Fenris discovering his sexuality during the three year break, noticing attractive people all over and wondering when the fuck did things like Qunari going around shirtless began to peek his interest
This isn’t quite on topic, but I’m a little too demi to answer as intended. I hope you enjoy the (very late) answer, anyway, anon. Thanks!
The dust settled, and the world shifted itself back intosome semblance of normalcy – or what passed for it, anyway. The lingeringtension between Fenris and Hawke had been mollified, somewhat, by an unexpectedreturn to the Deep Roads, and the defeat of the ancient darkspawn they’d foughtthere, and now it was time for them both to move on like adults.
It was, irrevocably, over.
There were no more leisurely late night strolls throughHightown, no more excited shivers running up Fenris’s spine just because theirfingers happened to brush, no more warm, intimate murmur of their voices underthe stars. There were no more stolen kisses – not sweet, or heated, or slow, orplayful. The always-thrilling rush when Hawke pressed close, overwhelming inhis size, his power, his physical strength, was a thing of the past.
Life was duller that way. Harder. Lonelier. Among otherthings, Fenris had expected to miss early morning pastries and relaxed eveningsat the Hanged Man, comfortable silences and stupid jokes. But the rest –
Fenris missed feeling sexual.
It had never been a concern for him before, never aninterest. A pretty face or a powerful body weren’t ever worth paying attentionto, weren’t worth the time, the humiliation, the vulnerability. Fenris didn’tlike sex, so none of it mattered.
Hawke changed everything, didn’t he? Hawke, with his warmeyes and his strong hands and, Maker,those shoulders.
Fenris had never wanted to be touched, before Hawke. He’dnever caught himself staring at a pair of lips, hungry for their taste. He’dnever taken himself in hand and thought, purposefully, of another, takingpleasure in imagination’s wiles.
It had been – exciting wasn’t was strong enough word.Addictive, maybe. Fenris had surprised himself with how much he wanted, howdeeply. An unexpected side-effect of freedom – a real, tangible sign of growthand change. Giddy, glorious. Fenris had wanted.
And that night – oh, that night, so terrifying, so exciting,so good – so overwhelming.
It was over. It had to be over. Fenris wasn’t – he couldn’t –Hawke –
Nothing hurt half so much as giving up the progress he hadrightfully made. Learning to want, only to push that want aside. Awakening hisbody, then denying it.
Fenris had given his soul to Hawke.
A part of it remained with him, still.