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[ .. .. useless words from a museless girl .. .. ] [also a-fool.tumblr.com ]

[fucking-museless]

When the chill of Autumn settles upon the world, where will you find the warmth to get you through the night?

There is a loneliness about this time of year, ever present in the nipping wind and fading light.

[a-fool]

I offer my self.

I offer my love.

I offer a future.

To have it rejected not only says no to me, but everything I could ever offer, anything I could ever be.

[fucking-museless]

2004

Twisted truths Within a w e b of lies Impending t e r r o r Sanity DIES Constant confusions   Spiraling deep Mirrored i l l u s i o n s In insanity's keep Hollow laughter Straying tear SANITY l o s t Bound by fear Emotions left behind simply weak Mute to the world no need to speak One track MIND with a firm notion Misplaced manner F rozen emotioN

  J.Johnston

[fucking-museless]

2006

I'm going to tell my self that it's okay That all will be alright

Ignore the lingering doubts That keep me up all night

. You tell me to face my fears Believe the words you say Give in to the idea That tomorrow will be okay. . So I'll pretend to be strong Believing that forever is true Ignoring what I feel For just one more moment with you . But as hard as I may try I'm forced to look away When those hollow eyes see threw me When I hear the words you wont say

.

Why should I cling so hard To someone who's going to leave Forevers are never true But for you I'll pretend to believe.

[fucking-museless]

2007

' Your face shows nothing, but your heart's still suffering Drowning your self in sorrows, the past beings you no tomorrow ' - my sister The storm lingers in the distance The horizon darkens still The calm so still and silent The wait to much to bare The wait of what is coming for the lightning to strike it's mark Fires to blaze the world which is fading to dark shelter should be taken by those who wish not to be swept away violent winds a blowing chaos and decay The sky flashes brilliance The clouds echo back screaming to the stars which slowly fade to black

j. johnston

[fucking-museless]

2007

Who is to say that this world is to be contained withing the shades of black and white. excluding even all shades of gray. As if nothing lingers between the absence of color and the presence of every and all.

[fucking-museless]

2007

floating within my self around my self outside my self trying not to loose my self while i disconnect my self so i can randomly scatter my self within the colors of this world

-J. Johnston

[fucking-museless]

2007

Psst I have a question a favor really just looking for alittle insight to how you make it look so easy How did you do it erase it all so fast I just can't seam to not remember i lack the ability to just not feel Could it be I just wasn't installed with the switch that could just turn everything on and off at whim I do wish I had one of those to call my own so I too can flip it when it's convenient.

[fucking-museless]

2007

The you . whom I gave my heart and soul The you . who used to protect The you . who used to comfort The you . who used to understand The you . who made it all right The you . who made me listen The you . who helped me threw The you . who would hold me The you .who could make me laugh The you . who made me smile The you . who dried my tears The you . who made it almost worth it The you . who didn't put up with me The you . who called me tweety The you . who tucked me in The you . who would rub my tummy The you . who would direct me The you . who would push me farther The you . who would catch me when I went to far The you . who was always there The you . who used to love me. The you . who used to complete me The you . who understood me The you . who I can't do without even though .. you . hurt me you . lied to me you . turned your back on me you . forgot me you . replaced me you . made me feel like another puppet you .  made me doubt my self and everything around me you .  broke me

They all say I should get over you. that enough time has passed to learn to live without you. But I can't seam to do with out you. Can't go a day with out thinking about you. I feel so empty with out you. How I wish I knew how to get over you. you.

Why can't I stop loving you .

The you . who used to be my everything The you . who I wish would just forgive me The you . who I wish would just love me The you . who I wish still wanted me The you . who's voice still lingers between my ears The you . who's face floats behind closed lids The you . who haunts my every dreams The you . who I wish to wake up beside The you . who I used to know isn't real anymore

you . who are you now.

[fucking-museless]

2010

' Why can't the actions be as simple as the words used to describe them ' I should find comfort in your words and that you found the voice to speak yet I don't know how to take them resting so heavy on a mind so weak the very words alone stand for all that we should be yet even as you say them never will it be me someone else has already found her place safe within those arms yet still you say these words do you think they do no harm your constant contradictions are forever on my mind wishing to have never heard what should have been left behind

[fucking-museless]

2010

' How do you trust in truth, when all you've heard are lying contradictions.' How should one take the words spoken by a lonely man when they pass threw a liars lips who would say whatever he can To make him self feel better knowing one is always there who will do all within her power to let him know someone cares

[fucking-museless]

2010

the fuel to my fire burning my veins your poison consuming flooding my brain drowning in this pleasure I'd give anything and all for just one more taste of what will be my down fall

[fucking-museless]

2012

words upon the screen are never as they seam just a twisted point of view of what we wish we knew it always comes back to everything we lack another restless night awakens another fight screaming out our pain the whispered words in vain it all loops back to something as we hold on to our nothing

[fucking-museless]

2012

Whisper your words at me see if they fall upon deaf ear. Tell me more of the things I didn’t wished to hear. I can’t listen to this. I shouldn’t trust in this. Every thing about this is wrong words from a time long gone. I want to trust you. don't ever trust me.

J. Johnston

[fucking-museless]

7.17.13

No matter what

someone always gets hurt

what doesn't make us stronger

only destroys us on the inside.

J. Johnston

[fucking-museless]

7.17.13

Always

just clips and phrases

I can't seem to get out anything good enough

then again

all comes from with in

I can only put out what I am.

[fucking-museless]

7.17.13

I keep dreaming,

That I'm resting my head besides a crashing sea, watching the waves flood in and allowing them to just roll over me.

I never lift my head.

I dream,

That worlds are shaking

and that it's all going to fall apart again.