EPILOGUES HATEBLOG

I hate the epilogues and homestuck^2 and postcanon or whatever and if you like it your opinion is wrong and I hate you - a passionate hateblog Homestuck purist

[fucktheepilogues]

I lied, I do hate the epilogues with a burning passion.

I've attempted to move on from this in a mature way. A drastic personality shift pushed me to leave such petty things in the past. But I haven't truly escaped that fiery rage that rushes through me at the slightest mention of the absolute monstrosity that is the epilogues. I don't remember what all I said here, and I'm not rereading it because I don't care. But let it be known that the spirit of FTE is not dead and though it may have hidden, it will never truly disapear.

[fucktheepilogues]

I am presently having supper with my two BIGGEST FANS. I met them at a con and discovered theyve been quoting me for a hot minute! I feel so grateful, even though one of them is a disgusting ultimate Dirk fanatic (ew.)

Id like to give a shoutout to @sunast0es for making my day. I feel like such a celebrity!

Thank you to all my supporters. Im so grateful. And once again, fuck the epilogues!

[fucktheepilogues]

dirkkat🙁🙁

Do You Have A Fucking Problem.

[fucktheepilogues]

Idk if you've read it but truly I think Detective Pony on ao3 is a better exploration of Dirk and his views on stories and life and himself than the epilogues are. I read Detective Pony and was like Fuckk. We Could Have Had This... very much reccomend it. Also it's just genuinely a good story lol

At your recommendation, I will read it and update with my thoughts. It's something I've been somewhat interested in looking at in the past but ultimately couldn't be bothered to.

Thank you anon! :)

[clouds-soup]

I want to join in on the homestuck epilouge hate 🤓☝️

I did not enjoy reading them. I think, as a lot of people point out, it was uncomfortable to read. I went in blind and did not expect to read 190k words of characters getting freaky and literally shitting their pants (Jake why did they do that to you....)

The thing that's frustrating is that I see what they were trying to do. And it could have been good! But it was executed so poorly. The whole concept of an unreliable narrator controlling the narrative is so fun but they did it in such a shitty way.

I think that the characters being reduced to something one dimensional was purposeful. I think it's supposed to reflect how people have treated these characters in fanon. I think a lot of the story is attempting to make a mockery of how some people treat the characters and stroy in fanon.

It reads like an incredibly shitty 13 year old kids fanfic because it is essentially Dirks fanfic of his friends.

And i would've been fine with that. But i don't think they did it *well*. Every other aspect of the story is fucked up because they fucked up Dirks character. It's like reading a fic and thinking he wouldn't fucking say that but it's just everything Dirk says and does. It would have been so much better if they just got Dirk right but they fucked him up!!!

[fucktheepilogues]

!!!

I mean, I just said I was leaving the account, but I had to bump this shit up for real! This is so based.

[fucktheepilogues]

Hey, im out of queued posts and out of steam, so here is my ultimate, final post. This is huge. Buckle up.

...I've never actually read the epilogues. Yeah, that's right. I read the first few pages of meat and saw some screenies of certain bits, but I haven't actually read it. Obviously, since I haven't read it, I dont actually care that much. Honestly- I dont actually hate the epilogues.

Woah. Heavy, I know.

I was honest about some parts. Like the annoyance when post canon infiltrates regular homestuck media, how fucking annoying it was in pesterquest, the mischaracterization, etc.

But really, most of this account was just bullshit. Idgaf.

I will not be reading the epilogues. I've seen enough to know it is not something I would enjoy. Im sure some of you will leap at this admittance of not actually hating it to suggest I give it a chance, but your pleas will fall on deaf ears. Not interested.

Shoutout to the parody accounts. You guys are hella funny.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Idk

[plushiestrider]

Bro that's my fucking dad. Delete this bro. I might be a fag but not like that.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

You have like

Fifty different ailments going on inside your brain what the hall are you talking about. What does being a fag have to do with thsi. How is that your dad.

[plushiestrider]

Lil Cal is my dad. Posting a drawing of someone nude in bed with their abusive puppet dad is prime freak behavior.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Im not gonna deny the freak allegations but hes naked because i wanted to do a body study, if youre making it weird thats on you buddy…..

