would gay sex fix them?
han solo & lando calrissian (star wars)
yes
it would make things worse
gay sex DID fix them
gay sex is the PROBLEM
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@fuckingscoundrels
would gay sex fix them?
han solo & lando calrissian (star wars)
yes
it would make things worse
gay sex DID fix them
gay sex is the PROBLEM
see results / i dont go here / im bald
they were never gay married but they ARE gay divorced. it's when you're divorced but you're kind of gay about it.
Drew some of my fav SW ships
rewatched empire strikes back recently
hanlando or skyrissian for the ship thing?
mrsholmson said to canonskyrissian:Solorissian: Their relationship summed up in a gif
@crystalfoxfics also requested solorissian so this is the solorissian masterpost xD
Who was the one to propose: it could really be either of them but I kinda like the idea that it was han
Who stressed more over wedding planning: oh definitely lando
Who decorated the house: LANDO as if that’s even up to debate
Who does the cooking: actually han
Who is more organized: LANDO again as if that’s even up to debate
Who initiates bedroom fun: depends on the day
Who suggested kids first: I really don’t ship this deeply enough to have thought about that lol but maybe lando??????
Who’s more dominant: oh lando no contest, han is a bottom to the boot
Who’s the cuddler: both but especially han
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: flying of course
Who comes home drunk at 3am: HAN no contest
Who kills the spiders: probably han
Who falls asleep first: han (and he snores)
Their relationship summed up in a gif:
send me a ship (star wars only)
(407): That would be an interesting position… Not entirely certain how that’d work!
(386): Gravity is no match for my libido
(407): That would be an interesting position… Not entirely certain how that’d work!
(386): Gravity is no match for my libido
⭐️homos in space ⭐️
i have such a good idea for a story like it’s short but it’s about lando and what he thinks about han and feeling bad for him etc idk like i dont think han needs sympathy but still it’s interesting i want to write it lol
Han and Lando tho.. 😭❤
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lando Calrissian/Han Solo Characters: Lando Calrissian, Han Solo Additional Tags: AU, Humor, Fluff, Romance Summary:
Lando accidentally does something romantic. Han accidentally points it out.
——
For @corelli-han
The Winter Ball
For @missaristocrat, part of my winter fic giveaway.
Lando led Han down to some of the lowest levels of Cloud City, giving him an unofficial tour as they went. It was impressive, Han had to admit to himself, and Lando was so knowledgeable about seemingly every aspect of the city. He never would have guessed Lando would end up in a role like this, but seeing him as Baron-Administrator....well, he couldn’t imagine a more perfect job.
Lando stopped at a doorway and tapped a number into a panel at the side. He paused, as if preparing himself and stepped aside, waving Han forward, letting him walk though the door first.
“Well?” Lando asked, standing next to Han. “What do you think?”
They stood on a balcony, above a wide staircase leading down past many different levels. Everything was painted in complimentary shades of icy blue and pale white. Clusters of neon blue lights shaped like snowflakes hovered gently in the air. Streams of satin ribbons in pastel purple and moss green swayed across the whole room. There were ornate displays of exotic, colourful space flowers and plants, beautifully decorated tables and chairs, a spacious ice rink decorated with intricate patterns, a gently flowing waterfall surrounded by icicles, a curious maze of neatly clipped hedges lit by multicoloured lights, and so much more. It was so carefully designed and so wonderfully put together, that it took Han’s breath away.
“It’s good.” He didn’t have the words to properly describe it. It really was the most stunning thing he’d ever seen. And the fact that Lando did this? It made it even more special.
“Good? Lost for words are we?” Lando laughed. “It wouldn’t kill you to expand your vocabulary sometimes. This is phenomenal, gorgeous, fantastic, exceptional-”
“Ok, ok....it’s really good.” Han mumbled, gazing around so he could fully appreciate every little thing.
“Oh? Really good? Careful. You might strain something.” Lando nudged Han with his shoulder.
“I dunno, Lando. This kinda stuff isn’t my thing.”
“So, I take it that means you don’t want to come?”
Han raised an eyebrow.
“To the ball?” Lando clarified.
“You want me to come?”
“Well....yes.” Lando regarded him carefully. “But only if you want to.”
“I dunno.” Han felt awkward. It would be strange going with Lando, he already felt so out of his depth just looking at this place.
There was a flicker of displeasure on Lando’s face, but he hid it well, and he shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “Just thought I’d ask. Anyway, I’ve got lots to do. Just thought I’d show you. I have to get back to my office, come on.”
