Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
This ongoing interview series aims to track down some of the notable SW&D posters who have all but vanished from our collective cyber gaze.
First up, the man, the legend, the kunk.
FYSF: Will, do you mind if I call you Will? Will, firstly, thanks for taking some time out of your jammed schedule to sit down with us.
Will: it's kunk. what’s with this shitty fruit bowl? who keeps tomatoes in a fruit bowl?
FYSF: Sorry, Wil—kunk, kunk. I don’t know about the fruit bowl. My assistant put it together, but don’t worry, he’s been fired. Let’s not worry about that, OK? Let’s get down to brass tacks. Why did you leave SW&D?
Kunk: it’s watered down. nothing but ugly marginal gats and bob geller. limp dick shit. it’s a far cry from the golden age of socal wearing man skirts and an eye patch because he got jizz in his eye.
FYSF: I don’t think that’s why he had the eye patch.
Kunk: i can leave if you’d like to do both sides of the interview?
FYSF: No, let’s continue, please. What to you is the biggest difference between SW&D now and when you were a regular contributor?
Kunk: weren’t you listening? gats and geller. it’s no match for dick and ovens.
FYSF: Who was your favorite SW&D member?
FYSF: That's pretty funny.
Kunk: It's not supposed to be.
Kunk: speaking of members, mine is pretty huge, you know? like when i sit down on the toilet i sometimes hear a big kaplunk. or maybe i should say a big "KUNK" hahahaha.
FYSF: So what have you been doing with the time you’re saving by not contributing regularly to SW&D anymore?
Kunk: you phrased that question really terribly but i’m going to answer it anyway because i got laid last night while the kids were camping out in the backyard. i’m enjoying the fruits of my labor. fuck now i'm thinking of this shitty fruit bowl. tomatoes? what were you guys thinking? ok ok other than that, i also meet up with artishard now and again so i can bench press and deadlift him. deadlifting in dick, you know what i mean?
FYSF: Maybe. Hey, tell me your favorite SW&D story.
Kunk: i don’t really like to live in the past. why don’t I tell you about licking my wife’s ass last night instead?
FYSF: I think that’s just about all the time we have, but kunk, thanks again for swinging by.
Kunk: see we’re usually positioned in opposing directions but last night I was like ‘ooo you’re gonna get it,” so i grab her from behind and…
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