in.

"... Your mother is stronger than me." The encounter with Rosalie's ghost still haunts a part of his guilt. "And, well, I can't fake hatred with you, either. Should've figured that my affection for you would be our downfall." He gently squeezes Mathis' hand. "For the record, you're much better than your... father. I don't think you're anything like him... if you are, then you're kinder about it."

Gathering the rest of their food for their "picnic", Adolphe leads Mathis out of the march, onto a pathway to the forest that leads to the orphanage. The walk is silent, Adolphe lost in his thoughts and relishing the warmth of the mouse-beast's hand. At a point on the pathway, it diverges, and Adolphe takes the opposite path that leads to a familiar flower field. Adolphe is glad that the worlds exist in tandem, to where this place of solitude remains comforting.

Placing the baskets of food on the ground, Adolphe lets go of Mathis hand and unpacks the food. He doesn't have a blanket, but luckily, the containers should be enough to protect the food. Adolphe keeps his gaze down. "Eat first. Then, after... I have something to ask you."

[fuankyara]

"...?" Adolphe is acting like he knows both of his parents personally. They've never met, right? If he had interacted with Rosalie or Camille at the party, he's sure he would have heard about it from them. And he's certain that Adolphe didn't speak to anyone but him.

His mind buzzes when Adolphe says affection for you, and the question is pushed from his thoughts.

The place Adolphe whisks him away to is beautiful. His eyes sparkle at the array of flowers in the grass, and the warmth of the sun feels good on his face. The entire time, Adolphe doesn't let go of his hand, and Mathis feels like he's in a dream.

"All right... as long as you do ask." Adolphe's wording makes it seem very ominous. Mathis sets it aside for now, taking out one of the sandwiches and nibbling happily. He takes some sips of the lemonade as well, also delicious. They sit in silence for a while as they eat, the wind blowing loose a few strands of Mathis's hair. He has to make sure to sit a bit more properly while he's in a dress, but he still manages to get crumbs on his chest as he indulges in the food. He's never been great at etiquette.

"I'm glad you finally want to talk to me," Mathis says, gazing up at the sky. "I think it's... important that we do. What's the question, then...?"