Uselessness

This road to Happiness seems more like a Rollercoaster ride

[starwarsgrl77]

A part of me is missing

[fuckour-lives]

3 years ago I had a cardiologist work up because my heart rate was 210bpm, I was experiencing presyncope, dizziness/light headedness, chest pain and shortness of breath. I was told all my testing was normal and have since been diagnosed with POTS, simple, easy. Or so I thought.

Today, 3 years later, I find out I have a blockage in the right side of my heart and left atrial enlargement, all from the testing done 3 years ago. This information was never disclosed to me and my diagnosis of POTS, while still potentially valid, is in fact NOT the underlying cause of my significant and worsening symptoms. The only reason I discovered this is because I requested my records to prepare for additional testing with a new cardiologist tomorrow due to the worsening of my symptoms and being 4 and a half months pregnant.

The blockage in my heart could be due to underlying, UNDIAGNOSED heart disease which runs in my family and has killed at least 2 members of my family. For 3 years, I was gaslit and constantly made to feel like I was insane for my symptoms and yet I find out today, upon receiving the initial ECG report that there has been actual, observable evidence of heart disease this entire time. I never was crazy, just a young 24 year old naive woman who was a professional athlete and couldn’t have possibly had heart disease.

[reemillustrated]

a reminder

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Traci Brimhall, Dear Eros

[soul-from-another-era]

Sometimes loss can be a wake-up call to a new reality.

[wedarkacademia]

Yeah now we've entered the back pain stage

[littlestpersimmon]

but I always thought you were cool

[remanence-of-love]

[anistonx]

[weltenwellen]

Kim Addonizio, “The Singing”, Tell Me

[weltenwellen]

Danez Smith, Don't Call Us Dead

[weltenwellen]

Mary Oliver, from “Hum Hum”, A Thousand Mornings

[anditslove]

Andrea Gibson, Birthday

[this-is-good-bye]

[effyeahchickenstrips]

[perfectquote]

“Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth.”

— Lyjeeria

[xoxokala]

It’s okay to let go

[iamcaselech]

[fuckour-lives]

11 years is too long not to have seen your face. I miss you. I hope I’m making you proud.

[road0flife]

[goddessactuality]

also how culture works