Han just watched as Lando walked off, wondering if he’d said the wrong thing, before following him, trying to think of a way to show Lando how he really felt. It wouldn’t be easy though, and he would probably need some help. He hated asking for help, but it was Lando, so he’d have to just deal with it. It would be worth it.
———
It was the evening of the ball, and Lando stood on the balcony, surveying the excited crowds enjoying the party. Nearly every citizen had attended, it was already the most successful ball that the city had ever seen. He was pleased, after all it had taken a lot of time, effort and money to create and if it made the citizens of Cloud City happy? Well, it was more than worth it. Still, there was something missing. It would have been nice if he had some company, someone to share the night with. But, he knew, nothing was perfect and he couldn’t always have what he wanted.
His thoughts were interrupted by a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a tall man holding out a hand to him. The man was dressed in finely tailored dark blue clothes, with a thick, long black cape, and a simple, white mask that covered the top half of his face. Framed by the low lighting, he looked handsome and alluring. Although the person was clearly aiming for ‘mysterious’, Lando felt a pleasing flutter of recognition.
“What are you doing here, Han?” Lando questioned softly, impressed by the costume and mask.
“You know it’s me?” Han stepped backwards, gesturing to himself in surprise. As if a mask and a nice set of clothes was akin to a complicated disguise.
“Yeah. Obviously.” Lando rolled his eyes, and laughed. “I appreciate the effort though. And I’m curious, how did-”
“Lobot helped me.” Han muttered, as if it was no big deal, despite the fact he couldn’t meet Lando’s gaze.
“Now that...I’d love to see.” Lando took a moment to consider the idea of Han and Lobot having a conversation, let alone a discussion about a costume. It seemed bizarre and outlandish. Perhaps Han cared more for Lando than he had previously shown? To put in this kind of effort was pretty special. Lando couldn’t help but feel flattered if this was the case.
“I thought this wasn’t your thing.” Lando asked, tentatively questioning his theory, pretending as though the statement was light and uncaring, not one of curiosity.
“It’s not. But it’s your thing. And maybe I don’t get it completely, but I get it enough to understand how nice it is and how much you love it.” Han stepped closer, ducking his head and reaching for Lando’s hand, squeezing it gently.
“Well, that’s....” Lando didn’t know what to say, this was actually quite romantic. And for Han, this was pretty much the most romantic thing he’d ever done. It was....unexpected. And it was lovely.
“Ah. Now who’s lost for words?” Han smirked, apparently distracted from the romance and falling back into their competitive relationship.
Lando laughed, “Hey, if there’s ever a time to be lost for...” He trailed off, and simply smiled.
“What?” Han frowned, wondering if perhaps the mood had changed.
“Nothing. Just enjoying the moment.” Lando took a small step towards Han, tugging gently on Han’s cape.
“Oh. Yeah, it’s pretty good isn’t it? Romantic even.” Han raised an eyebrow.
“Mmm, very.”
“Could be something that’s better appreciated.....in a more private place?”
Lando nodded slowly, “Y’know, I know just where to go.” He took Han’s hand and pulled him towards the door.
“What about the ball?” Han muttered as an afterthought.
“Like I said earlier, look at this place, they’ll have a great time. They won’t notice if I’m here or not.”
They smiled at one another, and for a few moments they enjoyed the soft, blue lights of the party, holding hands and savouring being so close. But, soon, Lando’s plush apartment beckoned and they disappeared from the ball. It was alright though, Lobot was around to make excuses for Lando’s absence, and the party was so wonderful that few asked where the Baron-Administrator was.
The Meeting
Sequel to The Edge Of The Forest.
————
“Just remind me, this guy contacted you out of the blue?” Lando questioned, as he shuffled uncomfortably, wondering why exactly the message Han had received was so convincing. Now that he was here, he regretted the fact he hadn’t asked more questions - who was this mysterious person? Why did they want Han and Lando to do this job? And why the kriff did he want to pay so much? It seemed very odd and Lando didn’t like the situation at all.
“Yeah, so? He must have heard about that job we did last month.”
“This place is creepy.” Lando murmured, as he crossed his arms. He studied the room that he and Han had been asked to wait in - a gloomy, dusty waiting area, with dents in the walls and dark stains on the floor. It looked abandoned, and not at all like a place where someone lived. “And ugly.”
“So this guy isn’t an interior decorator.” Han shrugged. “For what he’s willing to pay us for this smuggling job, I don’t care where he wants to meet us.” He peered at Lando. “What? Are you having second thoughts?”
“I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling about this.”
“50,000 credits, Lando. 50,000! For one job.”
