“여자들이 꼽고 다니는 브로치 있죠. 그거 대한민국에서 내가 친구들이랑 최초로 팔기 시작했어요. 막대기를 세우고 거기에 천을 입혀서 브로치를 주욱 달아서 팔았죠. 그때는 브로치가 복숭아 모양, 장미 모양 참 단조로웠는데, 당시 여자들은 이걸 처음 보는 거니까 장사가 잘 됐어요. 그래서 내가 돈을 좀 벌었어요. 돈 버는 족족 일주일에 한 번씩 원장님께 갖다 드렸고 원장님은 내 이름으로 통장을 만들어서 저금을 해주셨지요. 그때쯤 내가 살아있다는 걸 아버지가 어떻게 알았던 모양이에요. 누군가 저에게 와서 ‘너희 아버지 경북 달성군 어디어디에 있다, 옛날은 잊고 한 번 찾아가봐라’ 하더라고요. 아버지는 어머니 돌아가시고 재혼해서 밥 해먹고, 나는 깡통 들고 밥 벌러 다니게 한 사람이에요. 미웠지만, 찾아갔어요. 고물장사를 하고 있더라고요. 그래서 ‘이왕에 고물장사를 할거면 도시에 가서 하는 게 낫지 않느냐, 부산 같은 데 가서 하셔라, 내가 집 하나 사줄게’ 그랬어요. 그 길로 부산 구포에 집을 사줬어요. 부인과 배다른 두 여동생까지, 가족 넷이 살라고. 내가 마음이 굉장히 약한 사람이에요. 불쌍하니까, 그래도 내 아버지니까 그랬어요. 내 할 일은 해야 한다고 생각했거든요. 그랬는데 고물장사가 잘 되자 아버지가 더 큰 집을 원하는 거예요. 저는 큰 집을 살 돈이 없다 그랬죠. 그런데도 ‘국민학교 앞에 큰 기와집이 있었는데 저걸 사면 참 좋겠다’ 하더라고요. 그래서 원래 집을 팔고 기와집에 전세로 들어가게 해드렸어요. 일년 후에는 아예 샀고요. 참 기분이 좋았지요. 그걸 내가 지금 갖고 있으면 부자 소리 들었을 거예요. 아버지는 한참 장사를 잘 하다가 사고를 쳐 버렸어요. 같이 일하던 사람이 구리줄을 몰래 끊어다 팔았는데 아버지가 그걸 산 거예요. 장물취득죄로 영창에 들어갔고 저는 빽을 써서 아버지를 빼냈어요. 자유당 시대에는 빽이 통했거든요. 그렇게 빼드리고 얼마 뒤 아버지 집에 갔는데 아무도 없는 거예요. 주변에 아무리 물어도 어디갔는지 모른다는 거야. 그때 배신감은 말로 다 못해요. 결국 김해에서 찾긴 했어요. 영창에서 며칠 자고 나오니까 장사가 하기가 싫었던 거예요. 장사 그만하고 남 농사짓는 거 도와주며 먹고 살려고, 내가 사준 집 팔고 그 돈까지 다 가져가서 거기 있더라고요. ‘나한테 이렇게 해도 됩니까’ 그랬어요. 아버지는 ‘참 내가 너한테는 미안하다’ 그러더라고요. ‘양심은 있는 겁니까. 나는 이제 아버지 일 관여 안 합니다’라고 말하고 돌아섰죠. 몇 년 뒤 아버지가 다 죽어간다는 소식을 들었어요. 내려가서 장례를 무사히 치루어 드렸지요. 나는 아버지에게 그렇게 해드린 거, 후회는 안 합니다. 누가 봐도 내가 할 도리는 다 했으니까요. 악을 악으로 갚으면 그게 다 비슷한 사람이 되는 거예요.”
“There’s something called a brooch that women pick out and wear. My friend and I were the very first to start selling those in South Korea, and I sold them by erecting a pole, covering it with cloth, and pinning brooches all along it. These peach or rose-shaped brooches back then were nothing special, but it was the first time women were seeing them, so business was brisk and I earned a bit of money. Once a week, I’d take the money I’d earned to the director of the orphanage, and the director put aside the money in a savings account under my name. Around that time, it seems my biological father somehow found out that I was alive. Someone said to me, ‘Your father’s at so-and-so in Dalseong County in Gyeongbuk. Forget the past and go see him.’ My father had remarried so he ate home-cooked meals after my mother passed away, but he had forced me to go out and beg for my food with an empty can. I hated him, but I went to see him. He was a scrap dealer so I told him, ‘If you’re going to run a scrap business anyway, wouldn’t it be better to do it in a city? Go to a place like Busan, I’ll buy you a house.’ Then I bought them a house in Gupo, Busan—him, his wife, my two younger half-sisters. All four of them. I’m really soft at heart. I felt bad for him, and still, he was my father. I thought I had to do what I had to do, you see. But as soon as the scrap business took off, my father wanted a bigger house. I said I didn’t have the money to buy a bigger house, of course. But still he said, ‘There’s a house with a tiled roof by the elementary school, and it sure would be nice to buy it.’ So I sold the first house and moved them into the tile-roofed house as a rental, and bought the house one year later. I felt so good. If I had that house now, people would say I’m a rich man. Business went well for my father for quite some time before he got neck-deep into trouble. Someone he worked with had secretly cut off copper stripping and sold it, and my father bought it. He went to jail for having bought stolen goods, and I pulled strings to get him out. Pulling strings like that worked during the Liberal Party era, you see. So I got him out and not long after, I went to the house but nobody was there. I asked all around but nobody knew where he’d gone. Words can’t express that feeling of betrayal then. I did eventually find him in Gimhae. After he’d gotten out from sleeping behind bars for a few nights, he’d realized he didn’t want to run his business anymore. He’d quit, taken all the money from selling the house I’d bought for him, and went to make a living helping on someone else’s farm. ‘How can you do this to me?’ I asked him. I remember him saying, ‘I sure feel sorry toward you.’ I told him, ‘Do you even have a conscience? I’ll have nothing to do with you now,’ and left. A few years later, I heard the news that he was dying, so I went down and took good care of his funeral. Doing all those things for my father, I don’t regret them. Because anybody can see that I did everything I could. When you repay a wrongdoing with another wrongdoing, you sink to that level.”
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