Your Favorite Dirk Strider Plushie

[plushiestrider]

Suprise bitch

I actually did it, I'm here to release my wonderful presence onto timblr dot com. How did you ever survive without me.

He/him pronouns, in the most masculine and binary way you can conceive of.

My sister Power and her 2 headmates post here too. I couldn't find a way to lock them out, so I gave up.

Irrelevant limelight hogs, women, people who fuck plushies without express consent, Roxy (you know what you did), don't fucking interact with me. Fuck you.

My therapist told me that not letting Dirk splinters and kinnies is a type of destructive self isolation. So as the world's most healthy man, Dirk kinnies, introjects, and splinters are extremely fucking welcome.

Welcome to the emporium bros

[plushiestrider]

@rediiyes

Bang.

[plushiestrider]

No, no he doesn't smoke. Whiteboys simply hate him for his chiseled jawline, he's honed himself as a blade, he's a whetstoner.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

flawlessly moving my head in sync with a hypnotists swinging pocket watch to neutralize his technique before punching him in the throat and stealing his wallet

[the-muppet-joker]

I suck at my job. I'm a terrible husband and father. I have absolutely nothing going for me except my ability to write muppet erotica. I know what its like to be the pony with the shittiest cutie mark. God made every creature for a specific reason, and I am the angel he made with the sole purpose of falling from grace

[moonzzzzi]

Most Bro Strider coded post of all time maybe

[farttechshithead]

hussiecest yuri

[plushiestrider]

Feelin Psy Cholonial

[plushiestrider]

Im fucking bedbound chat, how am i meant to be masc in these conditions.

[gothamnight]

oh darling, you were made for this. i recognize that bowler hat and green suit anywhere. you want to see someone, anyone, to answer your riddles. i know how much you need this. show them, show the world who you're destined to be. #forceriddler #riddlerification #hypno

[heartcade]

Which flavor of strider-shades cringe are you?

[dollcoil]

relatable kid experience in the united states of amerika:

child: mommmm why cant we stop and go the street fight? i want to fight The Enemy,

and mom is all like: "come now honey, we have The Enemy at home"

and yoy (childs) get home get home and The Enemy, its your.. you have to kill your dad, you yave to destroy his head and splatter his stupid patriarchal blood and brains all over the kitchen with the heaviest thing you can pick up with your weak little corn syrup arms or he will just keep getting back up again

[dollcoil]

i saw the illuminated ancient horse healing manuscript and i dont even fucking care (starts shadowboxing way too hard and fast and i start panting, and i clench my eyes shut, i begin to turn beet red and even though it looks like i might hurt myself, veins bulging, i dont stop)

[dollcoil]

everytime you fail a suicide attempt, im gonna be there giggling and laughing, cradling your head, you silly life liver, you think you can break fate? it was already written that you will be be forced to continue writhing for much much longer than that, HAHAHAHHAHA, toiling on this wretched world, round and round baby. get back up, we arent done.

[plushiestrider]

When it speaks, the concordium of plush can do nothing but listen.

[plushiestrider]

They grow up so fast...

[plushiestrider]

I've discovered smuppet tumblr and wait a fucking moment, I never gave my pornbots access to tumblr. This shouldn't be possible without some bullshit emergent sentience, and I am NOT in the business of Frankensteining any more kids into existence

[limplegsakimbo]

[plushiestrider]

Give me your address right fucking now we NEED to talk.

[plushiestrider]

People who thirst for Vriska are absolutely wild. That's the most pathetic insecure bitch ever. Y'all would simp for Greg Heffley if you could imagine him with breasts.

[serketveggie]

i find the concept of a transfem Greg Heffley extremely attractive both in a narrative and physical sense you are very correct.

[plushiestrider]

Given my taste in men insulting this would cause me to miraculously combust.

[plushiestrider]

What the FUCK is baking soda