“Exactly. 50,000.” Lando gestured towards the battered doorway. “He can afford to pay us 50,000 credits but he lives in a place like this.”
Han frowned, “Well-” He faltered. “You’re just being...paranoid. We’ll be fine. And rich.”
“Or dead and poor.” Lando grumbled, displeased that Han wasn’t taking him seriously. “How do we know this isn’t a scam where he lures unsuspecting smugglers to his lair so he can kill them. Kill us.”
“His lair? It’s his lair now?” Han rolled his eyes, but...he couldn’t help the tiny prickle of unease that appeared at Lando’s words. Maybe he was wrong, and Lando was right? He did have good instincts, and, not that he would ever admit such a thing in their increasingly competitive friendship, those instincts had saved them quite a few times. Still, he couldn’t get the idea of 50,000 credits out of his head. The things he could do with that.....
Han’s thoughts were interrupted by several, loud, booming thuds from somewhere above and then what sounded like a muffled shout.
Lando raised one eyebrow, and pointed upwards, “Ah, that’s not suspicious at all.”
“Ok, ok, so maybe I’m getting the bad feeling now.”
“Probably his previous victim trying to escape.”
“Shut up.”
“We should go.”
Han was about to argue, but before he could, a trembling voice cried for help. They both looked upwards, towards where the cry had come from.
“Kriff.” Lando grumbled, knowing that they were going to have to investigate.
They looked at each other and then silently headed for he stairs. As they made their way up, Lando noted it was getting even more gloomy and difficult to see as they ascended. He didn’t like this at all.
The landing was dusty and cobwebs covered the ceiling, the hallway ahead was long and, despite some small windows, it was impossible to see where it ended because it was so dark. The trembling “help” sounded again and Han began to move forward, but as he did, Lando noticed a brief shift in the shadows, revealing a fleeting glimpse of a grinning mouth, illuminated by the moonlight. Lando’s blood ran cold, he recognised that grin - it was the same one he’d seen the year before in that strange, gnarled forest.
He grabbed Han without thinking, “Don’t move. There’s no-one there.”
“But-” Han started to protest, but he was stopped by a nervous giggle from somewhere in the darkness ahead, the giggle dissolved into high-pitched laughter. That same laughter that had haunted Lando for a whole year, the same laughter that appeared in his nightmares. The voice began to call for help again but it was mocking and cruel. “What the-”
Lando didn’t let Han finish his sentence, he fired two blaster shots into the dark, towards the voice. In any other situation, Lando would have felt fairly confident he would have hit his target, but the blaster shots seemed to disappear into the shadows, swallowed up by whatever was lurking at the end of the corridor. He didn’t know what kind of thing could avoid a blaster like that, and he really didn’t want to find out.
“To hell with this.” Lando took Han by his hand and dragged him towards the stairs.
“What was that?!” Han exclaimed, as he stumbled after Lando. “That voice-”
“It sounded-”
“Evil.”
“You’d think I’d get bored of being right.” Lando muttered.
“Yeah, yeah. Next time you call somewhere creepy, we leave immediately.”
They practically fell through the door, breathing heavily, as they rushed outside.
“Want to go somewhere crowded and well-lit?” Han asked, a pleading note to his voice.
“Yes. Please.” Lando agreed readily.
They walked into the town, staying close together, unaware that something was watching them, something that was getting closer and closer every year.
Han and Lando are still married. However Han still won the Falcon in divorce court. How?
He and Lando played Sabacc in divorce court to divide up their assets. Both of them cheated a bunch.
Han won the falcon but the Judge was like “this isn’t legal. you need paperwork and contracts to divide you assets.”
and Han and Lando were like “actually we don’t need you. forget the legal divorce we figured it out on our own” then they parted ways.
Lando uses the fact they are married to claim Han’s veterans befits. He went to the empire and basically argued that no one knows 100% what happened the day Han left the empire’s army. Lando says Chewie and the and the others abducted Han. When The empire protested and says Han is still working with Chewie. Lando says it’s Stockholm syndrome. He bluffed so well the empire decided it wasn’t worth the fight and just sent his benefits.
No one knows how taxes really work in the empire the government is basically just the whims of one crazy old guy so when Lando uses Han and his Stockholm syndrome to collect benefits and get huge tax returns no one knows if it’s against the rules.
Lando built his fortune and used the money to help run cloud city
lando: i’ll take care of you
han: it’s rotten work :(
lando: yeah it really fucking is
(x)
No ideas how long our asks have been turned off? Maybe forever ? Anyway they've been turned on now, Anon too.
(915): People…there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.