Also i dont think lil cal is your dad that has some weird puppet semen implications

[plushiestrider]

Just do a body study with me as the virtuvian man, pussy.

Lil Cal is my dad because he raised me, and you don't know anything about puppet semen. I'm basically a trained fucking professional.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Why do u want me to do a body study of you freaky ass 😏

[plushiestrider]

I don't. You fucking disgust me. But clearly you have some pathological paraphilia involving me you and John in some gay ass situationship. I don't think there's anything I can do to stop you.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Fuck yeah i have john paraphilia but where do you come into this

[plushiestrider]

Oh my bad, I was confused given your unhinged broposting.

Maybe you only wanna fuck John, in which case.

Bad taste in Egberts.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Dude are you claiming to be bro strider……..

[plushiestrider]

I am not claiming anything. I am a representation of Bro Strider, a splinter of the ultimate narrative metaself, as all homestuck fanart is.

Maybe read the homestuck epilogues, and then you'll understand. Maybe one day, you'll get it, and walk up to me in humble defeat, before asking to commission a smuppet of 40 year old dilf John Egbert.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Maybe ill not read the epilogues cuz they suck and i would never do the last part either because i would never like a version of john egbert that old

Maybe youll stop talking in cryptic ass retardation sentences …….. and make sense …. Who knows

[fucktheepilogues]

Right on brother the epilogues DO suck

[fucktheepilogues]

One of the reasons I dont like the epilogues is because it is uncomfortable to read. Maybe it's just a me thing, but it's just a really unpleasant and unenjoyable thing to read. Art is meant to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed- but I dont feel that there is anything to gain from it. A lot of art is uncomfortable to consume. But if you analyze it, there's usually a meaning behind it. I dont feel that way about the epilogues. Maybe there is some deeper meaning im just not grasping, but it doesn't seem to be representative of the characters depicted in it. I wish at least that they could have made their own characters to write about instead of the homestuck cast because it just feels grossly mischaracterized. Of course, they added some original characters, but that doesn't change the fact that they are still including ones from homestuck.

Seeing ones favorite pre established characters behaving so out of character- and having so many people accept it as accurate, is quite unsettling. I think that if a media is not making a meaningful statement it should at least be enjoyable to consume.

Again, pardon the fact I could've worded this better. I hope you get the gist of what im trying to say, I have trouble translating my thoughts into words.

[fucktheepilogues]

I hate when people reference something that happened "in homestuck" and im like wtf are you talking about and then they clarify it was post canon and i look at them with the most judgemental expression ever like what the fuck do you mean. Do you know who i am? A lot of guts saying that in my side of town.

[fucktheepilogues]

I want a schnitzel so fucking bad right now its not even funny. I might kill myself

Fuck the epilogues

[nem23]

[fucktheepilogues]

I could really go for a schnitzel rn actually...

Mmm... lecker...

The epilogues dont have nearly enough schnitzels...

[fucktheepilogues]

You should make a "Fuck Act 6" blog because its the source for most problems for the comic and after.

But i dont want to. Why dont you do it

Be the cryptid you want to see in the woods or whatever

[fucktheepilogues]

go off king thank you . the beautiful part ab homestuck is that the ending left things open to interpretation, kind of a homage to the trillion AUs , timelines, alt versions , etc that made the fandom and media blossom

!!!! This!!

Thank you, anon

[cryptotheism]

[fucktheepilogues]

This reminds me of all the parody accounts lmao

[fucktheepilogues]

If Arquius was in the epilogues I think he would fix everything wrong with them

Seconded Arquius is the goat

Though realistically, they'd probably mischaracterize him, too.

[fucktheepilogues]

How do you feel about jake english in the epilogues

They did him dirty. Doesn't he like shit himself. I love Jake he really deserved better hes a great character and more than just a himbo. I hold him close to my heart. Ohh... poor thang.

[nothingtheepilogues]

vriska serket was right, page players suck. "oh but they get good at the last minute" what about the other minutes. what are they doing during those. oh that's right; NOTHING.

if you are a page player you are UNINVITED from my sburb session. i'm sorry, but it's the meta.

[fucktheepilogues]

Is this targeted. Fuck you man. I thought we were chill.